Posted on | March 13, 2012 | 19 Comments
When you’re seeking a metaphor for “no chance in hell,” certain impossible scenarios immediately come to mind, which was what I was aiming for in my American Spectator column today:
Monday, Carl Cameron of Fox News was the vehicle by which “sources close to the Gingrich campaign” floated a trial balloon, suggesting that former House Speaker Newt Gingrich might announce Texas Gov. Rick Perry as his running mate “prior to the Republican National Convention at the end of August.”
While I haven’t bothered to check with my own “sources close to the Gingrich campaign,” this suggestion had the distinct aroma of a substance one might find on the plains of Texas in the vicinity of a herd of longhorn cattle. Carl Cameron is too smart of a reporter to believe such a steaming pile of nonsense, and so my guess is that Carl was just sharing it with Fox News viewers in order to give them a glimpse of how truly desperate “sources close to the Gingrich campaign” have become. Republican voters go to the polls in Alabama and Mississippi today, and if Newt loses these two primaries, he’s got as much chance of winning the GOP nomination as he has of making Christina Hendricks his next wife. . . .
Read the whole purposefully cruel thing. My apologies to Newt fans, but I finally got tired of being forced to listen to such ridiculousness.