oops, I hope I didn’t offend our host. It is Robert Stacy McCain, not Robert Stacy-McCain, right? Man, I hope so, cause I ain’t backspacing over my first sentence this late in the game.

oops, I hope I didn’t offend our host. It is Robert Stacy McCain, not Robert Stacy-McCain, right? Man, I hope so, cause I ain’t backspacing over my first sentence this late in the game.

After the third marriage starts to fall apart, chances are it’s not the other person.

Exactly. Or, as has been observed:

“Wherever you go, there you are.”

Some people lack the self-awareness to understand that they are the cause of their own problems. They wallow in self-pity or project blame on others, and thus the problems only become worse.

Whenever you hear a woman complain that men are all selfish jerks, or you hear a man complain that women are all evil bitches, it’s obviously a form of scapegoating, a defensive rationalization that has the suspiciously convenient advantage of exempting the complainer from responsibility for the success or failure of their own relationships.

Some people are attracted to (or else have a knack for attracting) jerks or bitches. Wheneven you see a person with a pattern of bad relationships, you will inevitably find that they lack the self-awareness to see their own responsibility for this problem. The habit of blaming others for your own failures — a hallmark of the narcissistic personality — is not attractive, and sensible people will generally try to avoid relationships with someone who routinely engages in scapegoating rationalizations.

So there is a vicious cycle: By their own habits, the narcissist eliminates from their pool of potential relationships anyone who is emotionally healthy and sensible. Attempts to explain to such people the nature of their own problems are rejected with hostility, because their problem is fundamentally rooted in their inability to recognize and accept responsibility for their own shortcomings.

After the third marriage starts to fall apart, chances are it’s not the other person.

Exactly. Or, as has been observed:

“Wherever you go, there you are.”

Some people lack the self-awareness to understand that they are the cause of their own problems. They wallow in self-pity or project blame on others, and thus the problems only become worse.

Whenever you hear a woman complain that men are all selfish jerks, or you hear a man complain that women are all evil bitches, it’s obviously a form of scapegoating, a defensive rationalization that has the suspiciously convenient advantage of exempting the complainer from responsibility for the success or failure of their own relationships.

Some people are attracted to (or else have a knack for attracting) jerks or bitches. Wheneven you see a person with a pattern of bad relationships, you will inevitably find that they lack the self-awareness to see their own responsibility for this problem. The habit of blaming others for your own failures — a hallmark of the narcissistic personality — is not attractive, and sensible people will generally try to avoid relationships with someone who routinely engages in scapegoating rationalizations.

So there is a vicious cycle: By their own habits, the narcissist eliminates from their pool of potential relationships anyone who is emotionally healthy and sensible. Attempts to explain to such people the nature of their own problems are rejected with hostility, because their problem is fundamentally rooted in their inability to recognize and accept responsibility for their own shortcomings.