The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

The Despicable David Brooks

Posted on | May 5, 2016 | 264 Comments

 

Once upon a time, David Brooks Fisking Day was celebrated here every Tuesday. The New York Times‘ token “conservative” column was so predictably wrong about nearly everything — his political instincts are so bad — that I had to lash him around every week just to relieve my system of the excess bile generated by reading his pretentious bulls–t. At least twice, circa 2007-2008, I walked out of events where Brooks spoke; the experience of being in the same room with him was intolerable. Once, a fews years ago, I found myself in a discussion with Jonah Goldberg as to which New York Times columnist was worse, David Brooks or Thomas Friedman. Goldberg insisted Friedman was worse than Brooks, and I suppose it’s a matter of opinion, but in my opinion, Goldberg is wrong. Friedman may be demonic, but David Brooks is Satan.

“Brooks should never be argued with — he should be mocked, and often, and by someone who knows how.”

Why do I hate David Brooks so much? Because I am a populist, a Jacksonian who believes that the American people deserve a government that serves their interests, and not the interests of a decadent elite. All elites eventually become decadent and corrupt. This is what history teaches, and our country is being ruined by the sort of people David Brooks rubs elbows with during his annual pilgrimages to Davos, deracinated cosmopolitans with no loyalty to anything, devoted to no principle except the increase of their own wealth, status and power. The comprehensive wrongness of David Brooks eventually became so glaringly apparent — about the time he expressed his admiration of Barack Obama’s pants creases — that everyone realized he is Satan. Once his diabolical wrongness was universally acknowledged, everybody with a blog got in on the Brooks-fisking game, and I lost interest in the sport. Nowadays, it takes a really spectacular exercise in Brooksian douchebaggery to get my attention, and he delivered such a specimen earlier this week:

Donald Trump now looks set to be the Republican presidential nominee. So for those of us appalled by this prospect — what are we supposed to do?
Well, not what the leaders of the Republican Party are doing. They’re going down meekly and hoping for a quiet convention. They seem blithely unaware that this is a Joe McCarthy moment. People will be judged by where they stood at this time. Those who walked with Trump will be tainted forever after for the degradation of standards and the general election slaughter. . . .

OK, let me interrupt this to make an important announcement. I hadn’t been planning to do this, but I now officially endorse Donald Trump.

If David Brooks hates Donald Trump, then it is my duty as a patriotic American to love Donald Trump. And if David Brooks says the fall election will be a “slaughter” for Republicans, this means Trump will win. And now let’s return to the total wrongness of David Brooks:

The suicide rate has surged to a 30-year high — a sure sign of rampant social isolation. . . .

(No, the high suicide rate is caused by the existential despair of Americans who understand that Barack Obama has destroyed their country.)

A record number of Americans believe the American dream is out of reach. And for millennials, social trust is at historic lows.
Trump’s success grew out of that pain, but he is not the right response to it. The job for the rest of us is to figure out the right response. . . .

(Who is “the rest of us,” Mr. Brooks?  Clueless douchebags on Pinch Sulzberger’s payroll? The people you hang out with in Davos?)

I was surprised by Trump’s success because I’ve slipped into a bad pattern, spending large chunks of my life in the bourgeois strata — in professional circles with people with similar status and demographics to my own.

(Which is to say, clueless douchebags.)

It takes an act of will to rip yourself out of that and go where you feel least comfortable. But this column is going to try to do that over the next months and years. We all have some responsibility to do one activity that leaps across the chasms of segmentation that afflict this country. . . .
Up until now, America’s story has been some version of the rags-to-riches story, the lone individual who rises from the bottom through pluck and work. But that story isn’t working for people anymore, especially for people who think the system is rigged. . . .
We’ll probably need a new definition of masculinity, too. There are many groups in society who have lost an empire but not yet found a role. Men are the largest of those groups. The traditional masculine ideal isn’t working anymore. It leads to high dropout rates, high incarceration rates, low labor force participation rates. This is an economy that rewards emotional connection and verbal expressiveness. Everywhere you see men imprisoned by the old reticent, stoical ideal.

You can read the rest, but I must warn you that reading David Brooks columns can lead to existential despair and suicide. Honestly, I’d rather read Third Wave feminist theory textbooks. At least feminists are honest about hating men, hating America, hating God and everything else.

What is so despicable about David Brooks is his condescending attitude, his insuperable conviction that he is better than the rest of us, more intelligent and sensitive — all that “emotional connection and verbal expression,” you see. And as he departs on his tour of the American hinterlands, ripping himself out of the “bourgeois strata” to leap across “the chasms of segmentation,” I hope David Brooks gets what he deserves, namely to be beaten to a bloody pulp by a tattooed redneck.

This would be a triumph of social justice, really and it’s not hard to imagine how it would happen, either. Probably at a Waffle House.

“Hey, buddy, you look kinda familiar,” says the truck driver, while he’s paying at the cash register. “Don’t I know you from somewhere?”

“You’ve probably seen me on Meet the Press or PBS Newshour,” says Brooks, who has been sitting at the counter, studying the menu and wondering why there’s no espresso. “My name’s David Brooks.”

“Well, doggone it, I thought so,” laughs the trucker. “I was just thinking to myself, that fellow looks like he writes for New York Times.”

“Thanks,” says Brooks, taking this as a compliment.

“So I guess you’re out here covering the election?” asks the trucker.

“No, actually, I’ve decided to leap across the chasms of segmentation that afflict this country, to mingle with the common folks in an effort to discover why men are imprisoned by a stoical ideal.”

“Oh, really?” says the trucker. And after listening patiently to Brooks prattle on about his ideas, the trucker will gesture toward the parking lot. “You ought to come take a look at my truck. It’s a fine one.”

After he accepts this invitation, David Brooks will probably be surprised to discover that his tour of the parking lot includes an old-fashioned stoical ass-whupping, and maybe the trucker will be prosecuted for assault, but really, who could pass up such an opportunity?

Oh, there’s a reason I always walked out a room whenever David Brooks walked in. Restraining my Jacksonian populist urges requires conscious effort sometimes, and it’s best not to risk an assault charge.

Look what he’s made me do here. I’ve endorsed Trump for pure spite. The worst thing David Brooks can imagine is Donald Trump winning the Republican nomination, but what would be worse for Brooks — what he cannot even imagine — is for Donald Trump to be elected president.

Let us rekindle our Jacksonian spirit, America. Let us ignore the advice of David Brooks and ask ourselves, “What would Old Hickory do?”

If we cannot punch David Brooks in the nose — and I apologize to my readers for having passed up the chance when I had it — then what can we do to fulfill our duty to our children and to our nation’s future? How can we avenge the numerous insults that David Brooks has heaped upon us? How can we escape the condemnation of future generations if, knowing that we had a moral obligation to do the exact opposite of whatever David Brooks said we should do, we did not do it? Our honor is at stake, you see.

David Brooks, a foul stain on the history of American journalism, has thrown down the gauntlet and challenged us to prove him wrong. He has predicted “general election slaughter” for Republicans as a consequence of Donald Trump winning the GOP primary campaign, and declared: “People will be judged by where they stood at this time.” Will people stand with David Brooks? Will people join this supercilious punk in his determination to see Hillary Clinton elected? God forbid!

However crazy it seems, we cannot say it is impossible for Donald Trump to be elected president, and if it is possible to elect Trump, then we are obliged to do all we can to make this happen, if only because a victory for Donald Trump would be a defeat for David Brooks.

Don’t blame me for this. Blame David Brooks. And, also, Satan.

But I repeat myself.





 


Category: David Brooks Fisking Day, Election

Comments

264 Responses to “The Despicable David Brooks”

  1. Wombat_socho
    May 5th, 2016 @ 9:10 am

    While I yield to no man in admiring your Jacksonian temperament, there are some things I will not do, even out of spite. One of them is supporting Donald Trump in any way, shape or form. “Here I stand, I can do no other.”

  2. Evan3457
    May 5th, 2016 @ 9:15 am

    I don’t feel I can go there with you, RSM.

    Brooks will continue to be a pretentious, delusional, douchenozzle, whether Trump wins or not.

  3. ChandlersGhost
    May 5th, 2016 @ 9:30 am

    “It takes an act of will to rip yourself out of that and go where you feel least comfortable. But this column is going to try to do that over the next months and years. We all have some responsibility to do one activity that leaps across the chasms of segmentation that afflict this country. . . .”

    I think he means Brooklyn.

  4. Charlotte Wiggs
    May 5th, 2016 @ 9:38 am

    I am there with you, Mr. McCain. Brooks is such a total douchebag. His patronizing attitude is deplorable. Behind closed doors he mocks everyone not of his ilk, guaranteed.

    Had to laugh when you stated above you would rather read feminist books. HAHAHAHAHA The way you broke down his words is totally hilarious. LOVING IT.

    Mr. Trump cannot in any way be worse than what we have now. And at least he loves this country, something that cannot be said about the present POTUS.

  5. Scoob
    May 5th, 2016 @ 9:40 am

    Excellent piece.

  6. jolly green
    May 5th, 2016 @ 9:49 am

    You prefer a Clinton presidency? Come on!

  7. Eric Ashley
    May 5th, 2016 @ 9:56 am

    Indeed. One of many reasons to support Trump. Judge the man by his enemies.

    I did see Ace of Spades saying this proves that his rivals, the socons are weaker. Hah. We’ve been continually shafted by the GOP, and now we’ve smacked the GOP in the mouth, and now they are getting down off their high horses, and bowing to Trump. Kiss the ring solibs.

    If the GOP had listened, but to Brooks and his kindred, listening is not on the agenda. So we had to send them a Nuclear Bomb to get their attention.

  8. Eric Ashley
    May 5th, 2016 @ 10:00 am

    He’s allowed to vote his conscience. As Bill Quick explained, at some point, all of us would not vote GOP. Now for some, it might take the RNC using necromancy to raise Zombie Ted Dahmer to be the candidate, but at some point we would.

    And perhaps once the angst subsides, he will reconsider as I think most NeverTrumpers will.

  9. DeadMessenger
    May 5th, 2016 @ 10:11 am

    I can’t do that either. One big reason is the irrationality of his supporters, one of whom couldn’t resist jumping into the comment thread here to once again display his own lack of intellectual prowess (just like his candidate!) They’re like pod people, quite frankly.

    I think at this point, I’d prefer Deadpool as a write-in candidate.

  10. DeadMessenger
    May 5th, 2016 @ 10:19 am

    Not seeing a substantive difference between Trump and Clinton, actually. Although, had Trump chosen to actually intelligently address policy issues, rather than stroke his own ego constantly, or reverse himself, I might have a different opinion. I mean seriously – do we even know where he really stands on any issue? I say we don’t.

    If we took Hillary and stuffed her into one of those “mystery grab bags” for sale in the back of 60’s comic books – you know, the ones that had a bunch of crap they couldn’t sell otherwise – that’s Trump. He’s like the prank gum that turns your teeth black, or the rubber cockroach you freeze into an ice cube.

  11. Trespassers W
    May 5th, 2016 @ 11:06 am

    Not even to scorn Brooks (a man so vile as to make lickpittles look honorable) would I support Trump.

  12. jolly green
    May 5th, 2016 @ 11:08 am

    I’ll vote Trump for the same reason McCain will: liberals, and the media loathe him, and if that’s the case he’s the right man for the job!

  13. jolly green
    May 5th, 2016 @ 11:10 am

    Compared to the irrationality of Clintons supporters whose retort to every argument over mass immigration is to scream “racism”? Nope, those people are zombies and this election is the line in the sand. It’s time to decapitate the left.

  14. jolly green
    May 5th, 2016 @ 11:11 am

    So, you’re supporting Clinton? Why do conservatives do this? The voters rejected Ted Cruz. Get over it.

  15. Adrienne
    May 5th, 2016 @ 11:12 am

    Excellent piece, Stacy. Linked

  16. jolly green
    May 5th, 2016 @ 11:16 am

    His conscience is essentially a vote for Hillary Clinton and the misery she will inflict on the general population.

  17. Eric Ashley
    May 5th, 2016 @ 11:48 am

    So you’re saying you’d vote for Zombie Ted Dahmer?

  18. Eric Ashley
    May 5th, 2016 @ 11:53 am

    This is part of the problem. We have people who say unreasonable things, and act like we’re supposed to take them seriously.

    I figure the best way to deal with them is to let them go thru the Kubler Ross Stages of Grieving, and get it over with.

    YMMV Jolly Green.

  19. Trespassers W
    May 5th, 2016 @ 12:00 pm

    Wrong. It is possible to oppose both. Get over it.

  20. Steve Skubinna
    May 5th, 2016 @ 12:07 pm

    If the alternative is President Hillary!, then hell yes I would.

    And I suspect you mean Jeffery Dahmer, right? Are you conflating Dahmer with Ted Bundy? Because that would be a dream ticket!

    Dahmer/Bundy 2016!

  21. Steve Skubinna
    May 5th, 2016 @ 12:11 pm

    So you dislike Brooks solely because he whores himself to those in power for nothing more than the opportunity to bask in their radiance, and is an amoral second rater who would happily herd others into the Gulag in exchange for a kick from his master?

    Pretty weak, man.

  22. Eric Ashley
    May 5th, 2016 @ 12:16 pm

    Thank you for the correction. Jeffrey Dahmer.

    So I take it you’re a sworn delegate for Cthulhu/SMOD? “Because why vote for the lesser evil?”

    🙂

  23. JeffWeimer
    May 5th, 2016 @ 12:17 pm

    Brooks and the NYT, Your Cousin John, the WaPo (headline: What Would Trump Do To America?); they’re all hell bent on making me vote for that jagoff.

  24. JeffWeimer
    May 5th, 2016 @ 12:19 pm

    The time to decapitate the left is evergreen, but we decapitated Conservatism beforehand.

  25. Zilla of the Resistance
    May 5th, 2016 @ 12:23 pm

    Hooray!

  26. Adrienne
    May 5th, 2016 @ 1:03 pm

    Zilla – please refrain from displaying your lack of intellectual prowess or you’ll be sending poor DeadMessenger screaming and running for his safe space. Heh

  27. gunga
    May 5th, 2016 @ 1:43 pm

    You missed the opportunity to write a, “Will Success Spoil David Brooks” article…could have been hilarious…

  28. Evi L. Bloggerlady
    May 5th, 2016 @ 1:49 pm

    There’s an option: Not helping Hillary or Trump. And mocking David Brooks is always good.

  29. jolly green
    May 5th, 2016 @ 2:02 pm

    Not helping Trump helps Hillary.

  30. Steve Skubinna
    May 5th, 2016 @ 2:07 pm

    Trump is a very questionable candidate. However, with Hillary there is no question whatever. For all of Trump’s character flaws and all-over-the-map policy statements, he at least employs people, while Hillary cackles and brags about all the ones she’ll put out of work.

    I am this close (he said, holding his thumb and forefinger a quarter inch apart) from joining the “Let It Burn” camp, except that I know that will be even worse. I’ve been to Somalia. I remember when Mad Max was in the theaters. I figure the best case scenario for America after the collapse will be something like China in the 1930s. I have no desire to hunker down atop my hill, shooting idiot progressives from Olympia fleeing the mutant zombie Nazi bikers.

    I think a Trump presidency will be detrimental, I know a Hillary one will be disastrous. She is actually campaigning against the things her husband did that were successful. My emphasis has shifted from keeping the nomination away from Trump to keeping Hillary out of the Oval Office.

    It isn’t “the lesser of two evils,” it’s choosing the least worst case scenario.

  31. Steve Skubinna
    May 5th, 2016 @ 2:11 pm

    The Republican party is in the hands of idiots and opportunists. The Democrats are run by villains and opportunists. What is pathetic is that the latter will do anything to win, but the former are content merely to be invited to the right cocktail parties.

    We’re at the point in our political history where principle and message will not win, but sheer ruthlessness will. The Dems have already shown they’ll do whatever it takes to gain and keep power.

    Trump isn’t that ruthless. He’s running on ego.

  32. Steve Skubinna
    May 5th, 2016 @ 2:13 pm

    And by opposing both we get Hillary. Enjoy your principled stand, you can tell us all “Don’t blame me, I stood that election out” as we toil in Hillary’s Gulag.

  33. Steve Skubinna
    May 5th, 2016 @ 2:14 pm

    Oh, just wait for RSM’s reaction when Andrew Sullivan pens the inevitable “Hillary is the only true conservative in the race” column.

  34. gunga
    May 5th, 2016 @ 2:14 pm

    Are you knocking on doors fro Trump right now? If not, then right now, you’re helping Hillary. Did you give all of your savings to Donald? If you spend money on food, or shoes, or you kids, that’s money that’s not helping to defeat Hillary. Are you doing every single thing you can to support Trump, because if you aren’t, then you’re actually supporting Hillary. Why aren’t you doing more to stop Hillary?

  35. NeoWayland
    May 5th, 2016 @ 2:16 pm

    See, that’s the thinking that got us into this mess. Either/or, as if those are the only possible choices.

    We’re allowed one from Column A or one from Column B.

    Eventually the only choices we’re given are reprehensible. You end up voting for the “least bad” choice AND perpetuating a “system” that will never let the ordinary guy make a real choice.

    The only answer is to break the system. Which is why Trump won.

  36. gunga
    May 5th, 2016 @ 2:21 pm

    You know, Sully’s probably been cobbling that together slowly from bits and pieces of dead manuscripts since Tuesday. Good grief, he may have written the first draft 8 years ago.

  37. gunga
    May 5th, 2016 @ 2:24 pm

    Yeah, because the success of America depends on annoying the press…or something…

  38. Steve Skubinna
    May 5th, 2016 @ 2:33 pm

    At this point the success of America may be gone. So if all I have left is pissing off Our Moral and Social Betters, then I will cheerfully and enthusiastically do so.

  39. Trespassers W
    May 5th, 2016 @ 2:35 pm

    Provide some support for your contention that Trump would be substantively different from and better than Hillary. Otherwise you’re just telling me that I’m supporting the Crips by expressing opposition to the Bloods.

  40. Steve Skubinna
    May 5th, 2016 @ 2:35 pm

    Which is why I see the appeal of the “LIB” philosophy. Only thing is, I’ve spent time in places that are much worst than what we are facing now, and that’s where Let It Burn will take us.

    You’re right, the choice now isn’t lesser of two evils, it’s for the least bad outcome. Crash head on into the fuel truck, or risk going over the embankment.

  41. Steve Skubinna
    May 5th, 2016 @ 2:36 pm

    Trump is an unknown quantity, Hillary a known one.

  42. DeadMessenger
    May 5th, 2016 @ 2:42 pm

    I don’t see the left being decapitated by another leftist, personally. Trump is a lot like Romney, in many ways, only less competent. My fear is that, if elected, Trump turns into Hillary 2.0.

  43. DeadMessenger
    May 5th, 2016 @ 2:47 pm

    While it’s true that may be a good enough reason to vote for him, how do we know it’s not a reality-show-esque head fake? Besides, it seems to me as if the fix has been in since day one. I think we saw that with the obviously faked/cheated Romney turn out in lots of precincts, as in, rehearsal for future elections. So it probably doesn’t matter anyway, I fear.

  44. JeffWeimer
    May 5th, 2016 @ 2:47 pm

    There is a not-insignificant “the Devil you know” aspect to this election….

  45. NeoWayland
    May 5th, 2016 @ 2:48 pm

    I’m not thrilled about it either.

    I think the first step is to acknowledge that we’re not talking about “the” system. That’s the smoke & mirrors the elites have used for years.

    The Constitution works. The nomination system never has worked well. And then there is the administration law system, which was designed from the very first to let Congress escape responsibility.

  46. Trespassers W
    May 5th, 2016 @ 2:48 pm

    Trump, who has eagerly sought the public eye, whose personality and peccadilloes are widely publicized, is an “unknown quantity?”

    You have got to be kidding.

  47. gunga
    May 5th, 2016 @ 2:49 pm

    I respectfully support your right to do just that. I just wish that Trump supporters could have the slightest degree of respect for anyone who doesn’t find him acceptable. On the day that I stand before the only judge that matters and have to give an account for every single word and deed, even I wouldn’t have the hubris to argue that I supported a man I find to be evil to the core because he was potentially slightly less evil than Hillary Clinton. If you can’t respect that, again, I respect your right to disagree.

  48. JeffWeimer
    May 5th, 2016 @ 2:51 pm

    He’s an absolute unknown quantity as far as governing (and all it entails) goes. Everything else? Not so much, possibly to his detriment. Hillary is a known quantity for both, despite her best efforts (email server, et al).

  49. Trespassers W
    May 5th, 2016 @ 3:04 pm

    Do you believe that his governance will differ from his business management? If so, why?

  50. physicsnut
    May 5th, 2016 @ 3:06 pm

    No No NO !
    David Brooks is the LITTLE SATAN
    and George Will is the GREAT SATAN