National Offend a Feminist Week 2012

Posted on | May 7, 2012 | 141 Comments

Did somebody say “War on Women”? OK, we’re not actually anti-woman. More like, anti-Women’s Studies majors. Which is why, for the fourth consecutive year, we are pleased once more to inaugurate this annual festival of fun, quoting the immortal words of our charter:

Hey, sweetheart, when I say “bring me a cup of coffee,” I mean bring me fresh coffee, OK?

Ever since we began this yearly celebration in 2009, it has been necessary to explain that we do not endorse wife-spanking. Unless she needs it.

Most of the time, however, spanking is unnecessary, because our wives know to bring us fresh coffee. That’s why we married them, right? And, of course, because our wives have a sense of humor.

Q. How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. That’s not funny!

Joking at the expense of feminists, however, has become increasingly dangerous. Earlier this year, the Southern Poverty Law Center added “misogyny” to his hate-group listings, so it’s probably a civil-rights violation to laugh at these jokes. And you’re a sexual predator if you talk to an atheist feminist in a hotel elevator.

The empowering message of feminism is that all women are victims.

Victimhood is synonymous with power. To deny women their victimhood is therefore to re-victimize and disempower them.

Don’t laugh: Somebody once laughed at Ashley Judd’s puffy face, and we’ve been suffering from her empowered victimhood ever since.

As usual, National Offend a Feminist Week ends on ~~Mother’s Day~~ Oppressed Victims of Patriarchy Day, when millions of womyn are painfully reminded of what happens when they are deprived of “choice.”

WARNING: If you are offended by images of how women were victimized before they had The Right to Choose, DO NOT CLICK THIS LINK!

Gruesome, isn’t it? And speaking of gruesome, Amanda Marcotte:

A lot of conservatives have taunted me personally with assumptions that I’m constantly getting abortions with my slutty slut self, so you can see why people who also believe that Obama is a covert agent might think there’s some secret underground conspiracy of feminists to emasculate men by secretly stealing away the womb fruit that proves their American seed works. The 4 million proof-their-fathers-had-sex-things we call babies born a year are seen as the rare escapees from the pro-choice conspiracy to wipe out all proof of American virility.

Making fun of Amanda Marcotte is simple: Just quote her.

Also, remember that Amanda Marcotte once believed — indeed, she was paid to proclaim — that John Edwards should be elected president. Never mind his disgusting adultery and love-child breeding. What is truly disgusting, Ms. Marcotte informs us, is that Edwards is being prosecuted for misusing campaign funds.

Victimhood is power, remember? Edwards is a victim, and therefore powerful. And powerful men are sexy!

Do you suspect that Amanda Marcotte craves John Edwards’s seed? Will you ever forgive me for suggesting that nauseating mental image?

Speaking of nauseating images: Women gazing with awe at Obama!

Today is Monday, which gives bloggers a full seven days for spitefully mocking feminism and everything feminists admire or cherish. Just don’t forget to link back here, so we can aggregate your courageous efforts. And don’t forget to shop our Amazon Mother’s Day specials, so we can make a shameless capitalist profit from this enterprise.

Category: Feminism, National Offend a Feminist Week

Comments

141 Responses to “National Offend a Feminist Week 2012”

Pathfinder's wife
May 7th, 2012 @ 11:11 pm

“Topeka Destroyer” by The Cowslingers or the infamous song by Rev. Horton Heat the title of which I will not state here because it is so rude, merely that it speaks of alcoholic beverages in the entrance of a bar and a certain card game going on in the back room.

Actually, just about anything from The ‘slingers or The Rev. (who were nonetheless a blast to party with), although it’s hard to explain these things to your children later on.
ThePaganTemple
May 7th, 2012 @ 11:19 pm

So what you’re telling me is, if I go over there any time soon I need to take more than a chocolate bar and some nylons.
ThePaganTemple
May 7th, 2012 @ 11:20 pm

That would offend me. I never did like that group.
Garym
May 8th, 2012 @ 12:02 am

How about this song. Too harsh?
NSFW
M. Thompson
May 8th, 2012 @ 12:29 am

The best way to offend a feminist: men and women just being happy together.
M. Thompson
May 8th, 2012 @ 12:30 am

You fellows are more than welcome to start your own local observance. Advice from state side is always available.
ThePaganTemple
May 8th, 2012 @ 1:12 am

Naw, just right. Maybe even perfect. For me, anyway. I think me and Stacy might take divergent paths as far as how best to offend feminists, though I like his way too.
Adjoran
May 8th, 2012 @ 1:52 am

It was a hairstyle from the ’60s, I think.
Women shouldn’t have the vote | Pechorin
May 8th, 2012 @ 6:16 am

[…] I’m informed it’sNational Offend a Feminist Week, I’d be derelict in my blogging duties if I didn’t take the opportunity to express a […]
ThePaganTemple
May 8th, 2012 @ 8:04 am

I would have found another excuse to fail her ass. I would have set the bitch up.
ThePaganTemple
May 8th, 2012 @ 8:10 am

Yeah, but you can only take that so far in public.
Bob Belvedere
May 8th, 2012 @ 8:40 am

I object, Mr. Moderator Bossman! I enjoy the royal proclamations of King Tut Tut immensely.

Fie, sir! Fie!
M. Thompson
May 8th, 2012 @ 9:08 am

Don’t even have to go that far. Just explode their hardwired misandristic brains by being enjoying your time together in public.
ThePaganTemple
May 8th, 2012 @ 10:08 am

You must be overly-sensitive, out of curiosity I looked him up and read through his discography on Wikipedia, which listed all his recorded songs, and the only thing I saw that might be construed as remotely offensive was an album title Liquor In The Front (Poker In The Back), which is an album title, not a song, unless that phrase is repeated as a line in a song by another title.
National Offend a Feminist Week! | Fr. Z's Blog – What Does The Prayer Really Say?
May 8th, 2012 @ 11:06 am

[…] Well, it begins with a brilliant reporter named Robert Stacy McCain. […]
Sean
May 8th, 2012 @ 11:20 am

Why should you open doors for feminists? A: Beats listening to them scream when you slam it on their fingers.
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May 8th, 2012 @ 12:15 pm

[…] Well, it begins with a brilliant reporter named Robert Stacy McCain. […]
teresakoch
May 8th, 2012 @ 3:57 pm

Ruh-roh…..
Mike G.
May 8th, 2012 @ 5:18 pm

Well, the way their economy is going in the crapper, maybe just the chocolate bar.
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May 8th, 2012 @ 6:25 pm

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May 8th, 2012 @ 9:25 pm

[…] A Feminist is to just exist and be my normal self, so, therefore be aware that my plunging in the stew Stacy McCain is cooking is being done purely as a lark, and that gracing all of you with my witty presence is merely my […]
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May 9th, 2012 @ 10:53 am

[…] is important to feminists, whereas British schoolgirls being gang-raped . . . eh, not so much.It is National Offend a Feminist Week and, for the first time, we have a Catholic priest, Father John Zuhlsdorf, joining the celebration, […]
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May 9th, 2012 @ 12:26 pm

[…] This post was brought to you in honor of National Offend a Feminist Week. Hat-tip, The Other McCain […]
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May 9th, 2012 @ 2:47 pm

[…] It’s nice to see so many bloggers, both male and female, participating in the fourth annual National Offend A Feminist Week. […]
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May 9th, 2012 @ 5:10 pm

[…] The Other McCain raises the banner. Q. How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. That’s not funny! […]
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May 9th, 2012 @ 7:24 pm

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May 9th, 2012 @ 7:31 pm

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May 9th, 2012 @ 7:57 pm

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May 9th, 2012 @ 10:10 pm

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May 10th, 2012 @ 9:41 am

[…] Robert Stacy McCain informs us, that on this particular week, it’s time to really stick it to them. (Hat Tip: DYSPEPSIA […]
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May 10th, 2012 @ 12:53 pm

Already offending feminists, “Rush Babes For America” more popular than NOW…

Serendipity comes to National Offend A Feminist Week. After a scant two days “Rush Babes For America” has more followers than the feminuts at the National Organization for Womyn….
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May 10th, 2012 @ 9:17 pm

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May 11th, 2012 @ 12:51 am

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May 11th, 2012 @ 6:25 pm

[…] another NOAFW […]
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May 11th, 2012 @ 10:31 pm

[…] MSNBS anchor Tamron Hall is a sexy woman, even when she is angry and unreasonable, which is likely much of the time. Certainly she is angry and unreasonable in this clip from Stacy McCain.Maybe she is agitated that her guest is not jumping on the media’s tear down Romney bandwagon. Or maybe it is the cumulative effects of National Offend a Feminist Week? […]
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May 12th, 2012 @ 12:05 am

Mitt Romney’s “Mothers Day” ad offends my favorite feminist…

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May 12th, 2012 @ 2:13 pm

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May 12th, 2012 @ 2:21 pm

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May 12th, 2012 @ 3:45 pm

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May 13th, 2012 @ 11:13 pm

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