Warning: No Betas Need Apply

Posted on | April 15, 2012 | 20 Comments

At CPAC 2012, Gabby and Christine were digging the manly men.

Is Gabby Hoffman the world’s hottest young blogger, or what? Her essay on manliness was not only linked here, but was also linked in the AOSHQ Overnight Thread and even got the coveted Instalanche.

Bloggers young and old must envy such precocious success. How many college students — Gabby is a senior at UC-San Diego — have ever gotten that kind of traffic? Some bloggers may say to themselves, “Well, of course — she’s a blonde. Everybody knows blondes get more traffic. Just look at Ann Althouse, for crying out loud.”

Au contraire, my friends! Because if you’ll take another look at that photo, you may notice Gabby’s brunette colleague Christine Rousselle. They’re both contributors to The College Conservative and, believe it or not, Gabby’s recent success pales by comparison to the viral sensation Christine created with her column last year:

A Scarborough native whose column about the welfare abuses she says she witnessed as a cashier at Walmart said she’s received five marriage proposals since the piece went viral online. And she has a follow-up column in the works to respond to those who didn’t like her original post.
Christine Rousselle, a 2009 Scarborough High School graduate and a current junior at Providence College in Rhode Island, wrote about her experiences working as a teenager at the Scarborough Walmart in a column that was published Tuesday on the website The College Conservative.
She wrote about customers at the store using government subsidies to buy toys, candy and jewelry, as well as a hot dog stand operator who she says supplied his business using food stamps.
The column has skyrocketed past 400,000 views since it was posted early Tuesday morning and began to get passed around by readers using social networking websites.
Rousselle told the Bangor Daily News Thursday afternoon most of the response has been positive.
“I’ve actually gotten five marriage proposals from this,” Rousselle, 20, said. “Or at least five. I haven’t checked the comments yet today. I’m floored by all of this.”

Who says blondes get more traffic, huh? Read Christine’s column here. You can follow her on Twitter and also follow her friend Gabby on Twitter. As for marriage proposals, my advice would be:

Be a manly man; and
Cut to the chase.

Some guys try to do that wimpy passive-aggressive thing, trying to conceal the seriousness of their interest by pretending they aren’t really filled with overwhelming desire for the woman of their dreams. This never works. Chicks spot that kind of phony “kinda maybe interested” game for what it is: Cowardice, concealing a fear of rejection.

If you’re going to make a move, make it, and don’t try to hide your interest. If she turns you down, so what? There are three billion women on this planet, and if this particular chick doesn’t appreciate your superior qualities, that leaves 2,999,999,999 other possibilites.

No need to play silly games like a schoolboy. Be up-front about it, and have the confidence to display a sense of humor about the ultimate absurdity of our civilized mating rituals. If it were up to your inner savage, the transaction would be simple: “Me, Tarzan. You, Jane.” Society might require you to be less direct about your purposes, but if a chick really digs you, there’s no need to waste much time finding out for sure.

You can ask Mrs. Other McCain about this: I was no rookie rider in the Rodeo of Love, and as soon as I laid eyes on her, my intentions were obvious. I was Pepe Le Pew and she was that pretty black cat with the white stripe accidentally painted on her back.

Twenty-four years and six children later . . .

Honesty is the best policy, and it’s also a great time-saver. If you’re instantly smitten with a girl — if you’ve got that feeling she might just be The One — there’s no point wasting time with a bunch of rigamarole: Make your move, and if she shoots you down, move on. No hard feelings on your part. You’ve got two tickets to Paradise, and if she doesn’t want to take the ride, some other girl is going to get lucky.

Smart girls dig manly men, and vice-versa.

Blonde, brunette or redhead? A matter of taste. But manly men are not afraid to admit it: We dig a chick with a big brain.

Also, it helps if she makes good biscuits.

One final word to you manly young fellows throbbing with desire for these ladies: Don’t forget to wear your fedora.

UPDATE: Nothing is more predictable: Gabby thought the photo originally posted — the one I took at CPAC — was not entirely flattering, so she asked me to substitute a photo (taken by John Hawkins) she liked better. In all my years of taking photos, I’ve never had a guy say to me, “Oh, don’t post that one — I look hideous!”

UPDATE II: Christine got covered with hate by the feminist blog Jezebel. A woman denounced by feminists? Now that’s sexy!

If she ever gets her own Media Matters file, she’ll be so irresistible, she’ll need bodyguards.

Update (Smitty): welcome, Instapundit readers!

Category: Blogging

Comments

20 Responses to “Warning: No Betas Need Apply”

Dianna Deeley
April 15th, 2012 @ 9:05 pm

I liked both articles.

And, ladies? Don’t worry about it. You’re young and healthy and happy – you could not be hideous if you tried.
JeffS
April 15th, 2012 @ 9:20 pm

Keep up the good work, ladies!
Adjoran
April 15th, 2012 @ 9:42 pm

The quality of the phone cam and webcam shots make anyone look bad. What is the big reason for this anyway? At what point did we decide we couldn’t live without taking a blurry picture of our dessert?
Dana
April 15th, 2012 @ 9:43 pm

The esteemed Mr McCain wrote:

Some guys try to do that wimpy passive-aggressive thing, trying to
conceal the seriousness of their interest by pretending they aren’t
really filled with overwhelming desire for the woman of their dreams.
This never works. Chicks spot that kind of phony “kinda maybe
interested” game for what it is: Cowardice, concealing a fear of rejection.

The beta male wishes he were an alpha, but he is isn’t, he will never be, and he can’t fake it for long. This is why the Nice Guys™ are always complaining about the hot women who dump them — or never even give them a chance — to be with the bad boys who are no good and treat them like crap; those women want alpha males, and when one comes along, their beta mate pales in comparison.

Blonde, brunette or redhead? A matter of taste. But manly men are not afraid to admit it: We dig a chick with a big brain.

The alpha male, the confident man, likes women who are strong and confident, too. You see it in popular culture these days, with heroines who can kick ass and aren’t afraid of anything. And it’s why my version of Rule 5 Blogging (shameless blog pimping alert) is so much different.
Instapundit » Blog Archive » IMPORTANT DATING ADVICE FROM . . . Stacy McCain?…
April 15th, 2012 @ 10:34 pm

[…] IMPORTANT DATING ADVICE FROM . . . Stacy McCain? […]
Peter Ingemi
April 15th, 2012 @ 11:04 pm

women in fedora are almost always hot, but a man in a Fedora who will tip a hat to a lady, now that’s classic
tranquil.night
April 15th, 2012 @ 11:17 pm

Sagely wisdom pops. Love those fedora pics.
Bob Belvedere
April 15th, 2012 @ 11:19 pm

Dead solid perfect, Pete.
Christopher Calandro
April 15th, 2012 @ 11:58 pm

Now this is some news I can use.
robertstacymccain
April 16th, 2012 @ 12:16 am

Also … biscuits. Gotta make good biscuits.
Hutz
April 16th, 2012 @ 12:49 am

Good advice for the young men out there. The things you don’t do are what you regret when get another decade or two in (unless you are a bastard). Get after it: I fell in love three times; all told it probably took 5 minutes for me to decide with all three. Married #2 in 2000 and still going strong.
Boku
April 16th, 2012 @ 4:33 am

Umm- wow, those are some homely girls.
SDN
April 16th, 2012 @ 6:34 am

Loved this comment at Jezebel:

“Do people on welfare have fewer rights to spend their money as they wish?”
Ain’t their money, fool, it’s mine stolen at government gunpoint. If they were stupid enough to steal it themselves, I would have the right to shoot them dead, and remove the problem from the gene pool.
Slartibartfast
April 16th, 2012 @ 8:18 am

SRSLY?

Insufferable Brown-Haired 20-Year-Old Believes She’s The Second Coming of Ann Counter

Who is Ann Counter?
Slartibartfast
April 16th, 2012 @ 8:55 am

I think Jezebel must have dyed her hair brunette.
Lady Liberty 1885
April 16th, 2012 @ 9:51 am

Nice young ladies….but this momma of 2 is rockin’ her 40’s.
No, I’m not sending you pictures.
Dana
April 16th, 2012 @ 9:55 am

And why not?
Lady Liberty 1885
April 16th, 2012 @ 10:24 am

I’m not a Kardashian.
Denton
April 16th, 2012 @ 12:44 pm

The blonde is cute, but I’d go for the dark haired lady. You know the song “a darked haired woman makes a freight train jump its tracks”
Mr. Miami
April 18th, 2012 @ 3:31 pm

I’ve found that when I’m the slightest bit assertive to self-proclaimed feminists I automatically become a pig, a male chauvinist and all sorts of nice names like that. Exciting isn’t it?