The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

Deranged Cyberstalker Bill Schmalfeldt Humiliates Himself in Maryland Court

Posted on | October 16, 2013 | 74 Comments

Bill Schmalfeldt: ‘Brain-Damaged Troll’ (Image via

From today’s Viral Read report on the latest Brett Kimberlin news:

Kimberlin personally handed a copy of the 48-page complaint to blogger John Hoge this morning at a Maryland court hearing where Kimberlin’s associate Bill Schmalfeldt failed in his appeal of a court order forbidding Schmalfeldt to continue his online harassment of Hoge. Kimberlin filed his federal suit in U.S. District Court in Greenbelt, Maryland.

For the past couple of weeks, Bill Schmalfeldt — who has described himself as a “Brain Damaged Troll” — has been boasting on Twitter that he was going to devastate Hoge in today’s hearing. For some strange reason, reality refused to conform to Schmalfeldt’s delusions:

Bill Schmalfeldt called me as his witness. I was on the stand for about 25 minutes and answered fewer than 10 questions. Most of the time was spent either by my lawyer objecting (and the judge sustaining her objection) on matters of relevance or Judge Stansfield correcting Schmalfeldt’s misunderstandings of legal concepts. . . .
The judge also explained to Schmalfeldt that there is no exception to Maryland’s harassment statute for “journalism.”
None of Schmalfeldt’s exhibits were received into evidence.
When Schmalfeldt rested his case, the judge dismissed the petition on his own motion. My lawyer did not have to present my side of the case. . . .

Read the whole thing at and be sure to hit his tip jar to repay John for providing us such delightful entertainment.



74 Responses to “Deranged Cyberstalker Bill Schmalfeldt Humiliates Himself in Maryland Court”

  1. screwtape1a12
    October 16th, 2013 @ 7:06 pm

    RT @rsmccain: OMG, the commenters are having a FIELD DAY with Schmalfeldt! High Larious Ness. @wjjhoge @Popehat

  2. Jerry Fletcher
    October 16th, 2013 @ 7:31 pm

    I guess he “got it all ” 🙂

  3. Pat Murray
    October 16th, 2013 @ 7:54 pm

    Better than a slice of deep fried gold, right there.

  4. Professor_Why
    October 16th, 2013 @ 8:10 pm

    Deranged Cyberstalker Bill Schmalfeldt Humiliates Himself in Maryland Court

  5. Jerry Fletcher
    October 16th, 2013 @ 9:26 pm

    Well it’s not like everything he said was wrong

  6. Wonderful Wednesday: Raindrops on Roses | Blackmailers Don't Shoot
    October 16th, 2013 @ 9:39 pm

    […] An uncomfortable truth about gamers is that we’re really a bunch of dicks. If we’re given the opportunity to park a bus in front of an oncoming train, we’ll do it. Here’s the thing, though: if you’re going to unleash your unbridled id on an unsuspecting public from your computer, video games are a far better alternative to harassment and cyberstalking. […]

  7. Quartermaster
    October 16th, 2013 @ 9:58 pm

    Please no! Just the thought of doing such should be a capital crime.

  8. SPQR9
    October 17th, 2013 @ 12:23 am

    Well, I have to credit BS for the most correct summary.

  9. SPQR9
    October 17th, 2013 @ 12:24 am

    His next career will be playing Jabba the Hut at children’s parties.

  10. SPQR9
    October 17th, 2013 @ 12:25 am

    Go with “both”.

  11. Hanzo
    October 17th, 2013 @ 12:45 am

    Doesn’t anyone feel the slightest bit sorry for this mental incompetent Jabba the Hut look alike …. *sound of crickets* …. I didn’t think so.

  12. Wombat_socho
    October 17th, 2013 @ 3:44 am

    Nothing quite like being on the good old Group W bench.

  13. Kyle Kiernan
    October 17th, 2013 @ 7:25 am

    Both. plus maybe rabies. With a touch of zombieism thrown in for that exotic voodoo flavor.

  14. joshpainter
    October 17th, 2013 @ 8:17 am

    That’s the first photo I’ve seen of him. The dude has no neck.

  15. rmnixondeceased
    October 17th, 2013 @ 9:01 am

    Always pick (C) …

  16. Art Deco
    October 17th, 2013 @ 9:09 am


    The moderator has published other photographs, and they all have one feature: the mouth is always open, as if it were in perpetual motion.

  17. Art Deco
    October 17th, 2013 @ 9:11 am

    Yes. It seems as if a fun house mirror version of political action is a substitute for what you should have in late middle age if you have played your cards right (a trade of which you are a senior and respected practitioner, a wife, grown children, grandchildren, and solvency).

  18. jeffunde
    October 17th, 2013 @ 10:44 am

    …and no neck.

  19. Jerry Beckett
    October 17th, 2013 @ 11:04 am

    What is Schmalfeldt’s version of the events in court? I’m assuming it’s something other than “I was exposed as the delusional little fool that I am.”.

  20. rsmccain
    October 17th, 2013 @ 12:37 pm

    Schmalfeldt “really, truly pathetic”? “More than usual?” @wjjhoge @antvq16 @guntotingteabag

  21. ConserAnimal
    October 17th, 2013 @ 3:06 pm

    RT @rsmccain: Schmalfeldt “really, truly pathetic”? “More than usual?” @wjjhoge @antvq16 @gu…

  22. Oeberon
    October 17th, 2013 @ 5:44 pm

    Dear God in Heaven, what is that thing!? What happened to its neck? It rather appears as if he is turning himself into the turtle on his shirt. It’s “inconceivable” to think he found a woman willing to marry him.

  23. Separated at Birth: Pathological Liars | Batshit Crazy News
    October 17th, 2013 @ 6:51 pm

    […] TOM: Schmalfeldt humiliates himself in Court… […]

  24. Good Stuff
    October 17th, 2013 @ 9:11 pm

    For many years it’s been my custom to listen to Alice’s Restaurant on Thanksgiving. Lets take a trip to Alice’s Restaurant. Where we can part take in a neat and groovy blast from the past.