The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

Don’t Worry About That Asteroid Hurtling Toward Earth, Say the Scientific Experts Who Are Always Right About Everything

Posted on | February 8, 2013 | 29 Comments

They’re scientists, after all, which means they’re never wrong, so ignorant laymen like us should have complete confidence in their judgment:

Anyone happening to glance towards the heavens in a week’s time and glimpses a 50-metre-long lump of rock hurtling ominously through the skies need not panic.
Although it will pass closer to us than any asteroid has for the past 15 years — closer even than the TV satellites that girdle the planet — Nasa insists that 2012 DA14 will miss Earth by a good 17,100 miles (27,520km).
“No Earth impact is possible,” said Donald Yeomans, an astronomer with the US space agency.

In other words: PANIC! It’s going to destroy us all!



  • KingShamus-(D)

    Sweet meteor of death!

    Also, first.

  • michael peter

    Quick…give me a charity to donate my life savings to..stat!

  • JeffS

    How about an impact pool?

    I’ll put $100 on Washington, DC, and $50 on Tehran.

  • jakee308

    Well, it’s not like their getting a government grant to study the asteroid. Otherwise I’d be worried.

    Plus the science here is MATH. Now I know math is hard for some of those of the liberal bent (and I do mean bent) but calculus and orbital mechanics have been with us for a while and they manage to 99.9999% of the time to put objects where they want them in the solar system and in earth orbit.

    So I’m going to accept that SMOD will give us a pass.


    Because the Gods like a good joke now and then also, I’m going to stay awake for awhile. Just in case.

  • Evi L. Bloggerlady
  • Evi L. Bloggerlady

    What does Nate Silver say?

  • robertstacymccain

    My two favorite asteroid impact locations:

    79 John F. Kennedy Street, Cambridge, Mass.


    620 8th Avenue New York, NY

  • K-Bob

    Good thing Barack diverted all of that money so NASA could focus on Muslim outreach instead of messy, old math and data collection.

  • McGehee

    But will it make my health care cheaper?

  • atticusfinchus

    Yes if it hits.

  • WJJ Hoge

    A lot of my coworkers at Goddard Space Flight Center are taking Friday the 15th off. They say it’s to get a four day weekend with the President’s Day holiday on Monday.

    Yeah, that’s got to be it.

  • Rob Crawford

    I’d be more worried if the closest approach was on a Tuesdae. Or if it was partly named for the heir to a soap fortune.

  • Bob Belvedere

    Well…we do have a Morgan Freeman-wannabe as President.

  • Bob Belvedere

    …and I feel fine….

  • jakee308

    Tuesdae? That’s like the 2nd day after Sundae? [snort]

  • Adjoran

    If it hadn’t been for the astrophysics geeks, we’d have never even known it was there.

    So if we aren’t to believe them, it is more likely to be correct that the asteroid won’t get anywhere near us than that it would impact, since impact requires a very specific trajectory with near zero tolerance for error at this point, and missing is just everything else.

  • Dana

    Would that come with nuts and whipped cream?

  • David R

    Someone’s been reading old Niven …

  • Mr Michael

    Wait… You said it could hit a TV satellite? *panic rising*

  • Pingback: Gigantic Asteroid Hurtling Towards Earth? « The Daley Gator()

  • alanhenderson

    I hope he wasn’t saying “faster, please” to the asteroid.

  • K-Bob

    Already started putting plastic-wrapped books in the old, now-disconnected septic tank.

    Don’t forget to buy up all the cheap, plastic ponchos you can get.

  • K-Bob

    Dick Morris predicts a landfall.

  • Freddie Sykes

    It makes perfect sense not to worry about something you can do nothing about.

  • GJPinkansas

    Shave the dolphins left? Has anyone found a note saying ‘thanks for all the fish’

  • Kyle Kiernan

    I’m fairly certain that the chances of anything coming from Mars are a million to one, and I am a noted astronomist.

  • McGehee

    Not a note, but they did leave a Youtube video.

  • McGehee

    The odds of it getting here by itself are a damn sight better than NASA sending somebody to get it and bring it back.

  • richard mcenroe

    In astronomical terms, 17,000 miles is the equivalent of having your head shaved. We take this whole problem too casually.