A. Bernard Archer and Barack Obama

Posted on | April 18, 2012 | 21 Comments

Q. Name two people who have done bad things to dogs.

Last month, a woman in Newton County, Georgia, hired 19-year-old Bernard Archer to do work around her house, including take care of her dogs. It seems that Bernard’s idea of “taking care” of the dogs was kinda unusual: He raped them.

Oh, and they were pit bulls.

As for Barack Obama, we don’t know what breed of dogs he ate.

Were they cuddly cocker spaniels? Labrador retrievers? Poodles?

Category: Barack Obama

Comments

21 Responses to “A. Bernard Archer and Barack Obama”

andycanuck
April 18th, 2012 @ 10:49 am

Is this a Bo meets grill story?
KingShamus
April 18th, 2012 @ 10:50 am

RIMSHOT!
robertstacymccain
April 18th, 2012 @ 11:04 am

But … raping a pit bull?

While I’m not an expert on bestiality, this would seem to be a rather high-risk sort of crime.

Maybe Bernard Archer had grown bored with raping mild-mannered pooches — golden retrievers? too easy — and was looking for a real challenge, something that offered the thrill of danger. If he hadn’t been caught, he probably would have escalated: rottweilers, dobermans, etc.

FBI profilers will undoubtedly take notice.
andycanuck
April 18th, 2012 @ 11:30 am

I wonder if Obama is confused by the term “animal husbandry” too?
Dai Alanye
April 18th, 2012 @ 11:41 am

The Obama/dog cuisine is funny, of course, but let’s recall that Lewis and Clark (plus Sacajawea, et al) ate a great deal of puppy on their expedition.
Evi L. Bloggerlady
April 18th, 2012 @ 11:42 am

Nice!
Evi L. Bloggerlady
April 18th, 2012 @ 11:43 am

RSM, perhaps there were some doggie treats, kind words, gentle stroking…it might just work. Hey, maybe that is what you should try with Tabitha Hale!
Evi L. Bloggerlady
April 18th, 2012 @ 11:44 am

I linked you.
Pathfinder's wife
April 18th, 2012 @ 12:33 pm

Actually pit bulls are a breed with a history of low aggression towards people. They have gotten a bad rap thanks to media slant (heh) and certain elements of our society (heh) that are not practicing much responsibility (hahaha! — does any of this sound familiar) for which the dog suffers, but overall the breed scores consistently well in behavioral tests. Dog aggression is another story; people with pits run into trouble when dealing with other people’s dogs: pits won’t back down from a dog fight (sometimes the other dog may start it, but the pit will likely try and finish it).

Just had to throw that out there — they are a very nice breed; used to be considered “America’s Dog” — Petey from Lil Rascals and all that. Shame what’s happened to them.
richard mcenroe
April 18th, 2012 @ 12:36 pm

“Well, if I want the job of Father or My Country, I guess there are just some things I’ll have to do myself.” B. Obama
Adobe_Walls
April 18th, 2012 @ 12:42 pm

You’re on a roll.
Adobe_Walls
April 18th, 2012 @ 12:45 pm

Well worth a shot, offering Tabitha Hale doggie treats, what could go wrong!
Pathfinder's wife
April 18th, 2012 @ 12:51 pm

Much nicer than Tabitha Hale 😉
Pathfinder's wife
April 18th, 2012 @ 12:52 pm

now there is something to hit him on!
ThePaganTemple
April 18th, 2012 @ 1:13 pm

And if that works, he could escalate to Amanda Marcotte.
ThePaganTemple
April 18th, 2012 @ 1:15 pm

You are very correct ma’am, pit bulls are actually a very friendly dog unless abused, or trained to fight. Word to the wise though, they should be watched carefully around young children, though this is true of most dogs.
JeffS
April 18th, 2012 @ 1:21 pm

This brings new meaning to the phrase “Don’t feed the dog at the table”.

Meanwhile, here are some menu choices that President Obama ought to consider . Entrees only, no side dishes.
Pathfinder's wife
April 18th, 2012 @ 2:23 pm

I could flip it with all young kids should be watched carefully around all dogs (most dog bites happen due to young children not knowing “dog rules” and their size — they meet them at eye level and don’t know not to stare at a dog).
But true enough — though pits are usually better than most around small children (lack of people aggression, lowered sensitivity to pain, in a well bred one low reactivity — they are far more safe and stable than most — they even come back better from abuse and fight training that a lot of dogs).

I have to defend “America’s Dog”…I find the media attack on pit bulls to be very representative of the media attack on traditional Americanism (which pits were often used to portray).
Pathfinder's wife
April 18th, 2012 @ 2:28 pm

Meanwhile, I would prefer somebody did something along the line of “I don’t care if Obama ate a dog, but I do have a problem with him eating my paycheck and taking the economy for a ride on the top of the presidential limo”. Now that would have been a winning and witty comeback.
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April 18th, 2012 @ 6:03 pm

[…] McCain takes this fact from His-Story and contrasts and compares it with another that is too awful to mention […]
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