The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

Bad Christianity, Worse Atheism

Posted on | March 4, 2015 | 174 Comments

“Especially important is the warning to avoid conversations with the demon. . . . He is a liar. The demon is a liar. He will lie to confuse us. But he will also mix lies with the truth to attack us. The attack is psychological, Damien, and powerful. So don’t listen to him. Remember that — do not listen.”
The Exorcist (1973)

“Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers, Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, Without understanding, covenantbreakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful: Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.”
Romans 1:29-32 (KJV)

It bothers me only a little to admit that a lot of modern Christian writing is wretched and unhelpful when it comes to relationships. The Gospel of Niceness, as I call it, tends to produce a saccharine G-rated rhetoric that isn’t much help to people dealing with the unmitigated horrors of modern life. There are people out there traumatized by what they’ve lived through and terrified by the world around them, and the saccharine G-rated Gospel of Niceness does not speak in a language that all these hopelessly broken people can understand.

What happens, not surprisingly, is that these broken people reject Christianity because (a) the church isn’t talking to them in a language that helps, and (b) the sin-filled world talks to them in a language they understand, even if it doesn’t actually help. All of this is preamble to one of the most Satanic tales I’ve encountered during my research into radical feminism. (You have bought a copy of my book, right?) What happened was that I was searching for “heteronormativity” and found “When heteronormativity means there are no other options”:

When you’re growing up in conservative Christian purity culture, your relationship options are limited. True, there are a variety of beliefs on the rules for relationships; some communities reinforce courtship, others have very stringent rules about what is acceptable behavior at different stages of relationships. But within those muddy waters of relationship rules, purity culture has the same constant: save sex for your heterosexual marriage, and marry for life.
The ideal relationship is something you’re supposed to strive for. The image of a beautiful heterosexual couple, smiling and in love, telling their story of first romance, first kisses till death do they part, is a powerful one. That’s the success story. If you can find romance once, only “give your heart away” once, and for a lifetime, you have won the game.
And while this idealized image doesn’t have the same high standards in the rest of American culture, it still exists: heterosexual marriage, for life, is one of the marks of adulthood, of success and maturity. …
When I was a Christian, I was the kind of repressed queer person that didn’t allow myself any other options. . . .

Hmmm. Check the sidebar profile:

This blog has a generalized trigger warning for discussions of sexual, physical, mental, and spiritual abuse.
Tor is a queer apostate survivor of abuse.
Pronouns are “they/them”
They live in Oregon, and are currently working on a book about their experiences with abuse, Christianity, and their dealings with trauma.

“They” is actually a she, but this is a minor quibble, because up there on the top bar of her blog is “My Story,” and a thoroughly horrifying story it is. “Generalized trigger warning,” indeed. There is just no way the G-rated saccharine Gospel of Niceness can address Tor’s life experience.

She describes being raped at age 9 by her brother who was then 15. This brother subsequently was prosecuted for another sex crime (he is a registered sex offender) and, because of the hostility between Tor and her brother, Tor is alienated from her family, to say nothing of Tor’s queer apostasy. Here, go read this part of Tor’s story. (“Generalized trigger warning.”) You’re going to need something a whole lot stronger than the Gospel of Niceness to help somebody like Tor.

The passage from Paul’s epistle to the Romans quoted at the top of this post is part of a longer sequence that is most famous for verses 26-27, but I like the way it concludes in verses 29-32 because there, tucked away amid that grocery list of heinous evil is “disobedient to parents.” Sometimes I point that out to my kids, when I need to remind them that they are also Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God.

The Gospel of Niceness too seldom reminds kids of that, as if kids are too stupid to look around them and notice the evil that other kids do. Or to look in the mirror and recognize that, yes, they are sinners, too. Because I was a notoriously bad kid — in the old days, before “self-esteem,” teachers didn’t mince words about bad kids like me — I was never under any illusion about my sinful condition. I was a natural-born “behavior problem” if ever there was one. Thank God they hadn’t come up with the diagnosis ADHD back then, or I’d have been doped up on Ritalin by age 4. As it was, paddling was the main form of “therapy” administered by the education system, and I know I thoroughly deserved every one.

Anyway, I was reading another post of Tor’s called “The demon of demon paranoia,” in which she scornfully dismisses a pastor:

I define my childhood religion as a bit of Baptist legalism, mixed with Penecostal Holy Spiritism, a smattering of evangelical culture, all under the belief that God is some kind of magical genie who directs and takes care of every little thing we do.
When we moved up to the area we live now, we started attending a nearby Foursquare church. The pastor was an arrogant, hard preacher . . .
His biggest hang up was demons. I first heard of Frank Peretti’s book This Present Darkness from him, and he considered the book Biblical. He had pamphlets on the demonic in the church office; he spoke out against the evils of Halloween and trick-or-treating. My mom already had some fear of demons being everywhere, had already stopped letting my brothers go trick-or-treating the year I was two, and she very easily was sucked into this pastor’s paranoia.

Evil is real, Tor. You might not like the way this “arrogant, hard preacher” dwelled on the subject of demons, but certainly you cannot deny that evil is real. And ask yourself this: Considering what you went through in your childhood, was your mother’s “fear of demons being everywhere” irrational? Was it not the case that there was evil in your home? And isn’t it possible that, providentially, God sent this preacher to your community to warn about demons that were actually there?

People laugh at me for believing in the reality of evil, but I’ve seen evil with my own eyes. Sure, maybe you don’t believe that evil is supernatural. Maybe you can explain all the evil in the world according to “science so called,” but am I the only one who notices that certain biblical prophecies about the proliferation of evil seem to be coming true in the 21st century? There are no accidents, Tor. It wasn’t an accident that I found your blog, and read your description of your condition:

You know what? I am a sexual abuse victim. Of course things suck. Of course everything is hard, and nothing is right.  . . .
But you know what? I don’t owe the world my healing. I don’t owe it to anyone to make them feel better about what happened to me. . . .
I’m fucked up. I’m self-destructive, I’m fearful . . .On the days when God still gets back into my head I look at how perfectly everything lined up for my destruction and think God wants me to die. I’m fucked up to a level I don’t even talk about. I have coping mechanisms I have never heard anyone ever talk about. And maybe they’re like me; too shameful to talk about. Or maybe it’s me; alone in this sea of oh my god how fucked up am I.

No, you’re not alone, but God doesn’t want you to die, either. While it would be presumptuous for me to claim to know what God wants for your life, the fact that you wrote that in 2011 and are still alive today tells me that you are alive for a reason. There are no accidents, Tor. Whom God would destroy, no man can save; whom God would save, no man can destroy. Therefore, your existence — even as a self-declared “queer apostate” — must serve some purpose in the divine plan, if only to wake up those Christians who think the Gospel of Niceness is sufficient to help someone who is “fucked up to a level I don’t even talk about.”

When you notice the trackback to your blog and read what I’ve written, you’ll probably hate me, Tor, and that’s OK. But let me ask you, what do you think the odds were that (a) I’d be crazy enough to write a book on radical feminism, (b) that this research would lead me to your blog by searching for “heteronormativity” and (c) rather than dismissing you as just another crazy feminist, I’d actually take time to read your story and recognize your unique value? The odds against this sequence of events have got to be a million-to-one, but it happened.

There are no accidents, God exists and, yes, evil is very real. Here’s the end of your post about demons:

I still am afraid of mirrors (mostly when it’s dark), I still see silhouettes when my sleep schedule gets too erratic. I still have nights where I’m awake for hours with the most horrible sense of my own guilt, afraid that demons have taken hold of me, and God hates me, and I am the worst sinner in the world. Fear pervades my life, I live under the weight of nightmares, flashbacks, and body memories, and a constant sense of foreboding, all because of this. Those are my “demons” now.

Let me repeat something I wrote in January:

Satan is the Father of Lies (John 8:43-45). Satan is the false accuser (Revelation 12:9-11). Satan constantly tells us lies about ourselves and lies about God. If you listen to that satanic voice, you will drive yourself crazy, because the lies are contradictory. Satan will tell you whatever you want to believe, whatever it takes to destroy you. Satan will tell you that your sins are so wicked that God cannot possibly love you. Then Satan will tell you there is no such thing as sin. Satan will tell you that good is evil, and evil is good, and that you should do evil because that will make you happier than doing good. Most of all, Satan tells us to reject God’s law, to instead make our own judgment of right and wrong.
This was the original lie of history: “Ye shall be as gods!”

Satan hasn’t changed at all. It’s still the same old lies — the demonic voice of the false accuser who wants to destroy us.

You survived, Tor. You survived for a reason. The voice in your head telling you that God hates you? Don’t listen to that voice.

 

Comments

174 Responses to “Bad Christianity, Worse Atheism”

  1. DeadMessenger
    March 4th, 2015 @ 8:48 pm

    What you say is 100% true, sir. Proverbs 16:33 (NLT) says, “We may throw the dice, but the Lord determines how they fall.” There is, therefore, no such thing as coincidence.

    You are not the only believer in supernatural evil. I know it exists. By direction of the Lord, I counsel people exposed to it. I’ve been working with a guy just this week, in fact. I have pictures of manifested demons that frightened people have sent me. My guy this week is going to send me his voice recordings of demons speaking. I’ve seen manifested demons myself. I know they exist, and I’ve felt the power of Jesus Christ in ridding them.

    Without the Lord God to carry her, I have no doubt that Tor has all sorts of psychological problems as a result of demonic affliction and influence. I’ve known people so afflicted. I’ve experienced the fear myself, while being trained by God to do this sort of counseling. In my case, I took to heart Matthew 10:28 (NIV): “Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell.” And after my first fear, I realized that I sinned in fearing wicked angels. They cannot kill my soul (or my body, unless God allows it).

    I can imagine how this poor girl feels after being exposed to this kind of evil. But adding evil on top of evil is no curative, and will bring her no peace or happiness. I could counsel her, because I understand. In these end times that we live in, there will be vast evil and supernatural affliction because Satan knows his time is short. And God knows the effect on people, and so He raised up some to help. Just as He raised up certain people to do all sorts of work for Him, this is my work. I’m quite certain that there are many others like me; there’s certainly nothing unique about me.

    She should know that it is not too late for her, God does not want her to die – God does not want any to die. She can be saved from the effects of this evil, but she must first WANT to be saved. God is omnipresent, and He is with her, and with us all, every moment of our lives. He has counted the hairs upon our heads. He knows what we think and feel, and He is a loving God who cares about all of us.

    She should know that God loves her and is patient with her, and that there is help for her: “The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” 2 Peter 3:9 (NIV).

  2. RS
    March 4th, 2015 @ 8:49 pm

    On the days when God still gets back into my head . . .

    What’s fascinating about the excerpts you quote, is that Tor seems to keep circling back to God. She knows He is reaching for her but she can’t bring herself to reach for Him.

    And you’re right, BTW. As I’ve always said, Satan’s two biggest lies are 1) “You’re good enough” followed by 2) You’re not good enough.

  3. robertstacymccain
    March 4th, 2015 @ 8:53 pm

    A lot of things that seem random actually aren’t. The problem is that people don’t have eyes to see, and they take miracles for granted.

  4. Evi L. Bloggerlady
    March 4th, 2015 @ 9:00 pm

    Another Amanda Marcotte post?

  5. DeadMessenger
    March 4th, 2015 @ 9:00 pm

    Back in the first century, Jesus and the disciples were doing all sorts of big, public “shock and awe” miracles. Because 1 Corinthians 1:22-25 says, “Jews demand signs and Greeks look for wisdom, but we preach Christ crucified: a stumbling block to Jews and foolishness to Gentiles, but to those whom God has called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. For the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength.”

    So now God works personally. Once we transitioned into the Gentile times, He’s still doing miracles, but they’re personal and intimate. And there’s people being healed, people having demons cast out, people being restored, God giving signs, and it happens every single day, all over the world.

    If people only opened their eyes, they would see these things happening.

  6. Evi L. Bloggerlady
    March 4th, 2015 @ 9:02 pm

    I think the big lie is: “You deserve it…”

  7. DeadMessenger
    March 4th, 2015 @ 9:06 pm

    You’re absolutely right. And people only carry this kind of baggage around because they don’t know God, or they don’t trust Him.

    Little do they know that when God forgives, He forgets. He literally puts out of His mind the thing that was done. This is one of the billion or so reasons that I love God:

    Jeremiah 31:34: “For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.”

    Isaiah 43:25: “I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more.”

    Isaiah 44:22: “I have swept away your offenses like a cloud, your sins like the morning mist. Return to me, for I have redeemed you.”

  8. Ruby
    March 4th, 2015 @ 9:07 pm

    You know NOTHING of Tor’s life. Until you’ve been through what they’ve been through, your opinion of their religious beliefs means exactly nothing. (Also, nice job misgendering Tor and ignoring their explicitly-stated pronouns, you transphobic bigot.) And how DARE you give God credit for Tor’s own work in surviving and healing. God isn’t responsible for Tor still being here. Tor is. How dare you dismiss all of that work, and reduce Tor’s suffering to your pretty little teaching moment. This is their LIFE. You get to pat yourself on the back for trying to “save a lost soul,” or whatever, and in a week you’ll forget Tor even exists. Meanwhile they have to live with this every day. You make me sick.

    You did get one thing right though. Evil does exist. It exists in human beings like Tor’s brother, who raped them, and Tor’s parents, who knew and did nothing, and people like you who trick yourself into believing you have compassion when all you have is a sense of entitlement and superiority. And then you blame evil on Satan instead of taking responsibility and admitting that people do awful things and there’s no rhyme or reason to it.

    I’d be shocked if this comment isn’t deleted as soon as you read it, and even more shocked if you actually absorb anything I’m saying. But saying nothing would make me complicit in your hate.

  9. Evi L. Bloggerlady
    March 4th, 2015 @ 9:07 pm

    Evil is real, I have seen it. But whether you are a secular atheist (assuming the universe is an indifferent entity and recognizing that human beings are capable of both good and evil) or a believing Christian (recognizing the same about people, but also recognizing their are forces outside our individual selves) the end result is obvious: evil exists.

  10. DeadMessenger
    March 4th, 2015 @ 9:08 pm

    Oh, and you also know that it’s no coincidence that you wrote this article, right? Something written here is going to touch someone that it’s supposed to touch.

  11. Evi L. Bloggerlady
    March 4th, 2015 @ 9:09 pm

    Ruby: Shouldn’t Tor’s real tormentors be the ones who make you sick? Why take it out here. Your anger is misplaced.

    No rhyme or reason why people do evil things?

    I pray and hope both you and Tor find peace. I mean that sincerely.

  12. trangbang68
    March 4th, 2015 @ 9:09 pm

    There are demonic elements to a lot of the weird sexual activity in our age. They cling to pornography that pours our of the internet like raw sewage.
    Unstable, often reprobate souls flood their souls with darkness and then act out. I think soon it will move the hand of God to bring judgment on our society.

    I agree with Mr. McCain that nothing but anointed, pointed preaching will set these broken lives free from the chains that bind. (I refer mainly to the victims. I think a lot of the perps are already given over to the devil and may be beyond redemption.

  13. DeadMessenger
    March 4th, 2015 @ 9:12 pm

    You have misinterpreted genuine love and caring for hatred. That is why Stacy wrote about her. There is help for Tor. She does not have to go through this alone. She is not the only person incestuously raped while the parents did nothing. She has experienced a terrible, evil thing, but there are people who do love her, whether you believe it or not, and would be willing to help her get back on her feet so she doesn’t have to experience this anguish every day of her life.

  14. GAHCindy
    March 4th, 2015 @ 9:12 pm

    I’m praying for Tor. Poor, poor Tor. Of course there is evil, and evil personified. Someone failed to explain to her how Jesus died to keep evil from killing her for all eternity, though that is Satan’s goal. I am so sorry when the message of forgiveness and mercy gets scrambled by all the pain. So. Sorry. Praying.

  15. robertstacymccain
    March 4th, 2015 @ 9:16 pm

    But saying nothing would make me complicit in your hate.

    “Hate”? Really?

  16. DeadMessenger
    March 4th, 2015 @ 9:20 pm

    Pornography, most certainly. But also, and perhaps more commonly, what is seen on TV and in movies. I stopped watching TV about 10 years ago. When you watch it all the time, you don’t realize the amount of mind control in it. But now, if I’m at someone’s house and the TV is on, and…ok, I’m not talking DIY and cooking shows, for instance…but the mind control is so blatant that I’m embarrassed watching it. And I’m sad for the person I’m visiting, who doesn’t even see the things that I’m seeing, they’re so ubiquitous.

    It’s insane, really.

  17. Wombat_socho
    March 4th, 2015 @ 9:28 pm

    Sorry to disappoint you, but this isn’t getting deleted.

  18. Ruby
    March 4th, 2015 @ 9:28 pm

    Evi: Of course Tor’s tormentors make me sick. Believe it or not, I can be disgusted by multiple people at once!

    DeadMessenger: If any of you really loved Tor, you’d use their correct pronouns. And they aren’t alone. They have the support of REAL friends, who love and respect them and offer concrete support instead of unwanted and self-motivated prayers. Tor does not want your prayers, or your consideration, or to be the focal point of a blog post where you tell them to turn everything over to God. They’ve been told all of this before, and it’s just as condescending the hundredth time as it is the first.

  19. RKae
    March 4th, 2015 @ 9:29 pm

    This is will seem off-topic for a bit. Stick with me.

    Where I work things are rather dangerous. We have strict rules about every damned move we make and we are continually drilled, audited and tested on the rules. Whenever there’s an accident we have to fill out incident reports, wherein one section is “What can we do in the future to prevent this from happening?” I got in trouble for answering “Follow existing rules.” I was told, “No! You have to suggest a new rule!” My response (spoken with Clint Eastwood coldness): “If someone broke the rules and got injured, doesn’t that prove that the rules work?”

    I feel the same way about Christian sex rules.

    Why is Tor complaining about Christianity’s muzzling of sex, while simultaneously complaining that she was traumatized by monsters who broke those very rules?!!!

    Sex is not a game, a hobby, a weapon or entertainment. It doesn’t need “innovation.”

  20. Zohydro
    March 4th, 2015 @ 9:30 pm

    AVE VVOMBATOR ETC

  21. Uriel
    March 4th, 2015 @ 9:33 pm

    Your prayers are warded against, have no illusion of efficacy

  22. RKae
    March 4th, 2015 @ 9:34 pm

    I’ve seen a sick trend on current TV. I tried watching “Elementary,” but one of Sherlock’s quirks is perverted sex (handcuffs, multiple partners).

    Then there’s “Forever.” The super-brilliant lead character (portrayed by Ioan Gruffudd) who gets in a relationship with a dominatrix and it’s all smirks and cleverness.

    I’ve seen this on other shows, too. They use bondage as a plot line and it’s always about hyper-intelligent people who are smug, superior, cute and clever.

    It’s a constant TV idea now: bondage is for sophisticated, brilliant people.

  23. RKae
    March 4th, 2015 @ 9:35 pm

    TV shows are called “programming” for a reason!

  24. Adobe_Walls
    March 4th, 2015 @ 9:37 pm

    *obligatory downtwinkles*
    Tor is a female of the species one of two possible sexes excepting the extremely rare physical deformity. The are no theys, thems as singular sexual identities. Belief in such nonsense is mere neurosis.

  25. Evi L. Bloggerlady
    March 4th, 2015 @ 9:40 pm

    People often resist and resist until they accept. Read Unbroken and how Louis Zamperini overcame his hatred of his Japanese captors.

  26. Zohydro
    March 4th, 2015 @ 9:40 pm

    Yesssss… Tor’s problems really began when she CHOSE to drink the homosexual Kool-Aid!

  27. Evi L. Bloggerlady
    March 4th, 2015 @ 9:43 pm

    With all due respect Ruby, you and Tor are free to use any pronouns you wish. But you should not be allowed to compel us to agree with you on that.

    Because when it comes to gender, XX or XY chromosomes, the science is (for the most part) settled.

  28. GAHCindy
    March 4th, 2015 @ 9:54 pm

    My prayers go to the King of Kings. It is the father of lies who fosters illusions.

  29. jkrank
    March 4th, 2015 @ 10:01 pm

    She might not want prayers (you say), but she got them.
    It is also great that she has friends. I pray the continue to do their best for her, as my friends do for me, and I do for others. You never know: I’ve met, helped, and been helped by people I’ve never thought would or could. I try to keep an open mind about these things.

  30. Ed
    March 4th, 2015 @ 10:03 pm

    You are very clearly ignorant on gender, sex, and pronouns. Calling Tor “she” is really no different than calling President Obama “she”. Gender has nothing to do with what phenotype one is born with. So, yeah, the science is pretty much settled, but you got it wrong.

    Thanks, though, for perpetuating the abuse Tor and many others experience on a daily basis while claiming to show God’s love.

  31. Zohydro
    March 4th, 2015 @ 10:06 pm

    Recognising the line between “mind control” and mindless entertainment provides some immunity, I should think… Even when they try really hard to erase that line:

    http://www.breitbart.com/big-hollywood/2015/03/04/abc-familys-the-fosters-airs-youngest-ever-gay-kiss-between-two-13-year-old-boys/

  32. Adobe_Walls
    March 4th, 2015 @ 10:07 pm

    Workplace safety is all about political correctness nowadays.

  33. Julie Pascal
    March 4th, 2015 @ 10:14 pm

    Considers the concept that prayers can be warded against….

    Nope. Doesn’t work that way.

  34. Julie Pascal
    March 4th, 2015 @ 10:23 pm

    The current psych fads are what you say… 20 years from now they’ll be different. Someone just decided to *define* gender as something other than the description of one’s sex. The reason for doing so is that lots of people (throughout history) have chaffed at the restrictions of physical reality… why was I born me and not someone else? Why am I stuck like this when I don’t like it? The current attitudes don’t expand freedom to be one’s self apart from the binary constraints of a genetic crap shoot, ancient philosophies answered the question by teaching that we’re all male and female, that we each of us have both feminine and masculine elements to our souls, but now days one must determine a smaller box, tighter constraints, and then force everyone else to agree with the box we’ve confined ourself within, and if we just just managed to get the definitions of the walls we build around us *just perfectly right* then we’ll finally be happy.

    As McCain said… the Father of Lies.

  35. Pogo
    March 4th, 2015 @ 10:57 pm

    You’re a good man, McCain.

  36. DeadMessenger
    March 4th, 2015 @ 10:58 pm

    You are taking link selection tips from McCain, I see. Now I wish I could unsee that webpage. =)

  37. DeadMessenger
    March 4th, 2015 @ 11:08 pm

    Ruby, let me give you an example. I have two kids who are young adults. Sometimes they do, say, and think things that are dumb, ill-advised, silly, offensive, or outright dangerous. But I still love them. In fact, no matter what they do, I will always love them unconditionally.

    Similarly, I think it’s silly for Tor to call herself “they”. It’s also unfair of her to characterize all Christians the same. Just because some people who call themselves Christian do vile, evil things doesn’t mean all of us do. Nevertheless, I still love Tor unconditionally. And I love you unconditionally, too. And will continue to pray for you both, even if you don’t appreciate it. At the moment. Because someday you might.

  38. DeadMessenger
    March 4th, 2015 @ 11:20 pm

    Here’s some more upvotes for that ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^+…

  39. DeadMessenger
    March 4th, 2015 @ 11:27 pm

    A bit OT, but…

    I worked at a place that had the same survey form after an accident, only this one said “What can you do in the future to prevent this from happening?”

    In this case, I was working in a laboratory, and the guy before me didn’t screw the cap back on a gallon of acid, so I got a nice hydrochloric acid bath that wasn’t my fault. So I answered, “Have my manager pour up dangerous chemicals from now on.”

  40. Julie Pascal
    March 4th, 2015 @ 11:33 pm

    Christian morality is about fighting against our (sinful) human nature. I think that Satan’s Big Lie of my generation is probably that the *sinless* state is the natural one. All evil in that philosophy is imposed by whatever “authority” exists (the Church or the Patriarchy) and if only (in this case) the Church could be destroyed, evil would cease to exist. Children wouldn’t be raped. Bad stuff wouldn’t happen. This (very odd) way of looking at the world is how the radical feminists can claim, somehow, that heterosexuality is the unnatural state and that our *natural* female state is to be lesbians. Because “science” or perhaps “biology”…. ??? Rationally, clearly, logically, *of course* the natural state is one that encompasses (even demands) sexual reproduction and transmittal of genes from one generation to the next. That’s natural. What’s also *natural* is that nature and genes and biology really don’t care particularly much just how consensual that transmission is or how prepared someone is for parenthood. So we *fight against* our human nature and we strive for sexual morality where we suppress our biology and direct it, we hope, in better directions.

    Instead of feeling entitled to anything or anyone we lust after, we school ourselves to be masters of our own human nature, toward some level of piety, self-discipline and restraint.

    And somehow this restrictive philosophy about sex *causes* bad sex and sex crimes, rape and abuse? Because, what, without it everyone would just have sex whenever they felt like it with anyone they felt like it in any way that they felt like it *without guilt*… ignoring entirely that it’s not *guilt* causing the problems, it’s rape and abuse, abandonment, and entitled attitudes toward other people’s bodies.

    The “natural state” is the one where evil exits and flourishes. So we fight it and our own natures because we are able to understand that not everything that we are free to do is good for us. The teachings of the church about restraint and sexual morality exist to protect us. Because evil exists.

  41. RKae
    March 4th, 2015 @ 11:40 pm

    It’s all about insurance where I work. “Whose fault?” “How much?” The whole “We love you and we don’t want to see you get hurt” is a mask.

  42. RKae
    March 4th, 2015 @ 11:42 pm

    “…so I got a nice hydrochloric acid bath that wasn’t my fault.”

    Seriously: Sorry to hear that.

    Not-so-seriously: Thank you for not turning into a supervillain!

  43. Finrod Felagund
    March 4th, 2015 @ 11:42 pm

    Science is never settled, nor does it need believing in. You don’t get to redefine what ‘abuse’ is, either.

  44. Finrod Felagund
    March 4th, 2015 @ 11:45 pm

    Sorry to burst your bubble, but the only one expressing hate here is you. It’s understandable, at least to most of us, and hopefully you’ll understand it in the future and won’t lash out at people trying to help then.

  45. RKae
    March 4th, 2015 @ 11:49 pm

    It’s amazing how the idea that “trying to follow rules CAUSES people to be evil” is regarded as a “common sense fact” in our society. “Sure. Everyone knows that. If you don’t have sex you’ll go insane and rape kids!”

    This is why the media focuses so intently on Catholic priest sex scandals. “See! See! They tried to abstain and they went crazy!”

    Really? Who rapes more kids – people who say, “sex is not a hobby; control yourself” or people who say, “children need to experience the pleasures of sex”?

    I’d say it’s the latter of those two.

  46. Julie Pascal
    March 5th, 2015 @ 12:10 am

    “Born sinful” has been turned into “born innocent”. That’s how we get the idea that the “natural state” is the sinless one, the one where evil does not exist.

    But evil is the natural state. I think that the reason that we can avoid what used to be a very obvious truth is that modern life insulates us from the natural state so very very effectively. People are *born* lustful. They’re *born* selfish. They’re *born* covetous. We come upon lying easily, stealing easily, hurting others easily. We need to be taught NOT to do these things. We need to be taught self-discipline. We need to be taught to DENY our impulses and our desires. Otherwise, in a *state of nature*, we only know to TAKE.

    But people still insist, insist, insist, that people must be *taught* to be bad.

    Even a single, clear eyed, look at what nature rewards, will show that it’s not true, but the ultimate excuse for anything… for dishonesty, for infidelity, for wrecking the lives of others…, is now somehow “following one’s feelings.”

    It’s stupidly messed up. Criminals are impulse controlled, I want it, I want it now, I should get what I want…

    THAT is the natural state.

  47. Evi L. Bloggerlady
    March 5th, 2015 @ 12:25 am

    Penis and balls = bull
    Vagina and udders = cow
    Penis and no balls = steer

  48. Zohydro
    March 5th, 2015 @ 12:29 am

    Everything we feared when gay marriage came to the fore, the mainstreaming of perversion, all that rot is happening now!

    Many of us, including our hirsute host, accurately predicted years ago how it would all play out…

  49. Shawn Smith
    March 5th, 2015 @ 12:50 am

    Re: pronouns. Please explain to me how participating in a mentally ill person’s delusions helps bring them back to sanity. Also, “transphobic”? I’m pretty sure Mr. McCain has no particular fear of across. Could you please use real English words?

  50. dicentra
    March 5th, 2015 @ 2:12 am

    Folks, when someone is hurting as badly as Tor is, it’s actually quite cruel to respond by holding forth on your favorite doctrines or asserting your prized understanding of reality.

    That’s not what’s needed AT ALL. If you were lying on the ground writhing in pain, your femur snapped in two and blood pumping from an artery, the worst thing I could do is deliver a lecture on the mechanisms of bone knitting and how much blood a person can lose before perishing.

    I should also probably refrain from handing you a pair of crutches or giving you the phone number of a good physical therapist.

    Hello? Tend to the wound first! Call an ambulance! Stop the bleeding! Administer an analgesic! Speak words of comfort!

    That’s not what you people are doing. You’re saying all the wrong things, even if they’re technically correct (which is actually debatable).

    I was not abused anywhere near as badly as Tor was, but I did have a cruel father, and it destroyed any internal notion of a kindly or loving God. Ten-thousand mentions of “God loves you” over the pulpit don’t even put a dent into what you experience at home.

    Not even sort of. I’m a half-century old and still cannot conceive of a God who doesn’t writhe in agony over the fact that I exist. I am well aware that such a perception is my internalization of my father’s narcissistic treatment of me. I can diagram the mechanism of my “incorrect” perceptions better than you can. I can recite chapter and verse, explain it in clear language, and provide insight into the phenomenon.

    Still doesn’t make that perception go away. A mild mood disorder and wicked PMS don’t help, either. But people thinking that I need to be argued into right thinking are just about the worst there is.

    Tor has chosen to identify as “they” not out of bloody-mindedness but as a way of coping with unimaginable pain. Sexually abused girls come to loathe their femininity BECAUSE THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT WAS ASSAULTED. BEING A GIRL THEREFORE HURTS LIKE HELL. If Tor needs to use a different pronoun during their healing phase (no matter how long that takes), don’t be a jackass and start lecturing them on chromosomes.

    It’s like bumping up against someone’s open wound and responding to the OUCH! by insisting it couldn’t have hurt because it was just a little bump.

    God Almighty, can you set aside the left-right social critique for even a second? Can you resist the urge to “correct” someone on their theology while they’re howling in pain?

    Apparently not.

    Furthermore, Tor’s rejection of God is well-earned. Tor was failed over and over and over and over by people who claimed to be righteous and Christian and all that. Tor has no earthly reason to believe that any God who exists doesn’t loathe them worse than they loathe themselves. Furthermore, whatever faculty of the soul that would permit Tor to sense a loving God has been seared by the white-hot evil that was done to them.

    When Tor makes “counter doctrinal” statements, that’s not an invitation to play EFFING REFUTATION PING-PONG! (“God hates me” “No he doesn’t”) That’s Tor inviting us to get some small inkling of what they’re going through, so that Tor won’t feel so alone and isolated and REJECTED AS A FREAK.

    When you engage in refutation, you’re essentially telling Tor to shut the hell up cuz your own paradigm is the only one you’re interested in. I cannot emphasize enough how much it hurts when people try to attenuate your cries of pain because you’re saying “wrong” things.

    SHIT, PEOPLE! WHY CAN’T YOU JUST SAY “OMG TOR I AM SO SORRY THAT YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS! YOU DIDN’T DESERVE IT AT ALL! I WISH THERE WERE A PILL TO TAKE YOUR PAIN AWAY! IF YOU NEED TO SAY THE SHOCKING THINGS OUT LOUD I’LL LISTEN AND NOT JUDGE!”

    LEAVE THE SERMONS FOR SUNDAY SCHOOL! You’re like a surgeon who tosses a textbook at a patient instead of performing the actual surgery. Worse than useless.

    If you guys intended to look at Tor’s pain for what it is instead of making Tor an object lesson in What Feminism Does To People or demonology or other SHIT, you’re doing it wrong.

    Very wrong.

    Worse than Job’s friends, is what. Miserable comforters are ye all.