The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

Feminists, and How to Avoid Them

Posted on | August 12, 2015 | 115 Comments

 

Miriam Mogilevsky (@sondosia on Twitter) doesn’t like men, but evidently those sexist oppressors won’t leave her alone:

I started to understand my frustrations with my male friends, roommates, and partners much better, because these imbalances have touched every single relationship I’ve ever had with a man. Male partners have consistently ignored glaring issues in the relationship so that I had to be the one to start the difficult conversation every single time, even though they supposedly had as much of a stake in the relationship as I did. Male roommates have made me beg and plead and send reminder texts to do even the most basic household management tasks. Male friends have tried to use me as a therapist, or drawn me into worrying about their physical health with them while refusing to see a doctor even though they had insurance.
Well-meaning men of varying roles in my life have consistently ignored my nonverbal cues, even very visible ones, forcing me to constantly have to articulate boundaries that ought to be obvious, over and over. . . .
This is why being in relationship with men, even platonically, is often so exhausting for me. As much as I love them and care for them, it feels like work.

You can read the rest. Miriam Mogilevsky is a feminist because she doesn’t like men, and yet men won’t take the hint. This is a persistent problem. Some males actually believe that feminism is about equality. They think, “Well, I believe in equality, so I’m a feminist, too,” and then intrude themselves into the lives of feminists like Miriam Mogilevsky, who don’t want to be anywhere near a man, ever. Merely being in the presence of a male is “exhausting” to feminists. They have made abundantly clear what feminism requires of men:

A. Shut up;
and
B. Go away.

As soon as a woman indicates that she is a feminist, this should be a cue to any man to avoid her as much as possible. No male should ever speak to a feminist. In fact, the feminist expects males to be completely silent in her presence. How much more clearly can Miriam Mogilevsky make her point? Everything that men do is annoying to her. Attempts by males to befriend Ms. Mogilevsky are unwelcome. She is a feminist, and therefore dislikes having to share the planet with males, because of “the fear and anger with which some men respond to women’s emotional unavailability.” Ms. Mogilevsky is a feminist, and therefore has no emotion toward men except disgust and contempt. Why can’t these men understand what Miriam Mogilevsky is trying to tell them?

Emotional labor is reassuring my partner over and over that yes, I love him, yes, I find him attractive, yes, I truly want to be with him, because he will not do the work of developing his self-esteem and relies on me to bandage those constantly-reopening wounds. Emotional labor is letting my partner know that I didn’t like what he did sexually last night, because he never asked me first if I wanted to do that. Emotional labor is reassuring him that, no, it’s okay, I’m not mad, I just wanted him to know for next time, yes, of course I love him, no, this doesn’t mean I’m not attracted to him, I’m just not interested in that sort of sex. Emotional labor is not being able to rely on him to reassure me that it’s not my fault that I didn’t like the sex, because this conversation has turned into my reassuring him, again. . . .
Emotional labor is managing my male partners’ feelings around how often we have sex, and soothing their disappointment when they expected to have sex (even though I never said we would) and then didn’t, and explaining why I didn’t want to have sex this time, and making sure we “at least cuddle a little before bed” even though after all of this, to be quite honest, the last thing I f–king want is to touch him.

Miriam Mogilevsky does not like sex with men, because she does not like men, and she is tired of doing the “emotional labor” of pretending otherwise. She is tired of men with low self-esteem who expect her to pretend she is capable of “love” for a male and being “attracted” to a male, although no male “partner” ever does anything right.

Guys, what part of shut up and go away don’t you understand?

Emotional labor is when my partners decide they don’t want to be in a relationship with me anymore, but rather than directly communicating this to me, they start ignoring me or being mean for weeks until I have to ask what’s going on, hear that “I guess I’m just not into you anymore,” and then have to be the one to suggest breaking up. For extra points, then I have to comfort them about the breakup.

This is “because most men have been intentionally deprived of the language and tools to even think about these sorts of issues,” Ms. Mogilevsky complains of her ex-boyfriends. Even when the guy takes the hint — shut up and go away — he does it wrong.

Miriam Mogilevsky is 24 years old. She got her bachelor’s degree in psychology from Northwestern University in 2013 and recently completed a master’s degree in social work at Columbia University. She takes a sadistic pleasure in inspiring fear in men, and evidently believes that what the world needs most is more feminist lectures from Miriam Mogilevsky. She is a walking stereotype of the self-important narcissistic Millennial who expects us to be impressed that she is “passionate about social justice, feminism, sexuality [and] atheism,” as if there weren’t at least 10,000 young feminists exactly like her on Tumblr.

They are a dime a dozen, these fervent young progressives, providing an endless supply of “social justice” that far exceeds anyone’s actual demand. One wonders why they bother to go to college at all, as no special training is necessary to whine and complain, which is all they ever do. When they get out into the real world and discover how hard it is to make a living, they’ll whine and complain about that. Miriam Mogilevsky whines and complains that men are craving her companionship, compelling her to engage in “relationships” in which she is expected to perform “emotional labor.” And this a social injustice.

Guys: Learn to take a hint. Learn to walk away.

If a woman tells you she is a feminist, say nothing and walk away.

No feminist wants to hear what a man has to say, and life is too short to waste your time talking to feminists. Just walk away.

Leave feminists alone, and then they can complain about that.




 

Category: Sex Trouble

Comments

115 Responses to “Feminists, and How to Avoid Them”

  1. DeadMessenger
    August 13th, 2015 @ 12:51 am

    Tick checks? Cripes, Wombat!

  2. DeadMessenger
    August 13th, 2015 @ 12:56 am

    *I* care how guys feel. So long as he’s not whiny about it. When Mr. DM cuts loose, I let him, and I throw in “that bitch!” and “what an asshole!” at the appropriate points. And he does the same, because he knows that if I want actual help, I’ll preface the rant with “I need help with this”. It’s kind of like a safety word, lol.

  3. DeadMessenger
    August 13th, 2015 @ 1:01 am

    I’m not looking. I’m just wondering if you can link me to the Thor costume…asking for a friend.

  4. Fail Burton
    August 13th, 2015 @ 3:00 am

    “Vanilla bitches”? We have a name for animals like that.

  5. Dystopia Max
    August 13th, 2015 @ 3:55 am

    “Walk away”? No. Chase away. Feminists do not confront or even troll, concern or otherwise, openly masculine and aggressive men. They desire them, then start tarring their innocent/trusting/beta boyfriends and hubbies about the horrible qualities of the 1% of men they pine after.

    Solution: Don’t be that guy who leaves or sits there and takes it. This is seen as validation. Shut it down forcefully. Walking away is seen as validation. Standing up to them is the only way to kill these attitudes dead, both among them and their female friends who encourage them.

    And if you don’t have male friends willing to do this, find them and get to know them.

  6. Quartermaster
    August 13th, 2015 @ 5:25 am

    There are worse things to have to check for…..

  7. totenhenchen
    August 13th, 2015 @ 6:17 am

    Emotional labor is pretending her cats actually give a shit about her.

  8. Matthew W
    August 13th, 2015 @ 6:52 am

    Three things:
    1: She is a major headcase
    2: She doesn’t know conservative alpha males
    3: She is a major headcase

  9. Matthew W
    August 13th, 2015 @ 7:09 am

    “I’m Thor !!!”
    “You’re thor? I’m so thor I can hardly pith!”

  10. Southern Air Pirate
    August 13th, 2015 @ 7:19 am

    Questions from the peanut gallery

    1. This emotional labor thingy. Isn’t that like what make relationships work? I mean the intro to intra personal psychology I took in freshman college was all about the work that goes into making a relationship happen. It doesn’t matter if it’s man vs woman, parent vs child, friend vs friend, business vs customer, employer vs employee; it involves all of that stuff.

    2. Has she tried a relationship with a woman. Just asking since it’s envogue with all the feminists today. That maybe she would realize that emotional labor crossed sex boundaries and represents a human condition to be acknowledged and loved and made part of the tribe.

    3. Maybe has she tried some intra reflection and seen that it she isn’t making any of her relationships work and that she is giving off both verbal and non verbal clues that she wants a man. Again that biology thingy where they well need testosterone around to complete that human biology thing she didn’t study in school. Contrary to what her rational brain wants she has needs at the animal level that can only be solved by testosterone.

  11. Southern Air Pirate
    August 13th, 2015 @ 7:21 am

    http://m.partycity.com/products/adult%2Bsassy%2Bthor%2Bcostume%2Bdeluxe

  12. Art Deco
    August 13th, 2015 @ 7:25 am

    In fairness, this is not rare among women who have no political affiliations at all. Not typical, but not rare. If I were to judge from proximate family members, I would guess roughly 15% of the female population is like this.

  13. Ilion
    August 13th, 2015 @ 7:48 am

    “No feminist wants to hear what a man has to say, and life is too short to waste your time taking to …”

    Even most women who don’t consider themselves feminists aren’t all that interested in what men have to say, and aren’t all that interested in men’s needs.

    Just one example: air conditioning in public spaces. It’s recently become a “thing” about how sexist it is that the air conditioning in most public spaces is calibrated to the comfort levels of men, rather than of women.

    Somehow, the concept that just maybe the women shouldn’t be expecting to dress like they’re on the beach — look, lady, this is an office: you have no business trying to advertise how “hot” you are to us — just never arises, and it would be “sexist” to suggest it to them.

    Myself, I first noticed this back in 1999, when I was working as a contractor in a State office in Columbus. The women controlled the setting on the air conditioning, and they set it on “sweltering” … so that they could come into the office in skimpy outfits. Meanwhile, we men were close to passing out due to the heat.

    One day, when it was exceptionally bad, somehow or other the topic came up when the office manager and her BFF were at my desk. Her response was that dismissive hand-wave that womwn do, and the statement that, “Oh! You’re just a man”.

  14. Isa
    August 13th, 2015 @ 7:58 am

    “Well, if you don’t like the Thor costume, five pounds of silly putty and the wok, then say so up front, dammit!”

    that one got a chuckle out of me.

  15. Ilion
    August 13th, 2015 @ 8:22 am

    Oh, now! Men aren’t that “simple” … nor that easily controlled.

    =====
    The *real* reason you don’t have sex until after you’re good and married is that by having sex before you are married, you both ruin it for yourselves and for one another.

    The deepest ruining that pre-marital sex does to the relationship (to all aspects of it) is from the woman’s point of view.

    When a woman has pre-marital sex with “the man she loves”, she is, in fact, using sex as a means to manipulate him. This sets up a dynamic in the relationship — and even after they marry, for her, sex is primarily a tool for manipulating her man. Thus, she doesn’t enjoy what ought to the “mutual giving of the self, each to the other”.

  16. Ilion
    August 13th, 2015 @ 8:26 am

    Indeed: if there is no cake, then all the icing in the world can’t make up for that lack.

  17. BlueSunday
    August 13th, 2015 @ 8:30 am

    Interesting. She talks about how men don’t pick up on her “non-verbal cues”, forcing her to articulate herself, at great emotional expense…. but then complains when men express themselves in non-verbal cues when they want out of a relationship.

  18. Ilion
    August 13th, 2015 @ 8:34 am

    “1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
    You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down..
    We need it up, you need it down.    ”

    I have realized (*) that *that* whole quarrel is about ritual purity. The toilet seat is “unclean”, and so women (**) don’t want to touch it, lest doing so make tham “unclean”, too.

    (*) after seeing a comercial for a “handle” to be attached (by a man, of course) to the toilet seat, so that “you never have to touch it again”

    (**) hell, I’m a man and I tend to lift it using my foot, rather than my hand

  19. Ilion
    August 13th, 2015 @ 8:37 am

    see my post above for the explanation

    or below, as the case may be.

  20. Gunga
    August 13th, 2015 @ 8:42 am

    Have you ever met a Psych major that didn’t choose the subject because they wanted to understand their own messed up lives?

  21. Ilion
    August 13th, 2015 @ 8:42 am

    One up-vote wasn’t enough.

  22. Ilion
    August 13th, 2015 @ 8:50 am

    Moreover, a man (or a woman) who is so self-centered that he (or she) is always checking the level of his (or her) “self-esteem” probably isn’t going to have a whole lot of self-respect.

  23. Ilion
    August 13th, 2015 @ 8:54 am

    It’s the old “I want to eat my cake and to have it, too” gambit. Been a problem with human beings ever since there were any.

    In fact, cakes were invented just so that we could explain the gambit to ourselves.

  24. Gunga
    August 13th, 2015 @ 9:11 am

    She she fakes her way through relationships, then she wonders why guys don’t connect with her. Goldfish are more self-aware (and apparently, so are the males at Columbia).

  25. Art Deco
    August 13th, 2015 @ 9:29 am

    Has she tried a relationship with a woman. Just asking since it’s
    envogue with all the feminists today. That maybe she would realize that
    emotional labor crossed sex boundaries and represents a human condition
    to be acknowledged and loved and made part of the tribe.

    The disreputable Mr. Sailer some months back offered his readers a precis of a study he’d read on homosexual pseudogamy in households with children. Mr. Sailer’s pithy description of lesbians-and-children formations was as follows: “like a household with two single mothers: a lot of drama; not a lot of money”.

  26. Art Deco
    August 13th, 2015 @ 9:38 am

    She’s always going to have the same problems, because she’s the once creating them.

    A co-worker of mine who’d been put out on the curb by his wife (at age 35) for no very consequential reason was fond of the Demotivators poster which said “The one consistent element in all your dissatisfying relationships is you”.

    (The actor David Birney has made this point quite cogently and elegantly, but he’s allowed his domain name to expire so it’s no longer available).

  27. Southern Air Pirate
    August 13th, 2015 @ 9:44 am

    That is what I thought her whole position as presented here represents a fight against biological responses to the conditions that makes us an animal. That is the needs and wants to be in a pack/tribe whatever and all the baggage that comes from trying to find that right pecking order to be happy. It’s one of those Mazlow hierarchy things as well. Guess she missed it during her womyn studies. Again basic psych 101 principles that everyone wants to feel love and will return love in exchange. Wonder what her pre college social life and home life was like to cause her to reject basic human needs or even reject her humanity.

  28. Joe
    August 13th, 2015 @ 9:55 am

    Yeah, it means, “woman who isn’t a wretched slut with low morals”.

  29. DeadMessenger
    August 13th, 2015 @ 10:17 am

    With you, I’m afraid to ask.

  30. DeadMessenger
    August 13th, 2015 @ 10:40 am

    You make it sound dirty and wrong.

    I mean, if, by the force of my lucious feminine pulchritude and impressive array of weaponry, men willingly become my love slaves, that is hardly my fault. 😀

  31. Ilion
    August 13th, 2015 @ 11:41 am

    I really need to … umm, “liberate” … that “goldfish are more self-aware” line

  32. ExiledOnMainStreet
    August 13th, 2015 @ 11:54 am

    The amusing thing is that the “men” she is with are undoubtedly gamma male pajama boys who bend over backwards to please her and cry into their pillows when she frowns at them and she still sees them as inconsiderate, testosterone-fueled slobs.

  33. ExiledOnMainStreet
    August 13th, 2015 @ 12:01 pm

    That’s a good way of putting it – “misers with love.” Accepting that marriage and children put constraints on a woman’s behavior (and on a man’s also) and accepting those constraints for the good of the relationship and your family – well, that’s something no feminist can tolerate. That makes you an awful Stepford Wife. Feminism means you’re all about ME, ME, ME at all times.

  34. Daniel Freeman
    August 13th, 2015 @ 12:07 pm

    One of my regular bars is a saloon — the kind where people drop peanut shells on the floor — and there’s a song in regular rotation where the refrain is, “I’d like to check you for ticks.” It always makes me grin.

  35. Gunga
    August 13th, 2015 @ 2:05 pm

    Me too! Thirty-one years this week! Wait…NAH…

  36. PCachu
    August 13th, 2015 @ 2:13 pm

    Nononono. You misheard.

    Deep well of EMOTION.

    Singular. It’s just the one, but they have LOTS of it.

  37. Wombat_socho
    August 13th, 2015 @ 2:35 pm

    You go out and have sex in the woods, and God only knows what bloodsucking vermin will attach themselves to your anatomy. Never had that issue with couches.

  38. Wombat_socho
    August 13th, 2015 @ 2:37 pm

    It’s even worse when you get a woman who *says* she wants to hear all about your feelings, only to recoil when you’re honest about it. That’s a lesson I only had to be taught once.

  39. Wombat_socho
    August 13th, 2015 @ 2:38 pm

    More like Beria. Comrade Lavrenty loved the little children, IYKWIMAITYD. 🙁

  40. Anon Y. Mous
    August 13th, 2015 @ 2:51 pm

    Feminists, and How to Avoid Them

    This from a guy who’s up to his eyeballs in feminists? Physician, heal thyself!

  41. Wombat_socho
    August 13th, 2015 @ 3:01 pm

    Weak troll, 0/10

  42. Art Deco
    August 13th, 2015 @ 3:20 pm

    Why ‘undoubtedly’? They could be fictional or they could be fairly ordinary young men of a certain class who got tired of her fairly quickly.

  43. Art Deco
    August 13th, 2015 @ 3:23 pm

    Women, especially, don’t give a damn about a guy’s feelings.

    They care a great deal when you’re giving them an angry dressing down.

  44. Art Deco
    August 13th, 2015 @ 3:25 pm

    I’ve never encountered any such woman. I do think the moderator is painting with a brush too broad. The overwhelming majority of men are satisficers, not ‘winners’ or ‘losers’.

  45. Ilion
    August 13th, 2015 @ 4:07 pm

    Doesn’t know how to spell ‘mouse’, either.

  46. Jerry Beckett
    August 13th, 2015 @ 4:07 pm

    “Emotional labor is reassuring my partner over and over that yes, I love him, yes, I find him attractive, yes, I truly want to be with him, because he will not do the work of developing his self-esteem and relies on me to bandage those constantly-reopening wounds.”

    Yes, because no man has had to do that for a woman, ever.

    Sheesh.

  47. Art Deco
    August 13th, 2015 @ 4:20 pm

    To be repetitive: she’s stupefyingly self-centered. Alice von Hildebrand offered a while back that self-centered people called themselves ‘sensitive’ and that they suffered much, but since the suffering was self-inflicted it did not merit our sympathy.

  48. Art Deco
    August 13th, 2015 @ 4:22 pm

    In the words of Adam Sandler, “Bullsh*t! What kind of cake can’t you eat?”. The though of a cake ‘had’ and not ‘eaten’ brings to mind Miss Havisham in Great Expectations. Who wants that?

  49. Art Deco
    August 13th, 2015 @ 4:23 pm

    I had the opposite problem of two female co-workers who had the window open in the middle of winter. They were women of a certain age.

  50. Art Deco
    August 13th, 2015 @ 4:28 pm

    Perhaps, but I’d wager she is abraded by everyday life, and has no coherent idea of what she desires.

    One of Mr. Dalrock’s votaries offered some food for thought: men tend to be governed by their desires “I want this, therefore I will do that”. Women tend to be governed by their aversions, “I do not want this, therefore I will do that”. Consider the possibility that she’s so constructed that she’s averse to everything and her mind and heart give her no stable or reliable guidance at all.