The Other McCain

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Women’s Soccer Scandal: Famous Player Is Allegedly Violent, Heterosexual

Posted on | June 22, 2014 | 18 Comments

Hope Solo won two Olympic gold medals as goalie of the U.S. women’s team, and is now under arrest in Washington State:

Kirkland police said a man called 911 to report a woman was assaulting someone inside the house in the 10600 block of 124th Avenue Northeast. The officers arrived to find soccer great Hope Solo, allegedly appearing intoxicated and upset. Her sister and 17-year-old nephew were injured. They concluded Solo was the aggressor and arrested her.

A soccer player is a violent criminal? This isn’t really news, is it? But the real scandal is buried deeper in the story:

Two years ago, former [University of Washington] and NFL player Jerramy Stevens was arrested for allegedly assaulting Solo.  Hours later, the couple married; the charges were later dropped.

A female athlete is heterosexual? Married to a man?

This is a shocking revelation because, as everybody knows, the entire purpose of women’s professional sports leagues is to provide young girls with lesbian role models. WNBA attendance is comprised primarily of lesbian basketball coaches who bring girls from their youth-league and high-school teams to the games so they can watch their professional lesbian heroes in action. There have been rumors some WNBA players were heterosexual, but nobody believes that kind of malicious gossip.

Girls sports teams are basically lesbian training programs, and the farther up the competitive ladder they advance, the more female athletes find themselves surrounded by lesbians. While your average high school girls’ basketball, volleyball or softball player is not gay, most of the players who get college scholarships are lesbians, or become lesbians while in college. In women’s professional sports, lesbianism is so commonplace as to be taken for granted. When Hope Solo’s 2008 U.S. Olympic soccer teammate Natasha Kai said in an NBC interview that she nearly didn’t make the team because she was distracted by a break-up with her girlfriend, almost nobody noticed. In 2012, U.S. Olympic soccer forward Megan Rapinoe gave an interview to a gay magazine saying “she is a lesbian and in a committed relationship with a woman,” explaining that she felt the need to announce this because nobody had bothered to ask: “In female sports, if you’re gay, most likely your team knows it pretty quickly. It’s very open and widely supported.”

Heterosexuality, by contrast, is very shameful and secretive in female sports, which explains why so few people previously suspected there was a straight woman on the U.S. Olympic team.



18 Responses to “Women’s Soccer Scandal: Famous Player Is Allegedly Violent, Heterosexual”

  1. Evi L. Bloggerlady
    June 22nd, 2014 @ 11:02 am

    Do you want a Rule 5 on this? Of course you do!

  2. Dana
    June 22nd, 2014 @ 11:22 am

    Of course!

  3. Hope Solo Rule 5 | Batshit Crazy News
    June 22nd, 2014 @ 11:25 am

    […] Solo has become a hot commodity in sports related endorsements.  But as TOM reported this morning, Hope Solo has some drama going on in her life.  A domestic violence charge is the last thing she needs, although this is not the first […]

  4. Evi L. Bloggerlady
    June 22nd, 2014 @ 11:38 am

    Aren’t all LGBT virtuous people (100%) and all heterosexual people compromised morally?

  5. Dave R
    June 22nd, 2014 @ 12:05 pm

    How about Alex Morgan for some non-crazy?

  6. daleyrocks
    June 22nd, 2014 @ 12:25 pm

    Heterosexuals in the mist!

  7. The Daley Gator | Your Headline of the Day
    June 22nd, 2014 @ 12:31 pm

    […] Women’s Soccer Scandal: Famous Player Is Allegedly Violent, Heterosexual […]

  8. Nate
    June 22nd, 2014 @ 12:59 pm

    Let’s see…a drunken fight, indoors, between family members. Typical Friday night at Bubba’s Trailer Court. If anything, this should have been a Cops episode.

  9. Evi L. Bloggerlady
    June 22nd, 2014 @ 1:38 pm

    It has an old school Jerry Springer quality to it.

  10. Earl Scruggs
    June 22nd, 2014 @ 2:32 pm

    Had a friend used to play in the LPGA. She was straight but did not seem so. I guess it helped.

    Anyway, she said CBS would move the cameras to get the large crowds of dykes out of view. Which would probably be a hate crime today.

    But that was before the daughters of Korean mobsters set out to take over the sport.

    Which is a story in itself.

  11. Kirby McCain
    June 22nd, 2014 @ 3:05 pm

    A female athlete is heterosexual? Married to a man?They’re going to get you one of these days and no one will be surprised.

  12. Doug Kursk
    June 22nd, 2014 @ 3:19 pm

    If the last game was any indication, our Canadian Girls are going to go hockey on Hope and her pals one of these days, there is no love lost between those women.In the stands I heard “our lesbians against your lesbians”!!

  13. WarEagle82
    June 22nd, 2014 @ 3:29 pm

    Wait, is she married to Han Solo? I guess he and Princess Leia didn’t make it work after all. Nothing lasts in, even in galaxy far, far away…

  14. SD GOP Votes to Impeach Obama | Regular Right Guy
    June 22nd, 2014 @ 3:33 pm

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  15. Adjoran
    June 22nd, 2014 @ 4:13 pm

    most of the players who get college scholarships are lesbians, or become lesbians while in college.

    Really? Gotta source, or is it your butt?

  16. Evi L. Bloggerlady
    June 22nd, 2014 @ 4:45 pm

    Maybe back in the day the women who got sports scholarships at his school all turned him down? Thus, they must be lesbians: quod erat demonstrandum!

    Of course, the other explanation could be he was engaging in some sarcasm.

  17. concern00
    June 22nd, 2014 @ 5:28 pm

    I seem to be running out of witty rejoinders.

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    June 28th, 2014 @ 9:31 pm

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