Fat Feminist: ‘Stop Staring at Me!’

Posted on | August 26, 2014 | 76 Comments

Erin McKelle Fischer (@ErinMcKelle) is a Women, Gender and Sexuality Studies major at Ohio University we’ve encountered a few times previously. She has expressed hostility toward “penis-in-vagina sex” and the “norm” of heterosexuality. In June, we took note of her column about “the very real struggles that young feminists face.” Now she has another “very real struggle” to share with us:

Talk about calling in fire on your own map coordinates, huh? Let’s see what Erin has to say about this Important Feminist Issue:

I’m also a body image and fat positive activist, which basically means that I don’t believe there is anything inherently wrong or bad about being fat. In fact, I love being fat.
Since I enjoy wearing a lot of clothing that reveals my skin and shows off my body, like crop tops, short skirts and shorts, bikinis, leggings and tight dresses, I have to deal with a lot of backlash. Because god forbid a fat woman likes the way she looks and lets the world know it.
Because fat girls aren’t supposed to take pleasure in our bodies or even consider showing other people what they look like, there is a lot of sh*t that can hit the fan. Mostly caused by other people not knowing how to handle someone as sexy as me owning it.
The good news is that the fat positive movement is starting to take off and people are starting to notice. The #fatkini hashtag has gone viral on Twitter, plus sizes are starting to be sold in the stores of hip and trendy retailers like Forever 21 and H&M, and fat is starting to lose some of it’s stigma as a bad word. We’re making progress.
Despite this, though, some people really need to get an education in how to treat fat girls who like to show off our curves some respect. . . .
If you’re offended by me showing my stomach or the way my thighs jiggle, you need to f*ck off. My body is my own and no one has the right to tell me what to do with it. Period.
Boohoo, you have to look at a fat woman’s body. . . .
The most common reaction I get from others when I wear revealing clothing are stares. Some people will sort of roll their eyes or look disgusted; others will just stare as if I’m some kind of art exhibit at a museum. Either way, there are a lot of stares.
Look, I understand that I’m challenging your views on fat womanhood and forcing you to question your beliefs and attitudes, but keep this contemplation to yourself. Yes, I do notice when you’re looking. Yes, it does make me feel uncomfortable.
I’m not some sort of object to be admired; I’m a human being first and foremost. Respect my right to choose to be fabulous and move it along. . . .
You might have the urge to shame me for daring to own my sexiness as a fat girl, or you may even want to compliment me for my taste. But either way, I really don’t want to hear about it. . . .

You can read the whole thing. I cringe in anticipation of the rude things commenters will say about Erin’s “sexiness as a fat girl.”

Feminists: Why do you keep making my job so easy, huh? https://t.co/2Eg1CJxTnC

— Robert Stacy McCain (@rsmccain) August 26, 2014

Lots of fat phobia on my latest huffpo article. To all of the haters, you can kindly fuck off.

— Erin McKelle (@ErinMcKelle) August 25, 2014

Category: Feminism

Comments

76 Responses to “Fat Feminist: ‘Stop Staring at Me!’”

AMartel
August 26th, 2014 @ 8:10 pm

hey man at least she’s got her shirt on.
AMartel
August 26th, 2014 @ 8:12 pm

I was going to mention something about small favors and being grateful for same but then … I DIDN’T.
Quartermaster
August 26th, 2014 @ 8:17 pm

She’s ugly too. And not just physically.
M. Thompson
August 26th, 2014 @ 8:20 pm

Miss, you’d only get the most foolish A-gangers at the Horse and Cow.

Not even Bremeloes and Grotomotopi try and rationalize their behavior. It just makes you a pathetic pseudointellectual.

My most honest advice: dress to accentuate what you have, not what fits on the tiny little things.
John Bradley
August 26th, 2014 @ 8:24 pm

The bigger the cushion, the better the… err… heteronormative PIV rape-act.
robertstacymccain
August 26th, 2014 @ 8:30 pm

Sir Mix-a-Lot just called. He said, “No way. Uh-uh. Too much for me.”
dwduck
August 26th, 2014 @ 8:32 pm

Ain’t nothing hetero about her normative.
RS
August 26th, 2014 @ 8:33 pm

I’m also a body image and fat positive activist . . .

From R.S. McCain’s new book, Crap Not To Put On Your Curriculum Vitae.
TiminAL
August 26th, 2014 @ 8:34 pm

Somebody needs to out a Backup Alarm on that ass. For the chirrens.
RS
August 26th, 2014 @ 8:35 pm

Good grief. I haven’t even finished the post, and I’m up to two comments.

Mostly caused by other people not knowing how to handle someone as sexy as me owning it.

Um, point of order. I don’t think that’s quite it.
maniakmedic
August 26th, 2014 @ 8:40 pm

You know, I will fully admit to not understanding being ok with being fat. Granted, I lucked out a bit genetically as I have a naturally thin torso, but that is offset by the fact that if I gain any weight, my thighs and ass balloon up and I look very unbalanced. I swore up and down I would never be one of those fat out of shape sergeants I saw all the time, then I packed on 20 lbs and pretty much became one. I have since done something about it and, while I still have a ways to go, I’m pretty darn happy with the effects of the hard – and oftentimes painful and slow – work I’ve put in.

It’s one thing to be fat and healthy; a Utah sumo wrestler has run at least one marathon – at 400 lbs – and he’s currently training to swim across Bear Lake twice and then the English Channel. Props to him for finding ways to be both big and healthy. While aesthetically speaking, I’m not attracted to fat at all, I can certainly appreciate big people who are healthy.

It’s a completely different thing to be fat and out of shape and then to call attention to the fact that you are fat, followed by you freaking out about people noticing you are fat.

I would also like to point out that, while I’m no fashion maven, I do know enough about clothing to undestand a couple of things: one, horizontal stripes are a no-no, especially for large people; and two, spandex – and anything related to it – is a privilege, not a right. Certain clothes work well for certain body types (this is also true for guys). There are clothes I would love to be able to wear but they don’t look good on me so I stick with what does. Because it makes me feel better knowing that I’m putting the best version of how I look out there.

I think if somebody is happy with how they look, I don’t have a leg to stand on criticizing them. That being said, if you have to write a HuffPo article proclaiming how much you love your body and telling people to fuck off for not being thrilled to see your XXL muffin top, you clearly are not happy with your body but are too lazy to do the work to turn it into a body you are happy with (and it is work; anybody who tells you it isn’t is a liar. I’ve been a gym rat for a couple of years now – really seriously for the last 6 months or so – and it’s still a struggle much of the time to get motivated because it’s a slow process to build strength. What keeps me going is noticing seemingly small improvements and remembering that I couldn’t do some pretty simple things before that I can do now).
RS
August 26th, 2014 @ 8:45 pm

In this corner we have:

I don’t believe there is anything inherently wrong or bad about being fat . . . I enjoy wearing a lot of clothing that reveals my skin and shows off my body. . .

While in the opposing corner, we have:

I’m not some sort of object to be admired; I’m a human being first and foremost.

While I’m sure most of would agree this young lady is not an object to be admired, may I inquire as to how she proposes to “show off” her body without being actually seen? Is she trying to formulate a new Zen koan on the order of “one hand clapping?”
Mike G.
August 26th, 2014 @ 8:51 pm

Most women…99% of them…don’t want to be fat, but by the same token, they don’t want to be skinny anorexic bitches either.
M. Thompson
August 26th, 2014 @ 8:53 pm

What about Smalls, Tuffnel, and St. Hubbins?
Zohydro
August 26th, 2014 @ 8:57 pm

I shouldn’t have read this… I am overcome with a veritable proustian flood of every ‘yo mama’ joke I ever heard!
ChandlersGhost
August 26th, 2014 @ 9:07 pm

Anyone else reminded of this?
concern00
August 26th, 2014 @ 9:24 pm

I feel that I have a right to be offended by these simulacra of beached whales and that all you haters should f-k off. I’m the victim here.
RS
August 26th, 2014 @ 9:28 pm

It’s a matter of self-respect. There are many, many people–the vast majority in fact–who do not possess the ideal Madison Avenue body type. So what? The vast majority of those know what’s flattering and what’s not. If one truly is content with one’s own body, one will not take pains to display it in a manner which is unattractive. People such as Ms. McKelle in reality hate themselves. They dress the way they do in order to get the reaction they get: disgust. This reaction then validates their own feelings of self-hatred. “See, I know I’m an ugly person–inside and out–and everybody who sees me agrees with me.”

Very sad, all jokes notwithstanding.
Guest
August 26th, 2014 @ 9:30 pm

Can’t say I have a problem with most of what she says. She does have a right to wear what she wants and comment about her girth are rather a bore. She’s fat? So what?
aliswell
August 26th, 2014 @ 9:32 pm

My dear Erin McFail, you’re not “challenging” my “views on fat womanhood and forcing” me “to question” my “beliefs and attitudes.”

You’re just challenging me to keep my lunch down and forcing me to question the wisdom of getting lasik eye surgery last month.
ajpwriter
August 26th, 2014 @ 9:38 pm

1. Wear clothing that reveals exactly how fat you are.
2. Make numerous public announcements about how proud you are of how fat you are.
3. Cultivate severe hypersensitivity about people noticing how fat you are.
4. ????????????
5. FEMINIST OF THE YEAR!
Art Deco
August 26th, 2014 @ 9:41 pm

Ye Gods what a ruin.

The trouble in a nutshell:

1. This dame is seriously disoriented, likely by the very real problems which attend coping with certain social disabilities;

2. There is no one with a modicum of wisdom to help get her head screwed on straight; or

3. She assiduously refuses to listen to those who are there to help; and

4. She’s getting positive feedback from faculty trolls for thinking and acting like a troll-in-training.

5. The solution: in 1963, Ted Turner elected at Brown University to major in classics. After having informed his parents, he received a letter from his father which incorporated this assessment: “I fear you are rapidly becoming a jackass, and the sooner you get out of that filthy environment, the better”. He was compelled to return home and his father began teaching him the outdoor advertising business. This girl needs to learn a proper trade.
Delaney Coffer
August 26th, 2014 @ 9:43 pm

Fat phobia? Holy shit.

Remember the picture of the dude that got his face eaten off by a bear but survived? The pictures were gruesome…to those who are face eaten off by a grizzly bear phobic.
DeadMessenger
August 26th, 2014 @ 10:21 pm

It doesn’t matter what you look like, you simply will not have credibility in pretty much anything you do unless you market yourself appropriately. Saying “people shouldn’t treat other people badly because of how they look or dress” – even though it’s true – is stupid, because they’re going to, whether it’s wrong or not.

If Erin were to return her hair to its natural color, which is guaranteed to look good with her skin tone, grow her hair out to shoulder-length with some long layers cut into it, then get herself a hip length tee worn with a similar length blazer and some slacks that fit correctly, she could actually look attractive and professional. People would be more apt to actually listen to her poorly-thought-out rantings, instead of focusing in the fact that she looks like a fat street walker. Hell, if people started taking her seriously, she might even start thinking things through before she commits them to the digital universe.
K-Bob
August 26th, 2014 @ 10:40 pm

I confess a trepidation or two.
McGehee
August 26th, 2014 @ 10:40 pm

It’s not her girth I find repulsive, but there’s no point saying what it is because she’s already decided her idiotic ideas, abrasive personality and victim fetish are all caused by some third-grade classmate’s rude comments about her size.
K-Bob
August 26th, 2014 @ 10:44 pm

Heterodyne effects due to gravitational distortion of light?
K-Bob
August 26th, 2014 @ 10:44 pm

Talk about bum cakes
Wombat_socho
August 26th, 2014 @ 11:09 pm

Logic is a tool of the patriarchy, dontcha know.
Wombat_socho
August 26th, 2014 @ 11:09 pm

So for you, esthetics are meaningless?
Mal
August 26th, 2014 @ 11:19 pm

Who cares if she’s fat? She’s ugly.
And, I’m not actually referring to her face.
Mal
August 26th, 2014 @ 11:22 pm

Sorry, Quartermaster; I didn’t notice your comment until now. I wrote, substantially, the same thing as you.
M. Thompson
August 26th, 2014 @ 11:34 pm
MattRoss
August 27th, 2014 @ 12:17 am

I kinda pity her. She’s taken her outward appearance, added extra bitterness, and became a blob of hate.
Nan
August 27th, 2014 @ 12:21 am

I laughed so hard when I read that!
Nan
August 27th, 2014 @ 12:24 am

I don’t think it’s even the top she’s wearing in the picture that looks so bad although the ones with the built-in bra look better. She’s not terribly attractive to begin with and the attitude doesn’t help.
Nan
August 27th, 2014 @ 12:42 am

I’m a fat girl with self-respect. It’s possible to dress attractively and be fat; it can be challenging in many ways. A lot of plus size clothing seems to be made for cross-dressers because it would only fit really tall people. Some things just don’t fit me. And being a firm believer in clothing, there are things that simply don’t have enough coverage for me. I tend to wear t-shirts with one of about 10 of the same pair of pants since they fit me, topped with a print cardigan, which may or may not be buttoned.

I do agree with the below poster who said that spandex is a privilege, not a right.
edge_of_the_sandbox
August 27th, 2014 @ 1:15 am

She was born wrong skin color. What she should really focus on is getting the taxpayer or the insurance provider to correct it.
TroubleAtTheMine
August 27th, 2014 @ 1:35 am

It’s funny how the my-face-is-up-here crowd always has their tatas out.

Betcha she’s really mean to skinny, pretty girls.
Daniel Freeman
August 27th, 2014 @ 1:54 am

Yes and no. I bet that her face gets this really tight expression, like the photo but angrier, and she flounces passive-aggressively, silently daring them to say anything that she could go off on them for.
Daniel Freeman
August 27th, 2014 @ 1:59 am

Marcel didn’t keep his thoughts to himself. I’m not sayin’ it’s a good idea, I’m just sayin’.
Zeb Quinn
August 27th, 2014 @ 2:33 am

I sense she may be a tad on the lazy side that way.
Quartermaster
August 27th, 2014 @ 7:47 am

Deep Gravity wells will bend light. General Relativity sez so.
Quartermaster
August 27th, 2014 @ 7:52 am

Or 3 for me. A substantial rifle would be my desire if I had to go into Ursus Horibilis country.
Art Deco
August 27th, 2014 @ 8:45 am

Re her grooming. The woman’s making the worst of a bad situation. Her clothes and her haircut are wretched.

Weight problems are always a challenge and most fail at it. This woman shows how it’s done

http://www.aliexpress.com/item/fat-women-plus-Size-Women-dress-Autumn-Winter-Basic-Shirt-big-Size-Tops-Ladies-Short-Sleeve/1213073414.html?

http://www.aliexpress.com/item/Fashion-Plus-Size-Summer-T-Shirt-Fat-Women-Blouse-2013-Korean-Batwing-Sleeve-Female-Large-Big/1210776938.html?
texlovera
August 27th, 2014 @ 9:14 am

DING DING DING….
Jeanette Victoria
August 27th, 2014 @ 9:43 am

A kind happy expression can make anyone attractive. She looks mean and unhappy; a sane NORMAL would advoid her
Guest
August 27th, 2014 @ 9:44 am

Here we go:
Dana
August 27th, 2014 @ 10:13 am

She isn’t complaining that people are looking at her; she’s complaining that many people who look at her don’t find her appearance particularly pleasing. She’s all for the judgement of other people, as long as their judgement agrees with hers. As soon as it doesn’t, she’s offended.
Dianna Deeley
August 27th, 2014 @ 10:13 am

If she is “owning” her fat, wearing revealing clothing, and views herself as sexy, doesn’t she want people to stare? I mean, there’s some dissonance there.