Posted on | March 14, 2014 | 52 Comments
The headline at progressive blog Alternet:
Everybody is talking about this? Really? It’s a podcast, for crying out loud. But never mind that. Here’s the background:
Corinne Fisher and Krystyna Hutchinson have had a lot of sex — and they’re not afraid to talk about it.
After Fisher went through a rough breakup, the two New York-based stand-up comedians, both in their mid-20s, decided to pool their collective un-shame about sex and create a podcast in which they interviewed men they’d slept with. The first episode of “Guys We F**ked, The Anti Slut-Shaming Podcast” was released in December. Since then, their audience has grown quickly, and the show now has over 200,000 subscribers on SoundCloud.
“We’re saying, have a lot of sex and be proud of it,” Hutchinson explains at the beginning of the debut episode.
I was going through a really tough breakup and I was trying to think of different ways I could better myself as a human being. I had this John Cusack-like idea that if I went back and talked to different people I had slept with or had relationships with, I could figure out if I was doing something wrong. That progressed into Krystyna and I making it into something a little more empowering and a little less personal.
Hate stems from fear and I think [people who engage in "slut-shaming" are] just afraid of a woman who is empowered and sexually in charge and in control of her own body. And I also think that some people were raised to feel this way because the people in their lives didn’t have a positive attitude towards women, and they don’t realize that it’s messed up.
How many reiterations of this claim — that men who disapprove of promiscuity are afraid of “empowered” women — must we endure, before the voice of reason gets a chance to interrupt?
If sex is merely a source of recreational pleasure — always this, and never anything more — then the only argument against promiscuity is the risk of venereal disease or unwanted pregnancy. As serious as those risks may be, the stronger argument against promiscuity requires us to understand sex in its natural function, as the means of prcreation, in the context of discussing the need to form enduring pair-bonds to provide secure upbringing for children.
Promiscuous people become habituated to having a variety of sexual partners, beginning and ending “relationships” as soon as they or their partner get bored with it. A person in their 20s who has been sexually active since their mid-teens, who has gone through a half-dozen “relationships,” as well as a number of casual short-term “hook-ups,” will have difficulty adjusting to married life, because the habit of continually seeking new partners is ingrained in their personality.
So a promiscuous person — however desirable they may be as a partner for recreational sex — is undesirable as a spouse, because of the likelihood that they will be adulterous. A guy doesn’t want to marry a slut because he figures she’ll become bored with monogamy and cheat on him. The prospect of marriage to such a woman entails a high risk that the unlucky guy’s future will include child-support payments and weekend visitation. Married women — and single women who would like to get married — disdain sluts because promiscuous women make unencumbered sex readily available, thus reducing the incentives for men to get married and stay married.
The dignity of all women, and the security of their children, is impaired by the shameless promiscuity of sluts. Sure, “it takes two to tango,” and men are responsible for their own actions, but women whose behavior fosters an expectation of the easy availability of sexual “hook-ups” are harming other women’s prospects for happiness.
Corinne Fisher and Krystyna Hutchinson probably don’t discuss that perspective on “Guys We Fucked,” and I’ll also guess that amid all their chatter about how “empowering” it is to sleep around, they never discuss promiscuity as symptomatic of low self-esteem.
The correlation between promiscuity and emotional disorders is not random. You hear young single guys talking about this problem a lot: “Hey, I met this girl at a party and we hooked up right away. The sex was awesome at first, but we broke up after a couple of weeks because she turned out to be The Psycho Bitch From Hell.”
Gee, do you think that’s a coincidence?
Crazy women often have “issues” with substance abuse and difficulty maintaining relationships, so when you meet a drunk chick at a party or in a bar, and she’s eager to hook up with you, there is a non-zero chance that she’s The Psycho Bitch From Hell.
Women who use sex as a way of dealing with self-esteem problems usually wind up getting dumped by a series of users and losers, experiences that only reinforce their self-esteem deficits. They can talk all they want about how “empowered” they are. They’re not.
— Robert Stacy McCain (@rsmccain) March 15, 2014
Feminism: The Ideology of Insanity.