The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

‘Gender,’ Nature and Sexual Economics

Posted on | June 4, 2018 | Comments Off on ‘Gender,’ Nature and Sexual Economics

Cynthia Yockey has repeatedly urged me to write a book of advice to young men which, in the imaginary alternative universe where I’d actually write that book, I would call The Pleasure of Her Company. This title reflects my criticism of the self-defeating attitude one sometimes encounters in the so-called “Manosphere,” where scoring is given more value than winning. In my reckless youth, I confess that the quantitative assessment approach (euphemisms are sometimes necessary) prevailed in a tactical sense, but I never entirely forgot that the ultimate goal of the game was marriage, “Happily Ever After” and so forth. Having been married nearly 30 years, having seen our oldest three children already married with children of their own, while our youngest three (still teenagers) would seem also to have good future prospects, I yet hesitate to assert my expertise in this matter. Nevertheless . . .

The Pleasure of Her Company is a title that captures the nature of this goal, and the source of male pleasure in the pursuit. When I was still quite young, about 15 and a total loser with the ladies, I sought advice from a guy a couple years older who had his act together and had no shortage of notches on his belt. “You know,” he said, “after a while, it’s not really about the sex. It’s the thrill of the hunt.”

Mind-blowing. Desperate as any teenager loser who ever lived, I couldn’t believe this, and it took more than a decade for me to realize how right he was. No point going into details, but anticipation of the trophy inspires the hunter more than his appetite for venison. And this attitude is nearly as harmful to the hunter as to his prey. (Go ahead, feminists — denounce my youthful self, I won’t defend him.) Why was I so reckless and impatient, so driven to “score”? Why was no amount of success ever enough? One evening, after I’d been married a few years and had three kids, I heard some young bachelors in the office talking about their romantic exploits, and shared with them a bit of strategic thought on the subject, which they seemed not to find credible. My pride was somewhat wounded, as if my extraordinary success was being cast in doubt, and decided to sit down to add up The List. Oh, my goodness . . .

How could I have ever imagined I was losing all those years? A skinny homely guy like me had no reason to hope for so much success, as I calculated the total number divided by the years in the game, and realized I had been competing with an illusion of an ideal, The Playboy.

Every lonely teenage boy suffers from the thought that other guys are racking up the home runs, while he can’t even get to second base. So when he finally connects and watches the ball go sailing over the fence in center field (to extend the metaphor), he’s not satisfied to relax in the clubhouse after the victory. No, he starts planning to become the Major League champ, the slugger, the MVP, the all-time winner.

A bad attitude, which I condemn in hindsight, denouncing my youthful self. To quote an old Willie Nelson song, “The night life ain’t no good life, but it’s my life” — or it once was. No need for me to do an update of The Confessions of Saint Augustine. Although I’m pretty sure I never succumbed to the Manichean heresy (because I didn’t even know what that was), my sins were both numerous and various. At the final judgment, I can only hope for mercy, as I have deserved only wrath. But this is not a sermon or a theology lecture, it’s just a blog post.

My point in elaborating so extensively on my wicked past is to establish the authority of my experience in speaking of human nature.

Why is the loser losing? The rampage in Toronto by “The Unf–kable Canadian Menace” sparked a resurrection of feminist denunciations of “toxic masculinity,” “male entitlement,” etc., because the homicidal loser called himself an “incel” and referenced Elliot Rodger, the Creepy Little Weirdo who perpetrated the Isla Vista massacre. Is it true, as feminists insist, that so-called “Red Pill” discourse is an expression of misogyny that inspires violence against women? Or is it rather the case, as I suspect, that much of the advice shared in these discussions is just not helpful in solving the problems of losers? Waking up early Saturday morning, I spent about three hours doing a Twitter thread on this topic:

The sexual marketplace is governed by forces that mirror the economics of supply and demand. Humans respond to incentives, but not all responses are rational or advantageous. Many of those in the so-called “manosphere” speak the language of sociobiology, although it’s not clear that they actually understand the fundamental concepts pioneered by E.O. Wilson, Lionel Tiger, et al.
For example, any intelligent person reading the “manosphere” soon gets weary of the dumbed-down and stereotypical “Alpha”/“Beta” discourse. Much of this rhetoric is badly misguided or erroneous.
In nature, the “Alpha male” describes social dominance or leadership within a group. In human life, many non-natural factors influence social dynamics. We are not wolves or orangutangs.
Dumbed-down talk about “Alpha” and “Beta” males in the “manosphere,” particularly in PUA (pickup artist) forums, ignores or misrepresents much of what is useful and valid in the theory of sociobiology. First, the advantageous traits of the “Alpha” male are natural. Some men just naturally have traits associated with dominance — taller, more athletic, more extroverted, etc. — which can’t be taught or learned.
It is foolish to imagine that a short, awkward, introverted male can, by reading a bunch of vulgar pseudo-scientific discourse on Red Pill blogs, become a studly “Alpha male.” Not. Gonna. Happen. . . .

You can click here to read the whole thing in a single page.

Cynthia Yockey says I should write a book, a task I dread, but please remember the Five Most Important Words in the English Language:

HIT THE FREAKING TIP JAR!



 

 

Category: The Pleasure of Her Company

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