The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

What Were They Thinking?

Posted on | July 11, 2014 | 55 Comments

Why would the editors of Esquire assign Tom Junod — or anybody else, for that matter — to write “In Praise of 42-Year-Old Women”? And, having made that assignment, why would they not demand a re-write after he turned in a horrifying mess that begins thus:

Let’s face it: There used to be something tragic about even the most beautiful forty-two-year-old woman. With half her life still ahead of her, she was deemed to be at the end of something — namely, everything society valued in her, other than her success as a mother. If she remained sexual, she was either predatory or desperate; if she remained beautiful, what gave her beauty force was the fact of its fading. And if she remained alone … well, then God help her.

What is the purpose of publishing this? Never mind. Here’s some advice for magazine publishers everywhere: Before you assign or publish an article, ask yourself, “Will this article be more enjoyable than the Gawker blog post viciously mocking the article?”

Tom Junod, according to Wikipedia, was born in the Eisenhower Administration, and is currently either 55 or 56 years old. Nevertheless, Tom Junod is gracious enough to admit he’s capable of wanting to f–k women who are within 13 or 14 years of his own age.
I, myself, by coincidence, am 42 years old right now. But I am male. As such, I would like to follow Tom Junod’s lead and reassure all the 28-year-old women of the world that I do not believe their advanced years should render them sexually unattractive to me.

Read the whole thing — the Gawker piece, I mean, not the Esquire article.

 

Comments

55 Responses to “What Were They Thinking?”

  1. Evi L. Bloggerlady
    July 11th, 2014 @ 9:05 am

    That is mighty big of Tom Junod to say he would consider having sex with Sofia Vergara…

  2. Esquire: Hey 42 year old women are not yet past their sell by date and can still be funny and hot! | Batshit Crazy News
    July 11th, 2014 @ 9:09 am

    […] TOM notes how Esquire attempts to do a Rule 5 on women in their early forties… and then get mocked by Gawker […]

  3. Phil_McG
    July 11th, 2014 @ 9:26 am

    Poor Tom. He was trying to say something nice, but was a little bit too honest.

    What he should’ve done is couch this in feminist terms: mature sisters are doing it for themselves! Take that, Hollywood! 40 is fabulous! More roles for older women! Etc.

    But he had to go and put his big male foot in his mouth by suggesting men don’t generally lust after middle aged women, but if they take care of themselves they can still be attractive. Silly Tom.

    At least he didn’t use the term “thinspiration”, it’s one thing to offend 40-something women, quite another to upset the fat feminist jihad.

  4. Gunga
    July 11th, 2014 @ 9:45 am

    Esquire…a magazine written by obnoxious mostly-youngish twits as a guide to even younger obnoxious twit-wannabees who suffer under the delusion that reading a magazine can make you cool. The real hit piece in this edition is: “Lost Drink Recipe Found! – If your Manhattan doesn’t include aged parsnip nectar, it isn’t a real Manhattan!” Have they ever had a single issue that didn’t include a, “Who would ya do/who have you done” article? Seriously, if Alec Baldwin or George Clooney had said it in the same venue, the wags would be calling him a crusader for older women… My only real point…is clearly at the top of my head…

  5. richard mcenroe
    July 11th, 2014 @ 10:08 am

    let’s face it, Raquel Welch looks better now than Lena Dunham will ever look…

  6. pabarge
    July 11th, 2014 @ 10:13 am

    Did you overlook the fact that this is basically one dick journalist dicking over another journalist dick?

    In other words, who cares?

  7. ThePaganTemple
    July 11th, 2014 @ 10:16 am

    Hey, that’s almost as much fun as Peter picked a peck of pickled peppers.

  8. ThePaganTemple
    July 11th, 2014 @ 10:19 am

    Well, when I was about ten years old, I wrote a childish “love” letter to Racquel Welcch, professing my love and my lust in schoolboy terms. No, it was not in crayon, but by God it was in pencil. And for my efforts I received an autographed pic of my heroin, standing on a rocky beach in a semi- see-through negligee of some sort.,

    Of course, she is much older now, so would I write that same letter to her now?

    Well, no, I don’t believe I would.

  9. Evi L. Bloggerlady
    July 11th, 2014 @ 10:24 am

    To get the photo alone would be worth it!

  10. Phil_McG
    July 11th, 2014 @ 10:27 am

    I saw a picture of Chelsea Clinton recently and thought it was a promotional picture from the reboot of Nosferatu.

    OTOH, Sarah Palin is almost old enough to be my mother, but I can’t help noticing she is one exceptionally fine looking lady.

  11. What Were They Thinking? | That Mr. G Guy's Blog
    July 11th, 2014 @ 10:29 am

    […] What Were They Thinking?. […]

  12. Quartermaster
    July 11th, 2014 @ 10:34 am

    You ageist dog (yes I know your avatar is a Puddy Tat).

  13. Phil_McG
    July 11th, 2014 @ 10:35 am

    What would you write to her today?

  14. Quartermaster
    July 11th, 2014 @ 10:37 am

    You’re overthinking this and ascribing something to them we know as intelligence to a preening fool. It takes no thought whatever to realize that the reason he wrote the trash, and Esquire published it is to show he is a preening fool and the Editors of Esquire are also preening fools. They have simply been kind enough to show us so that we won’t be under any illusions as to what they are. Not that we needed such proof mind you, but there are plenty of Low Info types out there who do need such documentation.

  15. CrustyB
    July 11th, 2014 @ 10:43 am

    It seems like feminists, pro-abortionists, homosexuals and the like don’t have a problem with so-called sexists, racists, bigots, etc. They have a problem with nature. They just take out their childish rage on us because they can’t call nature a motherf*&ker.

  16. Phil_McG
    July 11th, 2014 @ 10:46 am

    Sofia Viagra

  17. ThePaganTemple
    July 11th, 2014 @ 10:56 am

    If I was to write the same letter today it would be more likely to get me a court summons.

  18. ThePaganTemple
    July 11th, 2014 @ 10:57 am

    haha I sure wouldn’t say the things I said in that letter. It was pretty obscene. I told her all the things I would like to do to her lol.

  19. ThePaganTemple
    July 11th, 2014 @ 10:58 am

    According to a friend of mine who waited on her, she’s actually still very beautiful.

  20. Phil_McG
    July 11th, 2014 @ 10:58 am

    #rapeculture

  21. M. Thompson
    July 11th, 2014 @ 11:13 am

    They weren’t.

    They let a fool fire something off with out reading it and got smacked by Gawker for being foolish. And Gawker isn’t much more than internet vultures.

  22. richard mcenroe
    July 11th, 2014 @ 11:25 am

    Lost your pencil?

  23. richard mcenroe
    July 11th, 2014 @ 11:26 am

    You’ve got to pace your restraining orders so they don’t overlap and you don’t get those awkward scheduling conflicts.

    Finding out Penelope Cruz had a sister absolutely screwed my calendar.

  24. richard mcenroe
    July 11th, 2014 @ 11:27 am

    Who can put your head on the mantelpiece from 600 yards so be polite.

  25. Phil_McG
    July 11th, 2014 @ 11:37 am

    That’s part of her charm. She’s beautiful, conservative, and can shoot… what a woman.

  26. Quartermaster
    July 11th, 2014 @ 11:55 am

    You siiiick!

  27. Quartermaster
    July 11th, 2014 @ 11:56 am

    Vultures, however, do serve a function in the scheme of things.

  28. Quartermaster
    July 11th, 2014 @ 11:59 am

    I saw a recent pic of her somewhere this spring and she does still look nice. However, I still prefer my 60 yo bride who still looks pretty good to me.

  29. Quartermaster
    July 11th, 2014 @ 12:00 pm

    So, you were a reprobate already at 10?

  30. kathykattenburg
    July 11th, 2014 @ 12:34 pm

    Finally, we agree on something. All I can add to what you wrote, Stacy, is AMEN.

  31. Phil_McG
    July 11th, 2014 @ 12:38 pm

    APERSON, surely?

  32. kathykattenburg
    July 11th, 2014 @ 12:42 pm

    Having read a couple of your comments, Phil McG, I would say no you’re not.

  33. Quartermaster
    July 11th, 2014 @ 1:37 pm

    His mother probably confiscated it.

  34. Quartermaster
    July 11th, 2014 @ 1:38 pm

    In guess that’ll be the one for the year.

  35. kathykattenburg
    July 11th, 2014 @ 1:44 pm

    I’d say you’re probably right about that.

  36. Phil_McG
    July 11th, 2014 @ 1:57 pm

    That’s racist.

  37. kathykattenburg
    July 11th, 2014 @ 1:59 pm

    LOL

  38. K-Bob
    July 11th, 2014 @ 3:22 pm

    He’s been practicin’ with the blowup doll all week.

  39. K-Bob
    July 11th, 2014 @ 3:29 pm
  40. Conservatronic
    July 11th, 2014 @ 4:12 pm

    Esquire is a brand circling the drain. The print edition is apparently aimed at slightly wealthy white metrosexuals who need constant reassurance of their masculinity. The new TV “network” consists of a couple of decent but unspectacular travel shows and a bunch of re-runs.

  41. ThePaganTemple
    July 11th, 2014 @ 5:03 pm

    It was about the time Myra Breckinridhe came out. I may have been closet to twelve and approaching puberty. I remember thinking she was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen.

  42. ThePaganTemple
    July 11th, 2014 @ 5:05 pm

    She didn’t even know I’d sent the letter until the pin-up come in the mail, and naturally I didn’t tell her or my dad what I’d written. Haha good times.

  43. Quartermaster
    July 11th, 2014 @ 8:04 pm

    And, if they knew what you said, would they have washed hand with soap? 🙂

  44. Charles G. Hill
    July 11th, 2014 @ 11:01 pm

    Reminds me of the time John Derbyshire wrote off Jennifer Aniston, then 36, for being well past her salad days. Apparently men of A Certain Age are supposed to declare a line, or something. You’ll pardon me if I decline.

  45. Bob Belvedere
    July 11th, 2014 @ 11:24 pm

    This bit of dialogue from The Last Waltz, between members of The Band, has always inspired me:

    Rick Danko: Since the beginning, since we started playing together, just like we’ve all grown just a little bit, so have the women.

    You know? And it’s amazing.

    Levon Helm: That’s right. That’s good.

  46. Bob Belvedere
    July 11th, 2014 @ 11:26 pm

    I would. She still looks great.

  47. Bob Belvedere
    July 11th, 2014 @ 11:31 pm
  48. K-Bob
    July 12th, 2014 @ 7:08 am

    Well, the braces kept her teeth straight, at least.

  49. Mr. B
    July 12th, 2014 @ 11:57 am

    I would consider it as well. For about 2 seconds.

  50. Mr. B
    July 12th, 2014 @ 12:03 pm

    The real point in all of this is that Stacy was right. The Gawker article was more entertaining than the Esquire article. Although I did have to ask a female Twitter follower of mine if she could help me makes sense of it.

    Okay, I really just wanted an excuse to engage her in a conversation about sex. Thanks Gawker!