The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

Dammit, @CalebHowe, Get Better! UPDATE: Let’s Make It $30,000 Tonight

Posted on | August 2, 2013 | 52 Comments

You’re pissing me off here, Caleb. There’s no sick leave in the blogosphere, and this “going to the hospital” stuff is not allowed. Besides, quite honestly, I can’t handle the stress. Being a middle-aged blogger — “middle-aged,” if the life expectancy of a two-pack-a-day smoker is 106 — has become increasingly stressful.

First Andrew Breitbart died at 43, then Chip Gerdes died at 42, and the sense of living on borrowed time is really starting to get on my nerves. Besides all the stress problems you’re causing, Caleb, those of us who survive by rattling the tip jar are praying for you to have a miraculous sudden recovery, because:

  1. Otherwise, we’ll be stuck with your brother Ben, and we’ve never liked him as much as we like you;
    and
  2. Until you get better, we’ll feel vaguely guilty about asking readers to have pity on our pathetic needs.

There are too many pompous liberal douchebags who still need you to mock them, Caleb. And there are too many RINO sellouts who need to be exposed and driven into the oblivion of disgraced exile.

All this lollygagging around in the hospital, with the nurses giving you sponge baths? Not allowed. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

So I just contributed $20 to “Caleb’s Girls Fund,” and I’m telling all my readers to give as much as they can — $10, $20, $100, whatever — because this liver disease you’ve got is really bad for you, but I’m just getting too damned old to be dealing with all this stress.

GIVE NOW to CALEB’S GIRLS FUND!

UPDATE: As of 4 p.m., the fund was at $27,624 from 563 donors, an average donation of $49.97. The original goal was $25,000, which was raised in three days, but there’s no reason in the world it shouldn’t be $30,000 or $40,000 by Monday. This pisses me off because, really, it should never come to this.

Somebody on Twitter said “charity,” well, charity, my ass!

In the 2012 election cycle, the top 5 GOP conservative super-PACS raised $336.9 million, a lot of which went straight into the pockets of consultants, or was spent on lame-ass TV commercials that did little or nothing in terms of moving the needle of public opinion.

If you took just 10% of that super-PAC total ($33.4 million), you could pay 500 bloggers more than $67,000 a year.

Ask yourself if 500 Caleb Howes wouldn’t be more valuable than a bunch of consultants collecting fat commissions. I repeat: Charity, my ass.

Larry O’Connor himself gave $500, but the key to a crowdsourced fund drive is lots of small donations — lots of people giving $10, $20, $50 — because everybody can afford that. Hell, if I could give $20, a damned streetcorner hobo could panhandle up $5, y’know?

GIVE NOW to CALEB’S GIRLS FUND!

 

Category: Blogging

Comments

52 Responses to “Dammit, @CalebHowe, Get Better! UPDATE: Let’s Make It $30,000 Tonight”

  1. Good Stuff
    August 3rd, 2013 @ 12:40 am

    I am living proof that expiration dates don’t mean much – http://youtu.be/86A9DW1bQOk

  2. robertstacymccain
    August 3rd, 2013 @ 9:15 am

    Certainly, I have always believed in the power of intercessory prayer, although I do not think it is our power, but rather God’s power, which such prayer invokes.