The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

Wisdom From a Whore

Posted on | July 28, 2021 | Comments Off on Wisdom From a Whore

“Aella,” from her Twitter account.

Excuse the plain English in the headline, but we live in an age in which politically correct euphemisms are employed to conceal the ugly truth, and the truth about prostitution is about as ugly as it gets. You can call them “sex workers” if you wish, but they’re still whores, and no amount of fancy pseudo-academic jargon will change that fact.

The pervasiveness of pornography on the Internet, and the prevalent use of social media as a sort of personal advertisement (“HMU in the DMs”) for college girls to find “sugar daddies,” has somewhat blurred the distinction between dating and whoring, at least in the minds of many young participants in these endeavors. Recall when Utah sorority girl Mackenzie Lueck went missing, and members of her sorority complained about “slut shaming” when it was reported that Lueck had been meeting men through “sugar baby” sites. As I wrote at the time:

We should not pretend that “seeking arrangements” as a “sugar baby” is anything other than prostitution, and if participants in such “arrangements” don’t enjoy being told the truth, that’s not my fault. . . .
My suggestion (and I think most parents would agree) is that a woman who doesn’t want to be treated like a whore should scrupulously avoid any situation that might put her in such a light.

All of this is intended as preamble to quoting from Bari Weiss’s recent interview with a “sex worker” who calls herself Aella.

“Aella” grew up in a strict Mormon household, left home at 17 and — judging from her own published self-history — went wild at age 20, when she had eight different sexual partners in a year. That was about the time she started her “sex worker” career as a camgirl, and now her number of lifetime sexual partners is 38, including 11 women. “Aella” is currently 29 and peddling herself via OnlyFans, and I’m sure her family must be mortified by her career choice. It’s impossible for me to view such matters except from the parental perspective. Whenever you see this kind of behavior, you must think, “What went wrong? How did she get so messed up? What could lead her to disgrace her family this way?”

When I was a young bachelor, of course, my attitude might have been different, but as a father (and now a grandfather) I find myself appalled by the normalization of such shameful behavior. And all of this preamble, as I say, is intended as a disclaimer, to signify that I do not endorse this behavior, while wishing to quote some of what “Aella” told Bari Weiss, regarding certain of her male clients:

A lot of guys expressed finding me because they wanted sex before they died. . . . Some felt inadequate. Some were virgins and were really terrified that women wouldn’t like them and they had no idea what to do. They figured, ‘OK, if I get an escort, I can learn how to please a woman.’ These men desperately want to be valued by women. I had one guy who had the most profound impact on me. I met up with him in a hotel and we were talking and he said something and looked sad about it. He was talking about his life. That made me feel sad so I started crying and then he started crying. And then we just held each other and sobbed for a while.

Keep in mind her phrase about men who “desperately want to be valued by women,” and ask yourself, why do they feel so lacking in value? “Aella” gets very close to an answer when, arguing against banning OnlyFans, she discusses the motives that lead men to seek this online outlet:

The underlying thing is that men don’t have a clear path in their personal lives to find sexual acceptance from women. . . . I think men don’t have a role. The role for men has been becoming increasingly unclear. Men are now earning fewer college degrees than women and yet are still expected to be the strong provider in some ways. When it comes to gender roles, the thing that men provide is typically protection, and the thing that women provide is typically reproduction. We no longer need protection, but we still need reproduction, so it’s like, ‘What do men do? Why are they valuable? Why are they even here?’ It’s kind of the ambient question in the background. Women still have to do all this stuff, but what the f**k are men good for? Impregnating and running? I’m not saying there’s an answer. I’m not giving a simple quick fix. I feel like this is the thing that we’re going to have to figure out how to grapple with as a culture, because with any sort of advancement in a culture, we’re going to run into this problem where the role of one gender becomes unnecessary faster than the role of the other. This creates an imbalance in value. I think the imbalance in value ultimately is the thing that’s contributing to this sort of thing where women are able to rake in huge amounts of cash online while men are like sitting alone in their basements watching.

She speaks in general terms, about a definite social trend, which would be interesting enough to discuss, but I’m reminded of something Margaret Thatcher said about her opponents in a 1987 interview:

“They are casting their problems at society. And, you know, there’s no such thing as society. There are individual men and women and there are families. And no government can do anything except through people, and people must look after themselves first. It is our duty to look after ourselves and then, also, to look after our neighbours.”

The statement that there is “no such thing as society” was cited by her opponents as evidence of Thatcher’s heartless individualism, but she was correct in criticizing the way in which some people seem to think we are all helpless victims of social forces beyond our control.

My point is that, however much we may sympathize with young men struggling in an age where “equality” (as the feminists would call it) has put them at a remarkable disadvantage, our admiration should be for those who find a way to surmount the challenge of this situation. No matter how many problems “society” may inflict on them, still most men as individuals are able to cope with and overcome their problems.

If there is no “clear path” for men “to find sexual acceptance from women,” how much greater the praise deserved by those men who somehow manage to hack their own “path” through the dangerous jungle. Because however great “the imbalance in value” between men and women, surely not every young man is a doomed loser forced to pay a whore for the opportunity to cry in her arms.

What is the difference between the winners and the losers in this game? Is it all just a matter of luck? Or is it the case, as Thatcher’s quote implies, that the individual always bears some responsibility for his own fate, no matter how unfortunate his circumstances may be?

Well, I’ve reached the 1,200-word mark without resolving anything, but I must thank the whore “Aella” for her perceptive analysis of the problems facing men in the 21st century, and I must thank Ed Driscoll for linking a column by Kyle Smith about Substack that led me to Bari Weiss’s interview with “Aella.” Y’all hash it out in the comments.




 

Category: Sex

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