You Had Me at ‘Boobs’

Posted on 23 Comments

I protest the inherent unfairness of sending me an e-mail with the subject line, “The Big Boob Conundrum (aka ‘Breasts of Mass Destruction’)“:

Given that the average amount of milk produced by a lactating mother (850 ml/day) is well over 16 ounces (473.2 ml), those 38DDDs are “containers” which clearly violate your Big Gulp edict (breast milk is sweet, and since it’s not alcoholic, that technically makes it a “soft” drink).

She’s got a point: Mayor Bloomberg is a gigantic boob, but I usually try to ignore gigantic boobs, because it’s not polite to stare.

Stop staring at Mayor Bloomberg you sick freaks!

23 comments

  4. Also, boobs do more to promote heterosexuality than does Chick-fil-A, so they’re probably a hate crime in New York.

  6. ” boobs do more to promote heterosexuality than does Chick-fil-A” I’d have to see the data* on that. It could just be your cultural bias denying the effect that boobs have in promoting homosexuality in lesbians.

    As far as boobs being a “hate crime” in NYC? I understand they practice “open carry” on Broadway!

    *illustrated, of course!

  10. Is this one of those challenges where you spot the fakes? I know the boob on the right is real; can’t say about the pair on the left.

  11. Maybe it’s one of those scratch and stiff thingies.  Bloomboob v.s. Vaavooomboob.  Let’s let the Worlds Youngest Blogger (cause the rest of you may be thinking with the wrong head) pick the winner. 

  14. No hon, those are the directions on your Viagra bottle.  The post is just to remind you to take them with milk with visual references to the dispenser(s) for the most organic. 
    Watch out for those Dept. of Agriculture boobs to bust you for whole milk though.    

  16. Wait, what viagra bottle? I’m scared to death about them, four-hour jobby doos. Besides, the K~Missus would wonder what I was a’ doin’ with the other 3.95 hours.

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