The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

Satan Loves the Media ‘Veepstakes’

Posted on | July 16, 2012 | 23 Comments

There is nothing — nothing — in politics that is less useful than pundits sitting around blathering about who the presidential nominee is going to choose as his running mate. Grant that most pundit blather about politics is fairly useless, and yet there is still a special place in Hell reserved for people who waste our valuable time playing the “veepstakes” game.

Nia-Malika Henderson of the Washington Post earns herself another million years of excrutiating torment in the afterlife for “Bobby Jindal’s Stock on the Rise,” the infernal hosts will inflict unimaginable pain on Jeff Zeleny of the New York Times for “Pawlenty Looked at as Romney Running Mate,” and Beelzebub is stockpiling extra brimstone in anticipation of the infinite horrors Alexander Bolton of The Hill has earned in recompense for imposing “John Thune rising: GOP senator on Romney’s veepstakes and his future” on mankind.

If you are tempted to click one of those links and actually read one of those worthless wastes of pixels, I urge you to resist that temptation. Reading “veepstakes” articles will destroy your soul. They are Satan’s snares, as are all cable-news veepstakes roundtable discussions, and the pundits who participate in them are all doomed to burn in the same circle of Hell as Tom Eagleton and Nelson Rockefeller.


23 Responses to “Satan Loves the Media ‘Veepstakes’”

  1. JackieLynn Wellfonder
    July 16th, 2012 @ 2:43 pm


  2. McGehee
    July 16th, 2012 @ 2:51 pm

    I’m still curious whom Biden will choose as his running mate after Obama skips the country.

  3. Finrod Felagund
    July 16th, 2012 @ 3:08 pm

    The kerfuffle about Condi Rice possibly being Mitt’s VP has caused more strife than talk about all the other candidates put together.

    For my part, I’ve been replying to people that post ‘If Mitt Romney picks X as his VP pick, I’m staying home and not voting!’ with ‘President Obama thanks you for your support.’

  4. Adjoran
    July 16th, 2012 @ 3:13 pm

    “I am 1000% behind Tom Eagleton.”  In which a rising star Democrat discovers no one is above being thrown under the bus.   Hard to believe it was 40 years ago.  Fortunately, McGovern was able to get his second forty-second choice, Sargent Shriver, who was already discovering that enjoying the Kennedy money meant putting up with the freakin’ Kennedys, if you want to talk about Hell on earth.

    Romney’s not a “rock ’em, shock ’em” kind of guy, and the dynamics of the campaign don’t make “shaking up the race” necessary.  He’s a plodder, a manager who wants as much information as he can get, makes a decision, then runs with it and doesn’t second-guess himself.  So I am guessing Pawlenty, who won’t turn up in any raids on burlesque houses or speakeasys, and who might just force Obama to spend more of the money he can’t raise fast enough to defend blue turf along the Great Lakes.

  5. robertstacymccain
    July 16th, 2012 @ 4:01 pm

    Pawlenty, who won’t turn up in any raids on burlesque houses or speakeasys

    How do you know? I mean, T-Paw once made “green energy” part of his agenda in Minnesota, which suggests he’s got the moral integrity of a truckstop whore.

  6. Wombat_socho
    July 16th, 2012 @ 4:02 pm

    This is why I don’t read most of the links I post in Live At Five. I have only so much sanity left after years of learning Things Man Was Not Meant To Know, and can’t be bothered to waste it on trivial nonsense like veepstakes articles. 

  7. M. Thompson
    July 16th, 2012 @ 4:02 pm

     Keeping discipline about this sort of stuff means the hypothetical Romney White House will not be as leak prone as the Obama White House has been.

  8. Adobe_Walls
    July 16th, 2012 @ 4:18 pm

    You have to admit T-Paw is boring enough.

  9. Adjoran
    July 16th, 2012 @ 4:59 pm

     Well, I’ll defer to your superior knowledge of and experience with truck stop whores.

  10. Adjoran
    July 16th, 2012 @ 5:00 pm

     I mean, the only ones I’ve met seemed like they had hearts of gold. 

  11. McGehee
    July 16th, 2012 @ 5:05 pm


  12. Pathfinder's wife
    July 16th, 2012 @ 5:21 pm

    All the moral integrity of a truckstop strumpet without the interest…

  13. Pathfinder's wife
    July 16th, 2012 @ 5:25 pm

    Sammy the Singing Squirrel of Snohomish.
    And I predict the ticket will garner quite a high “likeability” rating…and do better in VP debates than Pawlenty (largely due to Sammy’s impressive stage presence).

  14. Pathfinder's wife
    July 16th, 2012 @ 5:28 pm

    at which point Biden will be asked to trade places with Sammy due to overwhelming support for Sammy’s obvious intellectual prowess and better leadership ability

  15. Cas6039
    July 16th, 2012 @ 5:56 pm

    Does Hell really have”Circles” in it? If so, Why?

  16. Adobe_Walls
    July 16th, 2012 @ 7:42 pm

    Some guy named Dante said so.

  17. McGehee
    July 16th, 2012 @ 8:32 pm

    So they can have fun telling the greedy souls there’s a quarter in the corner.

  18. Pathfinder's wife
    July 16th, 2012 @ 8:43 pm

    No more…sadly (for purely selfish reasons) Benedict has come out and said that Dante’s version of eternal torment is not correct (damn).

  19. Ford Prefect
    July 16th, 2012 @ 9:12 pm

    I type “if Mitt picks [lame moderate running mate X] then I’m going to have to go to 5 different precincts to vote on election day to make up for all the disenchanted grass roots voters who will probably stay home.”

    They did when Dole ran, they did when McCain ran and they’ll do it again if Mitt does something stupid with the veep.

    So I’m working out how I can vote early and often so as to help drag Mitt’s sorry rear end across the finish line. He doesn’t look like he wants to win but I want him to. Who’s with me?

  20. Adobe_Walls
    July 16th, 2012 @ 9:38 pm

    Damn, foiled again. I guess we’ll just have to redouble our efforts to torment libruls in this life.

  21. scarymatt
    July 17th, 2012 @ 8:57 am

    Now I feel betrayed. 🙁

  22. » His horn went veep veep veep
    July 17th, 2012 @ 1:35 pm

    […] And it had to be destroyed for that reason alone: There is nothing — nothing — in politics that is less useful than pundits sitting around blathering about who the presidential nominee is going to choose as his running mate. […]

  23. Bob Belvedere
    July 20th, 2012 @ 12:02 am

    You too, huh?