The Parable of Banging the Babysitter

Posted on | November 18, 2013 | 188 Comments

It was perhaps inevitable that the Christian homeschooling movement would have a sex scandal sooner or later, but . . . Doug Phillips?

Former Vision Forum Ministries president Doug Phillips reiterated [Thursday] that his decision to resign from his leadership position was the proper outcome following his acknowledgement that he had “inappropriate relationship” with a woman who was not his wife. . . .
On Nov. 11, the Vision Forum Ministries board shutdown the non-profit, two weeks after Phillips publicly announced his resignation.

Maybe someone else saw that coming, but when I found out about this last night on Twitter, I was stunned. Apparently, this has been buzzing around since Phillips announced his resignation in late October, but I missed that news. The details of the scandal have been rather hush-hush. In his Thursday statement, Phillips vaguely acknowledged that “there was an inappropriate physical component with an unmarried woman” which “was intermittent over a period of years.”

Why the awkwardness in that confession? Well . . .

If we can believe blog commenters:

The affair was with a younger woman (girl) in her teenage years who was very involved with the ministries of both [Vision Forum] and the church. She also helped greatly with the family’s children as a nanny for many years.
This affair has gone on at least 10 years — although she is of age now, she was not when the affair began. . . .
This woman went unmarried all through her 20?s to be there for [Doug Phillips]’s every need and whim. When she finally realized she could no longer continue the affair, due to God’s conviction and disgust with the hypocrisy, she made it clear she would expose him if he didn’t confess.
I believe this will slowly be revealed in public.

Face it, as far as this woman herself is concerned, her identity must already be known by everyone who knows the Phillips family. How many people could fit that description? So she will no doubt eventually step out of the shadows and tell the whole sordid tale.

Or maybe collect a large payment to keep her mouth shut.

What I can’t understand — the mind boggles at the thought — is how any Christian girl could let herself be talked into this. Stipulate that Doug Phillips was a hypocritical horndog who deserves to burn in Hell. Still, what kind of arguments did he make to persuade this girl that it would be OK for her to have sex with him? “Oh, yeah, ‘Thou shalt not commit adultery, except for humping the nanny.’ That was in the original Hebrew text, but it’s left out of these ‘modern’ translations.”

This is a horrible thing, and I joke about it for the same reason I joke about a lot of horrible things. Sarcastic humor is a defense mechanism, because if I couldn’t make wisecracks about wretched stuff like this, it might drive me to utter despair.

Obama is president, which is enough despair for anyone.

Category: Religion, Scandal, Sex

Comments

188 Responses to “The Parable of Banging the Babysitter”

MrEvilMatt
November 18th, 2013 @ 8:15 am

The Parable of Banging the Babysitter: It was perhaps inevitable that the Christian homeschooling movement wou… http://t.co/IilUxMPlA7
CHideout
November 18th, 2013 @ 8:15 am

The Parable of Banging the Babysitter: It was perhaps inevitable that the Christian homeschooling movement wou… http://t.co/DjuPN7yHt0
Lockestep1776
November 18th, 2013 @ 8:15 am

The Parable of Banging the Babysitter: It was perhaps inevitable that the Christian homeschooling movement wou… http://t.co/tkSj1Dtgbi
Resista38176897
November 18th, 2013 @ 8:15 am

The Parable of Banging the Babysitter: It was perhaps inevitable that the Christian homeschooling movement wou… http://t.co/vUFClyHh8y
Citzcom
November 18th, 2013 @ 8:15 am

The Parable of Banging the Babysitter: It was perhaps inevitable that the Christian homeschooling movement wou… http://t.co/7o5ZJrtnMt
jwbrown1969
November 18th, 2013 @ 8:15 am

The Parable of Banging the Babysitter: It was perhaps inevitable that the Christian homeschooling movement wou… http://t.co/2dQk9WKujF
Dana
November 18th, 2013 @ 8:23 am

Our esteemed host has forgotten what he felt like when he was in his teens:

What I can’t understand — the mind boggles at the thought — is how any Christian girl could let herself be talked into this.

Uhhh, she was 14 or 15 or 16 or 17 or whatever age she was, and she was like every other girl that age: horny. Being Christian means that she knew it was wrong, but Christians sin just like other people do, and Christians get horny, just like other people do.
kjcopp
November 18th, 2013 @ 8:23 am

Kudos! > @rsmccain The Parable of Banging the Babysitter #DougPhillips http://t.co/jgnJTSTEou @sjreidhead @DefendTheSheep
NeoWayland
November 18th, 2013 @ 8:34 am

It happens.

Calling it immoral won’t change that.

Titles and labels don’t magically protect against bad choices. In the end, an individual is responsible for his own actions. It doesn’t matter what groups he belongs to, or how he voted, or if he is married.

There is no virtue or curse in the label. It’s always about the individual.
Dana
November 18th, 2013 @ 8:38 am

Our wisecracking host wrote:

This is a horrible thing, and I joke about it for the same reason I joke about a lot of horrible things. Sarcastic humor is a defense mechanism, because if I couldn’t make wisecracks about wretched stuff like this, it might drive me to utter despair.

Kind of like when it’s been a long, long day, I joke, “I have a college degree. I could have taught school, had summers off and gotten to look at 16 year old girls all day”? It doesn’t mean that I really want to statutorily rape a 16 year old.
The Bearded Bastard of Babylon
November 18th, 2013 @ 9:18 am

“…Sarcastic humor is a defense mechanism…wisecracks… wretched stuff…utter despair…”

Virtually every time read about these sorts of things, it’s always on the back of my mind: if I can’t laugh about this stuff, I’d cry… So I comment sometimes. It helps. TOM is good place for me to do this!
The Parable of Banging the Babysitter | Dead Citizen's Rights Society
November 18th, 2013 @ 9:35 am

[…] The Parable of Banging the Babysitter […]
rmnixondeceased
November 18th, 2013 @ 9:49 am

“Obama is president, which is enough despair for anyone.”
That alone pegs the despair-o-meter, in my opinion.
Being a sinner myself (as well as a thoroughly fallen man) I know this is an inadequate ‘confession’ and the resignation is but a small consequence of his actions. Sexual sins (and crimes) are particularly vile and there are more consequences to come, both in the physical world and the spiritual realm. I pray for all involved.
Ivory
November 18th, 2013 @ 9:52 am

The reason this kind of thing happens in Doug Phillips brand of supposed “Christian” homeschooling is that like every other cult – his brand of Christianity adds to, mangles, and turns the true Gospel of grace into a man-centered set of lists and commands.
His particular version requires that all women and girls need a man – husband or father – to speak to and for God on their behalf.
Any girl brought up in that system is told she has no right to her own thoughts, beliefs or opinions.
Having observed first hand for many years how damaging this sort of system has been to many girls, wives, and even whole church communities, my only surprise is that this didn’t happen sooner.

While I do not rejoice in Doug Phillips fall, as I am keenly aware that but for the grace of God it could happen to anyone at anytime as mere mortals we are all susceptible to various temptations to sin –
I do hope it shines a light on his perverse twisting of Scripture and saves others from the damage he has already caused thousands with his brand of just another “Prosperity gospel”.
Adrienne
November 18th, 2013 @ 9:55 am

This affair has gone on at least 10 years — although she is of age now, she was not when the affair began. . . .

It took 10 years to decide what they were doing might, just might, be a sin?

I feel sorry for his wife and kids.
Julie Anne
November 18th, 2013 @ 10:12 am

It’s much more than this. Phillips was very highly esteemed – like a rock star – in the homeschool world. Add to this the brand of Patriarchy that says women must be silent, cannot question authority, women must stay under the “protection” of man and you have a recipe for disaster. It is wrong to put any blame on this Christian young lady when he used his power and position of authority over her.
Art Deco
November 18th, 2013 @ 10:22 am

I do read evangelical literature from time to time (e.g. World and Books & Culture back in the day). I do not think I have ever heard of this chap. I had never heard of Alan Chambers either. Just how consequential are these folk outside the ambo of their clientele?
Art Deco
November 18th, 2013 @ 10:27 am

Well…

1. Keep in mind that Quebec prior to 1960 had a total fertility rate of about 4.0. This man has eight children, which is atypical even in a society largely free of contraception.

2. He is the sort of person who builds organizations and markets things. It is a wager he has a certain magnetism and rhetorical skill.

3. He just might have been pushing on an open door.

4. A hypothesis from Leon Podles: protestant ministers commonly suffer from anxieties which are assuaged by sexual conquest.
DaTechGuy on DaRadio
November 18th, 2013 @ 10:28 am

I actually find it very easy to understand.

She was young and impressionable and she identified Mr. Phillips her minister with the word of God.

So she started out deceived by him, then as understanding dawned she likely next deceived herself until finally God and conscience made it impossible to continue to do so.

FYI this is another danger of the whole “Once saved always saved” business. Why worry about banging the babysitter if heaven is a guarantee?
Julie Anne
November 18th, 2013 @ 10:29 am

I would say they are quietly influential. They take this guy’s teachings back to their churches and spread it – one family at a time.
fityshadesofred
November 18th, 2013 @ 10:29 am

.@smitty_one_each Except if true it was rape. A minor can’tl make adult decisions especially after yrs of rape.
Art Deco
November 18th, 2013 @ 10:34 am

I think it is quite possible she was infatuated with him as well. We cannot know.

Years ago, an anthropologist of my acquaintance explained to a young woman in a seminar room what manners dictated in Malaysia. “You and me, in a room, at this distance, for five minutes, just the two of us, means compulsory marriage.” There is a reason that Billy Graham has made a point of always having a third person around when he was meeting with women not his wife. You need to build a fence around things.
Art Deco
November 18th, 2013 @ 10:39 am

These things always seem to end with the most mealy-mouthed statements in the most cloying idiom. That alone raises red flags.

You remember Ted Haggard? What gets you about that whole business was that subsequently (if news accounts are to be believed) Haggard fancied that he had been ill dealt with by his congregational board, even though he was given severance pay, even though the board found evidence that at least one youth in the congregation (or was it two?) had had trysts with Haggard in addition to the hustler who exposed him, and even though Haggard had lied repeatedly in an effort to retain his position.
Mm
November 18th, 2013 @ 10:42 am

This is a textbook case for strong age of consent laws. A Christian girl, active in her church, still cannot resist the influence of an older more experienced person. And, at least when it started, i doubt it was about being horny. Young teenage girls are romantics, and while they have sexual urges, they are not teenage boys.
Evi L. Bloggerlady
November 18th, 2013 @ 11:07 am

It is generally a very bad idea to bang the babysitter.

As for how these things happen to even good people, they happen (the left does not have a monopoly on sin, even thought it seems that way some times, they just seek to embrace it more to assuage any guilt). That does not make it right. And that shows why there should be consequences to these sort of things, because there always are.
M. Thompson
November 18th, 2013 @ 11:10 am

I am underwilling to associate with charismatic would be religous leaders for this reason. The failures tend to be from zipper issues as much as anything, and when they happen, it gets big.
rmnixondeceased
November 18th, 2013 @ 11:15 am

Any ‘pastor’ or minister that sets their congregation onto the path of worshiping the ‘pastor’ instead of Christ is wrong. Beware ant religious leader that does so for they are deceivers and agents (wittingly or unwittingly) of Satan, sent to lead believers astray and into false worship …
Quartermaster
November 18th, 2013 @ 11:24 am

It is still immoral. I like the name for an adulterer in German, “ehebrecher.” It translates literally as marriage criminal. Even in civil ceremonies there are commitments that one makes and to break them makes you a criminal of sorts.
rsmccain
November 18th, 2013 @ 11:25 am

RT @kjcopp: Kudos! > @rsmccain The Parable of Banging the Babysitter #DougPhillips http://t.co/jgnJTSTEou @sjreidhead @DefendTheSheep
Quartermaster
November 18th, 2013 @ 11:26 am

I have no idea what “brand” of Christianity you are pushing, but it ain’t in scripture. I know of no one teaching what you say they are teaching, and that includes among the Word of Faith types.
Quartermaster
November 18th, 2013 @ 11:27 am

The good ones have safeguards that they consistently observe to prevent just what has happened to this man. Provide a breach and Scratch is more than happy to waltz right through.
Quartermaster
November 18th, 2013 @ 11:29 am

There is a biblical doctrine of salvation, and in that doctrine once salvation is obtained, it is forever. That does not happen however, until you have entered eternity.
Quartermaster
November 18th, 2013 @ 11:32 am

I’ll a bit further. Any one that places themselves between the believer and Christ is a cult to be avoided. You don’t join the church to be born again, you come into the church by being born again – the rolls are kept in heaven, not in the church office. There is only one mediator between God and man, the man Jesus Christ.
rsmccain
November 18th, 2013 @ 11:36 am

“Thou shalt not commit adultery, except for humping the nanny” http://t.co/JIj50E3mKM cc @Instapundit @AceofSpadesHQ @rdbrewer4 #tcot
Katie Scarlet
November 18th, 2013 @ 11:44 am

heh, “inappropriate physical component” I wonder how that will go down in the confessional.
robertstacymccain
November 18th, 2013 @ 11:48 am

The “rock star” attitude toward leaders is a problem separate and apart from whatever doctrine is taught.

I have seen similar things happen in the world of politics. It has been said that “Washington is Hollywood for ugly people,” and the “celebrities” of politics attract their share of lovestruck groupies.
Julie Pascal
November 18th, 2013 @ 11:51 am

I suppose the underaged Christian girl allowed it for exactly the same reasons as we insist that there be an age for legal consent. She was young and suggestible. That and a slow build up of “it’s just kissing, not sex”, “it’s just touching, not sex”, “it’s just an orgasm, you’re still a virgin…”

Not that older people are necessarily more wise, but there is a reason that we’re taught not to play with temptation but to cut it off when it’s very small. And learning that lesson is how adults stay faithful, too. Cheating starts long before any actual actions. People make fun of Carter, but really… lusting after someone in your mind is wrong, too. I’m not saying that anyone ought not *notice* the attractiveness of those around them, but you don’t let your mind dwell in those places.
rsmccain
November 18th, 2013 @ 11:54 am

RT @MrEvilMatt: The Parable of Banging the Babysitter: It was perhaps inevitable that the Christian homeschooling movement wou… http://t.…
sarah wells
November 18th, 2013 @ 11:55 am

You are blaming the girl. Blame the man for his own downfall. She was a girl, young and foolish, when he imposed on her, and if she was foolish enough to pin her heart on this man you can blame stupidity, wanting to believe they had some pure kind of love that would win the day – and oxytocin for her continuing attachment. She apparently did get wise.

Unless you think it was her duty to stay quiet and hide her own shame and not demand he expose his frailty – something many people demand of young people lured and coaxed and pressured and turned into co-conspirators, I don’t see how his fall is HER fault, or that she is somehow guilty of unfair dealing with him. He had the power and the age and wisdom and the headship of a family and much more responsibility for tossing away the teachings of a lifetime.
Evi L. Bloggerlady
November 18th, 2013 @ 12:00 pm

“I engaged in a lengthy, inappropriate relationship with a woman,” he wrote. “While we did not ‘know’ each other in a Biblical sense, it was nevertheless inappropriately romantic and affectionate.”

Hmmmm. I guess we will see about that. Lies, however, only make things worse.
Julie Pascal
November 18th, 2013 @ 12:03 pm

I certainly didn’t read that as blaming her for his downfall! Not in any way.

Her own downfall? Maybe a little bit. Certainly she’d been taught that sex outside of marriage was wrong and that you don’t set your heart on someone who isn’t *available*. And we’re parents, right? We want to believe that if we teach our children properly, that if we bring them up properly, that they’ll be safe from making bad mistakes, even when they’re young.

It’s sort of distressing to know it’s not always true.
Dana
November 18th, 2013 @ 12:14 pm

One of my (barely) Protestant friends was ragging a couple of us Catholics, saying that heck, we could do whatever we wanted, and then just go to confession on Saturday and wipe the slate clean. A buddy of mine beat me to it: if you think it’s that easy, just try sitting in that chair!

Of course, Mr Philips is a Protestant, so he doesn’t have to sit in that chair!
rdbrewer4
November 18th, 2013 @ 12:15 pm

RT @rsmccain: “Thou shalt not commit adultery, except for humping the nanny” http://t.co/JIj50E3mKM cc @Instapundit @AceofSpadesHQ @rdbrewe…
Dana
November 18th, 2013 @ 12:17 pm

It’s generally a bad idea? 🙂 Could you give us an example of when it isn’t a bad idea to bang the babysitter?
Art Deco
November 18th, 2013 @ 12:19 pm

I think it is a less acutely bad idea when neither of you are married to anyone else and she is not a high school student.
Dana
November 18th, 2013 @ 12:20 pm

Thing is, even if they did not actually copulate — though, it should be remembered, that Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky never actually copulated — no one is going to believe him, because no one wants to believe him. He’d have been better off not to have included that second sentence, even if it is true.
Art Deco
November 18th, 2013 @ 12:23 pm

You are blaming the girl.

Unless information to the contrary emerges, I do not imagine he raped her or drugged her. She is per reports in the latter half of her 20s, so a willing participant.

Accountability. It’s great stuff.
Art Deco
November 18th, 2013 @ 12:24 pm

It is usually not true. The young are remarkably impervious to your counsel, even when you are paying the bills.
rsmccain
November 18th, 2013 @ 12:24 pm

RT @Citzcom: The Parable of Banging the Babysitter: It was perhaps inevitable that the Christian homeschooling movement wou… http://t.co/…
ThomasD
November 18th, 2013 @ 12:48 pm

Generally, IMO, it is a bad idea to spend any time alone with the babysitter.

Even if your motives and actions are entirely pure hers might not be, so best to always play it safe.