The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

World’s Youngest Blogger Needs Name

Posted on | April 9, 2011 | 144 Comments

by Unborn Son of Smitty

Checking in a little early with you readers. I’m not due for launch until July-ish, but already the dark clouds of crisis hang in my future, the way bricks don’t. I need a name that doesn’t suck. My father has suggested “Tiberius Claudius Drusus Nero Germanicus Smith” , which caused momma’s stomach to do a back flip. You don’t want to be next to a stomach doing a backflip, let me tell you. Especially when you’re depending on it for food during the last trimester.
Hear my plea, oh readers! I need a name that is unmistakably masculine, and will roll off the German tongues of the grandparents easily. Nothing like “FaSoLaTeShawn”. Also out: “Angus”, because jokers at school will cross out the “g”. Biblical is fine, but “Hezekiah” will also be a tough sell.
And a little note to all those blighted souls who think pregnancy is a license to kill: repent.

Some fool may have discovered a sophistry by which snuffing the unborn could be deemed ‘ethical’. This does not mean that you’re pleasing anyone but the Adversary when you frivolously crush a blessing from the Almighty. Repent, and may the Almighty have mercy on you.
Will blog more when my fingers are better formed. For now, back to my nap.

Update: weighing in on Twitter, we have the Bob Belvedere Chair of Applied Blogwhoring at Faber College:

The contest is not exactly closed, but the bar is now sub-orbital.

Further Updates:
II: linked at POWIP.
III: Lisa Graas is a solid thumbs up for all your naming needs.
IV: The Lonely Conservative links.
V: Picked up at American Digest.
VI: SWAC Girl is on the Itty Bitty Smitty Committee.
VII: the coveted Sundry-lanche!
IX: Fishersville Mike offers, then discards an idea. Whew.
X: Hat trick goes to Steve Burri.
XI: Paco’s deft hand at prose, applied to the task of naming, goes rather pear-shaped, I daresay.
XII: Da Tech Guy checks in.
XIII: And the Pirate’s Cove serves up the first tasteful taste of Rule 5.

Coda: went back to my tent, and it was so late that I went ahead and did the hygene thing before falling down for a couple of hours. Got up and went to chapel. What hymn did they select?
Never let it be said that the Almighty is lacking in humor.

UPDATE (RSM): Welcome, Instapundit readers!


144 Responses to “World’s Youngest Blogger Needs Name”

  1. Gadget Girl
    April 10th, 2011 @ 7:31 am

    Tiberius Claudius Drusus Nero Germanicus Smith — does this mean your nickname will be Caligula? just wondering. In any event, wear warm little boots in the winter.