Blame Joan of Arc

Posted on | August 10, 2013 | 136 Comments

WASHINGTON, D.C.
My photos of “Slutwalk DC” got zapped — “It was a glitch! It was a technical malfunction!” to quote Gus Grissom — while I was trying to load them from the disc of my wife’s camera, which I was using because my faithful pink “Barbie cam” is broken.

So you won’t get to see the photos of Celine, the topless feminist with nice pink nipples, or Eliana, the long–legged George Washington University coed who made the march while wearing black lingerie and high heels. And like I said, I blame Joan of Arc for this.

The march began at the plaza around the African-American Civil War Memorial at the corner of Vermont and U Street. When I arrived, the strumpets and hussies and harlots were gathered around, brandishing their signs and, of course, their breasts. By my count — and trust me, I’m a professional journalist — four women made the march topless, but Celine’s were certainly the nicest pair.

Celine is a 25-year-old blonde from Baltimore, nerdy and pale, not particularly beautiful but not unattractive.

Did I mention she was topless? And she has nice pink nipples?

On her chest she had written, with red lipstick, “Still not asking for it.”

Celine was wearing geek glasses and struck me as trying to seem more at ease than she actually was. When I asked permission to take her picture, she said, “Thanks for asking my consent.” Honestly, I felt kind of bad for her, as I objectified her with my male gaze.

Well, a picture would be worth a thousand words, but as I say, the cursed camera failed me, and so words are all I have for you.

Guys who’ve dated around a lot (and, hey, I used to be a Democrat) know the pleasant surprise when you score the hook-up with a chick like this, the “nice girl” type who may not seem superficially sexy, but once she gets naked . . .

Well, I married one of those, and thus perhaps have a special appreciation for the type. If you met Celine, clothed, you probably wouldn’t be too impressed. But topless? Hey, nice pair.

Maybe not quite a full C-cup, but at least a generous B, and did I mention her nipples? Pretty sure I did.

Not that I said any such thing to her, and I didn’t even stare as I interviewed Celine for The American Spectator column I’ll write later.

Did you read Ace’s laceration of Amanda Marcotte the other day? Because I’m the patriarchal oppressor of Amanda’s dystopian nightmares: Yes, I see women — and their breasts — and am immediately filled with visions of them impregnated with my seed, bearing my offspring, bringing me sandwiches. But ultimately, there’s not enough of me to go around, and my wife insists on monopolizing my oppressive misogyny — for which other women should be grateful.

Anyway, there I was amid the assembled feminists on the plaza on Vermont Avenue. Trying not to be too conspicuous in my sexist objectification of them — besides Celine, there were about two dozen other reasonably attractive women among the hundreds who turned out for SlutWalk DC. Out of the whole crowd, there were only three or four you’d really call “hot,” and none of those were topless. (Fact: Public toplessness is legal in DC, but women don’t seem much interested in exercising that particular right.)

After about 15 or 20 minutes, the march began, three blocks east on U Street to 14th, where they turned north and uphill, and then went east into Meridian Hill Park. It was on that final leg of the march that I gathered the nerve to briefly interview Eliana, who was unquestionably the hottest woman in the march. She wore a sort of bustier and lace panties that left the lower portion of her buttocks exposed.

Eliana is a tanned brunette with slender legs — a “coltish” figure, you might say — and two dimples above her remarkably small but certainly quite round and shapely ass.

When I was a young fellow, I was very much an ass man who liked skinny girls like that, but for some reason, they don’t really impress me the way they did 30 or 35 years ago. This shift in aesthetic preference isn’t something I can explain, but which I note by way of saying that while I recognized mentally that Eliana was the best-looking participant in SlutWalk DC — a head-turning figure, dressed quite scantily — concupsicence was not a factor involved in my approaching her.

“Those heels must be killing you,” I said.

She laughed, and politely answered my questions: She’s a senior at George Washington University, majoring in psychology, minoring in women’s studies. “Oh, women’s studies,” I said.

The march arrived at Meridian Hill Park, where a temporary stage was set up at the south end, near the statue of a sword-wielding figure on horseback. Military monuments are a dime a dozen in D.C., where statues memorializing once-famous heroes are ignored by the residents. How many people, for example, ever think about “The Rock of Chickamauga” when driving through Thomas Circle?

So here we were, me and the self-proclaimed sluts, in the very shadow of this equestrian warrior, sword aloft, and out of curiosity I walked over to see whom this statue memorialized.

JEANNE D’ARC
LIBERATRICE
1412–1431
AUX FEMMES D’AMERIQUE
LES FEMMES DE FRANCE

Joan of Arc, patron saint of sluts? Surely the event organizers had intentionally chosen the location for the ironic purpose of having this fanatically Catholic 15th-century French peasant girl standing guard, as it were, over their convocation.

I hung around a bit longer,carefully studying the crowd to do a tally, counting exactly 14 pretty faces among about 400.

Perhaps I missed a few, or maybe I double-counted some, but certainly there weren’t more than two dozen lookers among them. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, of course, and maybe the AOSHQ “I’d hit it” standard is flexible enough that 10% would have made the grade without benefit of serious whiskey consumption.

My job was done, and I walked down 14th Street to this McDonald’s, intending to upload a few photos, including pink-nippled Celine, but something went wrong. My unfamiliarity with this camera is probably to blame. I’m sure I hit the wrong button while trying to download the photos. Perhaps it was a perfectly mundane technical accident, but when I checked the disk a second time — nothing.

Call it a glitch, call it a coincidence, but I don’t believe in coincidences. No, I blame it on that sword-wielding peasant girl. She didn’t want her feminist sisters objectified by the male gaze.

Ah, Joan! No wonder they burned you at the stake.

UPDATE: Thank goodness, some of the photos have been aggregated at Twitchy, including this one:

#slutwalkdc pic.twitter.com/oG8TiDeNUV

— Rebecca (@rebeccuhhh_) August 10, 2013

That’s Eliana, the George Washington University senior, click here to see a larger view of her dimpled ass — not that any of our readers would objectify her with the male gaze or anything like that.

UPDATE II: Joke time is over, this is serious:

At #SlutWalk, Statutory Rape Victim’s
Sign Explains, ‘I Didn’t Press Charges’

Rape is not a political grievance, it’s a crime. Stop parading around shouting slogans and start prosecuting criminals.

Category: Feminism

Comments

136 Responses to “Blame Joan of Arc”

rsmccain
August 10th, 2013 @ 6:45 pm

@LilMissRightie My report on SlutWalk http://t.co/IkG2GniluQ
Cliffsonmonk
August 10th, 2013 @ 6:59 pm

RT @rsmccain: ” I’m the patriarchal oppressor of Amanda’s dystopian nightmares” http://t.co/IkG2GniluQ
Cliffsonmonk
August 10th, 2013 @ 6:59 pm

RT @Malvenue: & they said U’d never amount to anything! @rsmccain I’m the “patriarchal oppressor of Amanda’s dystopian nightmares” http://t…
richard mcenroe
August 10th, 2013 @ 7:02 pm

Let’s not remind her that Stacy’s a Baptist,just in DAMMIT
UnSlutProject
August 10th, 2013 @ 7:53 pm

An absolutely disgusting, sexist, hateful “report” on #slutwalk. These ppl prove feminist points FOR me. http://t.co/zZSWcDlo7f @rsmccain
EricUndefined
August 10th, 2013 @ 7:56 pm

RT @UnSlutProject: An absolutely disgusting, sexist, hateful “report” on #slutwalk. These ppl prove feminist points FOR me. http://t.co/zZS…
StopSlutShamers
August 10th, 2013 @ 7:57 pm

@rsmccain This makes me sick. #stopslutshaming http://t.co/j1lnkFWIg2
James Verpoten
August 10th, 2013 @ 7:59 pm

no no, you don’t understand, men are supposed to look at sexed up, half naked women and think, uhm, well, nothing, like looking at grass or a garbage can…
AlphaLivy
August 10th, 2013 @ 7:59 pm

RT @UnSlutProject: An absolutely disgusting, sexist, hateful “report” on #slutwalk. These ppl prove feminist points FOR me. http://t.co/zZS…
What Really Happened to Seal Team 6 and Weekend Links!
August 10th, 2013 @ 8:02 pm

[…] Other McCain has many good blog posts up including this one by Stacy on “Blame Joan of […]
br0varies
August 10th, 2013 @ 8:04 pm

RT @UnSlutProject: An absolutely disgusting, sexist, hateful “report” on #slutwalk. These ppl prove feminist points FOR me. http://t.co/zZS…
Steve Skubinna
August 10th, 2013 @ 8:08 pm

Just give them to Anthony Wiener. In a matter of moments everyone will have them.
ryandrexrawson
August 10th, 2013 @ 8:24 pm

He said Washington #slutwalk and I thought he meant Congressmen. http://t.co/sShecxTeMt
jaythenerdkid
August 10th, 2013 @ 8:42 pm

sorry but what exactly what the point of this disgusting write-up of the recent DC slut walk? http://t.co/tvkZtMLStc h/t @UnSlutProject
inkiebird
August 10th, 2013 @ 8:47 pm

RT @jaythenerdkid: sorry but what exactly what the point of this disgusting write-up of the recent DC slut walk? http://t.co/tvkZtMLStc h/t…
mtbunyan
August 10th, 2013 @ 9:20 pm

RT @jaythenerdkid: sorry but what exactly what the point of this disgusting write-up of the recent DC slut walk? http://t.co/tvkZtMLStc h/t…
richard mcenroe
August 10th, 2013 @ 9:21 pm

You know, if you haven’t recorded anything over the memory already, they’re probably recoverable. No reason. Just seems like a useful skill for a journalist to have.
At #SlutWalk, Statutory Rape Victim’s Sign Explains, ‘I Didn’t Press Charges’ UPDATE: Major Correction of Facts : The Other McCain
August 10th, 2013 @ 9:48 pm

[…] DC is understood in that spirit. Feminist ideology is dimwitted egalitarian nonsense, and if parading around with your boobs hanging out is a political statement, I’m the Duke of […]
HelgaBitter
August 10th, 2013 @ 10:54 pm

RT @UnSlutProject: An absolutely disgusting, sexist, hateful “report” on #slutwalk. These ppl prove feminist points FOR me. http://t.co/zZS…
Yes, Ma’am, However … : The Other McCain
August 10th, 2013 @ 11:43 pm

[…] my “SlutWalkDC” photos got zapped — blame Joan of Arc — but a guy named Ted Eytan got this photo of me taking a photo, so you can see that I was […]
robertstacymccain
August 10th, 2013 @ 11:56 pm

No, I’m pretty sure I irretrievably lost it. On the other hand, if somehow the data magically reappears on my wife’s camera — say in two or three weeks — she’ll freak out. So, I guess I should be grateful for St. Joan’s intervention.
richard mcenroe
August 11th, 2013 @ 12:12 am

If you want, I can dm you a couple of suggestions so you can check against either eventuality.
Iguananaut
August 11th, 2013 @ 12:51 am

http://t.co/o5eubkWVSL So @rsmccain wrote a post literally slobbering over my girlfriend’s breasts. This is the most vile disgusting ever
celineorelse
August 11th, 2013 @ 12:53 am

http://t.co/C1Z9yqWclx got “interviewed” by a total conservative troll who lost all empathy @ the sight of my nipples. He sounds like a john
celineorelse
August 11th, 2013 @ 12:54 am

RT @Iguananaut: http://t.co/o5eubkWVSL So @rsmccain wrote a post literally slobbering over my girlfriend’s breasts. This is the most vile d…
jayshre89
August 11th, 2013 @ 1:03 am

RT @UnSlutProject: An absolutely disgusting, sexist, hateful “report” on #slutwalk. These ppl prove feminist points FOR me. http://t.co/zZS…
Stogie Chomper
August 11th, 2013 @ 1:14 am

There’s something very off and weird about young women marching around half nude and yet protesting rape. Are they exhibitionists looking for a plausibly honorable reason for showing it off? Or do they just hate men and want to torture men with the forbidden fruit? “You ain’t gonna get it,” as one female singing group used to sing.

Is it a form of penis envy? Are they really thinking “I may not have a penis but I have the power to make yours ache”?

Whatever their weird motivations, there is something very sick about this.
allie
August 11th, 2013 @ 1:18 am

you’re missing the point. Attention is fine – so long as it isn’t rude and creepy (like stacy’s attention to Celine’s breasts) but what the ladies are trying to portray is yes, they may be walking around scantily clad, but it is there choice on how they dress their bodies, and they are not in any way ASKING to be raped. As they were chanting at the walk “It’s a dress, not a yes”
celineorelse
August 11th, 2013 @ 1:21 am

@AmandaMarcotte hey, a now mutual hatecquaintance wrote this about me after today’s slutwalk in DC: http://t.co/C1Z9yqWclx any advice?
robertstacymccain
August 11th, 2013 @ 1:46 am

I don’t know what they’re thinking, Stogie. They’re very angry about everything, and don’t seem to realize how abnormal their worldview is. From their perspective, a normal worldview is “hate.”

BTW, Celine’s boyfriend just slammed me on Twitter for having written “a post literally slobbering over my girlfriend’s breasts.” Figuratively, literally, what’s the difference, eh? But the really weird thing about this is … a feminist with a boyfriend?

Totally unexpected!

But this is all Joan of Arc’s fault, you see. If she hadn’t zapped my camera, I would have just posted the photo and you guys could have supplied the “slobbering” remarks in the comments.
charles w
August 11th, 2013 @ 2:09 am

Why are there so many guys there? Must be for the nookie.
fizzbang
August 11th, 2013 @ 3:59 am

It’s not that hard to understand, and it’s most certainly not about you or your penis. Even a quick internet search will tell you the origins for these marches: women are tired of being shamed for being sexual, and especially tired of that sexuality turned into justification for their abuse or objectification.

I’ll leave it to the reader why the author ignored even this fundamental piece of reporting in favor of a personal assessment of their attractiveness and creepy description of their nipples.

The entire point is that being half nude does not in any way mean that they are in favor of rape. You may want to think about why you think those two ideas would be in conflict.
fizzbang
August 11th, 2013 @ 4:00 am

No, you really don’t know what they’re thinking. Which is odd, since you talked with a couple of them and presumably had the chance to ask them.

But instead you focused more on their tits and ass.
Stogie Chomper
August 11th, 2013 @ 4:13 am

Fizzy, you must be a liberal, I can tell by the moralistic posturing and complete lack of logic. Also, your reasons for these marches are nonsensical. Women are tired of being shamed for being sexual? Yeah right, in 1950 maybe, not in 2013. They’re tired of being abused and objectified, yet here they are objectifying themselves. Well that’s really logical.

And the way to suppress rape is by titillating the male libido with female exhibitionism — yeah, that’ll work. Work to effectively demonstrate the hypocrisy and total bullshit of the marchers.

I never said they were in favor of rape, so you are refuting a position I never held. But then if you couldn’t refute positions that you invented yourself, you’d never win any arguments, would you? You arrogant asshole.
fizzbang
August 11th, 2013 @ 4:46 am

The point isn’t to titillate the male libido. Like I said, it really isn’t about you, as much as you seem to think it is.

Dressing sexily does not objectify a person – that comes from someone seeing a person and describing them purely in terms of their nipples or ass.

But the most important point of these slutwalks, which you really seem to be missing, is that rape doesn’t happen because someone is dressed sexually. But you seem to think that “female exhibitionism” encourages it.

That’s right up there with saying “they asked for it because of how they were dressed.” And that’s the problem.
herddog505
August 11th, 2013 @ 9:42 am

I’m really puzzled about this apparently wide-spread belief among women that we men go about looking for women who are asking to be raped, or that we regard tight, revealing, or otherwise provocative clothing as an invitation for us to trot out our inner Bob Filner.

Let us use the example of the scantily-clad Eliana to discuss what we DO think. I suggest that most men have one or more of the same thoughts when they look at the photo of her:

1. WOW! SHE’S SMOKIN’!

2. Where was this when *I* was in college???

3. WOW! SHE’S SMOKIN’!

4. Hang on… does her father know she’s doing this sort of thing??? Poor fellow: where did he go wrong?

5. This is silly: going out in her underwear to… um… wait a minute. What exactly IS the point in that?

6. No daughter of mine would behave in this manner, I can tell you.

7. OK, we get it: you’re hot and you know it. Vanity is not that attractive a personal trait, you know?

8. THIS is what they’re teaching in college these days??? I weep for the future of our country, I really do.

9. Did I mention, “WOW! SHE’S SMOKIN’!”?

See? No mention of anything like, “Boy, how I’d love to drag HER into a dark alley, beat the crap out of her, and violate her, ‘cuz I’m a man and that’s how we roll!” Nor, “UM-MMM! I’d love to slip a ruffie in HER drink, get her back to my place, and REALLY give her something to tell the police about!”

Contra to what these women seem to think, most men are as against rape as they are. We have mothers, wives, daughters, and female friends that we cherish and don’t want to see violated. Indeed, most of us still have some remnant of that patriarchical, Neanderthal, Victorian-Puritan-prudish impulse that tells us that it’s part of our job to protect women (it wasn’t a man who excused Roman Polanski’s disgusting violation of a twelve year-old girl by claiming, “It wasn’t ‘rape-rape'”*). If it were up to me, rape where there is no question of non-consent would be a capital offense, and the man who beats and rapes a woman would find himself bait for crows on a gallows in pretty short order.

Finally, I agree that men oughtn’t be boors, behaving towards any women who walks down the street as though she’s a performer at their favorite strip club. However, I also think that women oughtn’t display themselves like strumpets or streetwalkers.

Save the black lace lingerie for the bedroom and your husband.

===

(*) http://twitchy.com/2012/08/19/remember-when-whoopi-goldberg-referred-to-rape-rape/
Monday
August 11th, 2013 @ 10:00 am

Joan of Arc in her infinite glory came down and wiped your camera. I’m sure you didn’t even try to talk to many of these people as your understanding of the situation is literally only gawking at exposed breasts so it was only appropriate that your borderline pornographic prose doesn’t get a visual accompaniment.
Rich Vail
August 11th, 2013 @ 10:02 am

RSM, damn you for keeping the boobies from us. You sir, are selfish!

/sarcasm
Kendall
August 11th, 2013 @ 10:34 am

Wow, you truly are a worthless piece of shit with nothing to add to this world.
robertstacymccain
August 11th, 2013 @ 10:54 am

Right. Did you know that Friday I published the entire agenda of SlutWalk?

The problem is not that I mock these people. The problem is that they take themselves seriously.
Monday
August 11th, 2013 @ 11:42 am

I read the article, and I’m pretty sure the problem is that you mock these people.
Linda
August 11th, 2013 @ 11:56 am

why thanks Bob. the idea that having a “slut parade” will somehow reduce incidents of rape is ridiculous. seems the real point is to insist they can dress how they like & no one’s allowed to make judgments on them. also ridiculous. oh and spreading the idea that all men are potential rapists. now we’re past ridiculous and straight into scurrilous. ps that’s a great reply by herddog.
Kevin Cousins
August 11th, 2013 @ 3:34 pm

To quote AoSHQ, Yeah I’d tap it…3 or 4 times before calling it quits.

My wife just chimed in and said, “NO YOU WON’T!” Go figure.

Cold shower, here I come.
Aaron Kensington
August 11th, 2013 @ 5:35 pm

straight people are weird.
Aaron Kensington
August 11th, 2013 @ 5:37 pm

how come if a girl has sex with a lot of guys shes a slut, but if a guy does it hes gay?
(see what i did there?)
Aaron Kensington
August 11th, 2013 @ 5:50 pm

i think the larger point of the slutwalk, was “listen, law enforcement, (Constable Michael Sanguinetti, a Toronto Police officer, in particular) you dont get to tell me how to dress, and you especially dont get to tell me how to dress by saying “well if you dress like that youre going to get raped”

i dunno if im the only one here who has been on the internet before, but A N Y T H I N G can be sexualized (see rule 34. personally, i like guys in sweatpants)

rape is always always always the fault of the rapist. they will choose their victim for any number of reasons, known only to them.

also (although i cant find the academic research cuz my jstor doesnt work anymore) as it is with child abuse, most rapes are committed by someone the victim knows.

http://www.dps.siu.edu/cp_sexual_assault.htm#stats_on_sexual_assault
variety of statistics.
Aaron Kensington
August 11th, 2013 @ 5:53 pm

also, the US Department of Justice compiled a quick fact sheet on myths about rape, i pulled this paragraph in particular since it has proper citations.

Myth #8: Only young, pretty women are assaulted.

Fact: The belief that only young, pretty women are sexually assaulted stems from the myth that sexual assault is based on sex and physical attraction.

Sexual assault is a crime of power and control, and offenders often choose people whom they perceive as most vulnerable to attack or over whom they believe
they can assert power. Sexual assault victims come from all walks of life. They can range in age from the very old to the very young. Many victims of sexual violence are under 12. Sixty-seven percent of all victims of sexual assault reported to law enforcement agencies were
juveniles (under the age of 18); 34% of all victims were under age 12.

One of every seven victims of sexual assault reported to law enforcement agencies were under age 6. Men and boys are sexually assaulted too. Persons with disabilities are also sexually assaulted. Assumptions about the “typical” sexual assault victim may further isolate those victimized because they may feel they will not be believed if they do not share the characteristics of the stereotypical sexual assault victim. [Rennison, Callie M., Violent Victimization and Race, 1993-98,
Washington, DC: U.S. Department of Justice, Bureau of Justice
Statistics, NCJ 176354 (March 2001).]

http://www.law.georgetown.edu/campus-life/advising-counseling/personal-counseling/sarvl/general-information.cfm
Aaron Kensington
August 11th, 2013 @ 5:53 pm

that should have quotes starting with the word “myth”
Bob Belvedere
August 11th, 2013 @ 6:05 pm

Damn well put.
Bob Belvedere
August 11th, 2013 @ 6:07 pm

All Protestants are a little dense, Dianna.