The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

The Iowa Caucus Is Rape Culture

Posted on | February 1, 2016 | 68 Comments

Does that headline make sense? Of course not, but I’ve been reading so much feminist literature lately, I’ve come to realize that expecting headlines to make sense is patriarchal oppression.

“Shut the f–k up! Because patriarchy!”

To a feminist, everything is rape culture, and so the Iowa caucus must be part of it somehow. When coeds at the University of Alabama (scarcely a haven of radicalism) form a Feminist Caucus and issue a manifesto full of Women’s Studies jargon — the gender binary! heteronormativity! social constructs! — about “rape culture” in Tuscaloosa, we must realize American culture is so thoroughly corrupted nothing can save us from the destructive tsunami of complete decadence. As I explained the night Obama was re-elected, we are Doomed Beyond All Hope of Redemption. Meanwhile, in Iowa . . .

With 17% of precincts reporting in the Republican caucus, Texas Sen. Ted Cruz has 30%, businessman Donald Trump has 27% and Florida Sen. Marco Rubio has 19%, Dr. Ben Carson has 10% and former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush is . . . losing. Very badly.

So maybe there is a tiny glimmer of hope.

UPDATE 9:45 p.m.: With 37% precincts reporting, according to the New York Times, it’s Cruz 29%, Trump 26%, Rubio 20%, Carson 10% and former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush . . . still losing.

UPDATE 10 p.m.: Meanwhile, with 63% of precincts reporting on the Democrat side, it’s the Criminal Clinton 51%, Socialist Sanders 49% and former Maryland Gov. Martin O’Malley is losing even worse than Jeb Bush.

UPDATE 10:50 p.m.: OK, so 99% of precincts are counted, Cruz is the winner with 28%, Trump second with 24% and a surprisingly strong third-place finish for Marco Rubio with 23%. Marco just gave his big speech — full of the rhetoric of American exceptionalism — and sounded very confident about his prospects. Meanwhile, on the Democrat side, Martin O’Malley has hoisted the white flag, suspending his campaign, as has Mike Huckabee among Republicans.

At Jeb Bush HQ, it’s got to look like a Downfall parody video tonight. The dude spent $80 million and got 3%.

 

Category: Election, Iowa

Comments

68 Responses to “The Iowa Caucus Is Rape Culture”

  1. JohnnyL53
    February 2nd, 2016 @ 4:01 pm

    She was given the car so why wouldn’t she support the candidate who is offering the most “free” stuff.

  2. coachanthony
    February 2nd, 2016 @ 4:31 pm

    I do wish the media would refer to him as Bernie Sanders (S-VT) and stop pretending he’s an “Independent”.

  3. coachanthony
    February 2nd, 2016 @ 4:33 pm

    As I like to say:
    Go home, Jeb. Just go home.

  4. Daniel Freeman
    February 2nd, 2016 @ 5:24 pm

    Now I’m seeing estimates of $3000 a vote. Still, even 1/10th of that might’ve worked.

  5. Mike G.
    February 2nd, 2016 @ 5:33 pm

    Actually, she is making payments on the car and hasn’t missed one yet. We did give her her first car though.

    We raised her until she was 12 and decided she wanted to live with her mother. I guess that ruined most of what we taught her.

    But kids are prone to go after the latest shiny thing so I can see the appeal Bernie has for young people.

    By the way, she is in her 3rd year of college and has either received grants/scholarships or payed for it herself. She’s had a job since she was 16.

  6. Daniel Freeman
    February 2nd, 2016 @ 5:43 pm

    They can’t handle the cognitive dissonance of seeing the opposition of the Republican establishment to Jacksonian nationalism, when that’s also their own boogeyman. “But.. then we’re on the same side?!”

  7. CaptDMO
    February 2nd, 2016 @ 5:44 pm

    No, it means Hill is so bad, and Martain is SO so bad…

  8. CaptDMO
    February 2nd, 2016 @ 5:53 pm

    Noooooooooo….!
    Oh crap, now I’M going to be the cautionary tale!

  9. Valerie Stewart
    February 2nd, 2016 @ 6:12 pm

    That wouldn’t help much (if at all), as long as Sanders promises “free” stuff.

    It would be far better to have only the taxpayers at age 25-30 vote. Better yet, just go with 30.

  10. Valerie Stewart
    February 2nd, 2016 @ 6:27 pm

    “Rather be like Europe?” You mean like with titanic debt, super high taxes, rampant political “correctness”, an overburdened and inadequate single-payer system that’s causing Europeans lucky or deathly enough to flee to the US, while the remaining average Joes are stuck there because some countries like France will tax them heavily if they try to leave?

  11. Southern Air Pirate
    February 2nd, 2016 @ 8:16 pm

    Of course given 8 hours for the emails, private tweets and private messages to go out. The tune is changing from “OMFG TRUMP LOST IOWA!!!!1!” to one of “Trump lost Iowa but he will win big in the SEC and NH. HAVE YOU IDIOTS AND LAZY RACIST BASTARDS NOT SEEN HIS NATIONAL NUMBERS!!!!!!1!” To which I am reminded again of folks that surge and then burn out by mid stage of the primaries. Even with yuge poll numbers.

  12. Valerie Stewart
    February 3rd, 2016 @ 1:54 am

    Heh. Some of them (the anti-porn radfems) can’t even handle the fact that conservatives *are* against pornography.

    “Wait, they’re supposed to be stupid and wrong 100% of the time! How could they possibly agree with us on this issue?!”

  13. DeadMessenger
    February 3rd, 2016 @ 9:10 am

    I would say taxpayers > 40.

  14. Nancysfleshman4
    February 3rd, 2016 @ 9:57 am

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  15. SouthOhioGipper
    February 3rd, 2016 @ 10:52 am

    Bernie Sanders promises me nothing but a higher cost of living. I don’t want his college education. I don’t want his health care. I don’t want to live in high tax European style cradle to grave welfare state and if that means dividing the nation, so be it.

  16. Wombat_socho
    February 3rd, 2016 @ 1:44 pm

    I stole it from Fallout: New Vegas, to be honest.

  17. Maryrcrafton
    February 4th, 2016 @ 7:52 am

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    February 7th, 2016 @ 1:23 am

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