My Ill-Gotten Gains

Posted on | September 19, 2012 | 30 Comments

“How he affords his Italian suits and his diamond-studded walking stick, his Ferraris, the enormous gems that glitter on his fingers, or the caviar, I will never know. Neither is it any of my business. I will never forget motoring up the cedar-lined drive to his manse overlooking the Shenandoah, and wondering how he could have purchased that stately domain on a blogger’s salary — and with all those children. The missus greeted me politely in the foyer before whisking me to the gallery, where were gathered notables from government and media corporate bigwigs, all enjoying his excellent armagnac whilst McCain regaled them with tales of high hobnobbery. The dinner was sumptuous, and I omit detailing it only for brevity’s sake. Later, he bested me deftly at his regulation snooker table in the billiard room, and offered me a fine Cubano from a box given him by Leon Panetta, and showed me his library, populated top to bottom with leather-bound first editions of classics in various languages, not only of Europe. We sat on the veranda and conversed on lofty themes, before I retired to my room, put up by the sweetly attired maidservants, whose decolletage I shall never forget. . . .”

Category: Dan Collins

Comments

30 Responses to “My Ill-Gotten Gains”

Dan Collins
September 19th, 2012 @ 1:59 pm

Best regards to the household. Especially Sally.
Film Ladd
September 19th, 2012 @ 2:02 pm

It’s the Great Ratsby!
Zilla of the Resistance
September 19th, 2012 @ 2:13 pm

Elitist! And RAAAAACIST! – probably!
Wombat_socho
September 19th, 2012 @ 2:17 pm

Does this mean an extra bowl of gruel at the annual staff banquet and knees-up?
lonely conservative
September 19th, 2012 @ 2:40 pm

He forgot to mention the elite smoothies.
Evi L. Bloggerlady
September 19th, 2012 @ 3:20 pm

Wombat: Maybe Matt Yglesias can redistribute a couple of bottles of bubbly for you from O’s fundraiser last night
Evi L. Bloggerlady
September 19th, 2012 @ 3:21 pm

He can really shake that tip jar!
How do I get in on this cabal of elite conservative bloggers? | The Lonely Conservative
September 19th, 2012 @ 4:16 pm

[…] today that there is a cabal of “elite” right wing bloggers led by none other than my friend Stacy McCain, or as Dan Collins calls him, Champagne McCain.How he affords his Italian suits and his […]
richard mcenroe
September 19th, 2012 @ 4:57 pm

Sounds like an expose worthy of Batshit Crazy News!
Zilla of the Resistance
September 19th, 2012 @ 5:27 pm

Oh this whole mess is batshit freaking crazy all right.
jsn2
September 19th, 2012 @ 6:32 pm

Lemmen has his McCains confused. The Other other McCain who is indirectly refered to is the elitist not the Other McCain, who just happens to share the name.
Wombat_socho
September 19th, 2012 @ 7:30 pm

I don’t like champagne, thanks. It doesn’t go well with gruel.
Wombat_socho
September 19th, 2012 @ 7:30 pm

Is Crazy Cousin John blogging now?
richard mcenroe
September 19th, 2012 @ 7:52 pm

He’s been putting the tips into Mega lotto tickets.
Bob Belvedere
September 19th, 2012 @ 8:09 pm

Wombat’s more a rum, sodomy, and the lash kind of guy from what I read on Live Journal.
Adjoran
September 19th, 2012 @ 9:13 pm

More? No one ever asks for MORE!
Adjoran
September 19th, 2012 @ 9:13 pm

Okay, so give him a dozen limes.
Adjoran
September 19th, 2012 @ 9:15 pm

He married rich, so he doesn’t have to. And John’s been the dutiful Dad to his special needs daughter, although he could keep her in the attic and away from the interwebs.
Adjoran
September 19th, 2012 @ 9:23 pm

A few might out-write Stacy. A few might out-investigate him on a story. Many can dodge deer better.

But nobody does butt-hurt better. You can feel the sting, hear the gnashing of teeth and the renting of hairshirt, imagine the wringing of hands, and feel the dampness of the tears and suffer the breathless sobbing.

Paul needed to do his time in a Mississippi jail, build his own guitar out of scrap wood and catgut from strays, get strung out on heroin and booze and pills, lose several wives and maybe kill one or two, and hone his craft in encounter groups, church basements, and sleazy nip joints before he would be qualified to take the class on butt-hurt from Stacy.

But his effort is appreciated, nonetheless. As my late mother often observed, “He will either get over it, or die from it – but it’s up to him, not me.”
K-Bob
September 19th, 2012 @ 9:59 pm

Food fight!
Garym
September 19th, 2012 @ 10:47 pm

Wombats are vegans, champagne only goes well with meat.
Chris
September 20th, 2012 @ 7:32 am

Holy crap! You mean Lemmen was SERIOUS when he wrote this? I thought it was a humor piece, or some kind of satirical praise. Hey stacy, can I have a picture of some of that decolletage that fella’s talkin’ about?
Wombat_socho
September 20th, 2012 @ 9:16 am

This may be true of the common wombat, but I am far from common. *sniff*
Wombat_socho
September 20th, 2012 @ 9:17 am

Hey, I’m just inquiring into the supply situation.
Wombat_socho
September 20th, 2012 @ 9:17 am

Too much to hope for.
jsn2
September 20th, 2012 @ 10:10 am

The special needs daughter isn’t the least bit self conscious. Somehow she found the webs. http://mccainblogette.com/
jsn2
September 20th, 2012 @ 10:17 am

Elitists have it done for them – http://www.mccain.senate.gov/public/
Bob Belvedere
September 20th, 2012 @ 10:47 am

Leave Miss Hemmings out of this, you cad!
Bob Belvedere
September 20th, 2012 @ 10:54 am

‘Just asking questions…’
richard mcenroe
September 20th, 2012 @ 11:27 am

So were those Panetta panatellas?