The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

Breakfast of the Apocalypse

Posted on | October 2, 2011 | 29 Comments

Unless you’re fortunate enough to live in one of the six states (Pennsylvania, Virginia, Maryland, West Virginia, Ohio and North Carolina) that have Sheetz stores, you don’t know what you’re missing. Sheetz is a chain of 400 convenience stores that offer a made-to-order fast food menu of such awesomeness words can’t quite describe it.

Mrs. Other McCain abandoned us this weekend to attend a Christian women’s retreat in Ohio, so it was just my two youngest sons and me. (She took the baby daughter with her, and the 19-year-old twin sons fend for themselves.) This morning I made a run to Sheetz to pick up three breakfast “Shmuffinz” prepared my special way, with egg, steak, pesto and mozzarella cheese.

After placing the order, I paid at the register, then waited until they called my number. That’s when I looked at my ticket and saw . . .

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Comments

  • http://roughedgesandsharpelbows.blogspot.com/ Brian D Paasch

    No horses with terrifying riders came trotting down the street I hope.

  • Joe

    “I am the LORD your God who brought you out of the land of Egypt, from the house of slavery. You shall have no other gods in My presence…”  Commandment #1 (aka keep holy the Sabbath). 

    “You shall not boil a young goat in its mother’s milk” (Exodus 23:19, 34:26; Deuteronomy 14:21).

    You are so in trouble…

  • Anonymous

    “For all have sinned and ordered a Shmuffin with cheese …”

  • JeffS

    Wow.  Looks like the Sheetz hit fan, huh?

  • Rick

    Are those the ingredients of a Satan Sandwich?

    Cordially…

  • http://profiles.google.com/dianna.deeley Dianna Deeley

    I can’t imagine you could actually taste the pesto through the steak, so maybe the order number was appropriate?

  • Anonymous

    5:21 !!  You’re up early for a Sunday mornin’.

  • Terlyn222

    It’s okay.  Just hold it upside down for Herman Cain conversation starter.

  • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/EU5DQWQTTHTPO4A4ZYSL3AAV2U Adjoran

    Well, now you’ve turned off the Bachmann supporters.

    BOTH of them.

  • http://thepagantemple.blogspot.com/ ThePaganTemple

    Might actually be a good omen. A 6-6-6 is just a 9-9-9 turned upside down.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1385852725 Richard Mcenroe

    This means you have to stand on your head and vote for Romney.

  • jwallin

    I satanly hope you retained that receipt.

    IT’S FOR YOUR SOUL!!!!!!

    mUHHHHAHHAHHAHHHH.

    yours lyingly,

    B. L. Zebub

  • Donsurber

    There’s no truth to the rumor that these stores were named after Robert C. Byrd…

  • Anonymous

    God hates polyunsaturated fats!

    Ask that nagging old yenta Michael Bloomberg

  • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/EU5DQWQTTHTPO4A4ZYSL3AAV2U Adjoran

    Put the receipt on eBay along with a piece of toast with the image of the Antichrist on it.  Pretty much any piece of toast will do.

  • http://thecampofthesaints.org Bob Belvedere

    That’s why I’m against 9-9-9!

  • http://thecampofthesaints.org Bob Belvedere

    If you could find a piece of toast that appeared to have jug ears, you’d make a fortune!

  • Anonymous

    You’d have to try it to know how awesome it is.

    Pesto is the new salsa — pass it on.

  • Anonymous

    Bloomberg can have my Shmuffin when he pries it from my cold, dead hands.

  • Anonymous

    Bloomberg can have my Shmuffin when he pries it from my cold, dead hands.

  • http://madamescherzo.tumblr.com Mme Scherzo

    Good grief, man. We have not only Sheetz…at least three of them, now in Lancaster City alone, but also a half dozen WaWas, which are like Sheetzes, but with a funny name. And yes, it is bliss going there at dark thirty a.m. to order a sammie and a MILKSHAKE…which you make yourself. Sigh of contentment.

  • Pundit

    “dark thirty a.m.” Amish rush hour.

  • Anonymous

    Wawa’s okay, but they don’t have Sheetz’ loyalty program.  Sadly, neither one has a store convenient to this part of Northern Virginia.

  • http://madamescherzo.tumblr.com Mme Scherzo

    That’s partially sad, Wombat.  at leetz you have Sheetz. We can use our Weis grocery cards at Sheetz for gas points, too, and our grocery purchases add up to at most 30 percent off gas at Sheetz. But Wawa has revamped its deli, and it has some very good offerings. I’m impressed with them, and they are close to where I live.

  • Anonymous

    Thanks, McCain, you’ve doomed us all!
    (Still, from the ingredient list, that looks like a sinfully good sandwich.)

  • https://plus.google.com/114041580398058374552/posts McGehee

    We have not only Sheetz…at least three of them

    Are they to the wind?

  • Anonymous

    Well, I have Sheetz if I want to drive out by Dulles or north to Frederick. I think there’s one by Quantico, for that matter…but we’re talking a 45-60 minute drive at the best of times. :(

  • Anonymous

    I think there is one on 28 in Manassas.

  • Quartermaster

    You are doomed, McCain. Hope you’ve enjoyed life.

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