Death by Penis Enhancement

Posted on | December 10, 2011 | 16 Comments

Authorities have filed homicide charges against a woman after she allegedly administered a silicone injection into the penis of a 22-year-old man, who suffered a fatal blood clot.
The victim, who died in May, had been seeking a penis enhancement, authorities said today.
Kasia Rivera, 34, of East Orange, was arrested today on manslaughter charges and unauthorized practice of medicine in the death of Justin Street, the Essex County Prosecutor’s Office said.

Probably not what he expected on his tombstone:

“Justin Street, 1989-2011: He Thought His Penis Was Too Small.”

On the other hand, at least Justin wasn’t expecting the government to provide him with . . . uh, stimulus:

According to data collected by the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS), Medicare has spent more than $240 million of taxpayer money on penis pumps for elderly men over the past decade, and will surpass a quarter of a billion dollars this year for costs since 2001.
The cost to taxpayers for the pumps more than quadrupled during that period, from a low of $11 million in 2001 to a high of more than $47 million in 2010. And these represent only the costs for external devices, technically classified as “Male Vacuum Erection Systems,” not implantable devices or oral drugs such as Viagra.

Hasn’t this whole “pursuit of happiness” gotten completely out of hand? Is it really the responsibility of U.S. taxpayers to provide penis pumps and Viagra for geezers who can’t get it up? And apparently this kind of sexual welfare is not even limited to American geezers:

A Minnesota town is outraged over reports that an illegal immigrant was implanted with a penis pump – paid for by taxpayers… Scott County Attorney Pat Ciliberto wants to know how an illegal immigrant was able to obtain tens of thousands of dollars in medical assistance.

This insanity must be stopped. America needs someone who will stand up and speak out — a man of courage and conviction, a genuine leader with firm principles and clear vision to put an end to these abuses.

RICK SANTORUM for PRESIDENT
Because America Is Finally Ready to Say, “Enough Is Enough”

Category: Crime

Comments

16 Responses to “Death by Penis Enhancement”

Anonymous
December 10th, 2011 @ 11:14 am

By God, they can have my penis pump when they pry it from my cold, dead……..uh……..nevermind.
Dave C
December 10th, 2011 @ 11:15 am

Well here is the thing. I– umm, ah, I have a. . . Friend who isn’t satisfied with what nature gave him.

And he’s just exploring options right now. Nothing on any dotted line yet.
Mike Rogers
December 10th, 2011 @ 11:42 am

Someone to STAND UP against such abuses? Hah! Writing to die for 🙂

In the UK, there is an apocryphal tale of the bank who wrote to a customer with a a chronic and large overdraft: “Dear Mr Smith, we would prefer to return to the arrangement whereby you bank with us!”

I think it is time for fine, ahem, upstanding, citizens to tell our government that we’d prefer to return to the arrangement whereby WE pursue our own happiness, instead of them pursuing it for us!
Joe
December 10th, 2011 @ 11:48 am

I am waiting till they say penis enhancement has to be safe, legal and government sponsored to keep small men away from back alley butchers.
Joe
December 10th, 2011 @ 11:48 am

Charles Johnson is dead?
Joe
December 10th, 2011 @ 11:56 am

Oh wait, we are already there! And for illegal immigrants too! Nice!
Joe
December 10th, 2011 @ 12:09 pm

Did you know that the term burrito means “little donkey” in Spanish? I wonder why they would name them that?
Joe
December 10th, 2011 @ 12:35 pm

Small Penis Men’s Group But you have to be really really small.
Peter
December 10th, 2011 @ 12:57 pm

I see you’ve switched allegiances… you’re off the Cain train, huh? So, I guess now you’re on the Rick-shaw.
Joe
December 10th, 2011 @ 1:52 pm

Rick shaw!
jwallin
December 10th, 2011 @ 2:20 pm

Mystery (or Porno. you pick) titles for this occurrence:

Death By Erection.
A Hard Row To Ho.
Easy Come, Easy Go.
The Penis Mightier Than the Sword.
Your Time is Gonna Come.
The Hand of Death.
JeffS
December 10th, 2011 @ 2:43 pm

What’s the problem here? Mr. Street wanted have a big stiffie, and now he IS a big stiff.
Joe
December 10th, 2011 @ 3:08 pm

There are some of us who could be penile donors…but why destroy a work of art.
New Jersey Man Dies From Silicon Penis Enhancing Injection … Woman Charged with Manslaughter | Scared Monkeys
December 10th, 2011 @ 3:44 pm

[…] this stuff really worth dying for? As the Other McCain opined, Probably not what he expected on his tombstone: “Justin Street, 1989-2011: He Thought His […]
Adjoran
December 10th, 2011 @ 3:55 pm

Dad always told me, “If you ever meet a woman on the mean streets of East Orange, New Jersey, never – NEVER – trust her with your penis. Promise me this, my son.”

Or something like that.

From the article, at least the other woman, arrested for illegal buttocks enhancement, was set free because they weren’t sure what law she had broken.
Anonymous
December 10th, 2011 @ 4:14 pm

Dad always told me, “If you ever meet a woman on the mean streets of East Orange, New Jersey, never – NEVER – trust her with your penis. Promise me this, my son.”

Wisdom for the ages.