Terrorism on Four Hooves

Posted on | September 6, 2010 | 119 Comments

Victim of the whitetail jihad:

This was not an accident. This was a premeditated suicide attack on my 2004 KIA Optima. The Islamicists hate us for our freedom. The deer hate us for our Korean sedans.

Although, of course, it was the deer that was K.I.A. (Notice the tufts of fur stuck in the grill.)

My 17-year-old sons gutted and butchered the deer, salvaging about 30 pounds of venison that’s now in the freezer, which ought to be ample warning to any other antlered menaces who think they can attack me on the highway and then go bragging about it to their deer buddies back in the forest.

In response to my despairing post this morning — honestly, that six-point buck didn’t just total my car, he wrecked my entire month — many have attempted to reassure and comfort me that at least I wasn’t injured. This is cold comfort, considering that (a) I’d just spent $700 to have the engine fixed, and (b) the insurance is unlikely to pay as much for the car as we still owe the finance company.

Thanks to the many readers who have hit the tip jar in an effort to offset the financial damage. Your contributions have at least enabled me to recover some morbid humor about this disaster:

UPDATE: “Stacy wonders what he has done to cause Gaia to unleash the animal kingdom on him.”

Whenever I hear environmentalists ranting about mankind “raping the planet,” I always answer, “That tramp was beggin’ for it.”

Gaia is a total slut. Pass it on.

Category: Environmentalism, Shoe Leather Fund, Terrorism

Comments

119 Responses to “Terrorism on Four Hooves”

Pat
September 6th, 2010 @ 9:13 pm

Yeah, I ought to have that buck’s balls dangling from my rearview mirror.

HEH! now THAT was funny..
Steve Burri
September 7th, 2010 @ 1:24 am

I’ve heard rumors that Stacy couldn’t make it all the way back home so had to land the Kia in the Hudson River. All passengers were safe. The ~~geese~~…er, buck wasn’t so lucky and is now in hell frozen over.
Steve Burri
September 6th, 2010 @ 9:24 pm

I’ve heard rumors that Stacy couldn’t make it all the way back home so had to land the Kia in the Hudson River. All passengers were safe. The ~~geese~~…er, buck wasn’t so lucky and is now in hell frozen over.
datechguy
September 7th, 2010 @ 1:42 am

The questions are these:

Are you able to get alternate transportation for Blogcon? Will the Insurance provide an alternative vehicle before the final claim is made and have has the tip jar provided enough funds to let you function during the week?
datechguy
September 6th, 2010 @ 9:42 pm

The questions are these:

Are you able to get alternate transportation for Blogcon? Will the Insurance provide an alternative vehicle before the final claim is made and have has the tip jar provided enough funds to let you function during the week?
Ran
September 7th, 2010 @ 1:57 am

Why didn’t you do what Obama would have done, and simply pass the buck?
Ran
September 6th, 2010 @ 9:57 pm

Why didn’t you do what Obama would have done, and simply pass the buck?
Adobe Walls
September 7th, 2010 @ 2:05 am

Ran attaboy
Adobe Walls
September 6th, 2010 @ 10:05 pm

Ran attaboy
Larry
September 7th, 2010 @ 2:15 am

Tip jar hit, we all have to stand together against the furry menace of the Deer Jihad!
Seriously, glad you are OK.
Larry
September 6th, 2010 @ 10:15 pm

Tip jar hit, we all have to stand together against the furry menace of the Deer Jihad!
Seriously, glad you are OK.
Red
September 7th, 2010 @ 2:18 am

” And, even worse, the bluebook values is less than the loan balance.” You don’t have gap insurance? Well, if you don’t that sucks. Still, don’t begrudge coming out unscathed. Being gimped up on top of trying to make a living is the pits.
Red
September 6th, 2010 @ 10:18 pm

” And, even worse, the bluebook values is less than the loan balance.” You don’t have gap insurance? Well, if you don’t that sucks. Still, don’t begrudge coming out unscathed. Being gimped up on top of trying to make a living is the pits.
song_and_dance_man
September 7th, 2010 @ 2:44 am

There will be a rally in the Forest by the Left leaning animal group PETA. Pets for the Ethical Treatment of Automobiles.
song_and_dance_man
September 6th, 2010 @ 10:44 pm

There will be a rally in the Forest by the Left leaning animal group PETA. Pets for the Ethical Treatment of Automobiles.
Lilac Sunday
September 7th, 2010 @ 2:48 am

This is the result of eight years of anti-environmental policies under the Bush administration.

Drive past my house in November, you can bag yourself a big fat turkey.
Lilac Sunday
September 6th, 2010 @ 10:48 pm

This is the result of eight years of anti-environmental policies under the Bush administration.

Drive past my house in November, you can bag yourself a big fat turkey.
JeffS
September 7th, 2010 @ 2:49 am

Hey, Stacy, maybe if you got a Prius, and decorated it like this (scroll down to the second photo), Gaia would leave you alone.
JeffS
September 6th, 2010 @ 10:49 pm

Hey, Stacy, maybe if you got a Prius, and decorated it like this (scroll down to the second photo), Gaia would leave you alone.
AngelaTC
September 7th, 2010 @ 2:56 am

I’ve always wondered if fresh road kill could be consumed. Now all I need to do is learn how to clean a deer.
AngelaTC
September 6th, 2010 @ 10:56 pm

I’ve always wondered if fresh road kill could be consumed. Now all I need to do is learn how to clean a deer.
waylay
September 7th, 2010 @ 3:10 am

…on the nature of existence from 19th century expatriate American journalist Theodore Tilton via Sri Robert Plant — available for another week or so here:

First Listen: Robert Plant, ‘Band Of Joy’

Select “Even This Shall Pass Away” — and yes, the rest of the new CD is great too.

Happy Labor Day to all the Statesiders in attendance!
waylay
September 6th, 2010 @ 11:10 pm

…on the nature of existence from 19th century expatriate American journalist Theodore Tilton via Sri Robert Plant — available for another week or so here:

First Listen: Robert Plant, ‘Band Of Joy’

Select “Even This Shall Pass Away” — and yes, the rest of the new CD is great too.

Happy Labor Day to all the Statesiders in attendance!
Bob Belvedere
September 7th, 2010 @ 3:19 am

Methinks Ran gets the award for best line of the day.

Bravo.
Bob Belvedere
September 6th, 2010 @ 11:19 pm

Methinks Ran gets the award for best line of the day.

Bravo.
waylay
September 7th, 2010 @ 3:51 am

There seems to be a great variability in how humans respond to trauma (why does one person develop PTSD and another find inspiration to do great things from the same experience?)

I propose an easy answer, it is called the cultural frame, a person who endures shocks and even humiliation as part of her/his job does not imprint trauma, it is assimilated with the social consensus about the activity (footballers, stuntmen, prostitutes, boxers, etc.). Some people feel they have been raped, others say, well it’s marriage how can i protest, and a third one said “hey i just made hundred bucks with a weirdo customer who played rape”; they all underwent exactly the same act with the same violence but the assimilation frame was different; the worse is when the frame is not present at all then a simple slap can be very traumatic.
waylay
September 6th, 2010 @ 11:51 pm

There seems to be a great variability in how humans respond to trauma (why does one person develop PTSD and another find inspiration to do great things from the same experience?)

I propose an easy answer, it is called the cultural frame, a person who endures shocks and even humiliation as part of her/his job does not imprint trauma, it is assimilated with the social consensus about the activity (footballers, stuntmen, prostitutes, boxers, etc.). Some people feel they have been raped, others say, well it’s marriage how can i protest, and a third one said “hey i just made hundred bucks with a weirdo customer who played rape”; they all underwent exactly the same act with the same violence but the assimilation frame was different; the worse is when the frame is not present at all then a simple slap can be very traumatic.
Dan
September 7th, 2010 @ 4:10 am

I feel your pain. A couple years ago, in Wisconsin, I hit 4 in one year. 1 cat totaled and 3 seriously damaged.
BTW, whats up with the Harry Reid campaign ad on this web site?
Dan
September 7th, 2010 @ 12:10 am

I feel your pain. A couple years ago, in Wisconsin, I hit 4 in one year. 1 cat totaled and 3 seriously damaged.
BTW, whats up with the Harry Reid campaign ad on this web site?
waylay
September 7th, 2010 @ 4:26 am

No surprise the belief in the almighty father in heaven is so pernicious: he has the biggest stick!

Even some atheist males would object to the idea of a female god determining the fate of believers 😉

But that in general, males have no problem with the idea of mother earth, shows in Gaia’s deplorable condition, the closest analogy, that of rape.

The human is a very clever macro-parasite.

One may ask; “upon what, does the human parasitize?” and the answer is, everything. The human sucks it in and blows it out its ass, in mass quantities. Nothing is excluded; nothing is sacred when it comes to human consumption-to-waste conversion.

But this seems to stretch the definition of parasite, does it not? Is not a parasite something which feeds from the energy or substance of another, usually larger
creature?

Sure, I could pretend that Gaia, or even
the entire universe, is being sucked dry and polluted by humans. But no. Instead, I will point out how humans are a nobel race, with big hearts, who love animals, especially ones which are submissive, like dogs. The dog, being cooperative and seeming to return the love of a human, gets hooked up to the same energy-vein that humans have been sucking for millennia; dogs get to eat the lovely by-products of the human industrial food-chain.

Organize it, make it efficient; economize it, and we use it up many times faster than when it was all human grunt-work, swinging a pick or axe to get what we wanted. One farmer can feed hundreds now, rather than just a few, as before the ‘industrial revolution’.

And of course, humans reproduce at leisure, or more rapidly under stress, such as during war or natural disaster. Like many plants and other animals, humans secrete substances which make territory uninhabitable by other species. In our case, these secretions are industrial, but we may be going just a wee bit overboard with it. In our headlong drive to become the dominant species, we have caused the extinction of thousands of species, many of which are proving to be vital to our own survival. Who knew?

And the spiritual thing; is it just a thin gloss, lipstick on a pig, so to speak? Is it really adequate to cover up or somehow compensate for our complicity in our species-wide drive to dominate?

Does enlightenment bring a person beyond the tragic unconsciousness which so characterizes our typical state?

Tim Leary and others have hypothesized that the typical human is actually the larval form of our species, with two more stages to go; post-larval and then, finally, post-terrestrial. The various and distractable religions of our cultures are nothing more than congratulations to our narcissism. They are not irrelevant, they are ultimately destructive. They say nothing of our evolution, or potential for it, for the simple reason that they have not noticed it.

Neuroscience has noticed brain plasticity, which is another way of describing potential for adaptation. It is possible for a human to evolve, but to do so requires reframing of literally every aspect of the objects of our perception. Language itself must evolve, if we are to evolve. Hiding deep within the thickets of conventionality, we peer in puzzlement at the fruits of our own folly; but a simple adjustment to our languaging habits will remove our ignorance and replace it with a necessary, dread-based drive to rework our cultures, with survival in mind.

An example of reframing would be to redefine what we now refer to as natural resources. Few if any have the courage to even try to do so. Resources is the part that will eventually change to infrastructure; so natural infrastructure will be the new paradigm, and so, finally, we will have to make real choices about sawing off the tree-branch we are sitting on.

The planet can support many billions of people, but only if each one is genuinely content to live a very simple life, consuming only what can be reasonably allocated for essential purposes, and returning every speck of consumed material back to its proper state of infrastructure. Soil and water will finally be understood to be the precious infrastructure of our very existence. The natural solar cycles of night, day and season, will be understood to be the basic governing powers, which if obeyed, will provide biological abundance in the form of food, and also energy.

Humans are lazy, cowardly parasites. They have concocted fantastic myths and traditions which not only justify their sloth and fears, but enforce those standards on each new generation, with deadly force. Such conditioning starts before birth, in the form of gestation in a depleted female host body, one wracked by its culture’s own suppressive secretions. The mindfucking begins at birth and eventually, every child becomes a fully fledged mindfucker. This trend is indeed writ in stone and any real revolution will have to address it.

Rebel humans are channeled into lifestyles of risk and drugs and criminality, and eventually either die of misadventure or end up in a correctional facility. In the USA, an astonishing one of every hundred is imprisoned. We are assuring that the crucifixion of Christ is repeated as often as necessary to assure the survival of our sacred traditions. And the most sacred of all of our traditions, is human sacrifice.
waylay
September 7th, 2010 @ 12:26 am

No surprise the belief in the almighty father in heaven is so pernicious: he has the biggest stick!

Even some atheist males would object to the idea of a female god determining the fate of believers 😉

But that in general, males have no problem with the idea of mother earth, shows in Gaia’s deplorable condition, the closest analogy, that of rape.

The human is a very clever macro-parasite.

One may ask; “upon what, does the human parasitize?” and the answer is, everything. The human sucks it in and blows it out its ass, in mass quantities. Nothing is excluded; nothing is sacred when it comes to human consumption-to-waste conversion.

But this seems to stretch the definition of parasite, does it not? Is not a parasite something which feeds from the energy or substance of another, usually larger
creature?

Sure, I could pretend that Gaia, or even
the entire universe, is being sucked dry and polluted by humans. But no. Instead, I will point out how humans are a nobel race, with big hearts, who love animals, especially ones which are submissive, like dogs. The dog, being cooperative and seeming to return the love of a human, gets hooked up to the same energy-vein that humans have been sucking for millennia; dogs get to eat the lovely by-products of the human industrial food-chain.

Organize it, make it efficient; economize it, and we use it up many times faster than when it was all human grunt-work, swinging a pick or axe to get what we wanted. One farmer can feed hundreds now, rather than just a few, as before the ‘industrial revolution’.

And of course, humans reproduce at leisure, or more rapidly under stress, such as during war or natural disaster. Like many plants and other animals, humans secrete substances which make territory uninhabitable by other species. In our case, these secretions are industrial, but we may be going just a wee bit overboard with it. In our headlong drive to become the dominant species, we have caused the extinction of thousands of species, many of which are proving to be vital to our own survival. Who knew?

And the spiritual thing; is it just a thin gloss, lipstick on a pig, so to speak? Is it really adequate to cover up or somehow compensate for our complicity in our species-wide drive to dominate?

Does enlightenment bring a person beyond the tragic unconsciousness which so characterizes our typical state?

Tim Leary and others have hypothesized that the typical human is actually the larval form of our species, with two more stages to go; post-larval and then, finally, post-terrestrial. The various and distractable religions of our cultures are nothing more than congratulations to our narcissism. They are not irrelevant, they are ultimately destructive. They say nothing of our evolution, or potential for it, for the simple reason that they have not noticed it.

Neuroscience has noticed brain plasticity, which is another way of describing potential for adaptation. It is possible for a human to evolve, but to do so requires reframing of literally every aspect of the objects of our perception. Language itself must evolve, if we are to evolve. Hiding deep within the thickets of conventionality, we peer in puzzlement at the fruits of our own folly; but a simple adjustment to our languaging habits will remove our ignorance and replace it with a necessary, dread-based drive to rework our cultures, with survival in mind.

An example of reframing would be to redefine what we now refer to as natural resources. Few if any have the courage to even try to do so. Resources is the part that will eventually change to infrastructure; so natural infrastructure will be the new paradigm, and so, finally, we will have to make real choices about sawing off the tree-branch we are sitting on.

The planet can support many billions of people, but only if each one is genuinely content to live a very simple life, consuming only what can be reasonably allocated for essential purposes, and returning every speck of consumed material back to its proper state of infrastructure. Soil and water will finally be understood to be the precious infrastructure of our very existence. The natural solar cycles of night, day and season, will be understood to be the basic governing powers, which if obeyed, will provide biological abundance in the form of food, and also energy.

Humans are lazy, cowardly parasites. They have concocted fantastic myths and traditions which not only justify their sloth and fears, but enforce those standards on each new generation, with deadly force. Such conditioning starts before birth, in the form of gestation in a depleted female host body, one wracked by its culture’s own suppressive secretions. The mindfucking begins at birth and eventually, every child becomes a fully fledged mindfucker. This trend is indeed writ in stone and any real revolution will have to address it.

Rebel humans are channeled into lifestyles of risk and drugs and criminality, and eventually either die of misadventure or end up in a correctional facility. In the USA, an astonishing one of every hundred is imprisoned. We are assuring that the crucifixion of Christ is repeated as often as necessary to assure the survival of our sacred traditions. And the most sacred of all of our traditions, is human sacrifice.
Estragon
September 7th, 2010 @ 4:40 am

I hate driving through deer areas, which is most of the countryside in SC. Deer are the dumbest creatures, as dumb as squirrels – but squirrel stupidity’s health and economic impact is pretty much limited to the squirrel himself.

I’ve hit three, once head-on, once was broadsided, and once sideswiped. Been very lucky to have gotten away with minimal damage and no injuries.

~~~~~~~

IF the insurance company totals it, they will probably sell the thing for scrap themselves. If your coverage is for blue book value, once they pay that, they own it. Gap coverage may or may not be a decent deal, but of course it always sucks if you don’t have it when needed.

I hope it all works out – and don’t forget to take any loss off your taxes next year, since you were on a business trip at the time. Of course you were on a business trip – even if you just thought about stories or posts while driving to the store to buy ice cream for that investigative series on Big Dairy . . .
Estragon
September 7th, 2010 @ 12:40 am

I hate driving through deer areas, which is most of the countryside in SC. Deer are the dumbest creatures, as dumb as squirrels – but squirrel stupidity’s health and economic impact is pretty much limited to the squirrel himself.

I’ve hit three, once head-on, once was broadsided, and once sideswiped. Been very lucky to have gotten away with minimal damage and no injuries.

~~~~~~~

IF the insurance company totals it, they will probably sell the thing for scrap themselves. If your coverage is for blue book value, once they pay that, they own it. Gap coverage may or may not be a decent deal, but of course it always sucks if you don’t have it when needed.

I hope it all works out – and don’t forget to take any loss off your taxes next year, since you were on a business trip at the time. Of course you were on a business trip – even if you just thought about stories or posts while driving to the store to buy ice cream for that investigative series on Big Dairy . . .
cary
September 7th, 2010 @ 6:35 am

I remember one time I was driving truck for a living. Had a ’86 Kenworth “Anteater” at the time. Entire front end was fiberglass. Great for fuel economy …

One night, drifting down into Salt Lake City, stupid deer stepped into the path of 80,000 pounds of truck and freight. Clipped him with the right front fender. Never did see much after the blood spray, but I pulled into SLC with less than half a hood left. Body shop figured the deer hit the fan after impact, which explained the venison all over the top air spoiler and down the roof of the trailer!
cary
September 7th, 2010 @ 2:35 am

I remember one time I was driving truck for a living. Had a ’86 Kenworth “Anteater” at the time. Entire front end was fiberglass. Great for fuel economy …

One night, drifting down into Salt Lake City, stupid deer stepped into the path of 80,000 pounds of truck and freight. Clipped him with the right front fender. Never did see much after the blood spray, but I pulled into SLC with less than half a hood left. Body shop figured the deer hit the fan after impact, which explained the venison all over the top air spoiler and down the roof of the trailer!
Robert
September 7th, 2010 @ 7:06 am

Um… Deer Huntin….You’re doin it WRONG!

Back in my younger days I had an f-150 beater, we welded some cattle crates on the front and extended them out 3ft.. We used to drive the back roads in NC in the off season…We got a few…

Glad nobody got hurt, them deer have killed many by flying through the windshield. Oh and be glad it wasnt an elk.
Robert
September 7th, 2010 @ 3:06 am

Um… Deer Huntin….You’re doin it WRONG!

Back in my younger days I had an f-150 beater, we welded some cattle crates on the front and extended them out 3ft.. We used to drive the back roads in NC in the off season…We got a few…

Glad nobody got hurt, them deer have killed many by flying through the windshield. Oh and be glad it wasnt an elk.
Repair Guy
September 7th, 2010 @ 9:04 am

That’ll buff right out
Repair Guy
September 7th, 2010 @ 5:04 am

That’ll buff right out
Fishersville Mike: Those Democratic deer
September 7th, 2010 @ 6:36 am

[…] Democratic deer The Other McCain displays the gruesome carnage of an attack deer that took out his 2004 Kia. Beware. Posted by […]
dustbury.com » Same M.O. and everything
September 7th, 2010 @ 7:52 am

[…] “Terrorism on four hooves,” says Robert Stacy McCain of the attack on his vehicle by a c… late Sunday night. “The deer hate us for our Korean sedans.” […]
dr kill
September 7th, 2010 @ 12:08 pm

Expensive smokes, dude. There is no crying in smoking or deer hunting.
dr kill
September 7th, 2010 @ 8:08 am

Expensive smokes, dude. There is no crying in smoking or deer hunting.
Georg Felis
September 7th, 2010 @ 12:40 pm

After it is fixed or replaced, you need a bumper sticker on the front that says “The Buck Stops Here”
Georg Felis
September 7th, 2010 @ 8:40 am

After it is fixed or replaced, you need a bumper sticker on the front that says “The Buck Stops Here”
Ran
September 7th, 2010 @ 12:41 pm

Dan!

It’s my annibloggary today, so I figure I should celebrate with a little unabashed blog whoring:

Iran’s women are suffering. Nasrin Soutoudeh is just the latest victim.
Ran
September 7th, 2010 @ 8:41 am

Dan!

It’s my annibloggary today, so I figure I should celebrate with a little unabashed blog whoring:

Iran’s women are suffering. Nasrin Soutoudeh is just the latest victim.
waylay
September 7th, 2010 @ 12:45 pm

When i see a dead racoon on the side of the road i say my usual bless you prayer as i do for all little dead beings i pass on the road side.

I especially find dead deer or dead coyotes sad, but then so are are dead cats as i wonder will the owner know. And driving the freeway, i have no way to help besides my tiny goodbyes.

I once saw a car hit a cat in the city and it went spiraling in every direction. I tried to find the owner but couldn’t. The cat died just as i got it to an emergency vet. I like to think at least it didn’t die alone, even though we all do.

As far as skunks go, i find baby skunks incredibly cute. Smelly but cute.
waylay
September 7th, 2010 @ 8:45 am

When i see a dead racoon on the side of the road i say my usual bless you prayer as i do for all little dead beings i pass on the road side.

I especially find dead deer or dead coyotes sad, but then so are are dead cats as i wonder will the owner know. And driving the freeway, i have no way to help besides my tiny goodbyes.

I once saw a car hit a cat in the city and it went spiraling in every direction. I tried to find the owner but couldn’t. The cat died just as i got it to an emergency vet. I like to think at least it didn’t die alone, even though we all do.

As far as skunks go, i find baby skunks incredibly cute. Smelly but cute.
Jeff Weimer
September 7th, 2010 @ 1:16 pm

Um, waylay, I realize you need to get a few things off your chest, but non-sequitirs like that, in a post about Stacy’s car? Dude, get your own blog, quit wasting this one’s bandwidth with trite screeds like that (comment #42).