The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

BlogCon: Paparazzi!

Posted on | September 11, 2010 | 34 Comments

Caleb Howe tries to help Jason Mattera think of a better BlogCon pickup line than this one:

John Hawkins was trying this one on everyone, including a couple of cocktail waitresses at the Rocket Bar in Chinatown.

Cheryl Prater at the FreedomWorks reception, where she had to explain to John Hawkins that she is not Sissy Willis.

Cheryl and her friends employ the “I’m-Not-Sissy-Willis” buddy system.

With Brian Sutton of The Right Scoop.

Sarah Desprat of FreedomWorks found herself surrounded by admirers, even though she’s not Sissy Willis.

Bloggers chow down at FreedomWorks reception.

With Duane Lester of All-American Blogger.

Chris Renner‘s proximity to Adrienne Royer demonstrates the obvious: Chicks dig hats.

BlogCon Fever — Catch It!

Jim J. of AnthropoCon and Amanda Carpenter. Insert “Beauty and the Beast” punchline here.

With Nice Deb and Jim Hoft of Gateway Pundit.

Stephen Kruiser and friends develop contingency plans in case someone is foolish enough to start talking about “net neutrality.”

Susannah Fleetwood brought her favorite lawyer to BlogCon. His name is Chris Fleetwood. Wow, what a coincidence, huh?

Cord Blomquist is a ninja master of blog-pimping.

Her name is actually Rachel Semmel, but she managed to convince Jason Mattera that she’s Sissy Willis.

UPDATE: Welcome, Instapundit readers! Also linked in Duane Lester’s “BlogCon Photo Dump,” which features the lovely Tania Gail of Midnight Blue, who spent an hour yesterday trying to convince John Hawkins that she is not — repeat, not — Sissy Willis.

UPDATE II: They Told Us There Was Going to Be a Huge Rally at the Mall in Washington . . .

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Comments

  • Pat

    Amanda Carpenter is such a hottie.

    Married Hottie. But I digress.

  • Chuck Toad

    >Could McCain have sounded any more like Barney Fife? And yeah, how many cocktails went in to the production of that video?

    Too funny.
    The video is rated NSFW, probably done over a large quantity of liquid (Budlight?)

    Investigative JournoList connected the dot… Yeah, the way he sounds, the look, persona, the obscencely salient hilarious Blogfu master, the so-called RSM is indeed Barney Fife incarnated:-} nip it in the bud!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=de_P2aUZJyA

    No body does it better … with apology to the spy who loved me.

  • http://ace.mu.nu/archives/279942.php Andrew Sullivan

    I like the cut of Cord Blomquist’s jib.

  • http://ace.mu.nu/archives/279942.php Andrew Sullivan

    Jason Mattera needs a cigarette (after being warned by hotel staff several times not to do so), a neat tumbler of whiskey, a bit more five o’clock shawdow on his face, and a lot more attitude to pull off the Christopher Hitchens stance.

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  • http://www.allamericanblogger.com Duane Lester @ All American Blogger

    Thanks for including me in your photo dump, but it still doesn’t make up for being blamed for eating Tabitha’s fries.

  • http://theothermccain.com Robert Stacy McCain

    . . . being blamed for eating Tabitha’s fries.

    What? Somebody ate Tabitha’s fries? How dare they!

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  • Robert

    Can someone tell Mattera to cut his hair?

  • http://sisu.typepad.com Sissy Willis

    An instalanche once removed. I take it where I can get it. Thanks, Stacy!

  • willis

    Give up on trying to score with SissyWillis. The competition is too fierce.

  • Chuck Toad

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Rh8KqDzgGI&feature=related

    No body does it better. The man with a golden tie at NTTAWWT wholly owned his pals, nipped the bud. Whoa? At the humor-hummy table, the one-and-only Ace HQ master suddenly looked so crossed? Whut! Just ate a Delaware crow and jumped a RHINO shark, Castle par excellent.

    Pass me the salt please, Mr McCain:
    http://www.google.ca/imgres?imgurl=http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c88/iheartschlitz/EatingCrow.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.flickr.com/groups/nikond700/discuss/72157622766323127/&usg=__GWDmvrgE0cj0H8O9HoBEYyXZN9M=&h=364&w=448&sz=102&hl=en&start=12&zoom=1&tbnid=s2ub-J7RfjTJdM:&tbnh=131&tbnw=183&prev=/images%3Fq%3Deat%2Bthe%2Bcrow%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN%26biw%3D872%26bih%3D577%26tbs%3Disch:10%2C415&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=597&vpy=156&dur=32&hovh=202&hovw=249&tx=164&ty=93&ei=6dOMTOyMNMHvngfIw6zjCw&oei=3NOMTLbVAcnonQfC39DFCQ&esq=4&page=2&ndsp=13&ved=1t:429,r:3,s:12&biw=872&bih=577

    Jump the Delaware shark:
    http://www.google.ca/imgres?imgurl=http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d100/ironguild/dave-jump-shark.jpg&imgrefurl=http://boards.ign.com/teh_vestibule/b5296/180348472/p1/&usg=__kwRxC-mAWnS-F6z9IngbbdqwYs0=&h=496&w=444&sz=86&hl=en&start=24&zoom=1&tbnid=mTtJ1WhZ9cRMcM:&tbnh=126&tbnw=122&prev=/images%3Fq%3DJump%2Bthe%2Bshark%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26biw%3D872%26bih%3D577%26tbs%3Disch:10%2C765&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=300&vpy=229&dur=31&hovh=237&hovw=212&tx=140&ty=158&ei=StSMTOy1DMOUnAflrKWWDA&oei=PdSMTI6eI42OnweurZCGCg&esq=3&page=3&ndsp=12&ved=1t:429,r:1,s:24&biw=872&bih=577

    The right girl: Not-so-proper apropos. “One glance, unriel, you fell under the spell, bewitched, bewildered enchanted! One swing, glee, you’re knocked out of the park, out of this world, unconscious! Lethal, man,,, lethal weapon {–: Non-blogger beware.” Background Lyrics: “Hah hah hah … (desperate gasp for air), beautiful Sunday, Oh my my my, it’s a beautiful day, Sunday morning up with the lark, I think I’ll take a walk in the park (with tracking boot)…” Apology to Reil Daniel Boone

    “I said, young man, when you’re short on your dough, You can stay there, and I’m sure you will find many ways to have a good time. It’s fun to stay at the NTTAWWT {Refrain} “It’s fun to stay at the NTTAWT, They have everything for a man to enjoy You can hang out with all the boys (gals?).”
    – Courtesy from “NTTAWWT Riel World View”

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  • Chuck Toad

    “Putting American back in Hat (Fedora aka Mad Men Hat)” An unintended offshoot quiet revolution adjunct of the American awakening III.

    Taken by surprise the global-wide Fedora-fad storm caused by Fedora social unrest and civil disobedience phenomena, billions of men and women have crashed and sinned due to Fedora sex appeal, whereas the verdict of mullah’s infidelity indictment of French first lady, Carla Bruni, stands under the auspices UN Human Right body. The socioeconomic impact of 2010 Fedora cultural revolution far outstrips the sexual revolution of the 60s. Fedora’s social and cultural phenomena transcend political, party animal of all strips as well as orientation of all persuasion: Liberal Democrat, far left progressive and the blue dog, Republican RINO and Reagan constitution conservative, independent, gay, lesbian, transsexual and straight–All are equal before the influence of Fedora.

    Smitty of The Other McCain has already pleaded insanity for MMH social hysteria (analogous to foam at the mouth Mad Cow decease symptoms). Not sure about the president, seen in campaign video prior to Fedora revolution history). Meanwhile, RSM, Fedora partner-in-crime will contest the impeachment on multiple obscenity charges for instigating Fedora voodoo charm, illegal sex appeal, and the use of illegal blog steroid on his blog in order to boost Web hits and thereby creates unfair advantage to other bloggers and profited thereof from shoe ladder tip jar. As for Dan Riehl, the alleged charges of being a Fedora conspiracy theory truther, in violation of the FCC net neutrality act for which he vehemently and violently opposed and subsequently formed a radical White Panther group (currently under DOJ investigation)is weighing his options. Insider source cited Dan Riehl (geneology family-tree of a German descent, traced to the Rainbow Daniel Riehl, (the young man on the floor in the video with growth hormone dripping over from his hallmark facial hair. His signature lyrics rocked and rolled the boomer generation. See Exibit-1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rygeSv6pcPM). Dan is inclined to plea bargain in order to bail out Christina, mother of Fedora charm, the killing-me-softly twinkling-brown-eyed candidate for US senate (a sub-species, variant/mutated clone of Alaskan mama grizzly). Touching the fundamental human right issues in the US constitutional far beyond the jurisdiction of district circuit court, Fedora case is expected to appeal at the Federal Supreme court where the deciding votes of Keagan and Sotomayor will be the O’Reilly factors’ (patriot or pinhead) talking point memo.

    At this critical juncture of revolution history, Chuck Toad is cooling down his jet, hunkering down at a renown US constitution lawyer’s brick-and-steel bunker command post (in an undisclosed location where VP Dick Cheney was once incarcerated in the aftermath of 911 and shot his buddy Ace in the arse by intent) whilst pending a certificate of good conduct to clear him of all misdemeanor behaviour in FedoraGate (guilty by association). Subject to the incessant bombast of Mark Levin’s daily radio broadcast bombardment, enough to drive a saint insane, Chuckle Toad remains very humble, somber and sober, away from the last temptation of Beck’s beer beverage in a 40-day fast-and-prayer season, in strict adherence to Cardinal (Er, carnal)Pope Beck Benedictus’s call to prayer. To find and discover again within himself, the Faith Hope and Charity principle of our constitution founding fathers, and in penance and repentance on the dark-and-yellow side of his soul. Till then, addio finché non ci incontreremo di nuovo dopo le elezioni. Viva America!,

    Dedicate the Fedora theme medley to the most eligible, a spike-hair young bachelor, Jason Mattera (who, before the show , received high honor of a patriot, service from the highest-paid makeup artist and hairdresser, none other than the Republican VP candidate). In good faith, the bachelor would like to dedicate the Fedora love medley to the two runner-up finalist, vitz., Sissy Wilis the mystical queen and the Ham Nation beauty queen (Willis voluntarily dropped out of the race, had benn seen left the compound in tears due to very fierce competition and pillow fight with the real Sissy Wilis and Ham Nation during the second runner-up).

    Fedora Medley (with apology to Arnold and Rodgers)
    http://www.esnips.com/doc/f5424c16-6a3d-439d-a51d-caaa990839eb

    I’m wild again, beguiled again
    A simpering, whimpering child again
    Bewitched, bothered and bewildered – am I

    One glance, one wink, whew! You’re under the spell,
    bewitched, bothered and bewildered –am I
    One twist, one swing, boom! You’re knocked out of the ballpark,
    out of this world, unconscious –am I

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BwBKjK7Xik0

    Horizontally speaking, She’s at her very best
    After one whole quart of Vodka
    Like a daisy I awake
    With no Viagra handy
    man, I can’t even stand
    But this half-pint BudLight imitation
    Put me on the brink

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Rh8KqDzgGI&feature=related
    Baby, baby you’re the best.
    Oh, and nobody does it better
    Makes me feel sad for the rest
    Nobody does it half as good as you
    Baby, baby, darlin’, you’re the best

    Refrain (The bachelor with a famous Christopher Hitchens ‘ stance, now chained and whipped)
    Baby you’re the best
    Darlin’, you’re the best
    Baby you’re the best

    Disclaimer: This NTTAWWT production is rated NSFW. All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living, unconcious or dead, is purely coincidental.

  • Chuck in carceration

    Dear Stacey,

    Cynthia has a crush on the man on the street?
    pls advise what’s next? Love, Liz x0x0. __________________________________________
    RSM: Gee, I’m not sure but I have a funny vibes…I didn’t think Dan bought ino these fads, Smitty didn’t gave him Fedora, to the best of my knowledge and yet upon my arrival, Dan avoided me like plague and changed his hotel room next to a girl.

    Putting on his sleuth Fedora, Barney Fife begin snapping fingers in rhythm: “A cappella, a cappella”… hmmm, a clue :-) The rhytm “baby baby balla balla” :-) a connection there: “color of the RAINBOW, so pretty in the sky, he’s really saying “I love you”:-) Presto!!!!

    ANSWER:
    My expert advise to Cyntia (in the logical order of escalation). Sounds like he’s definitely interested. But to find out you’ve got to step it up a notch, up an ante and go past the staring contests. There are a lot of things you can do:
    1. Ask him to hang out with you outside of Blogosphere
    2. If any of his bloggers friends work with you, start talking to them more. Guys like girls who can talk to his friends.
    3. Body Language. Big Time. (ie: look into his eyes when he talks to you. Does he crossed his legs? Touch his shoulder lightly when flirting….things like that, you know, girl)
    4. Ask around and see who he might be interested in. But don’t seem too concerned. Remember its always the guy making the first move. He’s definitely interested but he might just need some courage to tell you what he feels.
    5.Buy him Vodka @ the strip mall, man reveals his well kept secret under the influence,
    6.Try Fedora magic, works like a charm, clinically proved.
    7.Hit the tip jar!!!

    Fedora revolution is spreading like Carlifornia wild fire. The Other McCain now has a serious competitive edge over Dear Abby, Ann Landers Online, Dating Online and Lavalife. They say that the prove is always in the pudding, authentic from Ace HQ:”The Wave might even be bigger than we thought. Actually, I don’t know about this one, because I was already thinking of an even bigger Wave than most people were and even my big Wave, in my mind at least, wasn’t enough to do the trick.”

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