The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

‘Nice Guys,’ Failure, Self-Pity and Cruelty

Posted on | August 19, 2015 | 137 Comments

Bailey Poland (@the_author_) is a fairly typical example of how feminism attracts sadistic women by offering them ideological justification for their impulses toward anti-male cruelty. Because of confirmation bias and epistemic closure, however, once a woman enters the feminist echo chamber, it becomes impossible for her to understand her own impulsive responses as emotion, per se.

Feminism as an ideology functions to rationalize negative emotions like self-pity and envy and, because the echo chamber reinforces this rationalizing discourse (“the personal is political”), it becomes impossible for feminists to separate personal problems from the political rhetoric by which she constructs her identity. Because feminism naturally attracts to its banner women with profound resentments toward males, the movement incentivizes a discourse of cruelty, where men are portrayed as underserving of respect, love or sympathy. The more a feminist expresses an anti-male rhetoric that demonizes males, the more encouragement she will receive from within the movement. This is why radical hatemongers — from Mary Daly and Catharine MacKinnon to Jaclyn Friedman and Meghan Murphy — have always found feminism to be such a rewarding career field.

Until yesterday, I had never heard of Bailey Poland, but I included one of her tweets in a roundup about the feminist hashtag campaign #ThingsFeministMenHaveSaidToMe, and someone in the comments remarked, “I loathe Bailey Poland. She’s one of the most loathsome, divisive, and nit picky, yet totally self righteous feminists on Twitter.” Oh, really? This claim required investigation, and I quickly verified the commenter’s assertion. Then I began to read articles Ms. Poland had written about “toxic masculinity” and “benevolent sexism,” and then finally, “nice guys”:

The “nice guy” has made “being nice to women” his defining trait in attempting to get women to go out with him, and his niceness begins to wear thinner and become more and more brittle as he learns this does not work.
The “nice guy” has an image of himself that is fundamentally at odds with his actual behavior. He often sees himself as chivalrous, respectful to women, attentive to the women he wants to pursue romantically, and deserving of affection or romance in return. He sees his behavior as genuinely nice, and has been told all his life that niceness is rewarded. He will hone in on one woman or a few women and idealize them to the point of perfection, befriending them in the hopes that they will relive a dozen teen movies wherein the romantic interest realizes she should have been with her best friend all along. . . .
His niceness is a sham, and a tool for gaining what he perceives as leverage in earning or winning a romantic relationship. The “nice guy” tends to perceive himself as passionate and tender, while his targets see him as grasping and manipulative. . . .
The basic problem with “nice guys” is their sense of entitlement to relationships or sex with women based on nothing more than being nice to them. However, women see through this — and niceness that is performed in service of gaining something from a woman is not actually all that nice to begin with, and it certainly is not a free pass to demand anything from anyone. . . .
When “nice guys” complain that women only date jerks, they often just mean that women are acting outside the imaginary roles they’ve been assigned — women are dating men who do not meet the “nice guy” ideal of performing very specific types of behavior for a reward. Many of the men who are perceived as jerks may actually not be perfect guys, but they’re often honest about it in ways that allow for the negotiations of an adult relationship to take place. . . .
The other major problem with “nice guys” is that it’s not just their niceness that’s a sham. They also often hate women, but rely on romantic or sexual attachments to fuel their sense of self-worth. When the niceness gambit fails and they feel they have been denied something to which they’re entitled, “nice guy” misogyny often follows close behind. In addition to accusing women of being shallow, sleeping only with jerks, or “friendzoning” them, they will also frequently hurl a variety of gender-based slurs at the very women they claimed to idolize.

You can read the whole thing. We must begin by stipulating that the “nice guy” is a particularly pathetic kind of loser. Rather than confront his own shortcomings and failures, he basically throws a pity party for himself. The reason he keeps losing, he tells himself, is because others fail to recognize his superiority. He actually deserves to be with a Kate Upton lookalike, to be worshipped by women for his own special qualities, and the reason he keeps losing is because the world is unfair. The “nice guy” believes he has been wrongly cheated out of the romantic reward to which he is entitled, as a right, and any guy who travels very far down that road is apt to become dangerous to himself and others. Soaking in the juices of his resentful self-pity, a “nice guy” can become a monster — Elliot Rodger was an extreme example of where this mentality can lead.

Feminists, however, are not interested in helping men like this. Instead, feminists use these maladjusted losers as weapons in a permanent campaign to demonize males for “misogyny,” et cetera.

Males are always damned if they do, damned if they don’t in feminist discourse, which is an exercise in Kafkatrapping, where the point is to humiliate males in order to justify the feminist’s exercise of her punitive authority. This is what Bailey Poland does with her “nice guy” column. She paints these losers as undeserving of sympathy, characterizing their misguided idealism as “misogyny,” in order to justify cruelty as a response to male attention. She herself has zero sympathy for males experiencing romantic disappointment, and believes that no other woman should, either. And her conclusion is self-serving pseudo-sympathetic “advice” to the pathetic losers she despises:

Be kind instead of nice. This requires a shift in thinking about your own behavior, “nice guys.” Do things for people without expecting anything in return. Think about what your friends actually need or want, and help them achieve it or acquire it without thinking you deserve anything more than a “thank you” from them. You’ll be surprised how often people do more for you when an act of kindness on your part doesn’t come with any strings attached.
Get used to just being friends with women. Often, a “nice guy” is not capable of seeing friendship with women as good enough on its own; the relationship must be taken to the “next level” to be worth anything. This is not a healthy way to approach women, and it makes the women you are interested in feel used and disrespected. Being friends with women is rewarding because having friends is rewarding — sex should only come into it when both parties are interested, not when the friendship is being used as a springboard into a fantasy relationship.

Translation: “Give me everything I want, loser, then go away and leave me alone, because men never deserve anything, period.”

Bailey Poland feels no obligation of kindness to males, yet requires males to treat her exactly as she wants to be treated, because otherwise she has been “disrespected” by these miserable losers.

The feminist can be as cruel and selfish as she wants to be, but any male who behaves similarly is condemned for “misogyny.” Bailey Poland derides men who seek a “fantasy relationship,” but what about her own fantasies? Yeah, buddy — her with the whip in her hand, and you on your knees, helplessly begging for mercy.

Guys, just walk away. There are more than 3.5 billion women in the world, not all of whom are cold-hearted monsters who demand that you genuflect at the throne of the Bitch Goddess.

One of the things my father taught me is, “It never hurts to ask. The worst they can tell you is ‘no.'” This advice was offered in the context of salesmanship or seeking employment, but it’s equally applicable to the search for love. If you’ve ever been involved in direct sales — knocking on doors, cold-calling strangers, hustling to make that sale — you know how crucial it is to overcome your own self-consciousness, to learn how to handle rejection without becoming demoralized.

“Just win, baby” — Al Davis had it right. There is no substitute for victory, but you can’t win if you don’t play the game, and it is foolish to hope you’ll be undefeated in every season. What is important is to maintain your morale, and not to become so discouraged by a losing streak that you surrender to despair.

Pay attention, guys: Never talk to a feminist.

Do not waste time on sadistic women who hate you.

No matter how “nice” you are to a feminist, she will never respect you. The feminist always mistakes male kindness for weakness, and is incapable of gratitude toward males, so that being “nice” to her will only serve to convince her of how infinitely contemptible you are — a servile lackey, a fawning slave who appeals to her sadistic impulses.

Never talk to a feminist. Never look at a feminist.

If you know that a woman is a feminist, avoid being in her presence, because the feminist has no interest in males except as demonized objects of fear, hate, scorn and ridicule. Wherever the feminist is, make it a point to be somewhere else, and do not associate with anyone within the feminist’s circle of hateful influence.

Feminism is a vortex of negativity so intense as to extinquish all positivity in its vicinity. Anyone who associates with a feminist risks being sucked into her gravitional force-field of soul-killing evil.

Here’s the thing, guys: Never explain to the feminist why you are shunning her. Don’t argue with her. Don’t tell her off. Master the habit of silence in her presence, insofar as you are unable to avoid her presence. If you’re talking with a group of your friends and the feminist interrupts, this is your cue to end the conversation and, if possible, walk away.

We are currently experiencing a resurgence of radical feminism, what might be called a “Fourth Wave.” We can perceive a return to the vehement man-hating tendencies of the “Second Wave” of the early 1970s, a reversal of the postmodernist “Third Wave” that began in the ’90s. The toxic feminism of Daly/Dworkin/MacKinnon has been resuscitated, and wherever this poison spreads, its effect will invariably be lethal to heterosexuality. Young men must therefore enforce a cordon sanitaire around those women infected with the feminist virus until this anti-male pandemic burns itself out in a frenzy of lesbian rage.

Trust me on this, guys. “Hunt where the ducks are.” Feminists don’t like men, and they spread their contempt for males to every woman around them, so wherever feminism is, be somewhere else.




 

Category: Sex Trouble

Comments

137 Responses to “‘Nice Guys,’ Failure, Self-Pity and Cruelty”

  1. DeadMessenger
    August 20th, 2015 @ 1:03 am

    I take it you’re not in the Alan Alda fan club? 😀

  2. DeadMessenger
    August 20th, 2015 @ 1:05 am

    [melts] OK, wait, I take that all back. “c’mere lady”…you had me at “c’mere”. : )

  3. DeadMessenger
    August 20th, 2015 @ 1:10 am

    You’re so cool, JV. : )

  4. DeadMessenger
    August 20th, 2015 @ 1:12 am

    Oh. My. Gosh. McCain quotes GWTW. (Sigh) Mrs. Stacy is a lucky woman.

  5. DeadMessenger
    August 20th, 2015 @ 1:15 am

    Don’t be so hasty, J. Could you just, you know, fax me your financial records? Maybe we could have A Thing. Hahahahaha!

  6. DeadMessenger
    August 20th, 2015 @ 1:18 am

    I couldn’t have looked at you without projectile vomiting.

    OK, that was a joke, and only because you set yourself up, LOL.

  7. DeadMessenger
    August 20th, 2015 @ 1:23 am

    Women DO know what they want. Say whatever, but then call me “babe” and tell me how my whisky-brown eyes turn you on. Then kiss me on the neck, and I’m your slave.

    It’s all about biology and hormones, “babe”.

    I think maybe feminists have a hormone problem, or something.

  8. DeadMessenger
    August 20th, 2015 @ 1:27 am

    I think the issue at hand is that self-professed mentally ill lesbian (or confused) feminists don’t understand how actual women think or operate. My Mom taught me, “When in doubt, make a pie”, and frankly, that has carried me my entire adult life, honestly, for everyone (chocolate for women, fruit for men).

    Maybe the feminist’s moms dropped the ball…

  9. DeadMessenger
    August 20th, 2015 @ 1:28 am

    I must disagree. Chris Evans as Captain America. 😀

    OK, that requires more :D.

  10. DeadMessenger
    August 20th, 2015 @ 1:29 am

    So…you’re cheating on the exam, Daniel? 😀

  11. DeadMessenger
    August 20th, 2015 @ 1:30 am

    Eeyup.

  12. DeadMessenger
    August 20th, 2015 @ 1:31 am

    Yes, and McCain is starting a radical movement.

  13. DeadMessenger
    August 20th, 2015 @ 1:32 am

    To paraphrase Bailey: “Derp.”

  14. DeadMessenger
    August 20th, 2015 @ 1:33 am

    Tip jar hit.

  15. DeadMessenger
    August 20th, 2015 @ 1:35 am

    Thank you for admitting that it’s not only women who are crazy.

  16. DeadMessenger
    August 20th, 2015 @ 1:36 am

    I know. (Sigh)

  17. DeadMessenger
    August 20th, 2015 @ 1:42 am

    That’s quite subtle. I’m not sure I understand.

    /sarc

  18. DeadMessenger
    August 20th, 2015 @ 1:44 am

    I also live in FL. Central FL, on the coast. I have a husband to mow in 115F, while I do laundry indoors in the a/c. BWAHAHAHA!

  19. DeadMessenger
    August 20th, 2015 @ 1:50 am

    Bogus. I want a guy who says, “You know what? F**k this noise. I’ve got better sh1t to do.” ‘Cause I’ve got better sh1t to do, too. And it involves getting on with our lives instead of playing head games.

  20. DeadMessenger
    August 20th, 2015 @ 1:52 am

    You said “lardbeast”. BWAHAHAHA! Is your copper friend available! /joke…been married for 31 years. But if I weren’t, your copper friend sounds like fun. 😀

  21. mole
    August 20th, 2015 @ 1:59 am

    Hes one of those happy relationship stories, married for 20+ years to the same lady, 3 kids, both were the big “V”s when they met.

    Makes me sick, they are so…happy and…normal and….nice…

  22. Jason Lee
    August 20th, 2015 @ 2:17 am

    Unfortunately, the dysgenic feminist mindset has poisoned society far beyond their witchy circles, encouraging pointless careerism and making child-rearing and family building so unfashionable that fertility rates are barely above replacement levels even in Red America.

  23. Jason Lee
    August 20th, 2015 @ 2:20 am

    Imagining Stacy’s church… hilarious

  24. Quartermaster
    August 20th, 2015 @ 4:58 am

    My observation is all progtards are crazy, regardless of sex.

  25. robertstacymccain
    August 20th, 2015 @ 6:10 am

    My point is to expose the esoteric doctrine of the movement. People have been deceived by feminism’s exoteric discourse — “equality,” “progress,” etc. — so that the movement’s underlying anti-male/anti-heterosexual ideology has escaped the kind of scrutiny it deserves. Feminism is a totalitarian movement to destroy civilization as we know it, and until everybody recognizes that fact, I’ll be right here, hammering away, because people need to wake the hell up.

  26. robertstacymccain
    August 20th, 2015 @ 6:15 am

    “Feminism … can only survive in places like universities because its protected from criticism.”

    This is why my book focuses on feminism as it is taught in university Women’s Studies programs. Because of Title IX, anyone who directly challenged these teaching on a university campus would be at risk of an accusation of “harassment” or “discrimination.” Federal authority has permitted this — it’s a matter of public policy, you see — and the threat of a Title IX complaint is a potential career-killer in 21st-century academia. Feminists for the past 20-plus years have been using this as a weapon of terroristic intimidation to silence their critics within academia, so that there is almost no one under the age of 40 who has ever encountered serious, articulate criticism of the feminist movement’s ideology.

  27. M. Thompson
    August 20th, 2015 @ 6:18 am

    My amazing fiancée, who I’m marrying on Saturday, agrees with you on him.

  28. M. Thompson
    August 20th, 2015 @ 6:20 am

    Have you been giving my fiancée ideas here?

    Whenever she’s stressed, she starts to bake. Pie, cookies, etc.

    But then, she’s been doing it for years.

  29. Gunga
    August 20th, 2015 @ 6:35 am

    OK, now you get to explain the coffee on my monitor to the IT guy…

  30. Gunga
    August 20th, 2015 @ 7:30 am

    Sometimes the kind thing to do is to turn and walk away. This series on feminism leads me to believe that our host has a more than passing acquaintance with Sun Tzu. Stacy knows who he is and he knows his enemy…and he does not fight them where they are. If he hasn’t studied “the Art of War,” he has a better intuitive grasp of its concepts than most people who have.

  31. Jeanette Victoria
    August 20th, 2015 @ 7:40 am

    These people come from the shallow end of the gene pool they are as dumb as a box of rocks and loony as can be as well.

  32. RS
    August 20th, 2015 @ 7:45 am

    Defined by whom and upon what authority? My point is, when you concede a definition, you concede the argument. And by conceding the definition you create a bilateral solution set. That is, either “a” or “b.” That plays into the hands of the opposition.

    In this case, the “femblr” in question posits that “nice guys” are despicable losers. Our host writes a paragraph in agreement. Commenters here pile on. My position is the “Elliot Rogers” of world are not “nice guys.” Language means something. It would be better to argue that our “femblr” doesn’t understand what being “nice” really is, than agreeing with her definition and proceeding from there.

  33. Jeanette Victoria
    August 20th, 2015 @ 7:48 am

    LOL

  34. Jeanette Victoria
    August 20th, 2015 @ 7:49 am

    Not only that I didn’t like MASH

  35. Ilion
    August 20th, 2015 @ 8:36 am

    I first encountered the term “pussy whipped” when I was 18 or 19 (at a summer job in a small factory) when I overheard one of the women working there talking to another woman about some man they both apparently knew, explaining why he “got dumped”.

  36. Jeanette Victoria
    August 20th, 2015 @ 8:37 am

    “Pussy-boy” is another term used for these sensitive feeling babbling men.

  37. Ilion
    August 20th, 2015 @ 8:54 am

    Phil_McG:
    ““Women don’t know what they want, not on a
    conscious level they can articulate.    ”

    RSM:
    “The same is true of men …”

    What
    women *want* is to be cherished by a men whom they respect. What men *want* is to be respected by a woman
    whom they cherish.

    Normal
    men have a deep psychological *need* to cherish women in general and most have
    a need to cherish one woman in particular.
    I suspect (not being a woman, I’m not positive on this) that normal
    women may have a corresponding deep psychological *need* to respect men in
    general and that most may have a need to respect one man in particular.

    Everyone
    is so miserable, as men and as women, because somehow the leftists (of which
    feminism is but a sub-set) have convinced most of us that actively/consciously/deliberately
    pursuing that mutual and mutually complementary want is “boring”.

  38. Ilion
    August 20th, 2015 @ 9:00 am

    Congratulations

  39. Quartermaster
    August 20th, 2015 @ 9:40 am

    Prolly not. “nice” or not, feministas simply hate men of all stripes.

  40. Quartermaster
    August 20th, 2015 @ 9:41 am

    Oppressor! :-)))

  41. The Osprey
    August 20th, 2015 @ 9:45 am

    But he did anyway! “One sometimes gets the impression that the mere words ‘Socialism’ and ‘Communism’ draw towards them with magnetic force every fruit-juice drinker, nudist, sandal-wearer, sex-maniac, Quaker, ‘Nature Cure’ quack, pacifist, and feminist in England.”

  42. The Osprey
    August 20th, 2015 @ 9:50 am

    No, Stacy needs to be a songwriter. I have this recurring image of hundreds of Hawaiian shirt clad parrot heads, rum drinks in hand, singing “Why Do Drunk Sluts Get Drunk?”

  43. Ilion
    August 20th, 2015 @ 10:08 am

    But, do you also make sammiches?

  44. Quartermaster
    August 20th, 2015 @ 10:10 am

    You should know better by now that you don’t drink or eat anything while reading this site. Just fess up and take your medicine like a nice guy.

  45. Quartermaster
    August 20th, 2015 @ 10:12 am

    “…mentally ill lesbian feminists….”
    Are you always so redundant?

  46. JoeBee
    August 20th, 2015 @ 11:33 am

    This idiot has a whole new post up about anti-feminist stereotypes(all of which are true btw), and as if the only argument that can be made against feminists is that they’re “man-haters”. Of course, a group of syncophantic male allies are congratulating, and thanking her for the insipid, shallow, and trivial arguments.

  47. DeadMessenger
    August 20th, 2015 @ 11:52 am

    Frequently I redundantly repeat myself.

  48. DeadMessenger
    August 20th, 2015 @ 11:53 am

    of course! I am woman, hear me roar.

  49. DeadMessenger
    August 20th, 2015 @ 11:56 am

    It was like that when you got there. Life’s all-purpose explanation.

  50. DeadMessenger
    August 20th, 2015 @ 11:58 am

    You should marry her quickly – she sounds like a good woman!