Announcement: S.A.L.V.E.

Posted on | June 19, 2012 | 23 Comments

by Smitty

Shameless Acts of Literary Vandalism and Entertainment is surely the Publishing Event of June 19, 2012! Collected in one tidy package, and available just in time for West Virginia Day, you can now spare yourself the toil of navigating to 45 different URLs, and instead have a handsome, consolidated unit for your entertainment needs. You can settle the age-old question: Is this thing better employed as the target, or the missile?

Featuring an introductory essay/mea culpa/mercy plea from Robert Stacy McCain, S.A.L.V.E.breaks new ground where wiser heads see thin ice. Birtherism is far too tame, as S.A.L.V.E asks:

Could the Secretary of State really be the President’s mother? (OediPOTUS Wrecks)
Could co-bloggers sustain a Samuel Beckett riff while sending up Obama’s stimulus program? (Waiting for O-Dough)
Can you make a post-apocalytpic road trip in an obscure Sean Connery vehicle? (Czar d’Oz)
Do infamous forgeries and pulp horror mix? (The Protocols of the Elders of CTHULHU)

Critics being critics, they have come after the author with tar, feathers, a live cattle prod, and a Dremel:

Simón Bolívar: Smitty needs calibration by my ‘infinitely firm hand’.
Kurt Schlicter: If this book was any better, it’d be as good as mine.
The Taco Bell Chihuahua: Yo quiero, barf-o bag!
Tywin Lannister: I’d sooner have a crossbow bolt for a laxative than this.
Khal Drogo: I, for one, would prefer a molten crown.
George W. Bush: Me? I’m heading to the Pike Place. . .Market.
Meddle: One of these days, I’m going to cut Smitty into little pieces.
Frank J. Fleming: Easily the second most important conservative political humor book of all time. Barring most others.
Severian: Were Smitty my client, I could offer him a thousand remedies.
Rutherford B. Hayes:
Larry Niven: Smitty should be decked by the long arm of Gil Hamilton.
Smaug: I’d like to light up Smitty’s life.

I hope that the critical blowback doesn’t reach Mrs. Other Smitty’s photo site. She was gracious enough to donate the cover photo. This is available on CreateSpace.com right now, and will be available via Kindle whenever the unspecified blockage that keeps getting it kicked back from “in review” to “draft” is alleviated. Not that I’m bitter or anything. Not me. Nope. Any readers who have a point of contact within Amazon are welcome to chime in.

Update: Thanks, Fausta!

Category: Blogging, Farce, humor

Comments

23 Responses to “Announcement: S.A.L.V.E.”

Read Smitty! | Fausta's Blog
June 19th, 2012 @ 11:00 am

[…] multi-talented Smitty, blogger extraordinaire, dad of the World’s Youngest Blogger, and Afghanistan vet, has a new […]
Don Surber
June 19th, 2012 @ 11:09 am

Clarification: Wednesday, June 20, is West Virginia Day.

Today is Juneteenth. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Juneteenth

I am sure you knew that & meant this is just in time for tomorry’s celebration, with its fried bologna and pepperoni rolls…
Zilla of the Resistance
June 19th, 2012 @ 11:09 am

Smitty, upon clicking the link it said I needed to log in or sign up and make an account to view your masterpiece, and so i did sign up and log in, but when I click the link to see your glorious work, it just takes me to my own blank dashboard. Am I doing something wrong?

ETA: OK I got there from Fausta’s link and it worked. Now if some people will hit my tip jar so I can spare a few books towards such a worthwhile purchase, I will eagerly order a copy!
Congratulations on your new book, Smitty, may it be a huge success!
smitty
June 19th, 2012 @ 11:15 am

Yes, and S.A.L.V.E. this is available just in time!
smitty
June 19th, 2012 @ 11:16 am

Please try again. I had the management link, not the storefront link, though it still may require a login.
I’m waiting for them to finish the Kindle version.
Mme Scherzo
June 19th, 2012 @ 11:47 am

Shameless Acts of Literary Vanadlism and Entertainment. Vanadlists have always been shameless, haven’t they?
jwallin
June 19th, 2012 @ 11:47 am

Dremel has only 1 M.

Other than that, we’ll take the free product placement.
Zilla of the Resistance
June 19th, 2012 @ 1:45 pm

Works fine now. Congratulations, again!
A Balm For The Soul « The Camp Of The Saints
June 19th, 2012 @ 2:12 pm

[…] For more information and to read some reviews, click here. […]
Wombat_socho
June 19th, 2012 @ 3:57 pm

The Typo Death Squad is on the case.
K-Bob
June 19th, 2012 @ 4:19 pm

Followers of Vanadl will complain.
K-Bob
June 19th, 2012 @ 4:25 pm

Smitty posts are hard.

Now I have to go and look.

Oh. Literature.
K-Bob
June 19th, 2012 @ 4:26 pm

No ramps?
Smitty Wrote a Book! | The Lonely Conservative
June 19th, 2012 @ 4:44 pm

[…] veteran, blogger and fairly new father can now add “author” to his resume. He announced today the release of his book SALVE: Shameless Acts of Literary Vandlism and Entertainment, with an […]
Mike G.
June 19th, 2012 @ 6:46 pm

Ramps ar gud. Two bad thay dont hav a longer seeson.

Waynesville, NC has a Ramp Festival every spring.
K-Bob
June 19th, 2012 @ 8:13 pm

Yeah, they have ’em in West Virginia, too.

Sometimes ramps and crawdads both!
Mme Scherzo
June 20th, 2012 @ 1:03 am

Let them. No one cares what Van Adl thinks anyway!
Mme Scherzo
June 20th, 2012 @ 1:12 am

Why, why, WHY did you correct that glorious typographical error? We want Van Adl!
K-Bob
June 20th, 2012 @ 1:47 am

Uh, oh.

The High Priests of Vanadl will decry your blasmephy!

So watch out!
Mme Scherzo
June 20th, 2012 @ 2:31 am

Let the High Priests decry my blasmephy! I dare them to decry my blasmephy. Van Adl is but a wisp of smoke and nothing more. Easily corrected with an EDITRIX.
Wombat_socho
June 20th, 2012 @ 2:57 am

I’m going to “correct” you if your spelling doesn’t improve tout suite.
Slathering S.A.L.V.E On Your Kindle : The Other McCain
June 20th, 2012 @ 10:04 am

[…] and pulp horror mix? (The Protocols of the Elders of CTHULHU)Yesterday’s announcement of CreateSpace availability got some fine linkage:The Camp of the Saints (tree hater at large)The Lonely […]
Red
June 20th, 2012 @ 10:05 am

I may have to buy one simply to contribute to the higher education of the Worlds Youngest Blogger 😉