The Other McCain

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Rape Culture Means: Guys, Do Not Have Sex With Jordan Bosiljevac (Updated)

Posted on | May 2, 2015 | 147 Comments

Jordan Bosiljevac is a deeply confused sophomore at Claremont McKenna College (annual tuition $47,395) and, like every other college girl, she’s got an opinion about rape culture:

Why Yes Can Mean No
It started with “consent is sexy.” But, of course, there was no point in that—it was like saying rape is just bad sex, instead of a felony. Then there was “consent is mandatory.” It was much better, reminding us that sex is consensual, and everything else is rape. But then there was me, after a party, in a man’s dorm room. And there was “is this ok?” If we are being legal about this, I said ‘yes’ — no coercion, no imminent threat of violence, no inebriation (well, not a lot, anyway). But what I want to talk about is what happened before I said yes, who taught me to say yes, why I thought it was better to say yes, and why I really meant ‘no.’ . . .

(Pause, dear reader, to imagine yourself in the position of the male Claremont McKenna College student who is the other half of this story. You hooked up with Jordan Bosiljevac after a party, and now she’s going to tell everyone who reads the student newspaper why, in fact, she really didn’t want to hook up with you.)

Depending on who you are, it might sound ridiculous: why would anyone ever say yes when they meant no? Honesty is important to any relationship — sexual or otherwise. Besides, the legal definition of rape in the State of California states “rape is an act of sexual intercourse when a person is incapable of” . . .
Honestly, there’s a lot more to it than that for me. At five, relatives used to kiss my cheeks even as I winced and turned away. At the tender age of twelve, I was taught that my bra straps and thighs deserved detention because they distracted boys at school. At sixteen, my boyfriend assured me that most girls liked this — I just needed to relax. So at 20, in someone’s room after a party, ‘no’ was scary and unfamiliar to me. These incidents, unfortunately, are not unique to me. In discussing this experience with friends, we coined the term “raped by rape culture” to describe what it was like to say yes, coerced by the culture that had raised us and the systems of power that worked on us, and to still want ‘no.’ Sometimes, for me, there was obligation from already having gone back to someone’s room, not wanting to ruin a good friendship, loneliness, worry that no one else would ever be interested, a fear that if I did say no, they might not stop, the influence of alcohol, and an understanding that hookups are “supposed” to be fun.

She was “coerced by the culture” and oppressed by “the systems of power,” you see. That dude she hooked up with after the party might have thought she was consenting to have sex with him when, in fact, he was “culture” and raped her. Or something like that.

The idea that women are “coerced by culture” into having sex with men is, of course, consistent with feminist Professor Marilyn Frye’s assertion that “most women have to be coerced into heterosexuality.” In other words, women do not actually want to have sex with men. Instead, because female “subordination is the basis of male power,” as Professor Charlotte Bunch explained, heterosexuality for women means “submission to personal oppression.” Having sex with men, feminist theory teaches, is part of the “socialized behavior instruction” of “the unnatural, yet universal roles patriarchy has assigned” to women. As lesbian feminist Adrienne Rich explained, “male power manifests itself . . . as enforcing heterosexuality on women,” so that “for women heterosexuality” is “imposed . . . and maintained by force.”

Whether or not Jordan Bosiljevac has learned any of that Advanced Feminist Logic™ at Claremont McKenna College, she clearly has grasped the core feminist doctrine that her entire life has been a traumatic experience of oppression. “Feminist consciousness is consciousness of victimization . . . to come to see oneself as a victim,” as Professor Sandra Lee Bartky has explained. Women’s oppression under patriarchy is so pervasive, according to feminist theory, that women cannot be sure that their ideas, beliefs and emotions are their own. Instead, feminism teaches women that they have been indoctrinated by a system of male supremacy, brainwashed into believing that having sex with men is “natural.” Feminist “rape culture” discourse is not about protecting women from rape; it’s about convincing them that any sexual activity with men can be considered rape, because how can any female (being a victim of male oppression) be able to freely “consent” to sex with her oppressor? This seems to be what Jordan Bosiljevac is trying to tell us:

For me, and many others like me, consent isn’t easy. Yes doesn’t always mean yes, and we misplaced ‘no’ several years ago. This experience isn’t random, but disproportionately affects oppressed communities. Consent is a privilege, and it was built for wealthy, heterosexual, cis, white, western, able-bodied masculinity. . . .
When you’re poor, disabled, queer, non-white, trans, or feminine, ‘no’ isn’t for you. . . . for me, finding ‘no’ is a process, consent is elusive, and sometimes, even when people don’t mean to — they hurt me.

Translation: Guys, do not have sex with Jordan Bosiljevac, ever.

She cannot authentically say “yes,” because “consent is elusive” and, while she is willing to stipulate consent as a hypothetical possibility, any male who would even think about having sex with Jordan Bosiljevac is as crazy as she is.

UPDATE: Thanks to the commenter who pointed out that, in another article at the Claremont McKenna Forum, Jordan Bosiljevac labels herself “a brown woman of gay parents,” and describes “third grade me, starting elementary school with more wealthy white children than I’d ever seen in my whole life”:

On the first day I entered this alien planet via my mothers’ red van — yes, that’s two moms that both came to drop me off. As if gay moms in an old, unfashionable van weren’t enough, I was one of a few children of color at my school. I had no friends, a lot of whispers about my strange family situation, and sudden regret for all the time I’d spent outside that past summer. Basically, I felt like a mess.

Well, “the personal is the political,” as Women’s Liberation pioneer Carol Hanisch famously proclaimed, and this sort of identity-based narrative approach to politics — i.e., offering one’s personal biography as the justification of a radical ideology — has multiple consequences. Forming any kind of coherent movement becomes difficult because everyone has an unlimited psychological investment in the movement, and must fight to make the movement reflective of their own identity. This was the history of Women’s Liberation in a nutshell, familiar to anyone who has read Alice Echols’ Daring to Be Bad or Susan Brownmiller’s In Our Time.

From its beginning amid the radical New Left of the 1960s, the modern feminist movement was crippled by its tendency to attract fanatical ax-grinders who were using politics as a means of addressing their own narrow personal grievances against men, against Judeo-Christian morality, against society in general. The undeniable fact that many of the leading activists in the Women’s Liberation movement were lesbians should have been a warning to any woman who joined the movement in expectation of advancing a reform agenda aimed at the everyday concerns of the typical woman’s life. When it became apparent that some of the movement’s most vocal spokeswomen (including both Kate Millett and Shulamith Firestone) were quite literally psychotic, this should have prompted other feminists to reconsider their own basic principles.

Here we are, then, in the 21st century and the 20-year-old daughter of a lesbian couple finds that her search for happiness is fraught with perils and disappointments she can only analyze through a feminist lens. She has no other frame of reference and yet, as I have said, if feminism is the cause of your problem, the solution to your problem is not “more feminism.” This puts someone like Jordan Bosiljevac into a painful dilemma, for if she were somehow to re-examine her principles and discover traditionalism, she would be compelled to reject her own “family values.” Therefore it is much more likely that she will instead double-down on feminism, embracing an even more radical hostility to human nature.

This kind of reaction to feminism’s failure is exactly what we are witnessing everywhere now. A new book, Freedom Fallacy: The Limits of Liberal Feminism, edited by a pair of Australian feminists, collects essays advocating a renewed radicalism. The titles of these essays reveal a totalitarian suspicion of personal liberty (e.g., “Entitled to Be Free: Exposing the Limits of Choice”), a sense of a radical indignation (e.g., “The Illusion of Progress: A Betrayal of Women from Both Ends of the Political Spectrum”), and an underlying anti-heterosexual hostility toward men (e.g., “The Oppression That Dare Not Speak Its Name? Silences Around Heterosexuality in Contemporary Feminism”). These attitudes are surprising only to those who have not studied feminist gender theory and the history of the movement. (My book Sex Trouble provides a helpful introduction.) Ultimately, the movement aims to bring about the destruction of civilization as we know it, annihilating the traditional married family as a normative institution, and bringing about an “equality” of the sexes by the imposition of androgyny, i.e., “the abolition of gender.” If anyone asks where “the pursuit of happiness” fits into this radical vision, the answer is that feminists consider “happiness” a myth, a social construct of the heteronormative patriarchy.

BTW, as of May 5, it’s National Offend a Feminist Week. You can celebrate by being as happy as possible. Feminists hate happiness.




 

Comments

147 Responses to “Rape Culture Means: Guys, Do Not Have Sex With Jordan Bosiljevac (Updated)”

  1. Matt_SE
    May 2nd, 2015 @ 9:50 pm

    It’s a race to the bottom (no pun intended). When only women are involved, there’s an incentive to cheat and the system won’t likely survive. Men used to be part of the system too and contributed to its stability, but that was done away with.

  2. M. Thompson
    May 2nd, 2015 @ 10:05 pm

    First, it’s another arguement against women’s sufferage.

    Second, the low level at which sex is wired into the human psyche is why many of those old rules existed. Do not mess with recieved wisdom lightly, a lesson lost on many.

  3. DeadMessenger
    May 2nd, 2015 @ 11:25 pm

    Small community colleges have less insanity, so that’s an option, in the hope that they mature enough while there, and aren’t affected by liberal stupidity.

    Another option is to tell them that if they want your help, they will major in a technical subject. Some kind of traditional engineering is good, such as electrical, chemical, mechanical, computer. That keeps them away from Stupidity Ground Zero.

    Also, tell them you want to approve their class choices. If they have any kind of gender studies, tell them, no way.

    And, as someone else suggested, don’t give up your retirement money at all. Make them pay. My parents were clear since I was a kid that they weren’t going to pay. I worked two jobs to pay for my own degree. Took me 8 years, but totally worth it. Number 1, I had the satisfaction of knowing I hadn’t put my parents into debt for it, and number 2, I forced the school to actually teach me stuff (I griped about useless crap to the administration), and because I worked, I knew what would be of value and what wouldn’t.

    I would advise any parent to tell their kid to pay their own way. Because I did it, I know that it can be done. And now I have a great career, and have NEVER been laid off, even when companies collapsed around me, because of my learned work ethic. And I graduated 30+ years ago, which is a long time to never have been fired, let go or laid off.

  4. Julie Pascal
    May 2nd, 2015 @ 11:29 pm

    A .38 in your purse lets out the drinking except with good friends in safe places… which would solve most of the problem already.

    There’s a mindset to self-defense that just isn’t present in these equations, which is why suggesting a .38 or even martial arts training is viewed as unacceptable victim blaming.

    The mere *concept* of self-defense requires taking responsibility for your own safety.

  5. DeadMessenger
    May 2nd, 2015 @ 11:32 pm

    You can get good homeschool curriculum from Bob Jones University.

  6. Julie Pascal
    May 2nd, 2015 @ 11:34 pm

    Thing is, guys get broke up with if they won’t have sex, too. The best bet is to hang around people who are likely to be “save it for marriage” types.

  7. Julie Pascal
    May 2nd, 2015 @ 11:35 pm

    I don’t know that she is. I read it just as having to put up with what you don’t like because it’s expected of you.

    Funny thing really… one of the things I hoped to get out of homeschooling for my kids is that they were allowed to say “no” to adults and expect to be listened to. They might have to obey me, but I’m Mom. Random other adults just for being adults? Oh, heck no.

  8. Julie Pascal
    May 2nd, 2015 @ 11:37 pm

    Why yes, yes I noticed that.

  9. Daniel Freeman
    May 2nd, 2015 @ 11:46 pm

    Good point.

  10. RKae
    May 2nd, 2015 @ 11:46 pm

    Screaming about “rape,” yelling at random conservative speakers, and hating Israel are exactly what the faculty WANT them learning.

  11. RKae
    May 2nd, 2015 @ 11:51 pm

    There’s nothing our civilization despises more than an idea that’s just simply DONE.

    Apparently, everything needs “innovation.” So we keep fixing what ain’t broken.

  12. RKae
    May 2nd, 2015 @ 11:55 pm

    “…it’s still a small percentage…”

    Y’know, I hear that line about Muslims every time one of them sets off a bomb or lops off some Christian’s noggin.

  13. BSR
    May 3rd, 2015 @ 12:11 am

    I think a smart kid, one who has a strong faith in him or herself is quiet capable of navigating even the pits of the worst liberal arts college without falling prey to this nonsense. You don’t want them to have to, but it’s possible to do. I say this as a product of the public school system in the state of Maryland.

    Encourage your college-bound kids to stay active in the campus church and look into the church youth centers. And talk honestly about how you feel about college aged drinking and carousing. There’ve been studies that show that binge drinking for high school and college aged folks is really bad for brain development.

    You can’t protect your kids forever. Someday they do have to go off into the real world and college might end up being their first real test in that arena. You can also spend time showing them some of these articles about feminism and some of the other insanity that we’ve seen on college campuses lately. Explain how you interpret what’s going on there so that when someone else white-washes it, they have another perspective already planted in their heads.

    I think Truth and honesty will win in the end and if you’ve already given them the truth, then the lies should bounce off.

    Beyond that, I’d recommend encouraging kids to go into STEM fields. At least then they don’t get the worst of the liberal arts nonsense pushed on them. Sure they’ll still have to do some core curriculum but you can often get around having to take a Women’s studies course.

  14. BSR
    May 3rd, 2015 @ 12:23 am

    How sad it is that our culture does not value innocence, loyalty and devotion.

  15. BSR
    May 3rd, 2015 @ 12:28 am

    I kind of wish I had stayed with the ‘save it for marriage’ crowd but then I probably never would have met my wonderful and devoted husband of eleven years. A virtuous woman has to walk a narrow line between what everyone else does and what it’s proper and right to do until she does get married.

    What’s difficult is knowing what to tell my son when he comes of age about how to approach women. I don’t want him to discount a wonderful woman just because she isn’t interested in sex. And in the current college climate it seems like the best advice for any man is ‘DON’T DO IT!!!!’ for fear of the faux rape accusation. Ironically it seems like his safest bet would be to stick close to the church and the ‘save it for marriage’ crowd for that reason alone.

  16. richard mcenroe
    May 3rd, 2015 @ 12:41 am

    Giving these people loaded firearms is a mad move; you KNOW they’d act out with them and hurt themselves or others.

  17. Prime Director
    May 3rd, 2015 @ 1:22 am

    Everytime the subject of the social construction of gender comes up, I find I have some difficulty getting outraged. Of course gender is socially constructed. By whom, though?

    In this regard, I find Hayek’s thoughts on spontaneous order helpful. To wit:

    Most of the rules which do govern existing society are not the result of our deliberate making… [B]ut the product of a process of evolution in the course of which much more experience and knowledge has been precipiated in them than any one person can fully know

    And

    Many of the greatest things man has achieved are not the result of consciously directed thought, and still less the product of a deliberately coordinated effort of many individuals, but of a process in which the individual plays a part which he can never fully understand.

    I believe the problem most critics of heteronormativity have with the social construction of gender is the fact that it is not CONSCIOUSLY directed for the immediate gratification of political ends.

  18. Prime Director
    May 3rd, 2015 @ 1:35 am

    Wrong thread >:^(

  19. Steve Skubinna
    May 3rd, 2015 @ 1:39 am

    It’s never the wrong thread to discuss social construction of gender.

  20. Steve Skubinna
    May 3rd, 2015 @ 1:41 am

    The bedrock principle of progressivism is the abdication of personal responsibility. Which would be bad enough if these deranged nihilists simply chose that path for themselves, but they continually insist that we all listen to the voices in their heads and do exactly as they say or be guilty of crimethink.

  21. Lamprotatia
    May 3rd, 2015 @ 2:34 am

    This is kind of what I was thinking. We already homeschool. There are enough colleges around our city to choose from, including a range of technical and pre-professional programs, I figure it would be fair enough to say that our contribution is going to be room and board at home. If they can get merit scholarships, that could be a pretty sweet deal, even. I left home at 18 and it was good for me because home was not a happy place, but it was also bad for me because college was a shark tank. I think living at home during school is probably best for 18 year olds whose families are functional.

  22. concern00
    May 3rd, 2015 @ 3:04 am

    It’s your personal portable safe space.

  23. Daniel Freeman
    May 3rd, 2015 @ 3:24 am

    I just wonder how the left can be so enamored of both gun laws and those who break them. Having the Crips, Bloods et al. be so strongly featured (and lauded!) in recent events has opened my eyes.

    It cannot be simply a paradox. There is a deeper truth, I can feel it, and I feel that it has something to do with what you said.

    ETA: There it was, staring me right in the eyes. The one is abdication of responsibility for your own safety; the other abdication of responsibility to follow the law. No contradiction at all, at a deeper level. Thank you for helping me resolve something that’s been bugging me all day.

  24. Steve Skubinna
    May 3rd, 2015 @ 5:51 am

    It’s been more or less staring us in the face. Everything for the state, nothing outside the state. All individuality must be subsumed by the state, and so must all responsibility.

    They must, on some deep subconscious level, lust to be ants. And how they must hate those of us who insist upon standing erect, saying “I am me, and I own my life!”

  25. Adjoran
    May 3rd, 2015 @ 6:17 am

    “Disgusted with it”? No way, dude. She’s pushing the envelope, a pioneer – even “yes” means “no” now, unless it doesn’t, and no one can really be sure until SHE decides after plenty of time to think about how she really thinks about you.

    Talk about “empowering,” this chick is the She-Hitler of Claremont McKenna. She’s the Godzilla of bitches, the Dr. Evil of sexual liaisons. She not only gets to decide at the time, she gets to decide what she really meant, and to hold you to it!

    God forbid you date her a month and then misspell her name, you could do 20 years as a serial rapist.

  26. Adjoran
    May 3rd, 2015 @ 6:21 am

    Yeah, but where’s the fun in that?

    The point is that once she’s through with a guy, she can make him PAY.

  27. From Around the Blogroll | The First Street Journal.
    May 3rd, 2015 @ 7:02 am

    […] Stacey Stacy McCain on The Other McCain: Rape Culture Means: Guys, Do Not Have Sex With Jordan Bosiljevac Not only does no mean no, and lack of yes means no, but now even yes means […]

  28. The original Mr. X
    May 3rd, 2015 @ 8:17 am

    There’s a mindset to self-defense that just isn’t present in these equations, which is why suggesting a .38 or even martial arts training is viewed as unacceptable victim blaming.
    Reminds me of the reaction when somebody developed a nail varnish which changes colour when it comes into contact with common date-rape drugs, so all you needed to do to check your drink was to surreptitiously dip your finger into it. Instead of being pleased, the main feminist reaction was “Oh noes, another excuse for victim blaming!”

  29. Dana
    May 3rd, 2015 @ 10:05 am

    The poor little victim wrote:

    First, we have to realize that all oppression is connected, and all rape is racist, classist, ableist, patriarchal, hetero and cissexist.

    So, if a black man rapes a black woman, he’s being racist? If a white man has sex with a white woman who said yes, but really wanted him to read her mind and hear, “No!” he’s being racist? If a man gets raped by another man, it’s hetero?

    ‘Twould see to me that her $47,395 in tuition has been squandered, inasmuch as critical thinking has not been something she has developed.

  30. Dana
    May 3rd, 2015 @ 10:09 am

    If no means no, and no real answer but continuing to make out means no, and now even yes means no, does anything ever mean yes?

  31. robertstacymccain
    May 3rd, 2015 @ 10:21 am

    Feminists have invented a new crime, of which only men can be guilty: Attempted heterosexuality.

  32. Delaney Coffer
    May 3rd, 2015 @ 10:35 am

    To these vagina clad vermin who claim all sex is rape, everything means no. This movement is about hatred of men and nothing else. It deserves no intellectual quarter. They’re klansmen.

  33. The original Mr. X
    May 3rd, 2015 @ 11:09 am

    No.

  34. Patrick Carroll
    May 3rd, 2015 @ 11:41 am

    ‘When I use a word,’ Humpty Dumpty said, in rather a scornful tone, ‘it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less.’

  35. Patrick Carroll
    May 3rd, 2015 @ 11:49 am

    Sod! You got there before me.

  36. Prime Director
    May 3rd, 2015 @ 1:16 pm

    He said Calvinball lol

  37. ameryx
    May 3rd, 2015 @ 1:19 pm

    From another article by Jordan Bosiljevac, to which one can find a link at the end of the article linked by Stacy:

    I want to be clear that my experience as a brown woman of gay parents…

    Conclusion-drawing is left as an exercise for the reader.

  38. Beeblebrocs
    May 3rd, 2015 @ 1:24 pm

    The irony of “feminist theory” is that the dominant culture these days is the Leftist, feminist, gay world view. They act like White, Christian, Conservative Males call the shots these days. That era ended some time ago.

    They can rage against the machine all they want. But since they invented the machine, I have little sympathy.

  39. Dindu nuffin
    May 3rd, 2015 @ 1:33 pm

    If anything, women are coerced by female supremacists to think every encounter that they regrets is rape

  40. Dindu nuffin
    May 3rd, 2015 @ 1:37 pm

    Consent is so confusing.
    People used to pride themselves on doing what they say and saying what they do.
    Nowadays the feminuts teach women to say “yes”, but if you have even a tinge of regret, change your mind, claim you said “no” and ruin some man ‘s ljfe all because you cant tell the difference between yes and no

  41. Dindu nuffin
    May 3rd, 2015 @ 1:41 pm

    The feminut fantasy is that women get to rape any man at any time via the fake rape claim.
    40 years after a non-encounter. Say a man dares to reject a woman with or without intimacy.
    She can.rape him 40 years later with a fake rape claim

  42. RKae
    May 3rd, 2015 @ 1:44 pm

    And, as I’ve said before, they want us to believe that rape is occurring on college campuses with such frequency that they might as well be villages getting plundered by Vikings, and yet college kids are about 99.9% leftist.*

    So… all those college rapists – what’s their political/cultural/social persuasion?

    Even in Lena Dunham’s farcical tale, she was raped by her campus’s “resident Republican” – as in “the only one.” So was he doing ALL the rapes at that college?**

    *Unofficial stat that I got just from talking to every kid I know who went to church, then went off to college and came home proudly denouncing Christianity and spouting utter nonsense.

    **And it turned out he wasn’t a Republican anyway.

  43. RKae
    May 3rd, 2015 @ 1:45 pm

    Chris Squire, Steve Howe and Alan White still mean Yes.

  44. Dindu nuffin
    May 3rd, 2015 @ 1:46 pm

    Feminuts told women avoid marriage, husbands are controlling abusers and rapists.
    Next, feminuts told women avoid boyfriends, they rape and abuse.
    Now,.feminuts tell women go with hookups, not boyfriends or husbands. What could go wrong?
    Oh, yeah, all men are rapists

  45. darleenclick
    May 3rd, 2015 @ 2:19 pm

    Interesting there is only 3 comments, all positive, on her article.

    I guess any criticism is a microaggression and being blocked by the “moderators”

  46. Dana
    May 3rd, 2015 @ 3:46 pm

    I’m guilty, guilty, guilty!

  47. Dana
    May 3rd, 2015 @ 3:48 pm

    Alas! Sometimes the crazy isn’t apparent until after you have copulated with her.

  48. Dana
    May 3rd, 2015 @ 3:49 pm

    That’s only because a number higher than 100% is mathematically impossible.

  49. Quartermaster
    May 3rd, 2015 @ 4:13 pm

    NO! You’re guilty of Aggravated Heterosexuality in the 1st degree!

  50. News of the Week (May 3rd, 2015) | The Political Hat
    May 3rd, 2015 @ 5:27 pm

    […] Rape Culture Means: Guys, Do Not Have Sex With Jordan Bosiljevac Jordan Bosiljevac is a deeply confused sophomore at Claremont McKenna College (annual tuition $47,395) and, like every other college girl, she’s got an opinion about rape culture […]