The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

Amy Schumer Will Tell You What to Think (And You Must Comply)

Posted on | March 29, 2016 | 44 Comments


What can I say about @AmySchumer? Only what I have said so often before: Feminism Is a Totalitarian Movement to Destroy Civilization as We Know It, and the kind of “humor” that emerges from a totalitarian death cult is Amy Schumer’s stock in trade. She is the 21st-century heiress to the caustic legacy of Roseanne Barr, Rosie O’Donnell, Janeane Garofalo and Margaret Cho. Schumer arguably has great talent as a clown, but her stock-in-trade is the expression of resentment, which makes her hugely popular with women who share a similarly resentful attitude. If you’re my age — 56, and old enough to remember the Great Standup Comic Cable TV Bonzanza of the 1980s — you’ve seen this act before. There is a familiarity to Schumer’s deliberately vulgar routine (“We are whores. . . . I’ve taken the morning-after pill the night before”) and yet you may not recognize where this style comes from.

Basically, she is a feminist version of Andrew Dice Clay. “Feminist humor” is merely a reversal of that over-the-top sexist act, a type of humor that male comedians are no longer allowed to employ.

This is why so many young guys (and by “young,” I mean, under 40) react to the strictures of political correctness as badly as they do. Young guys have grown up in a world where so much is off-limits — sexist, racist, homophobic or otherwise “offensive” — that they feel like they’re cornered and under surveillance by the Thought Police. And so they delight in saying Things You Are Not Supposed to Say, an atavistic impulse. Look, I have never in my life felt the need to hurl certain slurs at women. There are some words (hint: starting with “C”) that you simply do not say, certainly not if you wish to take the high ground in opposition to feminists. Nor do you score any points for the cause of heteronormative patriarchy if your stock response to a feminist’s argument is to call her fat, ugly and “unf–kable.” Even if a feminist looks like John Goodman in drag, you probably don’t want to be the guy to point this out.


Amy Schumer Breaks Down in Tears
Over Body Image: “It’s Been
a Struggle My Whole Life”

Permit me to explain, to any clueless young men who might read this, that women are keenly aware that they are judged by their looks. Whether she is thin or fat, pretty or plain, there is no such thing as a woman who is not conscious of her own appearance, and who does not have some general sense of where she ranks in the hierarchy of attractiveness.

A reasonably good-looking woman, by the time she’s 18 or 19, knows exactly why the guy she meets at a party or in a bar is so eager to talk to her. And here is your cosmic thunderbolt of eternal truth, young man: Women are extremely judgmental.

Trust me when I tell you this, young man. Do not ever imagine that you can evade a woman’s radar in terms of what she wants.

One way to be a loser is to waste your time trying to overcome a woman’s instantaneous default “no.” You could spend years arguing with losers on pickup artist (PUA) forums about tactics, but you are never going to change human nature. Every woman’s default response is “no,” and if you can’t cope with rejection — if you don’t learn to walk away the minute she signals disinterest — you are squandering valuable time and energy.

Some guys (the upper 10% or 15% of overall attractiveness) can score reliably enough in almost any pickup scenario that they don’t really need “tactics” at all. What the rest of you fellows must learn is to stop wasting time trying to convert a “no” to a “yes,” or brooding over your failures.

Guys, if you’re at a frat party, when you approach a girl, understand this: She has sized you up — evaluating you in terms of your desirability — before you even say a word to her. Therefore, if her response to your opening line is not a total green-light reaction, take it in stride and move on. Just remember there are 3.5 billion women on this planet.

Maintain your cool, young man. Don’t flip out, don’t get angry, and don’t let yourself become demoralized by the fact that this girl shot you down. Just keep on blowing down the road, Mister Breeze.

Women are extremely judgmental, as I say, and once you figure that out, every variety of nonsensical feminist whining about “objectification” and “beauty standards” is exposed as rank hypocrisy. But I digress . . .

Amy Schumer is allowed to get away with doing the kind of vulgar sexual humor that might destroy a male comedian’s career nowadays. It was hilarous, back in the day, the first time I saw female stand-up comics “working blue,” as they say. The novelty factor has long since worn off, however, and what we increasingly see is women using sexual “humor” to score political points, rather than actually entertaining anyone who isn’t down for the feminist agenda. Now we must pay attention to this:

Amy Schumer has scolded “The Bachelor” host Chris Harrison for calling a contestant “complicated,” as if it’s a negative characteristic of a woman.
“There is nothing wrong with ‘complicated’ women Chris Harrison,” Schumer tweeted. “You treated it like something she should fight. A women shouldn’t try to be less complicated so as to hopefully attract a man. And she shouldn’t find value in herself just because a dude liked her. Come on bro.”
On Monday night, the show’s “Women Tell All” special aired, where past contestants from the current season come together to discuss what went wrong and get one last opportunity to tell the bachelor (this year, it’s Ben Higgins) what is on their minds. One contestant, Jubilee Sharpe, told Harrison that Higgins didn’t see her “complicated past as a huge obstacle,” to which Harrison called her complicated twice.
“I know you can’t control how complicated you are,” he told Sharpe. “You might be complicated, and I know you stir the pot sometimes, but I hope you realize you’re a pretty special woman, and I really appreciate you coming here and opening up the way you did.”

See? Amy Schumer is playing Thought Police here. While I make a point of avoiding toxic “reality TV” garbage like The Bachelor, and really don’t want to discuss that phony drama, Harrison wasn’t saying anything offensive. And pardon me for disagreeing with Ms. Schumer in her role as Commissar of Feminist Thought Police, but men are entitled to their own opinions about the traits they like or dislike in women.

Lecturing men that there’s “nothing wrong with ‘complicated’ women” may make Amy Schumer feel good about herself, and a thousand of her fans can show their agreement by retweeting her lecture, but that is not going to improve Jubilee Sharpe’s prospects for marital success. For all I know, maybe Jubilee Sharpe will make some lucky guy a wonderful wife, but when a woman speaks of herself as having a “complicated past,” couldn’t this be viewed as a flashing caution light for any guy evaluating her as a potential bride? Marriage is a high-stakes game, and it is best for a man to be careful in assessing his selection.


Why do you suppose 34-year-old Amy Schumer has never been married? Perhaps, like feminists generally, Ms. Schumer is against marriage.

“Marriage means rape and lifelong slavery,” Ti-Grace Atkinson declared, and her comrade Sheila Cronan called marriage “cruel and inhumane.” One could cite many more examples of feminists denouncing marriage as a prison, an institution in which women are oppressed by male supremacy, and so it would be insulting to any woman who calls herself a “feminist” to presume she has ever had any desire to marry a man.

Isn’t it also true, however, that Amy Schumer is “complicated”? This is the case with most feminists, really. They are “complicated,” they have “issues,” and their political agenda is transparently a matter of rationalizing their grievances and justifying their resentments.

This is not to say that Amy Schumer (or any other feminist) does not have actual reasons to be resentful. The problem with feminism, as with any other radical egalitarian ideology, is that rearranging the world to fit a political agenda is a poor substitute for dealing with your own problems as an individual. The Commissar of the Thought Police may think she is “empowering” women by unleashing her wrath against a TV personality who says something she considers offensive. But does this typical example of feminist bullying tactics actually help anyone?

Jubilee Sharpe says she has a “complicated past” — an orphan from Haiti adopted by an American couple — which she doesn’t think will be a “huge obstacle” to finding true love in the future. Who knows whether she is right or wrong? But why scold Chris Harrison for repeating the word she used to describe herself? It’s a TV show! It’s entertainment!

Is it really necessary — is it helpful to anyone — to turn a silly TV show into a Gender Studies seminar? And why is it wrong for Chris Harrison to imply (not that he actually said this) that “complicated” women are viewed negatively by men who are looking for wives? Is it not true that Jubilee Sharpe was involved in a lot of conflicts with her fellow contestants on the show? Isn’t this the sort of “complicated” behavior that guys want to watch out for when they’re assessing women? No matter how good-looking a woman is, do you want to get seriously involved with her if she doesn’t “play well with others”? This is just common sense.

Here’s some more common sense: Why is a tall, handsome, athletic, successful guy still a bachelor at age 26? A guy like that, you’d figure, he would already be married, or at least in a serious relationship. Do you think Ben Higgins might have a “complicated past,” too? “We dated for a year and a half before I broke up with him,” his ex-girlfriend told The Star last year, and here’s a story saying Ben and his ex-girlfriend are still buddies, despite his engagement to Lauren Bushnell, the lucky “winner” of the Bachelor show. What’s the deal there, huh? What do you think the odds are that Ben and Lauren are going to be “happily ever after”?

A cynical attitude toward “reality TV” romance is certainly appropriate. You live long enough, you become cynical about a lot of things, including any woman who calls herself a “feminist.” Let the young man beware: Feminists hate you, and there is no point wasting your precious time on the kind of woman who likes to hang out with Gloria Steinem.

There are two kinds of feminists: Sluts with herpes and crazy lesbians. No, wait — three kinds, because some crazy lesbians have herpes, too.

Happy heterosexual women don’t need feminism. They actually like men. They don’t blame their personal problems on innocent men. Happy heterosexual women don’t sit around crying about their “body image” issues. They take responsibility for their own lives and solve their own problems. They don’t guzzle tequila at frat parties, pass out and wake up the next day with some dude whose clever line was, “Nice tattoo.” Whatever her problems or disadvantages in life may be, the happy heterosexual woman does not need ideology to rationalize her failures. She does not lash out at men as scapegoats for her resentments.

This is why the feminist is always either (a) unhappy or (b) not heterosexual. Young men should recall this advice:

Guys: Learn to take a hint. Learn to walk away.
If a woman tells you she is a feminist, say nothing and walk away.
No feminist wants to hear what a man has to say, and life is too short to waste your time taking to feminists. Just walk away.
Leave feminists alone, and then they can complain about that.

Honestly, guys, you never want to be Inside Amy Schumer.



  • Fail Burton

    What Schumer calls a “struggle” other people call exercise. It is a pragmatic response to living a life-style where one may not get enough exercise, not a psychological revolution of blame and self-pity. I never “struggled” over my exercise but simply did what I had to do. In those instances where I was being lazy and not exercising enough, it was just that, being lazy and undisciplined, not a “struggle.” The bitter reality for these women is that if you don’t brush your teeth and exercise few may feel attracted to you and it is your responsibility to not become a plump, filthy cartoonish caricature of a human being. Forget not being able to hike or play sports when you want to, or even run after a bus. A friend of mine once said people will do anything to lose weight but exercise and eat sensibly. Women like broad shoulders and narrow hips on a man; so go out and make them. Only in moronic feminism could something as innocuous and obvious as exercise become some existential building of the Panama Canal using a Rubic’s Cube.

    One funny aside. I was once at a party where a sexy woman kinda sneeringly ignored me when a friend introduced us. An hour later my friend mentioned the fact I was going to S. America for 6 months in a couple months and then I couldn’t keep her off of me, nor out of my apt. that night, as it turned out. The change in her attitude was a complete turnabout. Yes you are being judged, and not for anything profound. Naturally I soon blew her off. Who knows what cloud might pass over her sun or how I might fall out of disfavor for some other idiocy I can’t detect in advance?

  • dance…dancetotheradio

    Andrew Dice Clay’s act was a double edged joke.
    He was playing a persona that he didn’t expect to be popular in the same way that Archie Bunker wasn’t expected to be popular.
    He was making fun of something and he became the prime symbol of what it was.
    My favourite Dice Clay joke was a response he made to a heckler.
    He said Ah you douche bag you probably get out of the shower to take a piss.

  • BLBeamer

    What do all those comediennes named have in common? Not one of them is funny. Barr was once. She was sharp and funny 20-25 years ago but the rest of them have never – not once – made me so much as crack a smile. I watched the Amy Schumer episode of “Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee”. I kept waiting for the vaunted Amy Schumer hilarity to reveal itself. Didn’t happen. Jerry Seinfeld signaling for a left turn was funnier than Schumer, despite her saying “my vagina” about sixty-eleven times.

    It used to be that in order to be considered a comedian you had to tell these things called “jokes” that made people “laugh” because they were “funny”. Now all you have to do is *proclaim* you are a comedian and insult the intelligence of people who aren’t your audience and your success is assured.

  • robertstacymccain

    Once you understood that Andrew Dice Clay was playing a character — “The Dice Man” — it was impossible to be offended, especially if you ever knew that kind of guy in real life. It’s like Mel Brooks doing Nazi jokes or something.

  • dance…dancetotheradio

    Except if you were Nora Dunn.

  • robertstacymccain

    The thing I tell guys is, “Stick and move.” If you’re in a bar/party type scene, circulate around and talk to as many women as you can. Just a greeting, a bit of small talk, and then move on. What losers do (and I’ve seen it over and over) is become fixated on one target and start crowding in on her, trying to monopolize her time, doing the high-pressure thing, which conveys a sense of desperation.

    Girls don’t to feel cornered and pressured. If a girl really likes you, if it’s green lights all the way — “Cleared for landing on Runway One” — she’s yours the minute you met her. Relax, go have a drink with your buddies, and when you circulate back around in a half-hour, she’ll still be there. She may want you to do a bit of persuading to close the deal, but if you convey the impression that you’re desperate, you could lose the sale.

    Some guys just don’t know how to read signals. You’ve got to do a lot of laps around the track to learn how to drive.

  • Adam

    Calling Amy Schumer a comedian is like calling my ball sack an art display. The late Christopher Hitchens made the case for why women aren’t funny some years ago. It’s still true.

    As for male comedians not being ably to employ an over the top sexist act, all I can say is thank God for Bill Burr.

  • boinkie

    headsup for you guys: This is the twitter account of the Brazilian rich white non hottie who helped terrorize St Pat’s cathedral last weekend.

    another one to add to your list of messed up feminists

  • jolly green

    A vile, useless, brat who ruined Easter Sunday mass for thousands of people because they might go home and eat ham!

  • RS

    Two comments.

    First, I recall being rejected once. I walked away and pursued other quarry. A year or so later, the “rejectoress” realized the error of her ways, came back and drove off my new interests like Samson smiting the Philistines.

    We’ve been married almost 30 years.

    Second, when my daughter was in high school years ago, (Summa Cum Laude, Phi Beta Kappa and successfully employed in Europe) she and I would watch The Bachelor together and do commentary. I recall one show with a Navy officer where she said, “It’s scary to think I am more emotionally mature than anyone on this show.”

    True that.

  • robertstacymccain

    Anyone old enough to have raised children — successful children — sees this miserable whining type of feminism as the self-pitying narcissism it actually is. There are real problems in the world, but self-pity never solved any problem, ever.

  • RS

    I have always told my kids, if you have a problem, ask yourself, “Can it be solved?” If the answer is “yes,” then solve it. If the answer is “no,” then live with it. Under no set of facts is whining about it productive.

  • Evi L. Bloggerlady

    Her movie was funny. She does have talent but she is also damaged goods. What do you expect, she is Chuck Schumer’s niece.

  • RS

    Barr is the perfect example of what happens with genuinely funny people in Hollywood. They become self-aware and begin to think that their job is not to make people laugh, but to be some sort of cultural icon. Barr was cute and funny early on. As her popularity increased, however, she morphed into a mean-spirited leftist harridan, whose humor ceased to be about making fun of herself as a “domestic goddess” but was directed outward at those whom she despised. That’s when she ceased being funny and I stopped paying attention to her.


    “There are two kinds of feminists: Sluts with herpes and crazy lesbians. ”

    It’s hilarious and it’s true. One of your best lines.

  • Daniel Freeman

    Is this alleged comedienne the one that compared her vagina to a petri dish?

  • robertstacymccain

    Obviously, it’s a joke, but there is truth there.

    On the one hand, you have the “pro-sex” feminists whose issue, as far as sexuality is concerned, is to end the common disdain for promiscuous woman, i.e., “slut shaming.”

    On the other hand, particularly notable among radical feminists, you have women who simply dislike men and find heterosexuality “problematic.”

    One almost wishes that the lesbian feminists would convince the “pro-sex” feminists to abandon men entirely, so that we would have no more of this constant whining from heterosexual women about the (inevitable) fact that male-female relationships are not always easy to manage. Let the lesbians and sluts get together and SHUT UP about what beasts men are.

  • Piran


    “No, wait — three kinds, because some crazy lesbians have herpes, too.”

    Tsk…They’re called intersectional feminists, Stacy, I thought you would know that…

  • JeffWeimer

    Having the wisdom to know the difference is key, of course.

  • marcus tullius cicero

    …I pity the fool!

  • Joe Guelph
  • Fail Burton

    If conservative think tanks actually had any brains, they would archive every Twitter feed and blog of the faculty of college gender studies for the last 5 years, even Facebook if they were public. Then start logging the hate speech, insanity, incitement to hate men and racial incitement.

    Next would be to petition congress to hold hearings on these hate factories with a view towards shutting them down, having a two year moratorium and restarting them under a council half liberal, half conservative which must approve all classes, teachers and text books. These people are treating men and whites no different than the Nazis did Jews in colleges in 1933. It’s time to wake up and either embrace due process and equal protection or abandon it in favor of a return to de facto racial and sexual segregation and quotas similar to the old rules the Ivy Leagues schools had decades ago.

  • Sort-Of-Mad Max

    I watched a couple of YouTube clips of Amy ‘Miss Piggy LIVES!’ Schumer when the publicity machine started up for her.

    Meh. Very ‘You vill be INSTRUCTED!’ vibe to her ‘comedy’.

    Nothing to, you know, actually laugh at.

    Not what I’m looking for.

  • DeadMessenger

    Actually, the National Endowment for the Arts might consider your ball sack an art display. They considered a crucifix in urine an art display. Dude, I think you could get a grant. You should go for it.

  • DeadMessenger

    I would literally kill a man if he gave me beer made from the contents of some ho’s vjj. Literally. Kill.

  • NeoWayland

    There’s only one reasonable answer to such nonsense.

  • Fail Burton

    whyte Priveledge ciz skum dood.

  • Adam

    I’m all over it. Hopefully it will serve as an inspiration to others.

  • Jason Lee

    Women want a man who has options.

  • Robert What?

    Atkinson is right: marriage (usually) is lifelong slavery. For the man.

  • DeadMessenger

    I’m sure it will.

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  • Fail Burton

    “And then I thought about having to exercise and had a mental breakdown.

    “The concept of tailored fashion which would camouflage my unsightly bulges changed my life. And so I stopped wearing prom dresses from the ’80s on stage.”

  • Alec Leamas

    I don’t think the vociferously “sex-positive,” talk-about-sex-all-the-time feminist types really have all that much sex. Particularly when they’re unattractive, hefty, or both – to me it smacks of an anxious, veiled boast principally to themselves but also to others that they’re desirable, while at the same time being a public form of “screw you and your rules, Dad!” Lovemaking and desirability for both sexes is ego-validating and if a large part of your persona is going to be man-hating you probably need to balance that with some real or imagined indicia that this is a principled position rather than one that is retributive sour grapes because men don’t want you. The Womyn doth protest too much.

    Of course, getting a man to plunge his pecker into a warm hole with no attachments isn’t a great feat as we all understand. It is extracting commitment, fidelity and resource provisioning that proves the real attractiveness and desirability of a woman – something that eludes feminists to the point that they pretend that they’re making that decision rather than having it made for them by the entire male population.

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  • John Morris

    So we can still boil all this down to Rush’s “Feminism was created to provide opportunity to unattractive women.” line?

  • jjcassidy

    He was playing a character…who told stupid jokes? Interesting.

  • Bill Peschel

    I’d cut Barr a break. Check out her interview with Judd Apatow in his book. She comes across as much saner. Back then, she was a poor woman who ballooned into a comedy star real fast, got thrown into Hollywood, and had to deal with the toxic men out there.

  • Duckster1964

    Why would you kill a chicken to make a cookie??? She be crazy!!!!!1!!11!!!

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