The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

Fernando To Her Majesty: “Dahling, You Look Mahvelous”

Posted on | March 18, 2015 | 21 Comments

by Smitty

Apparently, somebody missed the local Thronesniffers Anonymous meeting:

Hillary Clinton will be the Democratic Party’s nominee, and she will win the 2016 election.
When you analyze the objective conditions of the Republican Party today and most likely over the next two years and compare them to Clinton’s strengths, it’s hard not to make such a prediction with confidence.
The email flap will be gone soon enough. Short of the State Department finding some grenade of an email, the release of some 55,000 Clinton emails from the government archives is more likely to reinforce Clinton’s formidable leadership and executive abilities than subtract from her decades-old image of an American Iron Lady.

I’ve got a competing narrative. People “in the know” have all of the dirt they want on Her Majesty, and will cheerfully let her soak up all the Commie chlorine (pretty sure they are not on oxygen over there) and block other competition, while soiling Her Royal Personage just enough to keep her from actually getting her cankles across the finish line ahead of the GOP.

OK, I don’t think the GOP is actually that deft, but it makes for a fine wish.


21 Responses to “Fernando To Her Majesty: “Dahling, You Look Mahvelous””

  1. Adobe_Walls
    March 18th, 2015 @ 10:24 pm

    You know who else isn’t deft? Hillary Clinton. It is much remarked on the Clinton’s amazing ability to withstand and survive scandals large and small. That was Clintons plural. Now it’s just one Clinton, the one without the political people skills. The one whose popularity only goes up when she’s not doing anything.

  2. DeadMessenger
    March 18th, 2015 @ 10:56 pm

    Speaking of thronesniffers, here is an off topic, but funny story.

    I worked in a place that will remain anonymous, in which I was on a team of highly specialized engineers. We worked in a large room that contained the specialized lab equipment and a bunch of mainframes. This huge computer room had windows all around the perimeter with one-way glass from which we could see out but no one could see in. Outside this room was a desk belonging to a pretty blonde girl who gathered prints of different kinds and put them in cubbyholes assigned to various engineers and scientists. She also acted as kind of a receptionist.

    One night I was working late with someone on the team when we watched one of the nerdy engineers come into the area where the blonde girl worked, where he wasn’t supposed to be. Before we could go kick the jerk out, we saw him get down on his knees and start sniffing this girl’s chair. I swear this is true. We watched as he did that for awhile, actually fondling the seat of her chair.

    The next morning we told her about it. She was so grossed out, she went down to supply and got herself a new chair. Then, every night afterward when she left, she’d move her chair into one of our offices, and pull out the chair belonging to our boss’s secretary, a mean, dried up old harpy, and put that behind her desk. So when the engineer showed up at night to get his freak on, he’d actually be sniffing the wrong chair. Then the blonde would switch them back every morning.

    Good times…good times.

  3. Evi L. Bloggerlady
    March 18th, 2015 @ 10:59 pm

    Bs on inevitability

  4. Daniel Freeman
    March 18th, 2015 @ 11:39 pm

    I cannot be bothered to read something by someone so ignorant as to believe that there are 55,000 emails (as opposed to pages of printouts), or that they’re all in the government archives. It’s like they didn’t even bother to learn any facts before expressing an opinion.

  5. M. Thompson
    March 18th, 2015 @ 11:52 pm

    Statistical analysis tells me this guy is sniffing another throne.

    Mrs. Clinton lacks the powerful effect that Mr. Obama has on certain demographics. Besides, who wants to vote for a grandmother whose primary accomplishment is she was First Lady?

  6. Adobe_Walls
    March 19th, 2015 @ 12:53 am

    Mrs. Clinton lacks a lot of powerful tools they used to have too. When Bill survived all those scandals, (he was always the real target) he had the White House, the whole Democratic party not just her loyalists within it and almost all of the press. She doesn’t even have all of the Democrats with bylines let alone the new press and social media. Ron Fournier keeps saying follow the money. Always a good ides when hunting Clintons.

  7. Steve Skubinna
    March 19th, 2015 @ 3:13 am

    Must be some model airplane glue on that throne he’s sniffing.

    Hillary is America’s ex-wife. So what if it’s “her turn?” She was evitable in 2008 and she’s even more so now, that she’s inextricably linked to the slow motion train wreck of Barack Obama. She was too stupid and too vain to turn down the offer of SecState and now she’s tainted, not just by the disasters of our foreign policy but by everything crappy the mush mouthed metrosexual Mugabe has inflicted upon us.

    She wants to run on her record, and again she’s stupid and vain enough to think that isn’t toxic, then by all means. She wants to rely on her personality and charm, yeah tie that anchor around your neck and jump in. And for all the media whores who haven’t yet gotten the Obama memo that Hillary’s got an appointment under the bus, those Titanic deck chairs aren’t gonna rearrange themselves. More puff pieces please, on how swell this cackling scold and unreconstructed criminal is.

  8. K-Bob
    March 19th, 2015 @ 5:55 am

    It will be fun when she officially declares. The long knives will come out, and not even her walker will escape laceration.

    For example: I listened to an AoSHQ podcast last week where Ace related a story told to him by an FBI source. According to Ace (paraphrasing), this particular source had to deliver a series of questions to the First Lady regarding one of the investigations done (file-gate? Firings? I don't know).

    The agent said that he was just an errand boy, delivering the questions. However Hillary asked him, "Do you want the answers?" So the agent dutifully takes out his notepad and prepares to write.

    Hillary says, "Number one: 'f*ck you!', number two: 'f*ck you!', number three..." and it continued like that while the agent returned his notepad to his pocket.

    Clearly she’s the Leona Helmsley of political rectitude and grace.

    Bonus: the olfactory experience of her particular throne most likely bears the scent of bitter almond. (See for example one Foster, Vincent.)

  9. K-Bob
    March 19th, 2015 @ 6:07 am

    Speaking of “not deft” did you happen to catch Hugh Hewitt’s interview of Ben Carson?

    Daily Caller:

    Brutal, even though Hugh was trying hard to be as polite and helpful as possible. I really like the guy, but I’m guessing at best the run for 2016 is a way to prepare for a Senate seat somewhere down the road.

  10. Quartermaster
    March 19th, 2015 @ 7:30 am

    Creepy. Veeeery creepy.

  11. Isa
    March 19th, 2015 @ 7:41 am

  12. Gunga
    March 19th, 2015 @ 9:30 am

    “Formidable…” what? Did you copy that excerpt correctly? Shouldn’t that be “formidable appetite for Scotch mixed with the blood of virgins” or something else that makes sense in context?

  13. trangbang68
    March 19th, 2015 @ 9:56 am

    The old gal was student class president at Wellesley and on graduation day jumped in a lake you were forbidden to swim in as a statement of something.
    She went to Yale as a hairy legged proto feminist, hooked up with the serial rapist.She was the Madame Dafarge of the Watergate hearings until she was fired for being a liar.
    She went on to be first lady of the Hot Springs Dixie mafia, stealing everything not tied down while minoring in slandering Bubba’s rape victims.
    She followed Billy Jeff to the White House where she was such an arrogant entitled witch, she made Moochelle look like a humble public servant. She was aware enough to steal the silverware on the way out.
    She bought a New York senate seat by twisting Bubba’s balls until he freed some terrorists for the Puerto Rican vote.
    And then after getting chumped by Obola, she became Secretary of State and destroyed the Middle East, got an ambassador killed, got millions in foreign graft. She did manage to fly around the world a lot and get drunk.
    Nice resume, Hill. Now why don’t you run along. Your t-i-m-e is u-p.

  14. scarymatt
    March 19th, 2015 @ 10:25 am

    LOL. When someone says “objective conditions” with a straight face you know that they’re objectively full of shit.

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  16. theoldsargesays
    March 19th, 2015 @ 11:24 am

    Love it!

  17. theoldsargesays
    March 19th, 2015 @ 11:33 am

    Agreed. I don’t know how much longer it’ll take but i do not think that Ms. Clinton will end up announcing her candidacy.
    In the end she’ll have to admit to herself that she’s done.
    At that time her own long knives will come out and Obama’s place as the worst President in American history will finally have all the evidence needed to cement it in place forever.

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