The Other McCain

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Advice to Selena: Never Trust a Canadian

Posted on | September 10, 2011 | 15 Comments

Oh, yeah, we know he acts all sweet and innocent and romantic, but it’s time to wake up and smell the juvenile womanizer:

Canadian heartthrob Justin Bieber has announced he’d like to make one lucky gal his wife in the near future.
“By 25 or 26 [years old], I want to see myself, like, married or start looking for a family,” the 17-year-old singer told Women’s Wear Daily in New York City on Thursday, when the fashion publication asked where he sees himself five years from now. . . .
“I want to be a young dad,” he said. “I want to be able to have done what I wanted to do — to be successful, to do a movie or whatever. But if the time is right, I definitely want to be married by 25.”
However, the superstar was quick to admit that although former Disney darling Selena Gomez is currently his “girlfriend right now,” marriage is not in their immediate future.
“One thing — I’m not looking to get married now,” he added.

He’s not taking you seriously, Selena. You’re his “girlfriend right now,” but he’s talking marriage and babies in the distant future, when he’s 25.

Trust me on this one, girl: Bieber’s just stringing you along. He’s a user. He’s exploiting your naïve “true love” infatuation and then, a year or two from now — after he’s taken all he wants to take — he’s gonna discard you like a used Kleenex.

Typical Canadian. They’re all like that.

Comments

15 Responses to “Advice to Selena: Never Trust a Canadian”

  1. JeffS
    September 10th, 2011 @ 11:38 pm

    You mean typical teenager, Stacy.  That’s one of the few genuine transnational facts of life:  Male teenagers have more hormones in their veins than blood.

  2. GAHCindy
    September 10th, 2011 @ 11:40 pm

    If a boy I was dating said something like that, without even a mention of my name beyond “right now”, that boy would be looking for a new girlfriend. 🙂

    Come to think of it, that may have happened once…not telling.

  3. Svt1999
    September 10th, 2011 @ 11:50 pm

    We have 3 dramatic videos reminding us what happened on September 11, 2001 posted now on Common Cents….

    http://www.commoncts.blogspot.com

  4. Anonymous
    September 10th, 2011 @ 11:54 pm

    Meh.  ZZZZZZZ.

  5. Kitty Myers
    September 11th, 2011 @ 12:44 am

    Bieber looks like a girl. A little girlie-boy.

  6. nicholas
    September 11th, 2011 @ 1:03 am

    Now wait a minute,  Justin Bieber is no Levi Johnston.  Clarifying that the lovely Selena Gomez is currently his “girlfriend right now,” just after talking about how he wants to get married and start making mini Biebers might be just the clarification needed.  Perhaps he is not so presumptuous to be speaking for her of her own affections and plans.  Does it not help to know that she has not yet agreed to be his fiance?  That she is not responsible for all the goofy things that just came out of his mouth?    I think so.  

    “She’s my girlfriend right now” does leave it open that she might yet become his  fiance someday, his wife someday, the mother of all those little Biebers someday… to tell you the truth I don’t care to be imagining it all, let alone wake up and suffer all the associated smells.  Let’s just stick to “she’s my girlfriend right now”.

  7. ThePaganTemple
    September 11th, 2011 @ 1:17 am

    Now Stacy if you’re after a Bieber Shot you have to get down and dirty, National Enquirer Style-

    Justin Bieber Suicidal Over Selena Gomez Aborting His Child

  8. Adjoran
    September 11th, 2011 @ 1:22 am

    Well, he’s manlier than David Frum, but not as manly as Celine Dion.

  9. Anonymous
    September 11th, 2011 @ 1:56 am

    Well if any of that story is accurate that would explain why he suspects he won’t be married to her.

  10. ThePaganTemple
    September 11th, 2011 @ 2:11 am

    No I made all that up. That was just my attempt to get another shit storm started on Twitter. It didn’t work, but it did get me a lot of hits.

  11. McGehee
    September 11th, 2011 @ 3:56 am

    Well, Canada did legalize same-sex marriage, so Justin can marry a girl if she wants.

  12. andycanuck
    September 11th, 2011 @ 4:02 am

    You’re just jealous, Stacy. Hosers rule!

  13. Isabella tu
    September 11th, 2011 @ 8:36 am

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  14. Joe
    September 11th, 2011 @ 2:01 pm

    Selena is a string along girl and why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? 

  15. Mike F.
    September 11th, 2011 @ 2:13 pm

    Wait a minute, Bieber? Phew, for a minute there I thought the news was Selena was dating Tom Brady.