The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

Don’t Worry About That Asteroid Hurtling Toward Earth, Say the Scientific Experts Who Are Always Right About Everything

Posted on | February 8, 2013 | 29 Comments

They’re scientists, after all, which means they’re never wrong, so ignorant laymen like us should have complete confidence in their judgment:

Anyone happening to glance towards the heavens in a week’s time and glimpses a 50-metre-long lump of rock hurtling ominously through the skies need not panic.
Although it will pass closer to us than any asteroid has for the past 15 years — closer even than the TV satellites that girdle the planet — Nasa insists that 2012 DA14 will miss Earth by a good 17,100 miles (27,520km).
“No Earth impact is possible,” said Donald Yeomans, an astronomer with the US space agency.

In other words: PANIC! It’s going to destroy us all!

 

Category: Science

Comments

29 Responses to “Don’t Worry About That Asteroid Hurtling Toward Earth, Say the Scientific Experts Who Are Always Right About Everything”

  1. KingShamus-(D)
    February 8th, 2013 @ 5:31 pm

    Sweet meteor of death!

    Also, first.

  2. michael peter
    February 8th, 2013 @ 5:39 pm

    Quick…give me a charity to donate my life savings to..stat!

  3. JeffS
    February 8th, 2013 @ 5:39 pm

    How about an impact pool?

    I’ll put $100 on Washington, DC, and $50 on Tehran.

  4. jakee308
    February 8th, 2013 @ 6:04 pm

    Well, it’s not like their getting a government grant to study the asteroid. Otherwise I’d be worried.

    Plus the science here is MATH. Now I know math is hard for some of those of the liberal bent (and I do mean bent) but calculus and orbital mechanics have been with us for a while and they manage to 99.9999% of the time to put objects where they want them in the solar system and in earth orbit.

    So I’m going to accept that SMOD will give us a pass.

    THIS TIME.

    Because the Gods like a good joke now and then also, I’m going to stay awake for awhile. Just in case.

  5. Evi L. Bloggerlady
    February 8th, 2013 @ 6:09 pm

    The Blogfather is watching this situation.

  6. Evi L. Bloggerlady
    February 8th, 2013 @ 6:12 pm

    What does Nate Silver say?

  7. robertstacymccain
    February 8th, 2013 @ 6:12 pm

    My two favorite asteroid impact locations:

    79 John F. Kennedy Street, Cambridge, Mass.

    and

    620 8th Avenue New York, NY

  8. K-Bob
    February 8th, 2013 @ 6:19 pm

    Good thing Barack diverted all of that money so NASA could focus on Muslim outreach instead of messy, old math and data collection.

  9. McGehee
    February 8th, 2013 @ 6:53 pm

    But will it make my health care cheaper?

  10. atticusfinchus
    February 8th, 2013 @ 7:08 pm

    Yes if it hits.

  11. WJJ Hoge
    February 8th, 2013 @ 7:11 pm

    A lot of my coworkers at Goddard Space Flight Center are taking Friday the 15th off. They say it’s to get a four day weekend with the President’s Day holiday on Monday.

    Yeah, that’s got to be it.

  12. Rob Crawford
    February 8th, 2013 @ 7:15 pm

    I’d be more worried if the closest approach was on a Tuesdae. Or if it was partly named for the heir to a soap fortune.

  13. Bob Belvedere
    February 8th, 2013 @ 7:33 pm

    Well…we do have a Morgan Freeman-wannabe as President.

  14. Bob Belvedere
    February 8th, 2013 @ 7:34 pm

    …and I feel fine….

  15. jakee308
    February 8th, 2013 @ 7:39 pm

    Tuesdae? That’s like the 2nd day after Sundae? [snort]

  16. Adjoran
    February 8th, 2013 @ 8:36 pm

    If it hadn’t been for the astrophysics geeks, we’d have never even known it was there.

    So if we aren’t to believe them, it is more likely to be correct that the asteroid won’t get anywhere near us than that it would impact, since impact requires a very specific trajectory with near zero tolerance for error at this point, and missing is just everything else.

  17. Dana
    February 8th, 2013 @ 8:55 pm

    Would that come with nuts and whipped cream?

  18. David R
    February 8th, 2013 @ 10:43 pm

    Someone’s been reading old Niven …

  19. Mr Michael
    February 8th, 2013 @ 10:45 pm

    Wait… You said it could hit a TV satellite? *panic rising*

  20. Gigantic Asteroid Hurtling Towards Earth? « The Daley Gator
    February 8th, 2013 @ 11:47 pm

    […] But do not worry about that. The scientific community say it is much ado about nothing, Stacy McCain, however………… […]

  21. alanhenderson
    February 9th, 2013 @ 12:21 am

    I hope he wasn’t saying “faster, please” to the asteroid.

  22. K-Bob
    February 9th, 2013 @ 1:24 am

    Already started putting plastic-wrapped books in the old, now-disconnected septic tank.

    Don’t forget to buy up all the cheap, plastic ponchos you can get.

  23. K-Bob
    February 9th, 2013 @ 1:25 am

    Dick Morris predicts a landfall.

  24. Freddie Sykes
    February 9th, 2013 @ 10:27 am

    It makes perfect sense not to worry about something you can do nothing about.

  25. GJPinkansas
    February 9th, 2013 @ 10:50 am

    Shave the dolphins left? Has anyone found a note saying ‘thanks for all the fish’

  26. Kyle Kiernan
    February 9th, 2013 @ 11:35 am

    I’m fairly certain that the chances of anything coming from Mars are a million to one, and I am a noted astronomist.

  27. McGehee
    February 9th, 2013 @ 11:35 am

    Not a note, but they did leave a Youtube video.

  28. McGehee
    February 9th, 2013 @ 2:03 pm

    The odds of it getting here by itself are a damn sight better than NASA sending somebody to get it and bring it back.

  29. richard mcenroe
    February 9th, 2013 @ 10:11 pm

    In astronomical terms, 17,000 miles is the equivalent of having your head shaved. We take this whole problem too casually.