The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

Why Do So Many #FreeKate Fanatics Remind Me of a Jethro Tull Song?

Posted on | July 2, 2013 | 63 Comments

You probably thought the title reference was to “Aqualung” (“watching as the frilly panties run“) but it was actually the opening line of “Locomotive Breath” that I had in mind: “In the shuffling madness …”

One cannot help notice the vibrations of desperate hysteria emanating from some of those whose intense emotional investment in the case of accused sex offender Kaitlyn Hunt was never entirely rational and which has become increasingly frantic in the weeks since the steady accumulation of facts began undermining mainstream support for the “Free Kate” cause. Even if these people are not all degenerate perverts enthused by a twisted hope of obliterating age-of-consent laws, the erratic vehemence of their rhetoric suggests the “shuffling madness” of the “all-time loser” hurtling “headlong to his death.”

Among the more deranged devotees of Saint Kate of the Blessed Finger is “Rachel Carson” (@rachiez3) the quotation marks around the name necessitated by the fact that it is often impossible to know whether Twitter trolls like this are actually sockpuppets.

Excuse me for losing count of exactly how many eruptions from this troll I ignored before responding, but my response seems to have inspired a lucid moment for the voices inside Rachel’s head:

Let’s ignore the ridiculous assertion that it is “cyberstalking” to report on a high-profile campaign that has sought to make an accused sex offender a cause célèbre of the gay-rights movement. Instead, let’s talk about Rachel’s claim that current Florida law, which makes it a felony for anyone 18 or older to have sex with anyone 15 or younger, is wrong, and that it would be a beneficial reform to change the law as she says.

Once a person reached their 14th birthday, they would be sexual “fair game” for anyone who was no more than 48 months older. The specificity of Rachel’s proposal, of course, most likely reflects a knowledge that Kaitlyn Hunt (born in August 1994) was 44 months older than her 14-year-old partner (born in April 1998). And so the proposal is to reform the law in just such a way as to legalize the acts for which Kaitlyn is being prosecuted. Convenient, eh?

What this would in effect mean, however, is that parents would have no legal authority for exercising restraint on their child’s sexual behavior once the child turned 14 — that is, as long as the teen’s partners weren’t more than 48 months older. Is that OK?

There are some states where the statutory age is 14 and probably most teenagers in those states don’t run rampant with orgies of promiscuity to celebrate their 14th birthdays. Perhaps there is some research that could give guidance on what (if any) influence on teenage sexual behavior is accomplished by differences in age-of-consent schemes. But that would be utterly irrelevant to the case at hand, wouldn’t it?

Whether Florida’s laws conform to some particular ideal is not at issue in the Kaitlyn Hunt case. Florida’s law regarding the age of consent has not been changed very recently. This is not a new and untested law, but one already well established, under which other offenders have been successfully prosecuted for acts no worse than those of which Kaitlyn Hunt is accused. In fact, prosecutors were willing to disregard what would appear to be Kate’s admission that she had violated this law, and instead have her plead guilty to a less offense in a deal that would have permitted her to avoid serving any time in prison.

The entire public controversy that the Hunt family and their supporters deliberately created — the fundamental cause of the “Free Kate” crusade — was her unwillingness to accept the offered plea bargain, and the insistence that prosecutors should treat her (admitted) felony as only a misdemeanor. This raises the question: “Why didn’t the prosecutors offer a misdemeanor plea?”

Aggravating Circumstances,” as I pointed out May 25, and I’m not going to repeat that argument here. You can debate the merits  of the law or the wisdom of the prosecutors until the cows come home, for all I care. If officials in Indian River County say that sex in a school toilet stall or a night of playing Spin the Dildo with a 14-year-old runaway should be treated as a felony, I’m willing to defer to their judgment — and I expect most responsible adults would, too.

(If any publisher wants me to write a book called 101 Freaky Fun Ideas You Shouldn’t Try in Indian River County, drop me an e-mail.)

Whether or not Florida’s laws are ideal is irrelevant to the question of whether they should be enforced. Personally, I don’t think it should be considered a “crime” to drive 110 mph on I-4 with an open can of beer between your knees, but the cops in Florida are such hateful bigots about these things that I usually try to avoid it. Also, when visiting Florida beaches, I always insist that females in bikinis provide a photo identification proving they are at least 18 years old before I’ll even look at their impressively pendulous breasts. But I digress . . .

My point is that these “Free Kate” people are crazy.

Never in my memory has anyone tried to make a civil-rights hero out of someone who admits diddling a 14-year-old, a precedent that might inspire rather amusing new arguments by any teenage boy who should in the future find that his ninth-grade girlfriend is reluctant to let him get past second base. (“Stop oppressing me, Heather! This is like Selma, and your panties are the Edmund Pettus Bridge!“)

The absurdity of the Jailbait Rights Movement — which is really what this whole “Free Kate” thing boils down to — could be laughed off as a joke were it not taken so seriously by Kaitlyn Hunt’s supporters that they are willing to denounce as homophobic bigots anyone who dares to criticize their arguments. Their grim humorlessness suggests a fanatical determination to overturn any law that stands between them and complete sexual anarchy, and their depraved cause has attracted a flock of gibbering lunatics to their disgraceful banner.

There’s such a backlog of screen-caps showing the craziness emanating from the inner circles of the “Free Kate” crusade, I’ll probably never catch up. Until this case is resolved one way or another, I expect this non-stop carnival of madness to continue. Now cue the theme song . . .





63 Responses to “Why Do So Many #FreeKate Fanatics Remind Me of a Jethro Tull Song?”

  1. Adjoran
    July 3rd, 2013 @ 1:04 am

    And the youngest of the family
    is moving with authority
    Building castles by the sea,
    He dares the tardy tide
    to wash them all aside.

    Saw that show 3 times the first time around.

  2. Adjoran
    July 3rd, 2013 @ 1:10 am

    And which class of people are the most likely to offend with underage victims?

    Hey, YOU brought up the Tull lyrics:

    Well, the dawn was coming
    Heard him ringing on my bell
    He said, “My name’s the teacher
    That is what I call myself”

    “And I have a lesson
    That I must impart to you
    It’s an old expression
    But I must insist it’s true

    “Jump up, look around, find yourself some fun
    No sense in sitting there, hating everyone
    No man’s an island and his castle isn’t home
    The nest is full of nothing when the bird has flown”

    So I took a journey
    Threw my world into the sea
    With me went the teacher
    Who found fun instead of me

    Hey man, what’s the plan, what was that you said?
    Sun-tanned, drink in hand, lying there in bed
    I try to socialize but I can’t seem to find
    What I was looking for, got something on my mind

    Then the teacher told me
    It had been a lot of fun
    Thanked me for his ticket
    And all that I had done

    Hey man, what’s the plan, what was that you said?
    Sun-tanned, drink in hand, lying there in bed
    I try to socialize but I can’t seem to find
    What I was looking for, got something on my mind

  3. MrSaturn
    July 3rd, 2013 @ 2:09 am

    Shouldn’t these people be ecstatic? A homosexual girl is being treated exactly the same as straight boy in these circumstances.

  4. alanhenderson
    July 3rd, 2013 @ 2:42 am

    Funny, for some reason I thought of “Skating Away On The Thin Ice Of A New Day.”

  5. jakee308
    July 3rd, 2013 @ 7:52 am

    Here’s hoping that these digital rapist cheerleaders (pun intended) emulate the lyrics of another similar song;

    (Hellbound Train by Savoy Brown.)

  6. Bob Belvedere
    July 3rd, 2013 @ 9:02 am

    You HATE because you LOVE.

  7. Bob Belvedere
    July 3rd, 2013 @ 9:03 am


  8. Bob Belvedere
    July 3rd, 2013 @ 9:28 am

    And the train, it won’t stop going
    No way to slow down

    No way to slow down
    No way to slow down
    No way to slow down
    No way to slow down
    No way to slow down

  9. Matthew W
    July 3rd, 2013 @ 12:27 pm

    My thoughts too !!!

  10. robcrawford2
    July 3rd, 2013 @ 3:56 pm

    I know I’m getting old because I can hear the music that goes with those lyrics, but can’t remember the name of the song. Probably something obvious like “Teacher”.

  11. robcrawford2
    July 3rd, 2013 @ 3:57 pm

    My words but a whisper,
    Your deafness a SHOUT!

  12. BredRightAndTrue
    July 4th, 2013 @ 12:02 pm

    One would think…well…that is until one realizes all over again that their whole “Equality” and “Fairness” agenda is nothing but a ruse.

    “All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.”

    Tis the New World Order. H8ful h8ers need not apply.

  13. MrSaturn
    July 4th, 2013 @ 7:11 pm

    Oh yes, I forget that the “fairness” agenda is more about getting more rights for the “oppressed” than the so called oppressors. Well I didn’t but being facetious is always fun.