Happy Lesbian Father’s Day!

Posted on | June 14, 2014 | 37 Comments

@SunnyBjerk is tired of the stigma, you guys:

This year, as Alli and I await the birth of our first child, due this fall, we began receiving our first Mother’s Day congratulations from friends and family. . . .
I’m most often asked whether I’m worried about bonding with the baby as the non-biological parent.
I’ve got to tell you, this question infuriates me.
Despite what are certainly best intentions and a tacit show of empathy, the question irks me because it puts a premium on biological links, as though the strength of a parent-child relationship is only correlated to bloodlines: the more biologically-related, the stronger the bond. As an adoptee myself, with a partner raised by lesbian moms, I know that there are many ties beyond biology that bind families and drive the parent/child bond. Though it’s less surprising that this sentiment is common among heterosexual couples who usually reproduce biological children, I am struck by the force of this sentiment within the LGBT community . . .

In case you missed any of that: Bjerk was adopted and her lesbian partner Allison Auldrige (now pregnant with “our first child”) was “raised by lesbian moms.” Bjerk continues:

Even as we battle the myths surrounding race, gender, gender roles, sexuality, class, domesticity and the nuclear family, we haven’t adequately addressed the myths or stigma around non-biological family structures, particularly when it comes to parent-child relationships and adoption. And though I don’t want to discourage any couple from having biological children, I do want to suggest that it’s high time we address the stigma of non-biologically related family members.
As an adoptee, I’ve witnessed this stigma first-hand. . . .

(In the span of three sentences, she used “stigma” three times. Perhaps we should stigmatize repetitiveness?)

The fact of the matter is that families come in all shapes, sizes and formations. More gay parents and straight parents alike are raising stepchildren and/or adopted children, bringing much-needed awareness about the growth of blended families in the country. Indeed, more than three million LGBT Americans have children, and more than 125,000 same-sex couples are currently raising one or more children under the age of 18, including biological, step, or adopted children. What’s more, six million Americans report having a parent who self-identifies as LGBT.
I think this growing family diversity is something to celebrate. . . .

Well, of course, you do! Forty percent of children are born to unmarried women and half of marriages with children end in divorce and isn’t “this growing family diversity” totally awesome? Really, normal parents who stay married should be ashamed of themselves for cheating their children out of “family diversity.”

Father’s Day is a perfect occasion for lectures about the meaning of “family” from lesbians whose sperm-donor motherhood deliberately deprives their children of having a father. Hallmark has finally issued LGBT Father’s Day cards, and I’m sure everybody celebrated “Blogging for LGBTQ Families Day,” right?

A big thanks to everyone who participated in Blogging for LGBTQ Families Day this year, submitting a total of over 120 posts! . . .
Shoshana, “the mid-twenties, mixed race, Jewish, pansexual daughter of two lesbians and an Indian sperm donor,” shares her take on”Questions not to ask the mixed race daughter of two Jewish lesbians” and explains what it was like for her “Coming out as a member of an LGBT+ family.” . . .
Sonya, at the COLAGE KidSafe blog, writes of “Two Separate Identities,” hers and her moms’. She’s the queer child of lesbian moms, but explains that she is not queer because of them.
Hannah Moch, who has two moms, writes at the GLAAD blog about why she publicly thanked her moms at her college graduation — including the fact that the two of them remained friends even after they broke up.

And they all lived insanely ever after!

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Category: Family, Gays

Comments

37 Responses to “Happy Lesbian Father’s Day!”

Political Rift » Happy Lesbian Father’s Day!
June 14th, 2014 @ 4:15 pm

[…] Read more here: Happy Lesbian Father’s Day! […]
Adjoran
June 14th, 2014 @ 4:24 pm

When Western Civilization falls to the islamic horde, the degradation of our culture over the last half-century will be the main culprit. Whether you choose to lay the blame on progressivism, hedonism, socialism, moral decay, or apportion it among them, there is no doubt these things have not strengthened our society.

“Gay rights” has led to the gay mafia where people are fired for their private donations and beliefs, where people are forced to serve those who violate their religious principles, and where law firms are afraid to represent those who oppose the Gay Wave because protestors will show up on their corporate clients’ doorsteps.
Escher's House
June 14th, 2014 @ 4:45 pm

Let me explain something to you, Sunny. The law thinks the biological connection matters a lot. When you and Alli break up, dear, as you inevitably will, the domestic relations court is never going to give you full or shared custody, if Alli objects. The best you’ll get is visitation. The sperm donor father has a better shot than you, even if he’s signed away his parental rights. You need to read Troxell v Granville and its progeny to understand.
jakee308
June 14th, 2014 @ 4:45 pm

Her name should be B a Jerk.

Cause she is.

Are names the deciders of our fate?

I’ve long been fascinated by the selections of careers and their correlation or correspondence with the name of the person.

Most are neutral but some are written in fire.
Cactus Ed
June 14th, 2014 @ 4:56 pm

We consider, say, Islamic culture to be benighted and backward, fanatical and anti-Enlightenment, but our trash culture is not much better. Suppose you are a Muslim and you look to the West. What do you see? Decadence. And an opportunity to bury the West.

If Muslims think that our decadent culture is what Western values are all about, and something we are trying to impose on them, then we are in trouble. They do and we are.
robertstacymccain
June 14th, 2014 @ 4:57 pm

Somehow, the patriarchy must be to blame for this.
JoeMyGodNYC
June 14th, 2014 @ 5:00 pm

Happy Douchebag Day, Robert McClain!
200th Anniversary of “The Star-Spangled Banner” – and Weekend Links
June 14th, 2014 @ 5:09 pm

[…] Other McCain has many good blog posts up including this one by Stacy on “Happy Lesbian Father’s […]
Escher's House
June 14th, 2014 @ 5:18 pm

Indeed. All those men on the Supreme Court in 2000.
concern00
June 14th, 2014 @ 5:27 pm

The point they all miss is that they are manufacturing these celebratingly (not a real word) diverse broken and damaged families by choice. I’d give them some respect if they didn’t create a child to be their possession and instead invested their choice to forgo real motherhood into looking after actual children in need.

Instead they create another generation of children in need…future victims for the regressive grinder.
RKae
June 14th, 2014 @ 5:27 pm

Blended families are nothing to celebrate. Except in cases of someone being widowed, a blended family means someone somewhere was a selfish ass and destroyed a marriage, and now other people have to pick up the pieces.
ThePaganTemple
June 14th, 2014 @ 6:20 pm

Stacy is that a facsimile of Bill and Hillary’s artificial insemination device or is it the real thing? If the latter, you might be able to clone Chelsea.
Phil_McG
June 14th, 2014 @ 6:30 pm

“the question irks me because it puts a premium on biological links, as though […] the more biologically-related, the stronger the bond.”

Curse you, mammalian biology! If only we were enlightened in our reproductive habits, like fish.

Some enterprising law firm should sue reality itself for discrimination.

“As an adoptee myself, with a partner raised by lesbian moms”

What are the odds that a girl raised by two lesbians should turn out lesbian herself, bearing in mind that only 2% of the population is gay? What an amazing coincidence.

“bringing much-needed awareness about the growth of blended families in the country.”

I’m sure some “blended” families are just like the Brady Bunch. But most of the time “blended” just means “shitty”. It’s shitty that many people don’t care enough about their children to give them a stable family environment. It’s shitty that there are single mothers who shack up with a series of boyfriends. It’s shitty that people who are legally adults behave like horny teenagers.

The traditional nuclear family wasn’t invented to oppress people, it exists because it gives children the best chance in life.

So the problem isn’t that we have imaginary stigmas against adoptive parents. The problem is that we no longer have effective social stigmas against unfit mothers and shitty fathers who don’t stick around to raise their own children.
Phil_McG
June 14th, 2014 @ 6:39 pm

I have the feeling you celebrate Douchebag Day all year round, Joe.
Phil_McG
June 14th, 2014 @ 6:43 pm

B-b-but they want a child! And it’s hateful to suggest people shouldn’t always get everything they want. They’ll scream!

Veruca Salt is the template for modern society.
MeasureforMeasure
June 14th, 2014 @ 7:06 pm

You can’t really be too bothered with some troller who can’t even get the host’s name correct .
RS
June 14th, 2014 @ 7:11 pm

While we are all aware of situations where a “blended” family works, the fact of the matter is, as someone pointed out above, a necessary precondition is something horrific happening to a biological family. Death, divorce or whatever. Those blended families which are a blessing to the members are the exception to the rule, and even those members retain scars from the initial trauma. These “celebrants” wish to ignore all the questions which inevitably rise: Who is my father? Why didn’t my parents want me? To say that adult-child living arrangements are fungible denies reality at the expense of people’s emotional well-being.
concern00
June 14th, 2014 @ 7:14 pm

Veruca Salt is the epitome of modern regressives.
cmdr358
June 14th, 2014 @ 10:39 pm

In an article last week it was stated that the actress Sarah Gilbert ” has two children WITH ex-partner….”

In the comments section I asked the simple question “Does one of them have a penis?” The responses replies that I received were rather unpleasant to say the least. But really, how does one woman “have a child” with another woman?

God created man and woman for a reason- to populate Earth. Even for those who do not believe in God the actual physical nature of procreation stands.

You can’t have it both ways.
cmdr358
June 14th, 2014 @ 10:45 pm

I can understand a segment of the Muslim world not wanting their culture influenced by ours.
I know that they are only observing the absolute worst parts of our culture but those parts ARE pretty f’d up.
He’ll, I don’t WANT to hear about them but I see it as my duty to resist their changing of my country.
Nan
June 15th, 2014 @ 12:19 am

It depends. Where I live, one city allowed gay people to adopt their partners child, the other city didn’t; thus, my mom’s colleague and her now-former partner were each able to adopt the other’s child.
Batshit Crazies Who Hate Their Dads | Batshit Crazy News
June 15th, 2014 @ 12:58 am

[…] TOM: Happy Lesbian Fathers Day […]
concern00
June 15th, 2014 @ 3:59 am

Islam is celebrating the decadence of the West. They will pretend (Taqiyya) to go along the the useful idiots, but ultimately those very same regressives are doing more to further the cause of fundamental Islam than any military campaign ever has.
Adjoran
June 15th, 2014 @ 6:18 am

The feminists’ problem was foreseen by Sam “Lightning” Hopkins:

Lord, she ain’t no Cadillac,
That woman ain’t no V8 Ford,
Do you hear me?
She ain’t no Cadillac,
She ain’t no V8 Ford,
She got the shape, all right
But that woman can’t carry no load
Understand me now?
K-Bob
June 15th, 2014 @ 7:35 am

That’s how the law used to work.

Nowdays, you also have to take into account the circumference of the Earth, the international dateline, carry the one, and then the inevitable liberal judge.

These are the new, post-Constitutional rules buried in the ACA, the Sarbanes-Oxley Act, and Dodd-Frank. It’s well over thirty-thousand pages of just the act and related rules adjustments. It doesn’t count any of the rules that can be established by various agencies under those acts.

I forgot the clown shoes rule, too. When you appeal, you must arrive in clown shoes. If you cannot afford clown shoes, you will be issued a pair (not guaranteed to fit).
Matthew T. Mason
June 15th, 2014 @ 8:36 am

Stacy, this has been crossposted at Barbwire. The “mods” have let the homosexuals run amok over there, so it should be both amusing and disgusting at the same time.
Escher's House
June 15th, 2014 @ 8:59 am

Custody and adoption decisions are made on a case-by-case basis weighing many factors and hinging on the best interests of the child.

Adoption is a formal court-supervised process. Any state that has gay marriage will likely allow adoption by the non-biological parent. Any state that does not permit gay marriage will judge the application much more harshly. In each instance, though, the adoptive parent must positively prove her fitness. That accounts for the variations within different jurisdictions in a particular state.

An adoptive parent does have parental rights, that cannot be denied, without a showing of unfitness. But you would be surprised at how many lesbians do not go through the formal process. (With gay men, it’s different, both partners, whether biological parent or non-biological, almost always go through the process.)

The biological parent will generally receive the nod under Troxell, unless there’s a showing of unfitness or a strong showing of best interests of the child.
Daniel O'Brien
June 15th, 2014 @ 9:20 am

(In the span of three sentences, she used “stigma” three times. Perhaps we should stigmatize repetitiveness?)

“Omit needless words. Omit needless words. Omit needless words.”
Daniel O'Brien
June 15th, 2014 @ 9:22 am

But just think about it a second. Our new Islamic Overlords will “fix” all our degradation. That must be what the Left believe. They will get their heads chopped off, LAST.
Dana
June 15th, 2014 @ 9:42 am

Is the B silent in Bjerk?
Dana
June 15th, 2014 @ 9:47 am

For those who don’t know, JoeMyGod is a fairly popular homosexual blogger, for whom anything, anything! which in any way notes that heterosexuality is normal and everything else is not is utterly repugnant. .
Dana
June 15th, 2014 @ 9:48 am

I wonder whom he thought The Other McClain would be?
Dana
June 15th, 2014 @ 9:56 am

And when Western Civilization falls to the Islamist hordes, it will be the homosexuals and the trannies and all of the other not-normal people who will be rounded up first. Given the abnormals’ attempts to destroy Western Civilization, it will be a kind of karmic justice when they are the first to be hanged by the Islamists.

In the Islamic Republic of Iran, all homosexuals are well hung. (I will understand if our host wishes to delete the photograph.) http://www.maartenschild.com/lawrence/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Hang.jpg
cmdr358
June 15th, 2014 @ 11:31 am

The Other McClain must be Bruce Willis?
From Around the Blogroll: Flag Day Edition! | The First Street Journal.
June 15th, 2014 @ 2:30 pm

[…] the notion by some “Feminists” that Father’s Day ought to be ended, along with another story on Happy Lesbian Father’s Day! […]
RichFader
June 15th, 2014 @ 10:25 pm

I was going to ask the same question about this couple.
cmdr358
June 15th, 2014 @ 10:42 pm

They do want to have both ways.

They want to say “We have a son/daughter together” and try to fit in as a family, but it’s simply a self-gratifying abuse of language.

“We adopted…” Or “I adopted my partners…” would be a far more accurate and truthful statement.

At an estimated 2-4% of the current population these folks are abnormal. I mean no harm nor ill will when I say that. I am simply saying what is true.

They cannot have it both ways.