The Other McCain

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Fish Stories

Posted on | April 3, 2020 | Comments Off on Fish Stories

— by Wombat-socho

No, not that kind of fish story.

“Mermaid’s Dinner” by Sue Halstenberg

For some reason we don’t have a Food category among our tags, which is odd because I distinctly recall doing at least one post on burgers in my decade of blogging here at The Other McCain. In any case, this being Lent, it’s time to provide a brief review of the various fishburgers that the fast food chains of America roll out this time of year, the better to serve us Catholics who are supposed to be abstaining from meat on Fridays.

McDonald’s
Let us begin with the basic fishburger, the Filet-O-Fish served at the Golden Arches. This is truly your generic fishburger, made from Dagon knows what kind of fish & fish byproducts, topped with a slice of American Style Pasteurized Processed Cheese-like Substance, and smothered with entirely too much tartar sauce. There is also a Double Filet-O-Fish for those unsatisfied with the basic version. Cheap, filling, and that’s about all you can say for it. 70/100

Jack In The Box
Another generic fishburger. Outpoints McD’s because of larger fries and soda.
72/100

Checker’s/Rally’s
Rated slightly higher than McD’s because of the peppery fries, otherwise pretty much the same thing.
73/100.

Arby’s
Actually resembles a fish filet; it actually looks like you’re getting half an Alaskan pollock in your sammich. Yuge – hangs over the side of the bun. Beats the generic fishburger because it has no cheese or other adulteration and actually has a fishlike taste. Bonus points for curly fries.
85/100

Wendy’s
Allegedly made from hand-cut cod, looks and taste a cut above Arby’s because of better breading (panko) and because cod is better than pollack, which is Eskimo for “generic whitefish”. Unfortunately, the superior taste is ruined by pickles.
87/100

Burger King
I was surprised that BK’s Big Fish surpassed Wendy’s; while it’s made of panko-breaded pollack, which you would think would place it halfway between Wendy’s & Arby’s, in fact it is the superior sandwich because it’s served on a toasted bun, without pickles. Cheese is optional.
90/100

Culver’s
Unfortunately, we don’t have a Culver’s in Las Vegas; one has to drive up to St. George to enjoy their walleye sandwich, which is outstanding. Would be perfect if only Culver’s served Coke product.
99/100

Honorable mention: Del Taco
Del Taco doesn’t serve fishburgers, but they do offer fish tacos and shrimp tacos, both of which are yummy.

Dishonorable mention: Chick-Fil-A
For some reason, the home of God’s Only Begotten Chicken Sammich does not serve fish of any kind in Las Vegas. Truly regrettable.

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Category: Catholics

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