The Other McCain

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New MLB Trend: Obama Batting

Posted on | May 30, 2010 | 8 Comments

by Smitty

Stunned by his ‘unexpected’ performance as a pitcher, major league baseball batters have taken up the challenge of assuming a more contemplative, thoughtful style while facing men on the mound.

This has resulted in the second perfect game of the season, this one going to Roy Halladay of the Phillies.

Batters are pleased at the increase in nuance at the plate. Jimbo Toraborawycyz of the Washington Nationals: “We’re parsing these pitches with more style than ever.” To fans who crave something with a little more substance, JT said “We credit Barack Obama with curbing the scourge of substance abuse in Major League Baseball. The de-emphasis on tired old ideas like ‘winning’ and ‘losing’ has helped us re-organize our emphasis along cooperative, harmonious lines to ensure positive end-states for all participants, regardless of race, color or creed.”

Category: Farce

Comments

8 Responses to “New MLB Trend: Obama Batting”

  1. CGHill
    May 30th, 2010 @ 3:55 pm

    Yeah, but look at Halladay’s victims: the Marlins.

    Can we say now that Barack Obama doesn’t care about Florida?

  2. CGHill
    May 30th, 2010 @ 10:55 am

    Yeah, but look at Halladay’s victims: the Marlins.

    Can we say now that Barack Obama doesn’t care about Florida?

  3. Joe
    May 30th, 2010 @ 4:37 pm

    About as good as Obama’s pitching.

  4. Joe
    May 30th, 2010 @ 11:37 am

    About as good as Obama’s pitching.

  5. KingShamus
    May 30th, 2010 @ 5:37 pm

    Just remember: No matter how seriously MLB players take Obama’s techniques seriously, the Kansas City Royals are going to suck.

    Sorry, I had to say it.

  6. KingShamus
    May 30th, 2010 @ 12:37 pm

    Just remember: No matter how seriously MLB players take Obama’s techniques seriously, the Kansas City Royals are going to suck.

    Sorry, I had to say it.

  7. wombat-socho
    May 31st, 2010 @ 4:20 pm

    Washington Nationals? More like Baltimore Orioles!

  8. wombat-socho
    May 31st, 2010 @ 11:20 am

    Washington Nationals? More like Baltimore Orioles!