Posted on | July 30, 2013 | 87 Comments
Monica was hot by comparison. Seriously? http://t.co/J9iWkbXepF Really, seriously?
— ConservativeLA (@ConservativeLA) July 30, 2013
— Robert Stacy McCain (@rsmccain) July 30, 2013
De gustibus non est disputandum, of course, but any man who would prefer tattooed Sydney to the alabaster-complexioned Monica . . .
Maybe it takes a Southern good ol’ boy to understand why Bill Clinton liked more cushion for the pushin’, as fellows say down home.
Not that Sydney Leathers is particularly thin, but when it comes to the question of which gal looks like she’d appreciate a dinner date at Cracker Barrel — country fried steak and gravy, turnip greens, pinto beans, hashbrown casserole, biscuits and cornbread — I don’t think there can be any question: Monica is the plus-size winner.
What a lovely girl! Her green eyes are beautiful, her dark hair is beautiful and her mouth . . . Well, of course, I’m a happily married man, but this is strictly a hypothetical scenario, remember?
That’s why I was so strongly in favor of President Clinton’s impeachment. He was under oath when he was asked about Monica and, if he had any regard for truth, Bill would have had no choice but to answer: “Oh, hell, yes. I did that gal every day of the week and twice on Sunday. Honestly, I just couldn’t help myself. That chubby young gal flashing her thong panties at me? Like the song said, I took one look and I was fractured. Tried to walk and I was lame.”
Maybe some men honestly find Monica Lewinsky unattractive. Who am I to judge? Now let us recite the Good Ol’ Boys Prayer: Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from horny fat girls . . .