Satan Angered by New Poll Showing Santorum Ahead 34%-18% in Wisconsin

MORGANTOWN, W.Va. Stopped in here at McDonald’s and got online to discover that Satan’s plan to destroy America is now the top story in the country. This is why neutral objective journalist George Stephanopoulos interviewed neutral objective Mitt Romney supporter Chris Christie about the urgently relevant Satan issue today. Stephanopoulos and Christie: What a team, [...]

Best. Police. Report. EVAH!

The story you are about to read is true. It is not an Onion parody. It is definitely NSFW. It may cause nausea and projectile vomiting. You have been warned.

SHOCKING: W. Va. Man Impregnates 11-Year-Old Girl to Whom He’s Not Related

The state that made Robert Byrd the longest-serving senator in U.S. history is back in the news: A St. Albans man accused of sexually assaulting an 11-year-old girl and impregnating her was in court for a preliminary hearing Friday. Investigators say the alleged incident happened back in May at Michael Lacy’s apartment. The 11-year-old victim was [...]

Sen. Robert Byrd Dead at 92; Truly Eternal Filibuster Now Commences

He just became the best kind of Democrat, joining the sainted ranks of those who can no longer demagogue and pander their way to power, who no longer tax honest people into poverty so that their less industrious neighbors can be bribed with “free” government giveaways, and about whom even Republicans feel compelled to say nice things. American children [...]