Knock Knock.
 Who’s There?
Levi.
Levi Who?

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Levi Johnston is a total loser who’s never gonna have another chance at anybody half as fine as Bristol Palin!

They’re reporting that Mama Grizzly will be in the studio when Bristol makes her debut performance on “Dancing With the Stars.”

Having had the opportunity to hang out with Todd Palin, I know that he’s tough enough to rip off your arm and beat you to death with the bloody stump.

So I’m not going to make any remarks about Bristol that could be interpreted as disrespectful, OK?

Bristol is only 19 years old and therefore more appropriately of interest to my 17-year-old sons than to any of us old geezers. And I hope the commenters will keep that in mind, as well.

But Levi . . . Dude. What a loser.

DANCING WITH THE STARS: ABC 8 p.m. ET

UPDATE: The Rhetorican: “My Agent’s Better Than Your Agent.”

Bristol did VERY well, thank you very much. She seemed a little bashful, but I think she’ll get better as she gains confidence.

To vote for Bristol, text “VOTE” to 3407.

UPDATE II: You can also vote online by clicking here.

UPDATE III: As might be expected, the AOSHQ Morons had a lot of laughs at the expense of the unfortunate Margaret Cho.

UPDATE IV: Linked by Tim at Left Coast Rebel, and there’s a Memeorandum thread.

83 comments

  6. She has some tough competition. Well, beyond Margaret Cho.

    Jennifer “Baby” Grey of Dirty Dancing? She seems like a ringer. Granted most of the hard moves in that movie were done by a body double with Patrick Swayze.

    I hope Bristol does well.

  8. I am huge fan of the show, she did better than I thought she would. I expected her to be very stiff since this is all new to her.

    I don’t think she is going to win, but she should make about halfway. The Hillbuzz boys are asking everyone to vote, so that should get her through for a few weeks at least.

  9. Oh Stacy, you’ve completely jumped the shark.
    Links so you can vote for her?
    Can Cons get more pathetic than voting for another Cons floozy daughter? What, you think this makes it better for Sarah?

  11. young4eyes, floozy daughter? You’re lucky you’re not within reach. You’d be picking your butt up off the floor.

  12. Wonkette says it better!

    World’s worst mom Sarah Palin is bringing her Hollywood Values to Hollywood tonight for a taping of Bristol Palin’s new teen-pregnancy documentary, Dancing With the Stars. And security will be heavy, because come on, Sarah Palin is a celebrity. And if anything happens, god forbid, security at CBS Television City have reportedly been told that Sarah is a “higher priority than Bristol.” Sorry, Bristol!

    […]Is Bristol getting multi-million-dollar book deals? No, she is on some low-rent human-oddity program probably earning scale, and she’s only getting this because her mom is a famous celebrity grifter.

  15. @Kentucky Colonel

    Bristol is not just a floozy daughter, but inspired by her failed mother she is also a loose woman, working girl, baggage, babe, bimbo, chick, doll, moll, skirt, sweet thing, tootsie, grifter, rip-off artist, scam artist, swindler, tramp, vamp, wanton, wench, whore, hussy, jade, slattern, bimbo, jezebel, malkin, minx, quean, fallen woman, femme fatale, slut, strumpet, tart, trollop, bawd, nymphomaniac, painted, pro, doxy, easy make, nympho and piece of tail.

  21. “You’re lucky you’re not within reach. You’d be picking your butt up off the floor.”
    Pfffff…yeah.OK Colonel.
    She’s a floozy because that’s the way her mom raised her, letting Levi spend nights over at the house.She was 17 at the time!
    Anyway, I’d give the Colonel a thrashing so bad he’d wish he’d stuck to frying chickens instead of acting like chicken shit…

  25. Rather than frying chicken and being a fat obnoxious old fart, blowhard chickenshit Kentucky Colonel should get a life; he should maybe try getting a job as a plumber fixing clogged-up bathrooms in Bristol’s new home or maybe a honorable option of trapping mice in quake-hit Christ Church, and take Randy Rager along as an experienced assistant.

  26. I think wayward has serious mental problems from eating that dead crow, but i would ban his sorry ass for that spew in the comment above. Why can’t you keep it clean you sorry piece of crap? The hatred that leftist scum like you spew is unbelievable.

  27. I voted for Bristol as well. I don’t watch the show, but it’s fun watching the heads of lefties explode from Palin Derangement Syndrome!

  28. PS: I forgot to thank waylay and y4e for all the entertainment. I know that they don’t do it for my benefit, but I want them to know how much I appreciate their efforts anyway.

  29. What do we do for your benefit, call out your pathetic cult-hero worship? What a boring life you must lead that your excitement quota is filled by voting for political hillbilly families, on a dance competition no less!Ha!
    Hey, knock yourself out. If this Bristol dance thing is supposed to make you feel better about the direction our country is taking, then it says more about how truly lost Conservatives are. Yeah, go on and vote for the Bristol, that shining-light of a role-model for teenage girls all over America.
    Yeah, exactly the kind of person we need to put on a pedestal.

    And Randy, please man. Don’t make me laugh. I’ll beat your ass like i beat your wife’s love nest…

  31. If any further proof were needed, go check out the Bristol DWTS thread over at Conservatives4Palin.
    Hilarious!
    The mindless,freaky Palin-bots are blowing a wad over this!
    It’s comedy gold!
    And you losers pumping her up are just as pathetic!

  32. Garym, you’d know a little something about skullfucking cause Randy seems to love it when you do it to him( and with gusto).
    But that’s probably because his dad used to skullfuck your dad when they said they were “going out huntin'”
    It’s like that with Conservative dudes; “bowling” is a euphemism for you putting your balls in Randy’s mouth.
    Or is that called Tea Bagging?

  33. Bristol Palin is such a beautiful woman just like her mother. Now wonder, both Sarah and her family were the talk of the town. BEAUTIFUL AND SMART PEOPLE will always be the talks of the town!!! Hahahahah! One more thing, did you know what makes Joy Behar and Katie Couric beautiful too?? the answer is very simple: 10 pounds of make-ups!!! hahahahahaha!

  36. Tsk, tsk, y4e. Really! Such invective, and all of it quite weak. I would have thought that an educated leftie like yourself would have a stronger command of the English language. Clearly not.

    Still, may I suggest that you use these to clean up the mess from your head exploding? I’ve not used them for brain splatter, but they do nicely after I carve up a chicken for dinner.

  37. It has been reported that after watching Bristol’s performance on DWTS, Meghan McCain was seen consuming a five gallon container of chocolate ice cream, crying uncontrollably, and shouting “why not me”!

  39. Waylame and y4e are the kind of people who would climb up a water tower to paint obscene graffiti about each other’s mothers, if they didn’t share the same closet.

  41. I wouldn’t want my daughter on national TV dressed that way. She may be pretty, but to say she is beautiful is a different matter. To say that you would have to get to know her. Pretty is only skin deep, but beauty is a matter of the spirit.

  42. i love how Youngforeskin is complaining about palinbots when he is an obot and btw you know damn well if someone called michelle obama a flpozy that would be racist and sexist in waylames eyes so please go fuck yourself in the butt with a firepoker

    btw quartermaster your definition of pretty is helen thomas so i don’t know if your an credible expert on beauty

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