The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

Breakfast of the Apocalypse

Posted on | October 2, 2011 | 29 Comments

Unless you’re fortunate enough to live in one of the six states (Pennsylvania, Virginia, Maryland, West Virginia, Ohio and North Carolina) that have Sheetz stores, you don’t know what you’re missing. Sheetz is a chain of 400 convenience stores that offer a made-to-order fast food menu of such awesomeness words can’t quite describe it.

Mrs. Other McCain abandoned us this weekend to attend a Christian women’s retreat in Ohio, so it was just my two youngest sons and me. (She took the baby daughter with her, and the 19-year-old twin sons fend for themselves.) This morning I made a run to Sheetz to pick up three breakfast “Shmuffinz” prepared my special way, with egg, steak, pesto and mozzarella cheese.

After placing the order, I paid at the register, then waited until they called my number. That’s when I looked at my ticket and saw . . .

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Comments

29 Responses to “Breakfast of the Apocalypse”

  1. Brian D Paasch
    October 2nd, 2011 @ 6:09 pm

    No horses with terrifying riders came trotting down the street I hope.

  2. Joe
    October 2nd, 2011 @ 6:13 pm

    “I am the LORD your God who brought you out of the land of Egypt, from the house of slavery. You shall have no other gods in My presence…”  Commandment #1 (aka keep holy the Sabbath). 

    “You shall not boil a young goat in its mother’s milk” (Exodus 23:19, 34:26; Deuteronomy 14:21).

    You are so in trouble…

  3. Anonymous
    October 2nd, 2011 @ 6:41 pm

    “For all have sinned and ordered a Shmuffin with cheese …”

  4. JeffS
    October 2nd, 2011 @ 7:24 pm

    Wow.  Looks like the Sheetz hit fan, huh?

  5. Rick
    October 2nd, 2011 @ 7:27 pm

    Are those the ingredients of a Satan Sandwich?

    Cordially…

  6. Dianna Deeley
    October 2nd, 2011 @ 7:44 pm

    I can’t imagine you could actually taste the pesto through the steak, so maybe the order number was appropriate?

  7. Anonymous
    October 2nd, 2011 @ 8:02 pm

    5:21 !!  You’re up early for a Sunday mornin’.

  8. Terlyn222
    October 2nd, 2011 @ 8:05 pm

    It’s okay.  Just hold it upside down for Herman Cain conversation starter.

  9. Adjoran
    October 2nd, 2011 @ 8:13 pm

    Well, now you’ve turned off the Bachmann supporters.

    BOTH of them.

  10. ThePaganTemple
    October 2nd, 2011 @ 8:19 pm

    Might actually be a good omen. A 6-6-6 is just a 9-9-9 turned upside down.

  11. Richard Mcenroe
    October 2nd, 2011 @ 8:31 pm

    This means you have to stand on your head and vote for Romney.

  12. jwallin
    October 2nd, 2011 @ 8:39 pm

    I satanly hope you retained that receipt.

    IT’S FOR YOUR SOUL!!!!!!

    mUHHHHAHHAHHAHHHH.

    yours lyingly,

    B. L. Zebub

  13. Donsurber
    October 2nd, 2011 @ 8:40 pm

    There’s no truth to the rumor that these stores were named after Robert C. Byrd…

  14. Anonymous
    October 2nd, 2011 @ 8:45 pm

    God hates polyunsaturated fats!

    Ask that nagging old yenta Michael Bloomberg

  15. Adjoran
    October 2nd, 2011 @ 9:16 pm

    Put the receipt on eBay along with a piece of toast with the image of the Antichrist on it.  Pretty much any piece of toast will do.

  16. Bob Belvedere
    October 2nd, 2011 @ 9:27 pm

    That’s why I’m against 9-9-9!

  17. Bob Belvedere
    October 2nd, 2011 @ 9:28 pm

    If you could find a piece of toast that appeared to have jug ears, you’d make a fortune!

  18. Anonymous
    October 2nd, 2011 @ 9:36 pm

    You’d have to try it to know how awesome it is.

    Pesto is the new salsa — pass it on.

  19. Anonymous
    October 2nd, 2011 @ 9:40 pm

    Bloomberg can have my Shmuffin when he pries it from my cold, dead hands.

  20. Anonymous
    October 2nd, 2011 @ 9:40 pm

    Bloomberg can have my Shmuffin when he pries it from my cold, dead hands.

  21. Mme Scherzo
    October 2nd, 2011 @ 10:24 pm

    Good grief, man. We have not only Sheetz…at least three of them, now in Lancaster City alone, but also a half dozen WaWas, which are like Sheetzes, but with a funny name. And yes, it is bliss going there at dark thirty a.m. to order a sammie and a MILKSHAKE…which you make yourself. Sigh of contentment.

  22. Pundit
    October 2nd, 2011 @ 10:48 pm

    “dark thirty a.m.” Amish rush hour.

  23. Anonymous
    October 2nd, 2011 @ 10:58 pm

    Wawa’s okay, but they don’t have Sheetz’ loyalty program.  Sadly, neither one has a store convenient to this part of Northern Virginia.

  24. Mme Scherzo
    October 2nd, 2011 @ 11:19 pm

    That’s partially sad, Wombat.  at leetz you have Sheetz. We can use our Weis grocery cards at Sheetz for gas points, too, and our grocery purchases add up to at most 30 percent off gas at Sheetz. But Wawa has revamped its deli, and it has some very good offerings. I’m impressed with them, and they are close to where I live.

  25. Anonymous
    October 3rd, 2011 @ 12:22 am

    Thanks, McCain, you’ve doomed us all!
    (Still, from the ingredient list, that looks like a sinfully good sandwich.)

  26. McGehee
    October 3rd, 2011 @ 12:23 am

    We have not only Sheetz…at least three of them

    Are they to the wind?

  27. Anonymous
    October 3rd, 2011 @ 1:34 am

    Well, I have Sheetz if I want to drive out by Dulles or north to Frederick. I think there’s one by Quantico, for that matter…but we’re talking a 45-60 minute drive at the best of times. 🙁

  28. Anonymous
    October 3rd, 2011 @ 5:17 am

    I think there is one on 28 in Manassas.

  29. Quartermaster
    October 3rd, 2011 @ 10:49 am

    You are doomed, McCain. Hope you’ve enjoyed life.