Posted on | March 10, 2014 | 19 Comments
Château de Raceur
Those burdened with all manner of guilt, but most especially guilt stemming from birth to 1% parents of European extraction, are flocking to upstate New York’s famed Château de Raceur to indulge our vast range of karmic cleansing packages.
Academics, bankers, stock brokers, venture capitalists, union leaders, and civil servants flock to our rural setting, modeled after Long Island’s Sylvester Manor
, an interesting piece of history that is far too conveniently forgotten in the rush to pour hatred on the South.
We’re located just up the Hudson from another institution people go to purge themselves, the U.S. Military Academy at West Point
De Raceur has been in operation since 2009, and ensures its visitors get serviced year-round. While other agriculturally oriented venues might pare back operations during winter, we find that harsh conditions enhance our product.
De Raceur features a fully functional, pre-Civil War plantation. That means that it amounts to a subsistence farming village, with all of the argicultural and light industry trappings. Visitors arrive and, after a legal briefing, sign a waver that permits our Karmic Cleansing Consultants to offer support that might otherwise appear to violate their Constitutional rights.
We live in an era of guilt. After allowing Godless Commies like Howard Zinn to sodomize American history, our elite are now awash in externally imposed feelings of culpability for events of prior centuries. Never mind the good that the United States has done historically, continues to do today, and will do for humanity in the future. No: here at de Raceur, the glass is always half empty.
|“Having my teeth loosened by a hulking minority for looking directly at him really helped me deal with issues pertaining to my high station in society.”
|“De Raceur both revealed and relieved unknown vistas of guilt I had been harboring as a member of the partiarchal oppressors.”
Federal Deputy Assistant Sub-Undersecretary for Affordable Care Act Aromatherapy Policy
|“They hated me; they hated my face. And by swimming the seas of hatred, and with time to recuperate from the floggings, I at last found an island of peace, despite the fact that I come from a long line of Baptist preachers.”
|“It was like my karma hit some large dogma, and the radiator was wheezing like anathema sufferer, ya know? So they make me a share cropper for a while, get it? I totally got rid of any bad feelings about doing my job supporting the Democratic Party and skimming money from honest workers. And that’s how de Raceur prepared me to head down South and pull in some new suckers in the name of doin’ them a solid.”
Antonia “Toni the Slicing Hammer” Jabruzzi
United Auto Workers Capture Leader
Come to Château de Raceur, and let us assuage your guilt
Update: I stand accused of plagiarism for using the four mug shots from The Onion, while only linking, and not explicitly crediting the source. My degenerate crapsack of an accuser seems less worried about the NYU pic at the top of the post, but I didn’t take that one myself, either.
I deeply regret any reader confusion as to whether the non-verbal content of this post, which I did not initially credit to my name, and on which I have made exactly $0.0, was my personal product. I don’t think any “reasonable” people are in any way taken in by the content of this post, verbally or photographically. It is intended as a humorous jibe at precisely the sort of degenerate twit I’m dealing with on Slashdot. If you have a moment, please feel free to navigate to Slashdot and tell damn_registrars that, when you’re so jacked up as to make Rachel Maddow seem a straight shooter, you know you’ve got issues.