The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

We Forgive You, Foster Friess

Posted on | February 17, 2012 | 31 Comments

Ali Akbar, Foster Friess and Robert Stacy McCain at CPAC 2012

The joke about aspirin as a contraceptive — just hold it between your knees, ladies — was probably first told by Phyllis Diller on “The Tonight Show” back when Jack Paar was still hosting. Those of us old enough to remember it were surprised when it became “controversial” this week.

How does a decades-old gag become “controversial”? When it is re-told by a GOP billionaire who supports Rick Santorum for president.

Welcome to the Age of Political Correctness: Foster Friess has felt the need to apologize for telling that old joke.

Should conservatives denounce, disavow and “distance” ourselves from Mr. Friess? Not at all. We are quite proud to be associated with such a courageous and patriotic Christian gentleman. In fact, we have created a Special Patriotic Tribute to Foster Friess, and hope that everyone will click the link to see it. IYKWIMAITYD.


31 Responses to “We Forgive You, Foster Friess”

  1. K-Bob
    February 17th, 2012 @ 6:32 pm

    I’m amazed that Greta called it “creepy.”

    Nostalgia is only creepy when guys like Stephen King add a li’l somethin’ to it.

    Thanks for writing about this.  Somebody had to do it.

  2. Bookbread
    February 17th, 2012 @ 6:39 pm

    Oh but who will resurrect Clayton Williams and put Ann Richards to rest?

  3. Paula
    February 17th, 2012 @ 7:00 pm

    Oh good grief…it’s an old saying.  (and as Rush said today, it was about Virtue”.)  With all of the tragic and deplorable things going on in the World;  I can’t believe  THIS is what the MSM is getting their panties in a wad about these days.

    There’s no there, there.

  4. Foster Friess, Obama, And The Tale Of Two Pills - The POH Diaries
    February 17th, 2012 @ 7:01 pm

    […] Stacy McCain weighs in on the aspirin joke “controversy.” Tweet Tagged with: Andrea […]

  5. PortraitsPlus
    February 17th, 2012 @ 7:11 pm

    I agree with K-Bob, I was suprised and did not get Greta’s whole take on it. Goes to show you that there is no sense of humor left with the feminists. I loved Phillis Diller and  Jack Paar.  

  6. rightklik
    February 17th, 2012 @ 7:25 pm

     just hold it between your knees, ladies — was probably first told by Phyllis Diller on “The Tonight Show” 
    A blogger who can find the video deserves a hit to the tip jar.

  7. Mike Rogers
    February 17th, 2012 @ 7:32 pm

    Go Foster!
    BTW, Mr ambassador to Vanuatu, did you get your Santorum vest from the campaign yet?

  8. AnonymousDrivel
    February 17th, 2012 @ 7:39 pm

    Freiss’ only mistake was not making it more contemporary. He should’ve suggested Ecstasy instead of aspirin.

  9. FenelonSpoke
    February 17th, 2012 @ 7:47 pm

    Sounds like a decent guy, and I’d happily accept a million dollars for my “Campaign for decent living” anytime he’d like to give it to me. ;^)

  10. Adjoran
    February 17th, 2012 @ 8:22 pm

    I first read the joke in a Playboy magazine I secretly borrowed from an older cousin back in the mid-1960’s (they had a joke page in case you got tired of reading interviews), and within a few years saw it as a gag gift in a shop – on one of those racks with hooks, in a plastic cover with a cardboard top labelled “Safe Birth Control” and with an aspirin and instructions:  “Hold tightly between knees.”

    To me Santorum really scored when he lashed at the interviewer (CNN? I saw a clip on Fox, didn’t catch who was asking) for covering up Obama’s twenty-year association with “Rev” Wright, which was much more relevant.  Good job!  That’s how all our guys should handle this sort of nit-picking.

  11. robertstacymccain
    February 17th, 2012 @ 8:58 pm

    Q. How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
    A. That’s not funny!

  12. smitty
    February 17th, 2012 @ 9:04 pm

    Q. How many Russians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
    A. Two, but don’t ask me how they got there.

  13. EBL
    February 17th, 2012 @ 9:24 pm

    I noted this myself the other day.  But I liked Foster’s joke about the conservative, the moderate, and the liberal who went into a bar…

    Oh BTW, I went to Joy’s place and said you supported Santorum because he is committed on repealing the 20th Amendment.  

  14. EBL
    February 17th, 2012 @ 9:25 pm

    I linked you too.  I try to link you every day.  

  15. Wombat_socho
    February 17th, 2012 @ 9:38 pm

     Yeah, but then everybody would have said he was full of it, out of touch – oh, wait…

  16. K-Bob
    February 17th, 2012 @ 9:44 pm

     How many bass players?

    1, 5, 1, 5, 1…

  17. Adjoran
    February 17th, 2012 @ 9:51 pm

     Love it!  Adding it to my long list of “walk into a bar” (WIAB) jokes, like:

    A hamburger, a hot dog, and a French Fry WIAB.  The bartender says, “Sorry, but we don’t serve food.”

    A priest, a rabbi, and an atheist WIAB.  The bartender says, “Is this some kind of joke?”

  18. Adjoran
    February 17th, 2012 @ 9:51 pm

     I thought she was already relaxing and enjoying it.

  19. Adjoran
    February 17th, 2012 @ 9:55 pm

    Q. How many Virginians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A.  Ten.  One to install the bulb, and nine to talk about how much better the old bulb was.

    Q. How many Northern Virginians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    A.  Ten.   All of them stand around drinking white wine and nibbling brie cheese and complaining about how the legislature in Richmond just doesn’t understand the unique challenges of replacing light bulbs in Northern Virginia.  The electrician from DC who actually replaces the bulb doesn’t count.

  20. ThePaganTemple
    February 17th, 2012 @ 11:28 pm

    I just don’t get why these guys always let the mainstream media put them on the defensive about this shit. Since this joke apparently originated decades ago, on the Tonight Show, perhaps an appropriate way to deal with the criticism would have been to simply explain the joke a la Carson.

    “Well, see, what this means now is if you ladies just keep your damn legs closed that’s the best kind of birth control”.

    Carson saved a lot of flat jokes that way, and if Friese had only followed his example, it too would have been even funnier.

  21. Bob Belvedere
    February 18th, 2012 @ 12:45 am

    It would seem to me that the reason the Left has it’s panties in a wad is specifically because they don;t have any aspirin.

  22. Bob Belvedere
    February 18th, 2012 @ 12:47 am

    Charlie Rose.

  23. Adjoran
    February 18th, 2012 @ 1:13 am

     Are you sure?  Rick was in a lighted hall and the questioner wasn’t in the shot.  Charlie takes them into a darkened room and gets them high on chamomile tea before he tortures them with his cloying monotone.

  24. Kacey M Brown
    February 18th, 2012 @ 1:24 am

    Phyllis Diller started it? Oh I bet it was funny then. Forgive me if I am a little crude here, but the Progressive liberal left would be fine if the joke was something bought at an XXX adult store… Ya know what I am saying? “Just imagine a _____ between your knees” They’d be rolling on the floor and handing out Emmy’s… The feigned outrage is BS.

  25. Bob Belvedere
    February 18th, 2012 @ 2:41 am

    Rose interviewed him for that morning show he’s now hosting.

  26. Adjoran
    February 18th, 2012 @ 3:06 am

     Well, that explains why Charlie wasn’t in the shot.  His sort can’t abide the daylight.

  27. Zilla of the Resistance
    February 18th, 2012 @ 10:38 am

    I first heard this joke many years ago and it was told to me by an adorable elderly gentleman. I thought the joke was cute.  Poor Mr. Friess has nothing to apologize for, he’s a cutie pie.

    I just wish Rick had used more examples of how the Obamamedia covered for the leper messiah than just Rev. Wrong, such as Bill Ayers and Zero’s jihadist pals.

  28. Fausta's Blog » Blog Archive » CBO: Real unemployment at 15%
    February 18th, 2012 @ 11:11 am

    […] Meanwhile, a post-menopausal Andrea Mitchell is scandalized over a very old joke. […]

  29. Pete in GA
    February 18th, 2012 @ 5:49 pm

    Loved Andrea Mitchhell’s reaction! 

  30. Quartermaster
    February 18th, 2012 @ 7:54 pm

    The joke was still floating around in the early 70s when my wife and I married. It was funny then and now.

    Conservatives need to quit apologizing for stuff like this. If they rave, then let them. Then throw it back in their childish faces. The left needs a bit of insensitivity training.

  31. ThePaganTemple
    February 18th, 2012 @ 9:20 pm

     The right needs it more, the left has them scared to death of offending somebody. I can’t stand to see somebody that’s supposed to be conservative wringing their hands and simultaneously walking on egg shells. If I talk on my blog about a person calling somebody a racial slur, I’m going to quote the person and say what the racial slur was. I’m not going to say somebody called so-and-so “the N word”. Otherwise I’m not going to talk about it at all.