The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

To the Reader Who Bought the 1/8 Carat Gold and Diamond Heart Pendant

Posted on | July 8, 2011 | 16 Comments

Honestly, it never would have occurred to me to buy a $199.99 piece of jewelry via an Amazon link from my favorite blogger, but at least one “magnificent bastard” did, and thereby accomplished two purposes:

  1. Made his wife, fiancé, girlfriend or mistress very happy; and
  2. Contributed $8 toward supporting this blog, for which I’m probably even happier than his wife, fiancé, girlfriend or mistress.

Although I won’t be the one spooning with you tonight — NTTAWWT, but there are limits to my gratitude — I’m about 90% sure that the recipient of this gift must have been your wife. Why?

Because that’s a brilliant way to hide the fact you’re giving money to a blogger. Your wife will see the bill, of course, and if you bought a $199.99 piece of jewelry for anyone but her, you’d be dead meat.

And I don’t think you can hire a divorce lawyer via Amazon.

Are you a conservative married to a liberal? Is that why you’re so sneaky about supporting Or is your wife a fiscal conservative who raised hell the last time you hit the tip jar?

It’s probably best not to ask too many questions. Your wife might read this and get suspicious. Or my wife might read it and get suspicious.

Either way, thanks for shopping our Amazon Associates links, which is my third-favorite way to earn money by blogging.

My second-favorite way is when readers hit the tip jar for $10 or $20 — or best of all, one billion dollars (which really impresses world-famous supermodels and glamorous movie stars). The tip-jar proceeds are usually available within 3 business days, whereas it takes a couple of months before I get a check from Amazon.

What is my most favorite way to earn money blogging?

Five words: Large envelopes stuffed with cash.

But that never happens. Not once, ever. And this is a good time to remind you that polygraph results are not admissable as evidence.

So please shop our Amazon links or hit the tip jar, because a nod is as good as a wink to a blind horse, and I reserve the right to remain silent.


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