Posted on | September 6, 2010 | 119 Comments
Victim of the whitetail jihad:
This was not an accident. This was a premeditated suicide attack on my 2004 KIA Optima. The Islamicists hate us for our freedom. The deer hate us for our Korean sedans.
Although, of course, it was the deer that was K.I.A. (Notice the tufts of fur stuck in the grill.)
My 17-year-old sons gutted and butchered the deer, salvaging about 30 pounds of venison that’s now in the freezer, which ought to be ample warning to any other antlered menaces who think they can attack me on the highway and then go bragging about it to their deer buddies back in the forest.
In response to my despairing post this morning — honestly, that six-point buck didn’t just total my car, he wrecked my entire month — many have attempted to reassure and comfort me that at least I wasn’t injured. This is cold comfort, considering that (a) I’d just spent $700 to have the engine fixed, and (b) the insurance is unlikely to pay as much for the car as we still owe the finance company.
Whenever I hear environmentalists ranting about mankind “raping the planet,” I always answer, “That tramp was beggin’ for it.”
Gaia is a total slut. Pass it on.