The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

Crazy? CRAZY? Who You Calling Crazy?

Posted on | March 9, 2011 | 38 Comments

So I was watching Fox News last night and Sean Hannity had an “expert” on the show, a psychiatrist who tentatively suggested the possibility that Charlie Sheen might be exhibiting symptoms of bipolar disorder.


No, I mean, REALLY? Because I would call the state medical board and demand they revoke the license of any psychiatrist who doubts that Charlie Sheen is bipolar.

The only other possibility is that Charlie’s trying to win an Emmy for “Best Dramatic Performance as a Dude With Raging Bipolar Disorder.”

For reasons unkown, there was no “Sheen’s Korner” Tuesday night, but his Monday rant was a blast of weapons-grade lunatic gibberish:

“Now, everyone’s 20 years behind my book, catching up, saying, ‘My gosh, where was all this brilliance?'”
“And I’m saying it was right there. You had the poetry in your magic fingertips the entire time, to flip my perfect pages and read my perfect words, but you didn’t go there because you judged me, you condemned me, you discarded me. Well, not anymore. Winning! . . .
“People need to hear my gold as it rolls out, not as it’s like disappearing, like so many frickin’, you know, magicians’ rabbits. . . .
“Apocalypse… me… the jaws of life.”

And more:

“I don’t give a f**k, I don’t give a f**k. This phone doesn’t even have a speaker because it was built by trolls. Keep that in mind, phones are built by trolls. . . .
“If you own the home that you own the trash can, you should never have to empty it ever again . . .
“We are in the middle of a movement here, an odyssey of epic, epic proportions. . . .
“Any time I roll anything out, my plan is the best one in the room and people are starting to realize that. . . .
“Their plan is s**t and my plan is gold. Walk into my plan and you’re going to win, win, win. . . .
“It’s a Sheen dog and it’s soul is inhabited by the soul of Betty and now it will murder people and eat trolls with it’s razor fangs and drop their spleens off with their children at tiny houses. I’m foiled by phones and trolls!”

There are schizophrenics in straitjackets locked up in padded rooms who don’t spew word-salad nonsense half as crazy as that.

Let me address myself to the California law-enforcement community: Does the phrase “a danger to himself and others” mean anything to you guys? How about the phrase “involuntary commitment”?

Within the next 48 to 72 hours, either somebody’s going to put Charlie in the hospital, or else we’re likely to be writing his obituary.


38 Responses to “Crazy? CRAZY? Who You Calling Crazy?”

  1. ThomasD
    March 9th, 2011 @ 9:47 am

    Schizophrenia and bipolar disorder both typically first manifest in early adulthood. If Sheen has gone this long as a schizophrenic without treatment it would be truly an amazing thing. But that is beyond doubtful, high functioning schizophrenics can exist somewhat in mainstream society, but only with treatment, and even then not all that well. If Sheen was one of them we’d all already know it.

    Bipolar types fly under the radar much better, particularly if they do not cycle into mania too frequently, or cycle out before doing anything too spectacular.

    It is also possible that Sheen may have had been suffering from chronic depression (or a significant personality disorder) but had never had a truly manic episode until he fried enough of the inhibitory functions of his brain with the copious drugs and alcohol.

    If so the Sheen of even two years ago may never be recoverable.