The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

Just Call Me ‘Grandpa McCain’

Posted on | November 23, 2013 | 180 Comments

The Victory Through Breeding™ program — our long-term plan for McCain world dominance through superior procreative capacity — took an important step forward this morning with the birth of our first grandchild James William McCain Jr.

Equipped by ancestral heritage with a keen eye for quality womanhood, our son Jim clearly chose well in his selection of the lovely Danielle as his mate. She may look like a delicate slender thing, but her reproductive excellence was amply demonstrated. Not only did she carry our first grandchild two weeks past the normal gestation period (which scientific researchers theorize is an adaptation necessary for the advanced development of the massive McCain brain), but Danielle accomplished the delivery after just 20 hours of labor.

Obviously, a woman  worthy of the McCain seed.

Did I mention that Danielle is also an honor student? The Next Generation of the McCain World Dominance System is proceeding with expected advances in the James 2.0 prototype, who immediately began a series of cardio-pulmonary exercises we call “aerobic crying.”

It is to be hoped that the arrival of Baby James will set off a procreative stampede. Aunt Kennedy is rumored to be envious that her younger brother beat her to the honor of providing us with our first grandchild, and word from Fort Bragg is that Uncle Bob is worried that his status as an Army Special Forces trainee may delay him in matching his twin brother’s achievement. And also our younger children — Uncle Jeff, Uncle Emerson and Aunt Reagan — now have the inspiration for their own future contributions to the McCain World Dominance System.

“All is proceeding as I have foreseen.”

Further photos and videos of adorable cuteness are anticipated, as our sweet little Baby James makes his own distinct effort to teach the online world The Five Most Important Words in the English Language:

“Hit the freaking tip jar!”





Category: Family

Comments

180 Responses to “Just Call Me ‘Grandpa McCain’”

  1. John LaRosa
    November 24th, 2013 @ 9:02 am

    Congrats!!!

  2. mVespa1
    November 24th, 2013 @ 9:12 am

    RT @ali: Congrats my friend. RT @rsmccain: Just Call Me ‘Grandpa McCain’ http://t.co/gZSvEiQ42P WARNING: Adorable Cuteness!

  3. good2knoe
    November 24th, 2013 @ 9:18 am

    RT @jslconsulting: Congrats to 1st-time Grandpa @rsmccain ==> http://t.co/fqJbQ5qHld Time for a new avi, Stacy? http://t.co/WitKAEdTFf

  4. Mamadoxie
    November 24th, 2013 @ 9:19 am

    Congrats! (Awesome Blognouncement) Just Call Me ‘Grandpa McCain’ : The Other McCain – http://t.co/vyZMI5pTKT

  5. TeresaE17
    November 24th, 2013 @ 9:20 am

    RT @rsmccain: Just Call Me ‘Grandpa McCain’ http://t.co/skKW2CON5X WARNING: Adorable Cuteness!

  6. Serr8d
    November 24th, 2013 @ 9:29 am

    Congratulations!

    I will now helpfully list a few common synonyms for the term ‘grandfather’…

    Grandfather: Father Time, Methuselah, Nestor, Old Paar, centenarian, dotard, elder, gaffer, geezer, golden-ager, grampa, gramps, grandpa, grandsire, graybeard, nonagenarian, octogenarian, old chap, old codger, old dog, old duffer, old geezer, old gent, old gentleman, old man, old party, old-timer, older, oldster, pantaloon, patriarch, presbyter, senior citizen, septuagenarian, sexagenarian, the quiet-voiced elders, venerable sir

    And remember: one word you’ll find difficult to use going forward, when your grandchild comes to you for things denied by his parents:

    “No”.

    Cheers, and may God bless all of this branch of the McCain family!

  7. ConchoQueen
    November 24th, 2013 @ 9:49 am

    ——> @rsmccain <——-
    #twitterHOOT It’s a Grandpa!
    http://t.co/nMFh1nDFxw

  8. Sorta Blogless Sunday Pinup » Pirate's Cove
    November 24th, 2013 @ 10:11 am

    […] And last, but not least, congratulatons to Grandpa R.S. McCain! […]

  9. ThatChristyChic
    November 24th, 2013 @ 10:42 am

    RT @jslconsulting: Congrats to 1st-time Grandpa @rsmccain ==> http://t.co/fqJbQ5qHld Time for a new avi, Stacy? http://t.co/WitKAEdTFf

  10. Eric Ashley
    November 24th, 2013 @ 11:12 am

    Today is a good day. Congratulations to one and all in the Clan McCain.

  11. Eric Ashley
    November 24th, 2013 @ 11:13 am

    And in that future, all men with wear fedoras. Buy stock in hat companies NOW!

  12. Calvin Everhart
    November 24th, 2013 @ 11:41 am

    May all good things happen to this child, and their folks, Congratulations Stacy.

  13. Garym
    November 24th, 2013 @ 11:43 am

    Congratulations!! …… and many more!?!?

  14. Garym
    November 24th, 2013 @ 11:44 am

    LOL!!

  15. Garym
    November 24th, 2013 @ 11:48 am

    Ouch!!

  16. Garym
    November 24th, 2013 @ 11:54 am

    You missed Pop-Pop, but its a good list.

  17. InaudibleNoise
    November 24th, 2013 @ 12:07 pm

    Big Weekend for @rsmccain CONGRATS Grandpa! http://t.co/xnwXI6AKvd

  18. Go Jimmy!
    November 24th, 2013 @ 1:59 pm

    Way to ejaculate into that girl’s vagina, Jimmy!

  19. Go Jimmy!
    November 24th, 2013 @ 2:00 pm

    Another boy brought into the McCain Klan. White power, Stace!

  20. WJJ Hoge
    November 24th, 2013 @ 2:01 pm

    Hope he doesn’t turn out to be an obese waste of space like WJJ Hoge IV, eh?

  21. Poor Child
    November 24th, 2013 @ 2:01 pm

    Lots more marital rapes in the McCain future. Don’t you worry!

  22. Go Jimmy!
    November 24th, 2013 @ 2:02 pm

    Instead of ‘hit the freakin’ tip jar’, how about ‘pay your freakin’ tax bill’ you trashy fuck. Do we need more babies on welfare?

  23. Prayers
    November 24th, 2013 @ 2:24 pm

    How many times have you sodomized Jefferson, Stacy? 30? 45?

  24. Love Stace
    November 24th, 2013 @ 2:26 pm

    More like Drunk-Drunk.

  25. Quartermaster
    November 24th, 2013 @ 7:09 pm

    You left out patriarchy.

  26. Quartermaster
    November 24th, 2013 @ 7:11 pm

    The trolls are still hyperactive. I’ve flagged a number of “comments.”

  27. richard mcenroe
    November 24th, 2013 @ 7:42 pm

    Just make me the sammich. There, how’s that?

  28. Eric Ashley
    November 24th, 2013 @ 11:36 pm

    Yes they are. QM

  29. The Other Jeff S.
    November 25th, 2013 @ 9:12 am

    Congratulations, Stacy, to you and Mrs. McCain, and James’ parents. Green is the tree of life. May blessings be showered upon your grandson.

  30. This Crazy Week, Undaunted Edition | Blackmailers Don't Shoot
    November 25th, 2013 @ 12:31 pm

    […] The Other McCain: The #TexasWomenForever Baby-Killer Democrat Online Fund-Raising Flop – Congrats to the new Grandpa! […]