The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

Progressivism Is the Ultimate Comb-Over

Posted on | April 20, 2012 | 14 Comments

by Smitty

Althouse links the NYT:

Shaving your balding head is like breaking up with someone before he or she can break up with you. Or like marching into your boss’s office and saying: “You can’t fire me. I quit.”
After all, nothing screams “gradual decline” like thinning or retreating hair. It’s a constant voice of anxiety whining, “It’s only going to get worse!” But with a shaved head, it can’t get any worse. There’s no voice of anxiety. You’ve already gone ahead and chosen the nuclear option.
We men already are facing way too many gradual declines without adding baldness to the mix. Compared with the women in our lives, we’re fading in nearly every category: educational achievement, income growth and general necessity. For years we’ve no longer been needed (at least not in person) even to make a baby.

I guess if you’re some narcissist, it could be that big of a deal. My hair was ever a disaster, even when full. It was nearly a relief when enough cowardly follicles abandoned ship to just say “Begone with the rest this useless #OccupyCranium lot.”

What sort of absurdities will you entertain to avoid reality? Full-on bouts of Trump-ism? This nonsense?

Having an asinine hairdo is like having asinine political leaders who can’t pass a budget, much less balance one. Sure, through a triumph of the will, you can pretend reality is non-existent. You can fake it, as though no one can see through your wretched toupée, your cooked numbers on unemployment and inflation. You can pretend that the bankruptcy of your failed social welfare state isn’t poking out through the endless smoke and mirrors, or that status as the world’s reserve currency is a license to inflate the currency at will.

To paraphrase Einstein: insanity is combing the same thing over and over, expecting adequacy. Or you can just man up, face reality, and let your skull fun free. Courage. Find it.

Aside: Paul Ryan, I hate you in the most loving way possible. 🙂

Update: linky-love from The Camp of the Saints, The Daley Gator, and Dyspepsia Generation.


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  • Evi L. Bloggerlady

    Great ultimate combover picture.  

    Of course, I have thick golden orange locks.  Like Althouse!  

  • Adobe_Walls

    #Occupy….. is there anything it can’t do?

  • Garym

    Smitty, what is even more depressing is that the more follically challenged your head becomes, the wookie-like the rest of your body becomes as you get older.
    ; )

  • Garym

     RE: the combover picture. I didn’t know Chucky Johnson was having problems like this. Such a shame.

  • Pathfinder’s wife

    Hey, I happen to really dig hairy chested men…and bald can be very sexy on them too.
    Yul Brynner baby…yeah!

    And the piece of the article is a bit cringe inducing — the tone is all wrong.  A shaven head, hairy chested guy would get more pissed off (and thus be sexy).

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  • Bob Belvedere

    …I have thick golden orange locks.

    That would explain a lot.

  • Garym

    I’m not as follically challenged as Smitty, however wookies were designed after me. 
    : ( 

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  • Evi L. Bloggerlady

    Yes it does!  

  • Pathfinder’s wife

    Eh, the old man isn’t quite that hairy (although he’s a hirsute man) nor bald at all (but he won’t go longer than a fade and sometimes he just shaves it all off, which is ironic because he has a thick head of hair), but this hairless guy meme that’s the new fashion is a bit creepy to me.

    Besides: grumpy, OCD, hairy, stocky German boys who refuse to change their hairstyle from back in the days of E2 and still refuses to wear anything brighter colored than navy blue — it’s a dirty job, but somebody’s got to love ’em (which I do…very alluring 😉 ).

  • John LaRosa

    I am at the forefront (or foreheadfront) of the movement to make #BaldIsBeautiful a trending tag on Twitter.

  • Christy Waters

    The guy in the picture must be a Ron Paul supporter.